something_else

In the long run you'll probably regret not exploring more. My biggest regret is being in a relationship throughout college/uni, I missed out on a lot by taking that route Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the relationship too. But I definitely missed out

Sounds like the kind of guy you should prob not keep talking to His attitude can be explained by him getting horny and thinking with his dick, he knows you'll fuck him so when he gets horny he messages you. When he's no longer horny he loses interest until he's horny again But generally it sounds like he has absolutely no respect for you at all and you should move on

This is just the wrong mindset, I’m sorry. You shouldn’t care about a girl all that much before you even know anything about her For all you know she could be a serial killer or a complete psycho. Something about her is appealing, you’d like to get to know her better, if she doesn’t feel the same you move on. That’s the mindset Caring about her personally comes later on once you get to know her Of course you should show respect to all people at a basic level but beyond that your investment in a girl shouldn’t be too high before you get to know her better

That’s a problem. Getting rejected by a girl is even less impactful in your life than getting rejected by a job you’re applying for It means almost nothing in reality, there are so many girls out there why should you care if you get rejected a bunch?

I like clubs that have either smoking areas or areas that are quiet enough to talk Then you can either approach girls there or approach girls in the louder parts and if they seem receptive you can go to the quieter part and talk You kinda have to have good body language in the louder parts of the club and stick to super simple sentences I’ve noticed that leaning into girls too much to talk to them or putting my ear up to them to hear what they said seems to give off bad vibes, at least when I do it. Idk why. I’d be interested to know if anyone else has had that experience

The right response is probably just to laugh about it and move on That covers all your bases. If a girl is a bitch to you when she rejects you and you laugh in her face and walk away that’s a good outcome for you If a girl lets you down nicely and you laugh playfully it shows that it hasn’t bothered you If you get butthurt, sulky, or angry then there’s no way that ends well for you Basically you need to get in the frame of mind that rejection doesn’t impact your life in any way, you just keep going on doing whatever you’re doing and don’t take yourself too seriously

If you wanna become a professional programmer, web development is a good place to start IMO. The barrier to entry isn’t too high. You’d want to learn a JavaScript framework like Vue or React and a backend framework like Django (Python) or Laravel (PHP) If you just wanna learn the basics of programming from scratch and aren’t exactly sure where you wanna go with it yet then it’s very hard to go wrong with Python You can learn with pretty much any language though. And the way you properly learn programming is through hobby projects. Once you’ve got the basics down, you want to think of something cool you could program and see it through to completion. This teaches you way better than any tutorial, plus you can then put these hobby projects on a CV

I’m pretty sure just from first impressions that this is the kinda guy you take a few tips from but absolutely DO NOT set as a hardcore role model

Honestly, this sounds a bit too clingy. Don't get too invested or attached to her. There are plenty of other girls out there that you can chase who don't have boyfriends

Depends. Sometimes failure can be very liberating

That's a nice pipe dream but realistically you're going to have good and bad days. This is kind of the 'just believe in yourself' advice which isn't all that practical Talking about state and how to build it is far more practical and useful than telling people to just feel good all the time. Sometimes it helps to do things to put yourself in a good state of mind for socialising

There isn’t really a cheap trick to this, ultimately you just have to face up to it and do it. And then try to avoid being in that situation again It’s not easy man, been there. It makes you feel like a real asshole but it’s better than leading them on

I don’t think you should feel guilty about jerking off Its probably a good idea to minimise to porn a bit, just to exercise a bit of control. Maybe start with only watching porn every second day, and the rest of the time just use your imagination

It's his forum lol

People can sometimes interpret that as neediness, which can then drive them away. That is what I think people are trying to convey to you. But then when people tell you that, you claim that it's an attack on your character. It isn't an attack on your character, it's people suggesting that you could try something different which might help you get what you want out of life. This is a self-improvement forum, people are going to tell you to change your actions if you make posts here. It's the whole point. I don't think you should interpret that as an attack on your character You can't restrict yourself to only positive answers, sometimes advice doesn't feel good to hear. Especially on a male dominated forum, you're going to get very direct answers that aren't going to be sugar-coated

Aliens and UFOs are ultimately harmless things to discuss, and very thought provoking too I have no idea what the second thing you mentioned there is A lot of the pro-trump, right wing or anti-vax stuff is potentially much more harmful than talk about UFOs

I meant in terms of pissing and maintenance, I’d say that’s pretty clean cut

He censors anti-vax and pro-trump stuff. That's about the only stuff I've actually seen him censor As a counter to this: order can't be maintained if total free speech is allowed

I have a tendency to overreact when people disagree with me so sorry for that Making friends is hard as an introvert and I've by no means mastered it, so I wish you the best too All I'll say is that you shouldn't get too concerned that one friend has betrayed you like that. Everyone is gonna experience that at some point in life, I had a friend when I was a kid who went and turned all my other friends against me. Shit like that happens, try not to let it colour your experience of others too much. There are plenty of good people out there, just keep looking

I mean mechanically a penis has an advantage I suppose? But Freud was fucking crazy, and probably very misogynistic when coming up with this theory

This is all about one friendship?????? I thought you were talking about a consistent pattern of friendships of yours that all ended up in you being used. If this is all about one friendship then you're making a lot of generalisations from a single friendship You posted a thread asking for feedback and then you call the feedback criticising. Look, I just gave you my honest perspective on your situation. There is a chance that something you are doing here is causing your results. God knows I'm shit at making friends and it's almost entirely my fault It's not ruthless, it's just how friendships develop. You don't go from 0-100. You make friends by being around similar minded people and doing similar things, helping each other out in small ways, being convenient to each other, then over time you get closer and closer until it becomes something deeper. What part of that is gaslighting, wtf?

You say that like it's a good thing, but it isn't Friendship requires mutual investment, both of you need to be getting the same amount of value from the relationship or it collapses. Usually that mutual value starts out super small, just small talk and basic communication which improves each others' days. Then things escalate over time. But it sounds like you want to skip this social lubrication stage. But that creates a lot of tension and awkwardness that people don't like You're kind of like the person going about literally saying "Let's be best friends." It comes across too needy. Friendships have to develop naturally, you can't force them. You start out super chill, then maybe something deeper develops, maybe it doesn't This strikes me as quite toxic. Almost all friendships start out as friendships of convenience, then they develop from there. Yea obv if a person is taking complete advantage of you that's bad, but I severely doubt that's every single person you have had as some kind of acquaintance.

Part of me emphasises with them. A lot of the advice given to incels comes from people who are not anywhere near as physically unappealing as some incels are. If I were bottom 5% of physical appearance as a guy, I would get really fucking annoyed if people who were average looking were telling me to just get my shit together, and that it's all in my head A lot of incels are not anywhere near as bad looking as they make themselves out to be. They're just brainwashed. And for them, the typical advice still applies

Spirituality isn’t a substitute for friendship and connection with others Work on building up your social life a bit. A great first step is to fill up your weeknights with hobbies. I do chess and jiu jitsu for example Next good step is to go out partying at weekends and try to find others to go with

If I remember correctly, the slot it did best on by far was T vs F. The problem in this case was also that most of the users in the dataset were introverted intuitive because it's from an online forum, so it didn't have as many examples of extroverts to learn from. Whereas thinking vs feeling was split close to 50/50. And I'd say online the difference between thinking vs feeling is gonna be way more noticeable than introversion vs extroversion. It wasn't a perfect study by any stretch, not even close. But IMO the fact not a single statistics expert could come up with a model that did very well is still worth noting. The conclusion was basically there is only very little statistical difference between the online speech patterns of different INXX types How do you know? We taught AI to play chess and Go better than humans have learnt to play those games in thousands of years by literally just 'letting it go at it.' Took the AI 4 hours to be at a level better than any human has ever been. It doesn't need to know anything about cognitive functions, it simply needs to find patterns that all Judging users in the dataset exhibit, or all Introverted users in the dataset exhibit. Then it can identify the other Introverted users or the other Judging users who have similar patterns. This is textbook text classification problem, but it only works if there is actually a correlation between how a person writes online and their MBTI type I think bias is also an issue for you. Totally ignoring something like the Big 5 simply because you think it's too difficult/different to use is a very culty thing to do. It's extremely similar to MBTI except you have slightly different categories and it's on a percentage scale instead of there only being binary options for each slot. Personality is complex and different models are better for doing different things. If you want to make the most accurate predictions about people's actions that are rigorously verifiable by others, Big 5 is the best model we have However, it's purely statistically derived, so it lacks some of the deeper ideas and qualitative analysis that came from Jung, which cognitive functions let you make. I totally get that. They're also more fun to use and ponder. I get why you like the model. It's well designed in a lot of ways and it's 'deeper' than something like Big 5 which is harshly cold and logical MBTI also has a habit of being a bit culty, though. I was obsessed with it for years, then eventually I realised I was pulling half of the analysis I was making out of my ass, I was making very grand deductions from very little data, viewing almost everything about a person through the lense of their MBTI type and function stack. You look at posts like this on the MBTI subreddit and it's just so fucking cringe, abstract, and divorced from reality, yet I distinctly remember when I used to think and talk like this: https://www.reddit.com/r/mbti/comments/bemvod/8th_slot_ti_vs_7th_slot_ti/ Read that, and the comments. These people are just telling each other stories over and over until they all speak the same language and then pat each other on the back and call it an accurate analysis of personality. It's so culty