something_else

Yea, I do agree that deciding to move on if sex hasn't happened after one date is definitely a bit much. I would say if it hasn't happened after two dates, that's when I'd start to seriously consider moving on. If she can't work out whether she wants to have sex by the second date, we're probably not going to be compatible. I want to go for girls who are immediately very attracted to me after just one or two dates, I want the attraction to be raw, pure, obvious and passionate. If it's taking her three or more dates to get attracted, then IMO the attraction is not strong enough and I'd feel like I'm wasting both our time by pursuing it any further I know that girls who connect with me quickly like that are out there, so I go looking for them instead of girls who can't make their mind up about me I think this is the essence of what @Knowledge Hoarder was getting at

You can research good places in your city online. Or even just walk through your city on a Friday and Saturday night and see which places are busy, filled with people in your age range Or, you can use my strategy, tell her: "let's meetup and walk about till we find somewhere for a drink" You could then have somewhere in mind and walk her there, or just actually explore the city together and look for a place that you both like The other plus side of this is that there's usually less tension when you walk and talk than when you sit across a table from each other, so walking a bit is a nice way to start a date

I agree with you, but your thinking is too black and white. You're talking like there are only two options: mechanical sex or intimate sex. Why not just get good at both? That's what good sex is, the blending of two people's psyche and bodies into one. There is a mental and a physical component and you need both

Follow the "show don't tell" rule: don't tell her she's pretty, show that you're attracted to her with your body language and tone. Think about it, would you rather a girl just told you that she thought you were cute, or would you rather see her dialed pupils staring lustfully at you, her leaning in close to you across the table, playing with her hair, giggling at everything you say? What creates a stronger emotional response in you? Or compliment something unique about her that she won't get a lot of compliments about. People love compliments about things they've worked hard on but they feel don't get appreciated Or you be playfully super sexually direct with your compliments Those are some options, but I think generic compliments often come across quite inauthentic and boring

I think the point being made was that if a man values sex highly, then he doesn't want a girl who's going to use sex as a tool, withhold it, and play games around it. If I were going on dates with a girl and she didn't want to have sex after three dates I know we're not compatible based upon that alone, I want her to be burning with the desire to fuck me and it shouldn't take more than a date or two at most for that chemistry to be built It isn't wrong or disgusting for men to value and prioritise sex when dating

I’ve had my fair share of sexual experiences Purely mechanical sex can still be stimulating, but emotional, lovey-dovey sex without good mechanics is always awful It doesn’t matter how much you love a girl, if you cum in 15 seconds, or don’t hit the right spots, the sex isn’t gonna be good

As I said, there’s a mechanical and emotional component to sex Good sex needs both

I mean ideally it’s both, there’s a mechanical and an emotional component to good sex

Good. Drop that shit, you are worth way more than that just by being on a forum like this

Kind of, the idea of an influencer is very narcissistic and it’s what a surprisingly large number of kids aspire to now But I actually don’t think that’s a bad thing. Aspiring to be someone who provides value to others isn’t bad, but a lot of influencers really just want cold hard cash And they’re often willing to convert your self esteem into said cold hard cash

Findom is like one of the most degenerate communities there is, I hope you’re not actually paying girls money for nothing

Apparently the deal is now on hold pending twitter lying about user counts

Is it? I’d disagree, but that’s my preference Most porn is designed to be addicting, it’s mass appealing, it’s what most dudes want to see. But the average dude is prob like a 35-40 year old, so most mainstream porn is designed for that demographic Younger people will find that inauthentic and fake and search for amateur instead Some mainstream porn is really good, but generally I’d say most younger audiences go for slightly more amateurish content, hence the popularity of OnlyFans

It sounds like you have a lot of very chaotic thoughts Three things I noticed: You look like a fairly young guy, and many of the things you have tried are not quick fixes. They take time to work. Often years. You've tried a lot of different things. It's usually better to focus deep on one or two things that are most important to you for several years, rather than jumping around. You clearly want to be better with girls, I'd start with that. Talk to tons of girls Spirituality isn't so great for curing insecurity on its own, you will probably need to cure that with more traditional means before you start spitirual work The best antidote to insecurity from being bullied by other dudes is surrounding yourself with dudes stronger (physically and mentally) than the ones that bullied you and seeing how they live their life. This is one way to develop masculinity. Something like martial arts or any kind of beginner friendly sport is great for that In school, I was pathetic, introverted, kinda lonely, bullied, etc. but I feel much more confident in myself now The three things that helped me most: Moving into my own place Going out every weekend and hardcore socialising BJJ (Braziliian Jiu Jitsu)

Oh my sweet summer child Seriously, get off dating apps. They will crumble your self-esteem as you fight and struggle for scraps of low-quality women You could prob get yourself a decent profile that gets you some matches, but it will take a lot of work that's better spent in the real world If you want honest feedback on your profile, go to r/tinder and post your profile in the weekly review. Or put your pics on photofeeler

hypnogram.xyz is another one of these. It often even understands pop-culture references, lol

My man, you're overcomplicating things. Go outside, talk to girls, and stop thinking about weird or obscure stuff relating to attracting girls. You're being too theoretical, practice is king

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure your body continually produces semen regardless of whether or not you ejaculate? So surely it makes no difference to energy levels?

No one hates you for no reason. The default stance most people take when meeting new people is to like them You have to do something to make people hate you Being socially awkward isn't usually enough to make people hate you, but your anxiety/insecurity convinces you it is "I hate me, so of course they hate me" I have a similar loop of thinking and it's very annoying. A few practical things that helped me realise how bullshit that thinking is: Going to the same social places everyday: coffee shop is a great example. I'm socially awkward as fuck sometimes, so I've done plenty of weird things when small talking with the people at the local coffee shop. But I'm a regular, I go every day, and they are all still super nice to me. They even asked me to write a note in a card for one of their staff members when they were leaving, which shocked me because I was dead certain they thought I was a creepy weirdo who they had to put up with coming to work in their coffee shop and pretend to be nice to. And then I was convinced the note I wrote would be weird, and they'd hate me for it. And they were still lovely to me. The hatred was in my head Going to some kind of sport with lots of people regularly. In my case, jiu-jitsu. Every time I trained with someone, I was convinced they hated me if they weren't super nice to me. Again, I'm awkward as fuck and I'm not really a typical sporty athlete so I don't fit in there. But again just by sheer chance of being there enough, I've met several people who are super friendly towards me for no reason other than we've been in close proximity. Even though I was super awkward I think the main thing for you to realise is that being introverted, shy and awkward does not make people hate you. It won't make people like you, but it won't make them hate you either

This mindset summarises why I think the whole idea of a pickup coach is kind of stupid What is the difference between someone who’s advanced or intermediate? What does that even mean in this context? It’s wasted time to even think about Find a few holistic sources of dating/attraction info and learn the basics then go all in on practice instead of fawning over coaches The theory isn’t that hard at all. You don’t need a course, or tons of videos, or an online coach to learn it The biggest challenges for me have been getting into a good mental state and overcoming fear. Theory doesn’t help with either of those

I think it might be a good thing. I would actually argue that providing high quality sourcing is harm reduction. If someone wants to try psychedelics badly enough, they'll find them somehow. But the easiest ways to find psychedelics are from super sketchy sources that could end up harming the individual in some way One other protective measure could be that you need at least 100 posts or to have been a member for a certain amount of time to have access to the sourcing/psychedelics section

I don’t think that makes sense, hive mind is by definition the entire community. It isn’t really controlled by a select group of mods, kind of by definition And generously, 50% of the people on any given subreddit are not the kind of people you want to have any say in how things are run lol

I think I’ll go with very simple casual-ish clothes then, nothing flashy The bouncers are supposed to be assholes so I don’t wanna push it too much

This is kind of an a abstract question and more me just rambling at 3am But anyway, there’s a club I want to go to in my city, it’s one of the most popular, usually a very long queue It has a very trendy, cool-kid vibe. I usually go to relaxed clubs that are basically a melting pot of everyone, mainly students (I’m recently graduated), so this one is a little bit different I can’t shake the idea that it’s filled with the type of cool kids who I felt inferior to in school But I know that the reality is I’m so much more socially capable than I was in school now, and I’m as physically attractive as any of them. I’m also doing really well in terms of career now too There’s no logical reason for me to be scared of the place, yet somehow I really really am I feel like they’ll immediately spot me as an imposter I feel like if I wear the clothes they wear then I won’t pull them off, and if I wear my own clothes then I’ll stand out for not fitting in One thing is that I still don’t have my fashion down as much as I’d like and that seems to be a big deal for these kinds of places. I think that’s a big part of the fear I suppose I’m asking if this experience resonates with anyone? And if you have any advice for getting over it? I think fundamentally it’s rooted in some trauma of being kind of a ‘do my own thing’ person in school and never really fitting in Anyway, I’m going to the place this Friday, assuming I don’t get kicked back by the bouncers, appreciate any advice

Do you feel guilty? There’s absolutely no reason to feel guilt about it, it’s a natural thing But yea, if it makes you feel shitty then don’t do it. I just struggle to imagine how that can be anything but conditioned belief or guilt or something There is definitely such a thing as too much. But I can’t really tell the difference between jerking off once a day or a few times a week, energy wise