spicy_pickles

You have totally nailed it Matthew Lamot.

I do everything for myself. I think I'm just getting fed up with giving so much to others and getting zero in return. I might as well use that energy completely and totally on myself as opposed to others who don't appreciate it.

Think about the "amazing stuff" you want to do. Is it travelling? Is it skydiving? Make a list of the amazing stuff you want to do. Then, as Leo mentioned above, seek out organizations that share similar interests.

Fair enough, makes sense. I will have to go watch the meditation videos over again.

Not sure I understand. Arent we supposed to let those thoughts go away, drift away during meditation? Not dwell on them?

I attended a small rural high school years ago (I'm totally dating myself here). Because they didn't have the staff or class sizes required to offer specific courses each year, we had to take a course offered that was two years our senior. I'm from Canada and we had Grade 13 back in the day. So, in Grade 11 (or sometimes even Grade 10), if we wanted to take a Grade 13 level biology class, we had to do it during Grade 11. Point is, taking those classes will keep you on your toes and challenged which, based on what little I really know about self-actualization, will help you with self-actualization. Besides, even if you did decide to take something a little easier so you could focus on self improvement, I think you would realize rather quickly that you need to challenge/better yourself in other areas of your life (such as school). You will get what you set out to get out of those classes. Even though everyone writes the same test at the end of the term, many will take something completely different away from the course. Immerse yourself and get what YOU want to get out of them.

I've experienced this in the past, and I wasn't even on a journey of improvement. Matter awhile, I just changed how I reacted to them. If they were constantly negative, I would either join in and fuel their negativity by agreeing with them or talking about my own negative issues (as to one-up - my problem is worse!). Then, I just let it pass or changed the topic. Negative comment was met with - oh gee, that's too bad. Hey, did you hear about the event that's coming up on Saturday? When the negative comment wasn't getting any fuel, it seemed to dissipate.

My life is out of control. This is not who I intended to be! I have no drive, no motivation. I know who I want to be but just can't get there. I'm stuck in this rut, and that rut (that includes having no drive and motivation) is going to get me in trouble. I hate feeling like I've messed up. Like I'm a failure. I hate when I do screw up because of my lack of motivation and being in the rut. Being exhausted. Right now I'm in the midst of finding out if I massively screwed up yet again.... need to be better.

These videos are so much more useful to me the second time around. I just watched the one about worrying. Yes, I watched it before, but I don't think I was fully aware of the capacity I was worrying in. For example, I worried about messing up on an exam for a job. I worried about making a mistake on my government form and getting denied. I worried about this. I worried about that. But then I realized what is so true - all that worrying will do NOTHING to help my situation. It is what it is now, and I can't do anything about a lot of these situations. So why bother worrying? Therefore, I've started to positive worry. So, I'm positive worrying about how awesome it's going to be when I do get that job I applied for, how I will excel in the position, how I have the experience and knowledge to really make a difference. Instead of feeling anxious and upset, I felt this wave of excitement flow over me, just by changing my negative worrying into positive worrying! I have lots of work to do. This has only just begun to scratch the tip of the iceberg. My spare time, I'm happy to say, will now be devoted to exercise and self development.

Thank you for your replies. I made a change just now (in the right direction) and went for a run. I was listening to the video Awareness Alone is Curative. It was a great video to listen to because I literally got off my rear end and decided to go for a run while I was being totally aware of my current state. I was laying in bed, fully allowing myself to do so, and feeling every single feeling that came over me. I felt how much it made me feel like crap! That gave me the push to move! I am going to listen to some more videos now. Thanks again.

I've watched videos in the past, just random ones here and there depending on my mood. I would like to make more of myself. I think I'm particularly jaded right now because I got fired back in the spring, I'm having a terribly difficult time getting through the final step in my profession, I feel like I've wasted all that time and money going back to school to get that professional designation. My partner is also a "glass half empty" person most of the time, but is quick to support me and give me positive energy. But I still feel like something is missing in my life. Righr now I'm just laying in bed because I don't have the motivation to do anything. Could go for a walk but too lazy. Could read a book but don't feel like it. Just like someone came and sucked all the energy out of me and replaced it with anxiousness, stress, worry and fear.

Ugh! In the midst of my job hunt, I wrote a test yesterday for a position I am very keen on. I know I aced it. The only problem is through all the craziness of everything, my mind is playing with me. Now I can't stop thinking about whether or not I did something as dumb as forgetting to put my name on the test. I know, it's almost like we are so programmed to do that its second nature. But I can't stop playing it over and over and over in my mind, trying to remember if I did it or not. I would feel like the worlds biggest idiot (and I'm sure everyone else would think I was too) if I aced that test but was pushed out of the candidate pool because I did something so stupid. I can't do anything about it now, but I feel so lame and idiotic.

This is going to sound like I'm lazy but hear me out. I'm basically taking the entire summer off as I was fired back in May. Thankfully, I had a hunch something like this was going to happen, so I am financially stable enough to not be working. I have my eye on a job that I will be beginning the interview process for next week, but if I do get hired, it won't be until Fall. When I was at my last crummy job, I would have given anything to be in the position I'm in now. I love having the days to myself. I love the time I have to myself. I have always wanted this! Am I afraid that when I do work I will hate it just as much as the last job? Would I rather just do nothing even after all the schooling I have? I don't get why I feel like I do.

The job I have my eye on fulfils my passion. I was able to experience short glimpses of it while I was at my old job, and it was the favourite part of my job. Luckily for me, this new one (if I get it) will allow me to completely engage in my passion. I have my dream condo. I have oodles of time off to myself. I am working on my relationship with my partner and we are growing stronger. I am slowly becoming able to speak my mind and express my feelings without fear of negative implications. I'm cutting back on excess useless items in my life. I'm working hard on my finances. I have started exercising and eating better. I'm making some serious progress! Maybe it's because I'm doing all of this at once, leaving the old in the past, that it is becoming overwhelming? I'm not sure.

I attempted to meditate today for 20 minutes. The monkey mind was a lot different than I expected. I thought my mind would wander into problems, issues, fear, stress, etc. It did a few times, but I was able to bring it back. I pictured clouds passing through the sky. The monkey mind actually thought of peaceful things such as meditation on the beach, rain drops against a window, fall leaves on a tree I might have had a total of one minute where I wasn't "thinking" about anything. I did meditate to background binaural music. It helped clear my mind. I don't know if this is wrong or not. It felt wonderful though.

Day 2. Phone was charging so I attempted a completely silent meditation. Not as productive as yesterday but still managed to get some calm moments in there. I noticed that every time my mind clears of the crazy monkey, I have a visualization of a clear sky at a park from my hometown. It's like I'm there, in the soccer field to be exact. Back when I lived there, I would walk the track around the soccer field. To me this signifies peace and calm. I'm not thinking, it's just that this image comes into my mind when everything is quiet. On a positive note, I have decreased my drinking habits significantly in the past three days. Used to have a good three drinks a day. I had one beer today and honestly I could have done without it. Whether the meditation has anything to do with that, I'm not sure. There's been stressful moments pop up that would usually cause me to reach for a drink. But I just don't feel like it.

Thank you!

Today it really hit me as to how I waste my valuable time. I am glued to games on my phone for most of the day, read through Twitter headlines, etc. Sheer boredom. That's why I do it. I want to start developing some better habits. I need to put the phone away and focus on doing some reading, going for walks, exercising, etc. Something more mindful. Has anyone successfully become unstuck from their boring old rut and improved their lives? I'm guessing so, I just need some advice on how to get moving with it.

Thank you. I have been attempting meditation although I need some work at it. I find I need music to help me meditate as I can never be somewhere that is silent.

I tried meditating. I was in the shower, sitting. Difficult at first. I was able to meditate for one minute..... But for that one minute I was able to fully clear my mind and focus on how the water sounded and felt. Really good one minute. Wish I could have done it longer!

I can't stop thinking negatively. Maybe that's because I've had nothing but negative experiences since I moved to this city 5 years ago. The one thing that is going well for me is my condo that I'm renting. I love it. It's our third condo in 5 years. This feels like home and it is everything I want. However, my biggest worry that I can't stop thinking about is that our landlord will tell us she has decided to sell the place. Not only do we not want to move AGAIN, but we have become settled here and are very happy. i think it's because I just expect everything to go to crap nowadays.

Well, forced to resign. I could go on and on about how I was treated unfairly, how certain things weren't my fault, how I was underpaid anyways, etc. Truth be known, I hated it. I hated every second I sat in that chair. I hated the anxious, nervous, hollow feeling in my stomach because I was always afraid of screwing up. Always afraid of not being good enough. Paraniod. Quadruple checking documents so my boss wouldn't make me feel like a complete idiot when I made a mistake. I wasn't a good fit. I wasn't good at what I did. I didn't fit the company profile. That's fine. It's the truth. I have interviews lined up and job opportunities to explore in fields I am passionate about. This experience has also released a urge for me to explore other options such as starting my own part time ventures. I would have never even thought of that before because my previous work left me stressed out of my mind. In the coming days, I am focusing solely on personal development, exercise and job opportunities. No need to dwell on could have/should haves

Career - horrible in every sense. Future career and professional development - bleak Family - many dealing with illness and health issues Relationship - must push all my problems aside because partner is constantly stressed and bringing their problems home and into the relationship. Would love to run away from it all.

Hi. Fourteen years ago I went back to school. Half of it was part time, half was full time. I spent tens of thousands of dollars and now, close to being 40 years old, I'm still paying off the debt. I applied for professional designation in my field a few months ago. Basically got denied. Have to put in more time and effort to try and prove myself (which I will do). All I can think of is the fact I may simply get rejected which would have made all of this a massive waste. Very discouraged right now. Any words of wisdom?

I think that over the years I may have defined myself through this. "I am worthless if I do not achieve this final goal that I worked towards". Not necessarily. I can be the difference I want to be without this actually. I thought long and hard about this and realized that my initial goal years ago was to work in a certain field. Going back to school was just so I could get closer to that. I now know I really didn't need to go that far, but it certainly helped, and there are options for me (depending on how much I want to pursue them). Frankly, my initial goal got muddled somewhat through this process. Taking a step back and thinking this through differently is providing me with a better insight.