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Dude, look at how much horseshit your mind is generating to avoid accepting the fact you might have been even slightly in the wrong I'm almost impressed You were labelled as a dangerous individual purely based on your own behaviour. If these places give creepy dudes second chances girls get spiked, abused, raped and murdered. It's not about being rational and fair, these people are acting to protect others and maintain the quality vibe of their bar. You have to play by their rules This is the last thing I'm going to say because you're mind is superglued clamshell level of closed and anything anyone says to you, you'll have a million logical reasons why they're wrong and you don't need to change your behaviour Which means you'll continue to get the same results you've been getting. But hey, at least you destroyed some people using your cold hard facts and logic on the internet, right?

Stop thinking of this as a logical argument or debate. Your mind will generate a million excuses about how you were not in the wrong. You were interpreted by many people as being a creepy fuckhead. There's all the evidence you need If you want the benefits of playing the social game, like sex, get over yourself and learn the social game. Stop viewing yourself as some pariah of independent thought who's above all these plebeians playing the social game You don't need to sacrifice your authenticity if that's what you're scared of, you're learning how to express it more effectively

I want to say you did nothing wrong but you've been kicked out of multiple places for the same reasons? At that point you gotta start looking inwards I got kicked out of a place recently for far far less, now I go to another place and haven't had a problem. Some places are just shitty and sometimes you just get unlucky, but this is clearly a pattern in your case You seem super authentic which is great, but you need to accept that some social rules are there for a reason and you need to follow them and sprinkle your authenticity in over time, build it up Learn the social game before you start trying to transcend it Bold authenticity is scary unless it's extremely skillfully applied with social awareness. That's why small talk exists. It's a tease. A lubricant. Designed to let you slowly work your way into the good stuff while letting others know you're safe

If you want to do online dating for serious relationships Tinder is not your best bet. I haven't tried instagram, I'd imagine that's slightly better. But like @Jacob Morres said Hinge is better for more serious relationships, Bumble is also a much better bet. Having said that you're right, you're probably much healthier avoiding online dating to begin with lol

That's... an aggressive response. I know I'm no old wise genius, but I was heavy into the "oh I'm not superficial, I'm above all that" mindset when I was a nerdy awkward kid in school and now I know that was to protect my ego And I've known a few others who have done the same, and seen plenty online too There's a pattern, it's a very common thing for socially awkward, introverted but intelligent guys to do, so I figured it was worth mentioning I was quite aggressive though, definitely shouldn't have made such assumptions and been a little less on the nose, so sorry about that And I do agree it's definitely possible to be mainly focused on deep traits, but for many guys that requires deeply satisfying the superficial desires first. Which I guess you've done, but many haven't and use the depth thing as a protection I also agree with you entirely that viewing things through the lense of pickup isn't always healthy. But the pickup style of intense, frequent socialising is an extremely valuable stage of development for many awkward guys who aren't as developed as you so don't discount it entirely. My main goal is just to be better at all round socialising

I may be entirely off base here, and even projecting my past self slightly, but in my personal experience the guys who say shit like this are usually not successful with women they're attracted to so they take this position to protect their ego Not saying that's what you're doing, just that I've noticed that pattern in other guys and used to do the same thing when I was younger

All pretty good until we get here. This is where you start sounding super fucking rapey

Problem is there isn't one. Everyone needs and wants different things

Get a group of friends who are reasonably similar to you who also enjoy going out every now and then and go along with them. And go out on your own sometimes too. The only limiting belief here is the one you have that such people don't exist

Interesting, I'm the opposite. I actually can struggle to hold conversation one on one a lot more It's really easy to playfully tease groups of girls for a start In my experience they're far more likely to put effort into the convo too since there's much less tension there than there is one on one. And they're far more likely to get emotionally invested in the convo since they're with friends who they'll be playing off too If you're a guy talking to a group of girls their attention is all on you by default, you don't need to fight for it. Unless they outright reject you, which can feel really shitty too I suppose What's a nice guy smile? I'd bet your smile is just creepy lol. Forced smiles have a tendency to look off for some people, me included. As an example, if I force myself to smile at a girl on the train it usually comes off as creepy. However recently I saw a girl get stuck in the door (internal so she was perfectly safe lol) and it was genuinely funny, so when I smiled at her it came across as genuine and not creepy. She burst out laughing because a genuine smile is contagious You can kinda work on it. Or you can try other things. I've been experimenting with subtle eyebrow raises and a smirk to break the stoic look if I lock eyes with a girl. It's worked really well during the day so far, though I tend not to do much talking/approaching during the day, just eye contact. I'm addicted to eye contact games on the train where I try and flirt with girls using just eye contact. It's really fucking good fun I haven't tried that in clubs though, I tend to rely on the dance floor where initial eye contact seems less important than other body language, so not sure I can offer any direct experience there

One thing Leo said that resonated with me was that perhaps high-grade military cameras are barely even able to detect these things. Which, really, makes sense. They would have technology beyond anything we could imagine, how can we expect to get high quality footage with a phone camera? That changed my perspective a bit on what kind of evidence would be required to convince me. And these aliens would be wise beyond anything we're capable of imagining. They would understand that revealing themselves to us would be unwise, for one we would likely respond with hostile attacks, it would create social chaos for us, and they would understand that it's important for species to develop themselves and not have their development interfered with. For an analogy, any attempts made to interfere with less developed countries by giving them money, technology, invading them etc. usually fail or end badly because these countries need to develop in their own way. It can't be forced or interfered with unless extremely carefully and precisely. So what reason would aliens have to just reveal themselves to us all? It doesn't benefit them, it doesn't benefit us

What would you consider real evidence? I'm neutral on the topic, I really don't know. But, I could absolutely entertain the idea of aliens having visited us, it doesn't seem too wild if you think about the kind of technology that might be available to them And, if you think about aliens as being more developed than humans not just technologically but socially, then what they would likely do if they had the power to visit any planet with life at will is observe quietly and stay out of the way as much as possible. What could they possibly gain from interference? They're already millions of years ahead of us in development, we would provide literally zero value to them so all that's left to do is observe us like we do zoo animals

Oh and yes, do this, but maybe not just because you want a wing. Do this because you want to socialise yourself and keep in mind that a wing would be a nice thing to have if you happen to come across one

Unless you are seriously struggling mentally, yes. Chances are you're making this thread because you know going out is the right thing to do but your mind is coming up with all sorts of excuses Some of the best nights I've had have started with me not wanting to go out, feeling very similar to you Problem is if you give in to a particular excuse i.e. 'I feel negative, so no one will want to be around me, so I should just stay in' you can be DAMN sure your mind is gonna generate that excuse harder and stronger next time to stop you from going out again. Now that it knows that's what works. What makes this so hard is that your mind is rationally right, if you feel bad, good chance you'll have a bad night. It just makes sense. But you might also have a great night once you get out there. Your mind doesn't like this risk though, it'd rather take the safe option, so it does everything in its power to make you go for that easy option If you've read The War of Art, this is like the 'Resistance' it talks about. That book is really good for realising that your mind can be your own worst enemy, and helping you overcome that

Nah, stay. It's a good way to express and release whatever you're going through just now, for me anyway Just don't get too dependant on it. If it doesn't work for a short period of time, so what. If it does, enjoy it For me it works 95%+ of the time anyway

Bitter about what?

Direct donations are probably better if possible, I'd imagine Patreon take a substantial cut I've bought the book list, but I haven't donated

@Rilles To be honest, I find it a good rain check for when I'm spending too much time on here If I get frustrated that it won't load, it reminds me that 90% of what I do in here isn't productive and that I shouldn't really care

Emotional turbulence. When I know what needs to be done, my mind flips between excitement + drive, and fear. When fearing, it'll generate a million excuses not to do said thing

Occasionally the forum won't load for me at all, it just times out. I'd say maybe once every few days

Is it not the case that 3 copyright strikes can get your channel suspended?

Clothes convey a lot more than looks. They convey your personal style, personality, confidence, social skills e.g. appropriate dress, how well you express yourself etc.

It sounds like you're heavily settled into a routine, I can see that getting boring. I know I need to change things up every now and then otherwise I get similar feelings. Maybe start trying some radically different and new things from what you've done up until now? That's a good way to build some excitement Bear in mind I'm only 21 and have far less life experience than you, so I could be talking out my ass

I was able to make numbers in that neighbourhood on a site called freelancer.com doing web scraping. It's been probably 4 years since I was in the online gig business, but from what I understand you can still make reasonable money, especially with skills like logo/graphic design and video editing. Any kind of technical skillset will be viable on these kinds of sites if you can build up a decent rating. I'm not sure what the best sites to use where you're from are, I think freelancer.com is quite UK focused but I'm not sure. Do your own research on which site is best for the skills you have and your location. The typical strategy is start with lowball prices until you get a few good ratings and a decent portfolio and then you can start to increase how much you charge. If you're not in desperate need of money and you have time to be patient and build up a good profile this strategy could work quite well for you Or if you're thinking bigger, you could probably get hired at a remote company or become an actual freelancer with that skillset if you're good enough and have a decent portfolio already.

Sorry, let me rephrase. What chain of logic have you used to conclude that the dating market works in the way that you suggested it does? I'm trying to understand your reasoning