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Just do that material stuff while you're young and you can Figuratively, you want to be the rich person who understands that money can't make them happy rather than the poor person coping with the fact they don't have money by saying money can't make you happy Replace money with most material pursuits you desire and this still works

Depending on what media you consume, it's not all bad. For example if you watch a whole bunch of YouTube or social media you can end up being exposed to a lot of new ideas Although this is less the case now because these algorithms are designed to feed you more and more of the same They also help you keep up to date with current trends Back when I was 15-16 (6-7 years ago) YT + video games ended up being the motivation for me to learn programming and now I work as a software engineer. Between aged 15-18 almost all the code I wrote was mods for video games that me and my virtual friends played. Frankly these were some of the best years of my life thus far and I gained many invaluable lessons from these years, yet they felt like pure fun Having said that, such a path at my current age would likely just be time wasted. It's tricky to balance

Yes. Don't pester women going about their day in environments that aren't normally that sociable like a street or a mall At least don't make a habit of it, do it if you're out naturally and see a girl you find attractive If you wanna spam approach girls go to a club, it's basically why they exist

Note that I said no such thing. I simply suggested that you could if you wish and may be happier as a result Speak to many traditional, conservative old people and they will often tell you that they regret how rigid they were in earlier life and wished they'd explored more before settling down in like their early twenties. That is essentially them regretting not developing to a more orangey lifestyle when they were younger. I'm pretty sure the two bits of advice I've had from most of the older generation I know is 'go explore the world' and 'dont settle down too early' Uhm. There can be. If you're a pedophile that's an incredibly toxic preference I know what you mean, but if you have unhealthy preferences it can be very toxic for you and those around you Marriage is a dying concept. I have no plans of getting married. Why the fuck do I need the government in my relationship? I'll settle down with someone I love but I'm not getting married, I find the whole idea of marriage dumb as shit, especially if you're a dude If you actually love the person you are with you can make it work without involving the government. Problem is if your partner is chosen for you or you settle down early there's a very very high chance that you aren't suited and thus you need the government to introduce barriers to prevent you from separating. Pickup exists to allow men to sort through partners until they find one they truly match with. Women don't really need pickup for this, they just need to explore and find the best man they can

Get that stick out of your ass

What is it about loud music settings you don't like? If you really hate these then your other options are to make some friends, go do activities you enjoy, meet girls that way If you can't go to busy sociable places and you can't build a social circle then yea celibacy is probably your only option lol. But I'd recommend you instead try pushing your comfort zones and see what happens You sound a little bit like you have the "I'm above partying and socialising" attitude that I used to have when I was in high school to justify myself being kind of a loner. Holy fuck I'm glad I got over that

The part about your argument that I find weird is that you're dead set on the stage blue ideal while acknowledging that there are stages above, or other perspectives that are generally more developed Are you planning on creating the perfect stage blue life? Sure, by all means try to do that. But you're acknowledging that there are perhaps better ways to live and rather than trying to develop towards those you are digging your heels in the mud with family values ideology. And that heel-digging goes against what most people in this forum are here for which is development I refuse to accept that there are not orange, green and yellow people or relationships in India. Why not construct such a relationship? It sounds like the girl you're with is certainly beyond blue, why not rise with her? Or why not move to a country where such a thing is more mainstream? That is the advice you will receive here because this is a forum about development! Or you can stick your heels in the mud at blue if that's where you feel like you should be. Of course there's nothing wrong with it, you can live your life however you please. But why not aspire to further development?

I think this is a good exercise. I struggle with eye contact sometimes and doing this has helped a lot

It also fucks over hospitality venues financially as well. I live in Scotland in the UK and Scotland decided to close nightclubs and sports events for the past three weeks while England did not, so it's been a good test of how impactful closing nightclubs is as almost everything else about our cultures is very similar In the past three weeks there has been almost no difference at all in covid rates between Scotland and England, which suggests that closing these venues has had little effect at all If you close nightclubs people will just go to big house parties instead where you can't even enforce vaccine passports to get in

Yea it's really cool to see some real life Leo But I'm also jealous because all our nightclubs here have been shut again

Pretty much universally out of insecurity Look at huge male celebrities or other high value men, do you think they give a single fuck about whether the 10/10 model they're sleeping with or dating has slept with 20+ other dudes? No because they've slept with more girls You only have to try and control your girls' sexuality if you feel like you're inadequate for her

I know that's what you were doing, thank you I'm just particularly bitter about this topic hahaha

Or I could have more friends and far better social skills Like 90%+ of people who party in uni don't end up addicted to anything or ruining their lives, they have a great time, make friends and let loose Also who takes opiates at a party? Is that a thing anywhere? It's mostly coke + weed I see and neither appeal to me at all really

Not taking advantage of any social opportunities in university/college I spent ~3 years of it in a mediocre relationship doing nothing socially, and the remaining year was fucked up by covid I ended up leaving having not connected with a single new person at uni in 4 years. Don't be like me

I'm sure there are some valid points here but capitalising every word makes my brain immediately not want to read any of this fyi I struggle to imagine how fapping twice a month can hurt your mental health, but hey, each to their own. Going from twice a month to zero is a much easier road than a lot of dudes who jerk off twice a day would have at least

I agree. I don't like calling it pickup, there are many bad connotations. Viewing it as learning to socialise, attract girls and develop your masculinity is a healthier frame. And of course a guy should absolutely have other things going on in their life besides trying to attract girls, and should not move to a city solely for picking up girls. We agree on that. My only remaining question to you then is: What is the alternative to something like pickup? Should the guys who can't attract girls just accept their fait and rot away in their own loneliness?

This is the dating section, what do you expect? The other sections don't talk about this kinda stuff, there's plenty of spirituality there What do you suggest guys do, repress and deny their sexual urges? Sit at home alone for the rest of their lives? Of course I have other things I want in life, I imagine almost every guy here does. But for many, lack of relationships and contact with girls is a huge problem that stops them from doing other things in their life

You're either a girl or you're a dude with a low sex drive Good luck doing anything productive as a guy if you don't have sex at least semi-regularly Having said that I agree that moving to a place solely for pickup is bad, you want to choose a place that has all round good qualities. Great nightlife, decent population, good prices, good people. But girls are always gonna be high on the priority list for guys

The metroplex includes the population around the city that the big city still serves. For example all the people who live 10 miles out of a city who want to go on a night out should also be included in population estimate for something like pickup since they'll all commute into the big city for it

Looking back I would actually increase my estimate to 50-60k girls in your age range, especially if your city has a university But even assuming 30k girls in your age range in an 800k city, the average dude would probably be willing to sleep with 20k of those I bet lol. And you can't even really formalise in your head how big of a number 20k is. 20k is 2.5 girls a day for every single day I've been alive. Even if you have high standards that would still work out as 1 girl for every day you've been alive if you're in your early twenties. If you're gonna do outrageous or awful day gaming then yea, you need a bigger city so you don't become known as a creep. Certainly if you stick to nightgame, 800k is plenty and if you can't get results with that by going out to clubs or bars then you should not be blaming the population of your city

800k population would be about, what, 30k girls in your age range maybe? Lol

About this I disagree. There is absolutely a relationship between these. Having social anxiety can make you extremely needy in relationships because you don't feel like you can meet new people if your current relationship ends

Oh I agree, most 100k towns would not be ideal but this town has a few things going for it like a medium sized university, as well as a much larger city very close by too. And a bit of a party culture I usually go out one or two nights a week in the 100k town since it's so easy and one night in the big 650k city The logistics of the small town are just great because you can live so close to everything. When I was looking at places there, first place I went for was an absolutely beautiful apartment for rent that literally shared a wall with a nightclub lol. Talk about perfect logistics

I feel like you should consider more than just the population of girls when choosing to move to a place Last thing you want is to have a shitty night out then have to drag yourself home to a dumpy studio apartment that you hate being in because that's all you can afford in a bigger city I live in a town with like 100k people, which is a 15min drive/train from a city with a pop of around 650k and that combined gives me plenty of girls in my age range I chose to stay in the 100k town instead of the 650k city because it's way cheaper and I was able to rent a lovely apartment which is about a 30 sec walk from all the main bars and clubs there which is basically perfect logistics Obv the larger city is better for hardcore numbers game pickup but consider other factors as well, you want to be happy where you stay

Dude ?