something_else

Brilliant

I get that it seems really obvious, but she was super into me in-person. And I've made it perfectly clear she's getting no money whatsoever from me and yet she keeps messaging me. That's what confuses me

I disagree, it stems from abundance. If you had 5 girls interested in you, you would not really fuss over the least attractive one that much, you would put minimal effort into conversations, only respond to part of their message, maybe make some vague plans but nothing concrete, forget parts of the conversation because you weren't really paying attention, forget about planned dates, all the classical flaky behaviour happens when you have a low investment in someone It's like if you have 10 recruiters offering you a job on LinkedIn. You don't really go through and reject them all, you just choose the best one and move forward with that. During the process, maybe you briefly (and with minimal effort) engage with a few others to keep them around in case the best one falls through.

Dude, you need to ground yourself. Stop believing everything you read cos some floating head on YT told you it's true. You have NO IDEA if what Leo said is true. Leo gives you some tools to investigate for yourself. But until you investigate for yourself and have your own experiences, you should not be adopting everything Leo said as gospel.

I get what you're saying, but this is really deep down just a toxic way to view long-term relationships. This kind of thinking works for building attraction, it doesn't work for creating lasting, fulfilling relationships. You should not be thinking in terms of "if she does this, I'm going to do this to show her who's boss" If someone is breaking your boundaries, you talk to them about it and assert your boundaries. If things don't change, you leave. You don't start trying to emotionally abuse/manipulate, your partner to assert dominance

It's interesting, there's definitely been an uptick in hate videos about actualized.org recently. Before the past few months, the only thing I've really seen was the rather comical rationalwiki entry. In the past two months, I've seen two channels dedicated exclusivley to actualized hate, and one channel that talks about it extensively. Maybe since doing a couple of public interviews, more people were exposed to Leo who really hate him Might also be that the clips videos can reach a wider audience. Either way, I'm pretty sure an uptick in hate videos like these is actually probably a good sign that actualized content is reaching more people.

The dude who called her out is prob closest to my stance I think she was right to call out the joke tweet, I can see why she would think it’s sexist. Joke tweets like that are fine on meme accounts etc. but they don’t really have a place on a serious journalists’ account However I think she overreacted, and it sounds like she has a habit of going after peoples livelihood as her primary weapon, which IMO is definitely bullying I also very much dislike how she responds to the fairly level headed dude who calls her out He makes valid, level headed points and she decides he’s trying to attack her, which is really over-dramatic

Because regular people don’t party? Especially in like the 18-25 age range it’s literally just normal people who go out partying, especially students. Yea, they’re gonna be a bit less serious on the whole, but they’re just normal people, many of whom want relationships too And yea, typically things start pretty casual if you meet at clubs but transitioning that into something more serious is not really out of the question

Why is this a problem?

This sounds like it’s fear based on some unpleasant experiences you’ve had my dude… This is not something most girls are gonna do

Gigs for music you like are another really good option. They have a few advantages over clubs: Already have shared interest with people there Generally more socially acceptable to go solo There’s less of a ‘trashy’ vibe that you sometimes get at clubs If you like introverted girls, you’re probably more likely to meet one here than at a club But they’re still super densely packed places with lots of girls. Disadvantages can be that they finish earlier and often cost a lot more than clubs, but still a good option to bear in mind

You realise that the girls who go to clubs are often just normal girls, right? Yea you’re gonna have a higher distribution of party girls there than in the general population but for the most part it’s just normal girls… especially in the typical student age range of 18-25

The problem is that in order to create meaningful change, you usually need to admit that you are not perfect, or that there are problems with yourself. Which is by definition what a narcissist struggles with the most

You said that complimenting girls is almost always bad, I simply disagreed with that. It has nothing to do with making a girl like you, really. The thing I was disagreeing with was having this idea in your head that you should never compliment girls. That is an unhealthy mindset to have in general. If you feel a genuine desire to compliment something specific and unique about girl, it can be powerful for making her feel good about herself, emotionally stimulating her, and building attraction.

I agree to an extent, but in most of these scenarios here what you should be doing is running the fuck away, or trying to defuse the situation No amount of dodging, weaving or training is saving you from two or three people coming at you at the same time The only time you should be fighting is if you literally cannot run, like if a guy has a solid grip on you, IMO that is the scenario you should be equipped to deal with first and foremost In that situation BJJ is a pretty well rounded toolkit of takedowns and submissions that’ll work against the majority of people who haven’t trained anything or any kind of grappling I agree prob not as effective as a combo of other martial arts, but it’ll get the job done against most people in that particular scenario, which IMO is really the main one to consider Theres also the stat that 75% of street fights go to the ground to bear in mind

Numbers/socials from girls in clubs are a nightmare, I can only think of one occasion (in about 8 months of going out most weekends) where a number/Snapchat I got at a club went somewhere. But I’ve had plenty of same night pulls Really, I think you gotta aim for same night pulls in clubs Funny you post this though, literally last night I was making out and dancing with a girl I met in a club practically the whole night, couldn’t do same night pull. She was exactly my type so I didn’t really wanna move on to the next girl like normal, I wanted to try and actually make it work Got her snap. This morning she’s just blanked my messages It’s frustrating as fuck but it just seems to be how it is

That is not a good general rule Don’t give tons of compliments and don’t give really generic compliments like “you’re so pretty”, yea, I agree on that But genuine, original compliments on things that are unique to a girl (and that attracted you to her) can be powerful I think the problem lots of guys have with compliments is that they say them to make the girl like them, they’re not really genuine For example I like girls with freckles, you better believe girls love it when they get compliments on that, but it’s something unique I’m genuinely attracted to so it comes across as authentic

He got warning points for toxic masculinity on another thread and now he’s posted roughly what I quoted above on another two threads

Google “neighbours arguing over snow” and I’m pretty sure that’ll bring it up if you look enough It was in Pennsylvania if I remember correctly If this happened in my country it would actually make me fear for my life daily

There’s a video online of a couple arguing with their neighbour in the US over shovelling snow The neighbour walks into his house, picks up a pistol, walks out and shoots both of them until they’re incapacitated, they’re still alive, he walks back into his house, picks up an AR-15, walks back out and shoots both of them dead while they’re screaming on the ground All of this happens in what seems to be a fairly normal, middle class, suburban neighbourhood Pretty much only in the US would this happen. No, it is not a safe country to live in

It doesn’t add up to you because you’re being far too logical when this is an emotional issue The money means she’s willing to take a bigger risk And it also means she’s getting value out of it. She either wants to sleep with guys she’s attracted to or she wants to make money She doesn’t want to sleep with some dude who comes across as weird and socially uncalibrated if she’s not at least getting paid for it There needs to be something in it for her

A hospital full of drunk zombies wearing party hats in my town in 1941

Re-read your earlier posts. You talk like your anecdotal experience is objective and applies to everyone. That is what irritates people.

Whoever wrote this is definitely a virgin

I agree. But culture change is very difficult to force. I hope to god the US can make it, but it does not seem likely even in the near to mid-distant future