spicy_pickles

Definitely working on maintaining this. Can't back down.

Today made me realize how out of touch I am with life. My relationship is terrible. Realized today I've been made to feel guilty for just about everything. Even though I realize this, it's hard to break away, because, as I mentioned, I feel like I'll be "ruining lives" if I do. I'm gaining weight left right and centre. I have an amazing job, but I feel like the other stress gets in the way of it. I turn to booze for comfort. I don't even know where to start.

Mind you, it was a guided meditation. I'm not sure if that matters. I started by focusing on my breath. After that, I focused on letting my muscles relax, starting in my feet and working my way up. The more I relaxed and focused on my breath, I started feeling a tingling sensation. Warm, tingly feeling in my hands and toes. This started to spread. Then, I became emotional and started to cry. But my lips tightened up and became tingly as well, like they were pursed and I could not open my mouth. After 20 mins, the tingling ceased as I started to come out of the meditation. I cannot believe how fast 20 minutes went. I thought it was an odd reaction to meditation, but it almost felt like something sour or negative was trying to escape my body. Any thoughts?

I won't lie. At first it was tough to let thoughts "pass by". But it became better the more I focused on my breath and somewhat started to enjoy the tingling sensation.

I've meditated in the past but was never consistent with it (maybe lasted for a few days or so)

Here we go.... I was down and out last night and today. To the point I couldn't even bring myself to talk to my significant other. He said, this isn't like you. He's right. I called in sick today and feel tremendous guilt over doing so. I love my job and feel so guilty for doing this. All these thoughts are rushing to my head - will I be disciplined? Will this be detrimental to me? I know, a little over the edge. So I thought to myself, what is the first step in all of this? The answer became pretty clear to me - boundaries. Being a life-long people pleaser meant I had zero to little boundaries. Someone wanted something? Sure! Allow me to bend over backwards for you. Don't really feel like doing anything? No problem, I'll be right there to help. My entire life. This started in grade school. I'd allow "friends" to copy my homework so they would like me. I would go to events I didn't feel like going to. So naturally, when I wake up with a migraine, I feel guilty for not being that person that never ever takes a sick day. The reason I am so resentful in my current relationship is due to lack of boundaries. I have set the bar high, showing that I am willing to do ALL the household chores and grocery shopping. I can take care of cooking as well. I can accommodate my partner at the drop of a hat. I never set boundaries because I was too worried that I would be just like his ex wife, nagging him to get things done. I didn't want to be like that, I wanted to be the cool girlfriend. I mean, my grandmother did all the housework, a lot of the other women I grew up did as well...so what's the problem? The problem is that boundaries were set. It wasn't a free for all. I have not once set boundaries in this relationship until recently when I loosely did. But then I would fold on them as well. I'd get so mad when my partner didn't do something I asked, so I would do it myself and just be mad. Included with that is my inability to communicate when I need to, especially to superiors and in partnerships. I always had hesitation speaking to my bosses at work. I felt stupid for asking a question. I felt dumb asking if I could take the rest of the day off because I wasn't feeling good. I was afraid to ask for time off. Same with my relationships. I never communicated. I still don't to some extent. Let's be honest, the only way barriers can be in place is if good communication happens. Well, that's my insight for now. More to follow I'm sure.

I'm new to all this alternative healing, but I'm very interested. Can I join? Can you tell me how to start?

I just read the information on the link you provided. I have it saved. It is bookmarked. It is easily accessible for me. I am going to re-read it. Thank you. Thank you for providing that.

I've done something in the past that has lead me to the mess I'm in now. People pleaser, right? I've been manipulated. I've been taken advantage of. I am not the victim, the person doing this is playing that card. Everything I did was wrong. My actions were wrong. Therefore, I apologized and promised to be better. That made the victim happy. Until the next "misstep" came along. Oh, I was reminded of my actions. Could this person do wrong? Of course. But if I spoke my mind about how it made me upset, I was wrong. I didn't understand. That person should be allowed to get away with these things because of all the horrible and terrible events in their life. What is wrong with me? Where's my sympathetic ear? Jeez, I'm such a horrid person. And just like that a light clicked. I've been used and taken advantage of. Will this person ever see this? No. I will still be the most horrible person on the face of the earth.

I realized my faults now. What I should have seen from day one. I should have seen I was being used / treated poorly.

I noticed something very powerful with another pendant I picked up. It was calling me, so I chose it and read the description. Later when I got home, I read more into it. It resonates very strongly with me, especially after I realized that the healing properties are exactly what I needed ( and I blindly picked the stone). It is an amazonite. It has helped me recognize the truth of my situation, even though it's hard to face. It's the truth and it's the situation I'm dealing with. I didn't want to wear the pendant because of how difficult it was to see things for what they are. Having said that, after watching the video about mastering emotions, I am able to take that filter and look at this differently. Well, at least I'm working on that part.

I realized my whole life I've been like this. I've set my hopes up and have looked forward to certain events, times (weekend) etc followed by extreme sadness and depression after they came to an end. Then it usually follows with dread for anything that is in the future until I can find something to look forward to again. This can't be good, how can I fix it?

Thank you. Giving of myself was something I initially wanted to do. Now, it seems as though it is not only expected, but taken advantage of.

I'm a work in progress on many levels, but the one thing that has finally figured itself out for me is my career. Oddly enough, I never thought I'd end up where I am. I always had a passion for the field I'm in since I was a kid, but with my educational background I thought I'd be doing something completely different. Actually, many people would look at me on paper and think, "you could be doing SO much more". But I'm happy. It took me getting fired from a job I hated deep deep down to realize my true passion. A friend in school once said that it's everyone's passion to make a difference. I had no idea how to do this at the time. When I started working full time, that truth became even further away. At the end of the day it was all about the almighty dollar, making people happy, giving people what they wanted. Now, the simplest actions I do make an impact on not only me, but the people I deal with on a day to day basis.

Sure. I love time to myself where I can do whatever I want. So when I look forward to this, when it's coming to an end, I am sad. I think it's because I feel like I have to be a people pleaser and go out of my way to make everyone happy, therefore I just expect to have zero time to myself. I will be focusing on everyone else but myself.

Can this approach be used for other habits? Like negative ones to break? For example, can I use it to break my habit of overthinking and caring too much about the actions of others?

I'm in a rut. On one hand I see the world before me. I see opportunities to grow, to try new things, to discover and explore. I'm not talking about travelling the world or things of that nature. I just want to experience things in my own city, I want to evolve as a person. This will undoubtedly upset my partner who has seen me for who I am for 6 years now. The last time I tried to "branch" out he was insulted and claimed I did not want to be in a relationship because I enjoyed spending time alone. He's known this since day one, that I enjoy my alone time. Suddenly it's a problem. I feel like I'm not his partner yet a tool to be used at his calling. I'm good for this task, so I should stick around for that. I'm good for that task, so I should be available for him for that. No attempt whatsoever to strengthen this relationship, just a very stagnant partnership. Im ready to change who I am, what I do and how I react to things. This probably won't go over well.

Everything is just a mess right now. Where do I start? What videos do I start with? I've watched a bunch in the past, but I'm wondering if there's a certain sequence to follow to basically help someone who is as far away from self actualization as one could be. Thanks.

I have been in a relationship for 6 years. Things have progressively become worse. I won't go into details, but I feel like I cannot leave. When we've had arguments, my partner has basically assumed I'll leave, but it's my fault for putting up with his behaviour for so long. It will be my fault for hurting people's feelings if I leave. I will be the bad guy. He refuses to change, but if I say it's a deal breaker, it's my fault. I feel so guilty because if I leave, I'll be the worst person on the face of the earth.

I suppose I figured it out...that's a start. I fear rejection. I know where it comes from too. When I was younger, I had a difficult time making friends. I would fake being sick just so I didn't have to be at school around other kids. As I grew older and made some friends, the same rejection pattern would happen. Granted, we are talking about 15 year old girls here, but still. One day, these girls would be my friends and the next they would hate me and not speak to me. This is why to this day, I still expect people to like me, and then hate me suddenly the next day. I fear rejection. I fear putting my all into something just to be rejected or tossed aside the next day.

This is basically it. Demanding (chasing) satisfaction and being a people pleaser. Thats me.

I'm going to be brutally honest and admit I was using this to escape from my problems. As soon as the alcohol entered my bloodstream, I felt like my problems were going away. I wasn't drunk or even buzzed, but I could tell a major difference. Every night I do this, I feel worse off after the effects wear off. Not physically, but emotionally. I wake up in the middle of the night and my mind is racing. I'm depressed the next morning and all those negative thoughts come racing back. I can't focus on anything but the negative and "what ifs". I enjoy my booze here and there, but I'm glad I recognized how I was using it as opposed to simply enjoying it.

Hi all, What are some of Leo's videos that focus on those of us who get sucked into other people's problems and feel as though we either have to help solve them, or we get upset when they are experiencing them? Something that highlights the fact whatever is their problem doesn't concern us. For example, when you want to be supportive about your husbands family issues, but get wrapped up in the thought that a) it might affect you because they might drag you into it and b) you feel like you have to help out and make things better in order to keep the peace.

I finished listening to Leo's video regarding How to Deal With Strong Negative Emotions. That's it. I know why these negative emotions as of late are taking over. Deep down, I fear being rejected. It stems from my childhood. I had that same empty pit in my stomach when friends suddenly decided they didn't like me anymore. It was a stupid childish game. Everyone got together and decided that tomorrow, they would suddenly dislike "so and so". That same feeling is what I have now. The exact same feeling of worrying that somehow, out of the blue, I will be rejected by someone who hasn't shown any previous reason to want to do so. Thank you Leo. This video made me realize this. Now I can do the work to overcome it.

I feel like I'm getting closer to this. Just all the BS that's happened in the past three weeks, I'm just so sick and tired of giving my attention to things I cannot control. Sure, it hurts to know that someone could plant information in someone's head and suddenly that individual thinks I'm horrible. What can I do? Nothing. I want to spend my day alone lounging around and reading books? Who cares? Why am I trying to meet everyone's needs? So much piled up recently. I don't know, but it was enough for me to prioritize things. As minor as it sounds, I haven't spent a dime on eating out for lunch or buying coffees every day I've made a budget I've taken proactive steps to drastically reduce my debt as opposed to just paying off the monthly minimums. I've been reading more, learning more, expressing more. i feel like I'm on the right track now. I need to keep this up.