something_else

So are rampant horniness and sexual dissatisfaction

If you've never been in a relationship before it might be good experience to try one out and see how it goes, assuming you're young you have plenty of time to recuperate if it doesn't work out Being able to say you've spent time in a relationship helps you with girls too. A lot of girls I've met liked the fact that I'd been in a long term relationship before. A typical mid-twenties or older girl probably doesn't want to be your trial run for a first serious relationship I'm in kind of a similar situation just now actually, I've met a girl I'm considering a relationship with but I'm not sure I want to give up the freedom. I left my last relationship of 2.5 years (started when I was 17) because I had such a craving for some wild sexual experiences, and I've sort of lived that out over the last 8 months or so but I still don't feel like I've lived it out enough yet. At the same time I do like this girl. It's a tough problem

I’ve been going out partying, clubbing, just generally socialising a bunch for the past like 6-7 months I don’t really want to say I was ‘doing pickup’ because I’m not really a fan of the connotations, but I was definitely trying to get better with girls and talked to a whole bunch I enjoyed it, I don’t want to stop. Playing the field, whatever you want to call it, it’s exhilarating and it’s very different to how I’ve lived my life for the first 21 years (shy, barely socialising etc.) However I’ve now met a girl that I am kinda interested in having a relationship with. She’s cute, great in bed, quite similar in personality to me. Also quite shy in a cute way. Fun to be around. She clearly wants a relationship, not something casual But I’m not at the stage of my life where I wanna like settle down or anything. And part of me definitely feels like getting into a relationship would be an easy way to avoid the challenges and fears of socialising, I’m slightly worried that’s why I feel like I want to try one out here But I do also want some more experience in actual relationships too I suppose my big question is whether it’s disrespectful or cruel to get into a relationship with someone knowing that I am most likely gonna leave it in the future Would appreciate any comments or advice, thanks!

I was exaggerating. The point is that with that attitude I would be worried that it would attract guys who say whatever it takes to get into a girls pants They’re either manipulative, very needy or both Oh you sweet summer child I believe in love. I just don’t believe you can know that you love someone after a month. You barely even know their personality after a month, let alone whether you deeply love them This doesn’t seem healthy to me. Maybe it is cultural difference, idk. Is it expected for guys in India profess love after a few dates? Jeez Anyway, I don’t really wanna take this too far off topic. I’m not gonna tell this girl I love her

I can’t even imagine having that attitude. I’m assuming it’s a cultural difference Where I live that would attract you only the neediest of needy men or total psychopaths who’d say anything to get in your pants

Each to their own I know for certain if I told her I loved her now she’d run for the hills, and vice versa. It’s more of an interest and curiosity in each other that merits some exploring Humans escalate things over time. We don’t like things to go from 0 - 100 super quick. That’s too much change for us to handle

Yea, I think that is unfortunately the case. My gut instinct is to see how it goes for a bit rather than making a decision now. I’m certainly enjoying it for the time being. If she gets very serious then I think it would be immoral of me not to break it off, though Meh, I was in quite a long relationship (for my age anyway) for about 2.5 years and I found the whole process quite natural. Where I really struggle is meeting new people, that’s as far as can be for natural to me and so it feels like I should practice that more Thank you for the advice, it’s nice to know this is a common issue Lol I met her a month ago, let’s hit the breaks on the love talk for now

Just because a relationship lasts a long time doesn’t mean it’s a good relationship I think when you’re young you should experiment a lot so you know what you want out of a serious relationship

For some people it just comes natural For others the only way to detach really is to build up a sense of abundance. If you feel like you’re only meeting women you’re attracted to rarely, you’re gonna get super needy when you do meet them There isn’t really a quick solution to this, it just kinda comes with experience and with talking to lots and lots of girls

I think in clubs simple is better. There’s a good chance the girl won’t hear you first time and it gets super awkward to repeat complicated openers a few times I don’t think the actual content of the opener matters as much as your energy when you deliver it I’d pick something simple and just try it over and over. Or you could open with the thing about the girl that stands out to you the most. Observe whatever it is that stands out about her and point it out with high energy

Dude get a grip, you sound toxic af

How does the women know whether the man she is talking to is safe or not? She has no idea how he will respond to rejection. In many circumstances the women knows nothing about the man and is not going to risk her safety in the name of being honest to some dude she barely knows Yea in a perfect world a women wouldn't need to play games like that but we don't live in anything near a perfect world lol

You could do a sample of your average millennial and younger population and find roughly the same thing. About half of all people under the age of 35 will probably report struggling with some kind of mental illness at some point in their life. Might even be higher I don't think this forum necessarily attracts a higher percentage of people who struggle with mental health

In a sense you are right, us men can't really understand why women feel like this because frankly we love being objectified by women right from the get go, it doesn't bother us The die hard feminist idea that men are constantly objectifying women and that is toxic and evil and so on, is dumb. I have a feeling that is what you don't like and you are probably right to feel that way But honestly I don't think this is as big of an issue as you make it out to be. Many girls like being objectified... by a guy that's playful, fun, attractive and set up a situation where the girl feels safe. Once you've reached that stage, nothing turns a girl on more than you using her like your dirty little sex object who exists purely to satisfy your deepest dirtiest desires for the night. Then cuddling up with her afterwards. The problems occur when you are treating her like a subhuman item that exists purely to satisfy your desires right from the get go without any build up. Women interpret this as creepiness because they know what you want, and they know that you don't care for their wellbeing at all. You only care about your own desires and not what she wants. You're selfish and you offer her nothing. That is the kind of objectification women are repelled by You're basically seen as spoilt child who just wants sex without giving the girl anything in return

6'4 But I'm also quite lanky. Being tall is nice, especially in a busy environment like a club, it functions like a fancy shirt that gets you noticed. But it doesn't get you approached by girls. At least not girls I also find attractive. If I go to a club for a night I'll usually get 1 or 2 girls come up and point out my height, but it's usually one of two archetypes of girl who approach me for it: questionably attractive gothy girls looking for a tall skinny guy, or extremely tall girls. Neither of these I'm into, really. They tend to have very masculine personalities on top of that if they approach you too Closest I've had to a hot girl approach me was a girl's friend come up and say her friend thought I was cute, her friend was a hot American girl, but then I went and talked to her friend and she was clearly not into me. I'm not really sure what happened there. I suspect my personality didn't cut it Long story short, waiting for girls to approach you is a terrible strategy

I can't remember where I read this, it might have been something Leo said: "Women don't want looks, women want a man" If you look good you have a significant advantage but you can totally nullify that by not having masculine personality qualities like the confidence to go and talk to a girl I also look pretty good, and I'm very tall too, but it's very rare I'd get approached. It's happened a few times and it's usually been girls I'm not that into, it usually tends to be quite masculine girls

I'm pretty sure this kind of thinking is why the solipsism video was taken down lol

Grass is always greener

I mean everyone has celeb crushes. But it’s quite disrespectful to rub it in your significant others face like that I remember me and my ex used to joke about what celebs we each found attractive, but it was done in a tongue and cheek humorous way and it was mutual

Oh yea totally agree. That’s pure scumbaggery. If you know the other person wants more and you don’t but you keep seeing them that’s pure manipulation Being direct about just wanting sex isn’t bad as long as you’re not a total asshat about it either. But it’s kind of a bad strategy for guys and a very risky strategy for girls. It’s more fun for everyone if you’re a bit more playful and flirty about it

I actually can’t understand this. It’s totally not a criticism, it just feels so totally alien to how I (and I suspect many men) experience sexuality that I struggle to even empathise with it like I wish I could

Nah I'm a dude. No one is making you, and you certainly don't have to, but it's nice to do things for others sometimes. The picture I get here is that these ladies feel left out since I'm assuming there aren't that many men their own age there. It's good to try and include everyone in these kinds of activities if you can. You wouldn't want to feel left out either

Why can't you just split it and sometimes dance with girls your age and sometimes the older women? If they make up 10% of the scene then 1 in every 10 times dance with one of the older women. I bet if girls your age see you having a great time laughing and dancing with the older women they'll want to dance with you even more Yea no one is altruistic when it comes to their dating lives, but this isn't dating. This is salsa dancing

Some people are born to be in the military. It's what they want to do, they get a huge kick out of everything about it. And some people are not really like that, but they have a massive sense of national pride motivating them. Those are the two types of soldiers who win wars. If neither of those describe you, don't join the military if you can avoid it. Let those two classes of people join the army, while you do your own thing with your life. They will be better soldiers than you will ever be If you're not one of those people then you're just likely to die pointlessly in a war you don't really care about, forced to hurt and kill people you don't want to hurt or kill

Trust me dude, height on dating apps is not like some magical key. Facial appearance, coolness and lifestyle are way more important there Yea it’s nice to be able to put 6ft+ and it helps but if you’re 6ft+ with a crappy profile it isn’t gonna save you