something_else

Emotional turbulence. When I know what needs to be done, my mind flips between excitement + drive, and fear. When fearing, it'll generate a million excuses not to do said thing

Occasionally the forum won't load for me at all, it just times out. I'd say maybe once every few days

Is it not the case that 3 copyright strikes can get your channel suspended?

Clothes convey a lot more than looks. They convey your personal style, personality, confidence, social skills e.g. appropriate dress, how well you express yourself etc.

It sounds like you're heavily settled into a routine, I can see that getting boring. I know I need to change things up every now and then otherwise I get similar feelings. Maybe start trying some radically different and new things from what you've done up until now? That's a good way to build some excitement Bear in mind I'm only 21 and have far less life experience than you, so I could be talking out my ass

I was able to make numbers in that neighbourhood on a site called freelancer.com doing web scraping. It's been probably 4 years since I was in the online gig business, but from what I understand you can still make reasonable money, especially with skills like logo/graphic design and video editing. Any kind of technical skillset will be viable on these kinds of sites if you can build up a decent rating. I'm not sure what the best sites to use where you're from are, I think freelancer.com is quite UK focused but I'm not sure. Do your own research on which site is best for the skills you have and your location. The typical strategy is start with lowball prices until you get a few good ratings and a decent portfolio and then you can start to increase how much you charge. If you're not in desperate need of money and you have time to be patient and build up a good profile this strategy could work quite well for you Or if you're thinking bigger, you could probably get hired at a remote company or become an actual freelancer with that skillset if you're good enough and have a decent portfolio already.

Sorry, let me rephrase. What chain of logic have you used to conclude that the dating market works in the way that you suggested it does? I'm trying to understand your reasoning

What logic have you used to convince yourself that the market works in the way you believe it does?

How do you know that's how the market works? Maybe you're right, I'm just asking what your reasons in particular are for believing it works that way.

How's it a strawman? It's exactly what you said. You said that because that's how it was 30k years ago, that's how it is today. I gave you an example of how that logic is dumb Yes if you have looks and status then dating is easier. That's like saying because someone else was born a millionaire you shouldn't try to earn any money. But in the same way as the millionaire can lose all his money by being dumb and reckless, someone with looks and status can still seriously drive away girls by being unhygienic, disgusting or very poorly dressed. And you can improve your impression by being well dressed, stylish and hygienic. Some guys can literally go from a 4 to an 8 in the looks department with the right style and hygiene But style is also about conveying personality and expressing yourself which is a big part of attraction

By this logic if you want to attract women you should do it like a caveman, naked, smelly and fully unshaved and unshowered for your entire life. Best of luck to you with that

Oh, and this is your most important insight. Like @Leo Gura said you need to stop consuming this shit and now you know why

First of all congrats man!!! Now tell your mind to shut the fuck up. It's moving the goal posts. You set yourself the goal of going out. Against all the odds, feeling like complete shit, you pushed through that and went out anyway. And you had a great time. Your story is essentially identical to mine, I don't know if you read my thread or not. Like the similarity is uncanny. Now notice your mind is trying to play down this accomplishment?? Why? Who gives a shit if you drank alcohol, what you did was still extremely challenging for you to do in the first place but you pushed through. Now be consistent, go again next week. Your mind will generate the same BS and you will push through again. Alcohol or no alcohol. Should you try to reduce the alcohol consumption over time as you get more tolerant of the club environment? Yes. Is drinking at the start to match everyone else's energy, relax, and fit in a little better wrong? Not at all. And you should also try to make some clubbing friends too. But now you know you don't need them.

I really do wish you the best. PM me if you ever want to talk about anything

Notice that I'm pretty much just asking you to explain your feelings and opinions to me. I'm not respecting or disrespecting, I'm just asking Reread my last 4 messages again. All I have done is ask you "how do you know for sure that nothing in the entire world excites you" and you've found 4+ ways of dodging answering that specific question directly and now you're accusing me of trying to be a smartass with you I made an observation that you are assuming everything in the world is garbage, I'm sure that seems like total, complete, utter, reality in your mind and I have total compassion for whatever shit you've been through on your life that's caused you to feel that way. Life can be absolutely fucking brutal I'm just asking this question repeatedly to you in the hopes that it may open up your mind to the possibility that there could be something you have never seen or experienced in the world before for which you feel a deep passion, or even just mild excitement. Until you have deeply explored what the world has to offer, you can't know whether such a thing exists or not. And wouldn't you rather take a chance and find out? It's difficult to know whether to be compassionate or hard with someone, I might have been a bit on the hard side and I'm sorry for that. I hope you can grasp or at least be open the point I'm trying to make to you though

Sure this sounds like a real zinger, but it doesn't answer the question I asked you. I asked how do you know that no travel, food or activities in the entire world excite you? How have you come to the conclusion that all of these things are a poop sausage in your mind?

How do you know you don't like them?

How do you know none of these things excite you if you've never tried them. You're telling me you've been to every city in the world, tried every food, built up skill in every activity and none of it excited you?

How do you know? Have you tried everything else there is to try in the entire universe? Having other things to do in life besides women is basically a requirement to start attracting women... Even if all you can think about is women, force yourself to start doing other things, new things. Your mind will tell you none of it is worthwhile but your mind is full of shit

"Nothing I've ever done excites me" "How much have you done" "Yawn" Dude, you have literally experienced less than half of a half of a half of a half of a half of a half of a percent of what the world has to offer and you've concluded that nothing could possibly excite you. You must see how silly that is I don't know if compassion or hardness is what you need, probably some of both. My honest impression is just that you need to get out of your head and try as many new things as you possibly can But what do I know, I don't know you

Out of curiosity, what motivates you to keep posting on this forum? I'm not suggesting you stop, I'm just curious what your internal experience of that is And I know nothing about you, but it seems like you hate everyone. I would start trying to unwire that. People are awful, selfish, stupid, and entirely focused on their own lives, yes. But why does that deserve hatred? That's the natural way for humans to be, and anything else requires a lot of work on the part of the human. Most people by default will have some positive traits mixed in with all that junk. It's a bit of a trope/cliche, but the critical flaws in humans are what make their few positive traits so admirable. Having said all of this, I think wishy washy ideas, spirituality etc. are not what you need. It doesn't sound like relationships are what you need either. It sounds like you need to explore the world. Perhaps even literally. You need to find things that excite you. Are you really so sure nothing can excite you? How much of the world have you really seen and experienced? Travel, go to weird countries, do weird things, try weird food, do activities you've never done before. Do things that spike your adrenaline. Explore. Feel the freedom of life. Be impulsive. Experience. Drop your expectations. Take action without thinking too much. That's how you cure the feeling of being trapped.

Whatever you do, have some item of clothing or appearance that makes you stand out. Especially where I stay, at least 60% of guys on a night out wear a polo shirt, slim fit jeans and have an identical short back and sides haircut. There was a crowd of dudes outside my window, at least 10 of them, on Friday and you literally could not distinguish between any of them in a lineup. They all looked identical. Don't be like that. The style is attractive but every guy does it so suddenly you're not memorable at all. The challenge is standing out without it being in a weird or unattractive way

Here's a very relevant story of mine from a few weeks back, have a read. I felt exactly like you felt and ended up having a blast of a night. If you go out alone I think you're always going to need to deal with your mind coming up with emotional shit like that Drinking some alcohol can help relax the shitty thoughts. It also helps if the place is really busy because no one knows you're alone by sight, and if you feel stressed you can just blend into the crowd. If someone asks who you're there with just say you're new to the town and you just wanna have a fun night. Ideally you won't even need that because you're right, non-verbal communication is key on the dance floor, it's a good skill to work on In my experience, if you go alone, the mindset you want is "let's fucking do it and see what the fuck happens". Clubs are chaotic, literally anything can happen. Try to get your mind to tap into the adrenaline and excitement of that prospect Tell yourself that anything else that your mind generates other than "fuck it let's see what happens" is an expectation and should be ignored as much as reasonably possible

Are you sure she wasn't being ironic? that phrase is pretty much universally used jokingly now

Yes, I thought so, was just confirming