something_else

Uhg, I know. I regret it. In my head I was thinking "well we have a date in a few days, I'm busy just now, it won't be a huge deal, we will just meet up then" but that was dumb in hindsight. To add some context we had been chatting on snap for about a week and a half, we couldn't go on a date sooner cos I was away in another country. It was definitely more relationship kinda talk than hookup kinda talk so I figured if I didn't go hookup with her that night we would just go for coffee on the day we were planning. Guess that's not how girls think Yea, I know. I was busy, she doesn't live that close. It wasn't practical. I figured it would not be a huge deal, but I regret it now. Oh well, valuable lesson learnt

This is actually really good to know and I didn't really think of it like that. My approach has always been to take it as far as possible in the club physically and then try to close and you're right, once you take it that far you have to scale it way back down to handle the logistics of getting home before you ramp things back up again and something about that kills attraction for girls Girls seem to have this thing where if you peak the sexual tension too early and don't close they lose all attraction for you. Why is that? It might actually be one of the most frustrating things to experience as a dude. I just lost a date with one of the hottest girls I've ever talked to because she invited me over at like 1am after her night out, she was super into it, flirty texts, tons of tension, but I couldn't go, the next morning the vibe between us was killed stone dead and she flaked on our originally planned date a few days later

If you're scared just go out at night to different venues instead of approaching girls on the street, it's socially acceptable to talk to new people when they're out a night Especially clubs where you have anonymity because you're in a crowd of hundreds of people who are all mixing together and talking to each other I don't really like the idea of 'daygame' where you mass approach girls on the street either tbh. It just seems inherently predatory and creepy. And it is socially unacceptable unless you have reasonably good social skills. If you are gonna do it then start with just having small talk with girls during the day. Cashiers are a good starting point You can tell in the first 10 seconds she's extremely uncomfortable. She also indirectly tells him to fuck off twice "I didn't mean you could sit there" "Can I sit there? [5 second pause] Uhm.... I don't know". If you can't see that then hate to break it to you but you'e the one with zero social skills It isn't in girls best interest to directly tell creepy guys to fuck off because creepy guys will do unpredictable things if girls annoy them. Imagine being approached by a 6ft7 jacked dude who speaks slowly, says weird things to you, creepily smiles at you and gets uncomfortably close. I suspect you would not be so keen to directly tell him to fuck off or annoy him, especially if you were alone or in a quiet place. You would be more likely to politely hint that he leaves or find a way to exit the situation Someone also said the girl is 18. It's hardly surprising that she's a bit awkward and unsure of how to process the situation. Giver her a break, come on.

Apart from you know, filming them too. And uploading the footage without consent. And hunting them on his bike. And doing it badly. And being forceful. You add all that together and you can see why he got in trouble If you go to a club and talk to women without being ridiculously over the top or creepy or forceful you are never going to have this problem This is just fear porn, it makes you feel good to watch this because it allows you to point at society for having problems instead of accepting that you have any control over this matter

Insta maybe, not snapchat. Snapchat literally exists to chat, more so than it being a social media app. You don't understand, everyone my age talks over snapchat here, not text. The closest thing to text is WhatsApp but I'd only use that if the girl didn't have snap for some reason. Most of the American girls I've met online or while travelling all talk over snap a bunch as well so I'm pretty sure this is not just a UK thing I don't use Instagram, but I can see what you mean about just becoming a follower there Regardless, if a girl is attracted to you she'll talk to you over whatever means you give her, but asking for a phone number in this age range where I live would be received as socially uncalibrated unless there was a good reason not to use a chat app

Scotland, and I'm 22. If a girl was my age or younger I would only ask for phone number if we shared zero other social media. Snap is my preferred one because you can flirt way easier If you're a millennial then you guys all use phone numbers + texting and that's fine, if you're a lowly Gen Z you adapt the pickup advice for phone numbers to socials because no one our age uses fucking texting unless they're talking to their parents lol

Kids sort of go through these stages when they grow up, it just so happens our society is good at accelerating people through the lower stages since we've transcended them Like look how cruel kids can be with bullying, tribalism etc. that's all pretty much pure red and purple School itself is the epitome of blue, too There are remnants of these older stages in our society that give most people a baseline of beige,purple,red,blue that allows them to build a reasonable foundation for orange/green by the time they're in their mid/late teens So yea you can kind of get by without explicitly looking into the parts of yourself associated with these earlier stages since your society has already given you a solid-ish base in them. It could also have fucked up your sense of red if you were badly bullied for example, and that requires work to fix

Where I live in my age range 95% of communication happens on Snapchat, FB messenger and Insta. Maybe WhatsApp if you don't share one of the previous social apps If I asked a girl in my age range for a phone number instead of socials (usually snap) she'd look at me like a bit of a weirdo

Yea you sure sound happy

@Jed Haldir Maybe wait til work nights out if your company does that. That'll give you an opportunity to interact in a little bit more of a relaxed environment But honestly sounds like you're very invested in this one girl at work and that could go south pretty quick

Social circle isn't really a numbers game so you're already thinking of it the wrong way What do you mean by social circle anyway? If your social circle has 3 girls in it then applying a success rate metric to that is kind of silly. Maybe you can build a decent relationship with one of them but honestly applying all the statistical numbers game stuff is just toxic in that situation If you mean going out with friends in your social circle and meeting new girls while you're out then that's basically cold approach

Alcohol is processed differently in some people's bodies if you have only a little bit of it I believe. That means if you have a small amount, say a single beer or cider, it can make you feel extremely tired and lethargic but once you've had three or four you get back to the positive effects of alcohol As is recommended you should prob learn to socialise sober but if you're super up-tight or anxious alcohol is a good way to get yourself in the mood for going out and just not giving a fuck. It also helps you not feel like a weird outsider who isn't drinking. I live in a pretty drinking-heavy culture so going out sober requires that extra bit of not giving a fuck that I don't have yet. Although some of the other substances recommended here are quite appealing, Phenibut seems to have some amazing effects for socialising so I'm tempted to give that a try. And I've never taken Modafinil but I've heard it's just like better coffee so I'm also drawn to that

You can pay someone to come up with styles that fit your body. Like a style consultant. I'd imagine the price varies per location but there's one near me that charges I think around £150 for a set of style recommendations tailored exactly to your body type and preferences. For a little bit extra they even go and buy you some new outfits. I'd have a look into that option, but make sure they have some decent credentials. Like £150 (~$200) and you could potentially get some style advice and recommendations that pay dividends for the rest of your life. I haven't done this yet but I'm considering it

Stop pretending you were the victim, you were seen as a creepy fuck. If you were not interpreted as a creepy fuck then you would not have been reported. It doesn't matter whether you actually are a creepy fuck or not, the point is you were unequivocally interpreted as a creepy fuck. There is ample evidence of that One of the most common defense mechanisms girls have for creeps is to just pretend they're not creeped out or act normal until you leave and then report you. Why? Because confronting someone who says creepy, uncalibrated shit is potentially really dangerous for girls. Even I've kind of just awkwardly gone along with weird dude's conversation topics before until they leave because you have no fucking clue what they'll do if you piss them off by leaving or telling them they're being weird to their face

This isn't an issue that anyone other than you seems to face. I'd put my money on you not being able to accurately recognise whether people are actually engaged or creeped out, but hey, I don't know you or where you stay so I can't really say. That's just my initial impression

It will be fine. 99% of these cases happen when the dude is totally unaware when he's been rejected and he persists. If that's not you then you don't need to worry

Jesus christ this is not the message to take. This shit doesn't happen in the real world unless you are like ultra creepy and persistent In most cases I would bet this stuff happens after dudes get clear "not interested" signals and then keep touching the girl, which is definitely approaching sexual harassment. If you can notice those signals and you're not totally fucked socially then you're not gonna have any legal troubles

I'm pretty sure it's not that complex. Guys get attracted to excitement the same way girls do, and bitchiness and being a dick creates a hell of a lot of tension, fun and excitement that humbleness and niceness doesn't Ideally you learn to create such tension without being bitchy or a dick, which requires a certain amount of skill, especially for guys

A unique strategy indeed

Just like 'bank' can mean place you get money, or the side of a river, depending on context Many words have multiple meanings and you use the context to work out the meaning Youth is usually valued more in girls so the term just kind of gets interchangeably used. If anything I bet it's actually women who enjoy being called girls The equivalent word for men is 'guys' as it can be used to basically mean a male of any age. Should we stop using the world 'guys' because it's too ambiguous? I could be talking about 12 year old boys when I say guys, if you ignore context It's the same issue more or less

Careful, this can be your own form of ego. People who don't socialise that much tend to build up this idea that all the normal people who socialise are beneath them Source: Did this for many years and know several others who did it too The people at clubs are not any different from the people in everyday life, really. It's the context that's different

Yea, the smooth talkers and the good lookers succeed. But your average dude who is capable of socialising, has a social circle, goes out tons, will get action by sheer numbers of girls he ends up interacting with naturally. It only takes one girl to find him attractive and there you go. Most guys in college/uni end up getting action and that all happens through these kinds of venues that are jam packed with people 7 days a week. The problem is that there are an increasingly large number of dudes who do not meet this basic social skill requirement. The solution is not telling them to stop socialising with girls and wait for the one to come along. It's the exact opposite. They need as much exposure as they can stomach. Normal girls hang out at these venues. Like 90% of the population enjoys a party. Everyone at these venues is there to get drunk and have fun. They go there to meet new people. Dance. Drink. Socialise. If you have even basic social skills you can go to these places, talk and dance with strangers. Clubs are especially good for this because everyone blends into one big mess of people

Basically there is no right answer but you do still want good money psychology. For example it is very easy to spend more and more each month until you are pushing the limits of what you can afford. This is the typical human approach towards money And with readily available credit cards with a high limit this can be very dangerous

I was referring to you saying that he should lower his standards to 1s, 2s, and 3s because of his appearance

Read what I wrote, I didn't attack you. I just told you to stop talking like an incel. The incel mindset of 'looks are all that matter' is really toxic to anyone who wants to improve themselves with girls You told this dude that if he isn't physically attractive enough he should lower his standards to 1,2,3 out of 10 girls which is ridiculous