something_else

Humans are not so simple and rigid that we are either hard or soft, masculine or feminine. We have a complex set of traits that change depending on our surroundings. The same person can be very masculine in some scenarios and very feminine in others. Part of being a balanced person is knowing in which scenarios masculine energy is most useful and in which feminine energy is most useful. People who are too masculine apply masculine energy to every situation, even where it's not appropriate, and this causes a lot of hurt for them. Same for femininity. Balanced people know when to be masculine and when to be feminine. They aren't mutually exclusive traits. All the shitty manosphere role models talk and think in this binary way, whereby you must be masculine or you are a pussy bitch. And that should tell you something about them. It is pure fragility of ego. Healthy male role models have a balance of masculinity and femininity, because a balance is what you are aiming for in most of life. You're not aiming to become hyper-masculine at the expense of femininity.

It's not being 'too feminine' that's the issue for most men, it's a lack of healthy masculinity. It's an important difference. Masculinity and femininity are not on a spectrum whereby the more feminine you become, the less masculine you are. Having feminine traits can actually get you laid like crazy btw. Some of the sensitive guys I've met are fucking animals because they know how to connect with women so well.

I mean the first one that comes to mind for me is that most women can't safely walk around on their own in many places after dark. In general sexual assault is a massive problem women face. They're also taken less seriously in most business/work contexts. Much of the effort of household labour is also placed upon them, even when they're working full time. There are plenty more, but it can be summarised quite nicely as: Women are viewed as precious objects, while men are viewed as disposable agents. Men enjoy the privileges of agency and women enjoy the privileges of being seen as valuable by default. But men also suffer from being treated as disposable unless they prove their worth, and women suffer from being treated almost as though they are children, with no independent thought or competency. Neither side is very aware of the drawbacks the other faces, they only see what the other gender has that they don't. This is the dynamic that causes almost all gender wars.

You're painting a very rosy picture of what life is like for women, but they have their own set of challenges that you aren't super aware of. The grass always looks greener on the other side.

I'd say go for it. Life is too short to worry about stuff like this. If it sucks and you hate it you can always move back, but if you never move you may regret it for the rest of your life.

If you trauma dump on someone that's obviously not attractive, but it doesn't mean you're not allowed to be vulnerable as a guy. Showing a certain amount of humanity can be wildly attractive. Most women know that showing vulnerability is often stigmatised for guys, so if you find an elegant way to do it then it can come off as extremely confident. Talking about struggles with social anxiety and how I overcame it is weirdly one of the things that has worked really well for me, which goes against most traditional pickup advice. --- I'm not really sure what to make of the lady in the post, I get the sense she's twisting the truth a little for the sake of the story. It's hard to tell. I'm also not even really sure what her point is to be honest. It feels like she's trying to make a broader point about men in order to shift any responsibility off herself, but can't work out exactly what that point is. Her point about guys not asking questions is not a gendered thing. I've got plenty of experience of women doing the same. Some people just don't really ask questions, it annoys me too and so I agree with her on that point. I also know that there are plenty of guys who do ask questions on dates, so if she's not finding them I'm inclined to believe she has to take some of the blame for that.

It is kinda needy in a sense, but you need to reframe it in your mind. You're not moving somewhere to get laid, you're moving somewhere with better prospects to build an amazing life for yourself.

Just watch his most popular videos on YT. They’re all veryyyy manipulative and very subtly but potently pushing you towards giving him money. I don’t doubt he makes some good points, but overall I very much agree with you about Owen. Idk about the other RSD dudes as I haven’t seen any

Be sociable, be interesting, don't be too much of an asshole, don't be too nice/meek, learn to escalate from friendly talk to flirting.

I had a cool experience in a recent trip where it felt like I could acutely experience masculine versus feminine energy inside me through tensing muscles vs relaxing muscles. If you tense all of your muscles as hard as you can right now, that's a fundamental expression of masculine energy. If you totally relax your muscles as much as you can, that's a fundamental expression of feminine energy. This also applies to focusing mind vs relaxing mind. You can transfer this to spirituality as well. Masculine forms of meditation usually involve focusing hard + contemplating while feminine forms of meditation are more about totally relaxing your mind and letting it wander. Neither is better than the other, they're just different approaches. I think the most fundamental insight here was something like "masculine = spending energy, feminine = conserving energy". I don't know if conserving is the right word exactly, but hopefully it's clear what I'm getting at.

I put 100-1000 because that’s probably how many women I’ve talked to with some flirty intent. But most of them weren’t really cold approaches. Mostly it was random girls I kinda just bumped into and started chatting to while in sociable places. Idk if that counts as a cold approach

Everywhere has pros and cons, but ultimately any big European city will have pretty good options for dating and partying. For example, Scandinavian countries have exceptionally pretty people but they’re also much more introverted on the whole and don’t tend to mingle as much as other countries. That can make it really hard to make friends or flirt with people. They’re also really expensive. I was in Germany recently and I really loved the vibe there, I found it pretty easy to meet people too, so I guess if I had to recommend a country I’d say that.

I’ve had a few weeks here or there where I’ve partied a fair bit, maybe almost every night. But it’s pretty hard on your sleep pattern and on your body in general. It’s better just to make some friends and go out at the weekends to have fun with them and then maybe the occasional weeknight

What's Pure Dance?

What is the all important question? What is the difference?

Most guys have experienced that showing too much interest in a girl will push her away as well. I don't necessarily think this is a gendered thing. In general I think if the amount each partner likes the other is not pretty equal, it's likely to be a problem, male or female.

I built my social skills in the smoking areas of clubs talking to basically anyone who seemed remotely unique or interesting. If you want to build social skills you need to find places where mingling is acceptable and you can talk to new people easily. It kinda helps if people are drinking because they’ll be less judgemental of your social quirks.

Almost anywhere in Europe. To be honest I think daygame is often pretty scummy the way a lot of PUAs practice it anyway. I prefer nightlife and the US nightlife is extremely expensive, and on average, not that great for how much you pay compared to most of Europe. The US govt is also shipping off non-white immigrants to Guantanamo. It’s meant to be just illegal ones, but from what I’ve heard plenty of legal immigrants are getting caught up in it too. I guess it’s hearsay, but overall the amount of awful things that are happening politically in the US right now make it seem like somewhere you don’t want to be as a non-American, especially if you’re not white. It’s worsened if you’re doing anything that makes you seem sketchy, and spam approaching women on high streets certainly does that. Funnily enough, I’m literally writing this from an airport in the UK waiting on a flight to the US, I’m kinda curious to see what the vibe is like there right now. Maybe it’s not as bad as world news makes it out to be

It seems the rules are changing. If you’re not rich, white, or American you’re going to be treated like a second class citizen (or worse) by the government Not to mention a minor injury could already bankrupt you under the previous government even if you were moderately well off. That’s only going to get worse. It seems the US isn’t a great place to be right now if you’re not already rich

Why America? Especially right now, it does not seem like a place you want to be emigrating to for a variety of reasons Chatting up tons of women in malls has the potential to get you into legal trouble, and getting into legal trouble as a foreigner right now is really risky

Sounds like a great place to visit

I think it's probably a pretty bad buy. It has a fundamental problem in terms of management and PR which is Elon Musk, and I doubt he's going away any time soon

Bro you are utterly miserable to listen to. If you are like this in real life you must kill the mood of every room you enter. I’m not surprised you have trouble finding a woman Like 99% of women are not looking to date serial killers. If you go to your local grocery store and look at couples there, not a single one of the dudes is going to be a serial killer and hardly any are going to be career criminals or whatever other kind of guy you think woman are looking for. You’re generalising from a few examples and applying the conclusion to all women Idk where your obsession with this comes from, it’s fucking weird and irritating to listen to because it’s such a blatantly stupid take This might cross the boundaries of what’s allowed on this forum but you are being truly idiotic, I’m sorry

Given that I used to be (and still am) very shy sometimes, I can tell you that's not the case. There's a significant difference in how most women will treat an attractive looking shy guy versus how they'll treat an average shy guy. An average shy guy is essentially invisible. Yes and no. Good looking people are more confident but that doesn't mean that looks aren't playing an important part either. Good looking people are more confident because they see how much of an advantage they have from being good looking. You see how people respond positively to your good looks, which makes you more confident. Yea, fair enough. I'm not denying confidence and personality are very important. They definitely are. But looks, on the whole, give you a greater advantage. It's weird because although this is about women's behaviour, men tend to have more experience with it than women do. I always feel like an asshole when I talk to women about this because it feels like I'm trying to tell you how your own gender behaves, which is obviously kind of a dick move. But at the same time, guys are the ones who typically experience how they're treated by lots of different women and so they have a more real sense of how important different traits are in dating. The inverse is true too, women tend to be keenly aware of how important their looks are in dating. Even though some guys will try to convince them otherwise, they know from how they're treated by guys overall that looks are undeniably important.

I think you're overthinking this