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I did word it a bit aggressively but it was to make a point. I wasn’t projecting hate. The point is that if you don’t have the general social skills to talk to girls then you aren’t likely to be able to do well with the spiritual or high consciousness girls you may want either Pickup is a good way to build and practice those skills

What happens when the hot spiritual girl you love who's doing shadow work and working on herself thinks you're a creepy shy weirdo because you shit your pants when you try to talk to her? The point of healthy pickup isn't really about getting laid, it's about learning to be a man and learning how to socialise, which is necessary to attract almost any girl

You are looking for reasons, explanations, logical understanding. But you fundamentally misunderstand women by approaching it like this. Connecting with girls is not about being logical. You need to feel into your emotional side rather than trying to explain and understand everything. Things are the way they are, feminine energy is chaotic, mysterious, it defies understanding by its very nature. You can only really start to get a grasp of it with experience and practice Possibly it isn't the right environment for you, that's true. But often a lot of guys who say 'clubs aren't the right environment for me' are actually just terrified of club environments and then they invent all this pompous crap about connection or depth as a way to sooth their ego from not being able to cope with busy social environments. I know this because I used to do it. It's totally possible to build connection in clubs. I've done it tons of times. I find it easier than elsewhere because in clubs you can do or say way more direct things than you can in day to day life, which makes it super quick to build up a connection with a girl. You also don't need to build up a deep connection on the night. You can enjoy the superficial fun of partying, have a great time with a girl, and then you can set up future dates where you get to know each other on a deeper level. The advantage of clubs is just that there are so many hot girls in one place at the same time that it gives you a massive amount of exposure.

How much experience do you have with talking to girls in clubs? And you don't go to dingy bars and clubs, you go to good bars and clubs. Yea, the process of attracting girls in clubs is slightly different, you have to be quite high energy and exciting but it doesn't mean you can't connect. You're just connecting in a different way that suits the environment more. Connection doesn't have to be a dry conversation about your shared values over dinner, it can be comparing your vibe with each other in a chaotic environment like a club. You make a lot of excuses which is probably going to hurt you a lot.

Most of the girls you meet in clubs are literally just normal girls and you can connect with them like you connect with a girl elsewhere. Everyone loves to party

I mean you have to be willing to put yourself out there as you are and get rejected hard for it. I guess that’s vulnerability But it doesn’t help you to know “What hooks a woman? Vulnerability” You can’t go out to a club armed with this quote and attract girls with it, which is why it’s kind of pointless to even think about that much

You don’t. Because if you did then every guy on the planet would know it and incels wouldn’t exist But by all means, tell me

If someone could simply tell you how to hook women we wouldn’t be having this discussion in the first place because you could just Google the answer and get any girl you want. But you can’t Google the answer. Because it isn’t that simple People are complicated, women’s attraction is especially complicated. It’s based on a whole bunch of factors that combine holistically to determine whether she’s attracted to you or not. Personality, masculinity, appearance, dress sense, how similar you are to her, how confident you are, your social status… The list goes on forever and it’s different for every girl There are patterns, like confidence, humour, playfulness, edginess etc. that get you better than average success but you can’t really learn these things without throwing yourself into the deep end and talking to girls. It isn’t as bad as it seems once you start Go to some parties, bars, clubs, start talking to girls and see what happens. No amount of learning is going to prepare you or make you less scared, you’ve just got to do it. Be a man and face your fears The framework above is just a way for you to get more of an intuition about how to talk to and attract women. It’s not a magical framework to attract any women, since that doesn’t exist. It doesn’t take thousands of approaches unless you have really shitty social skills. If your social skills are decent it will be way less. You just need exposure to girls and some practice

The framework is literally this: Go to a place with lots of girls Talk to lots of them Get rejected or find one that’s open to you Repeat This is all the theory you need to start taking action. Once you start taking action you can look at some more detailed theory. But primarily you will learn by practice making mistakes Your mind is tricky and will come up with ways to make you think you’re making progress without actually taking any action You don’t attract girls with IQ. You attract them with EQ. But you want to apply logic and theory to the problem because it’s far more comfortable for you than going out and talking to lots of girls

Yea but eventually you’ve still got to get in a car and actually learn to drive It’s better to learn the theory side of driving as you go. You don’t really learn to drive well by reading books. You have an instructor who tells you things as you need to know them while you’re actually sitting in a car practicing What you’re doing is like spending hours thinking about the accelerator and brake pedals of a car and convincing yourself that you’re making progress towards being a good driver

Yes, what women view as masculine strength varies. But the core is still the same. Being able to lead, being comfortable in your body, being able to communicate well, being able to emotionally stimulate her, having emotional intelligence. If you can't do these things you can't attract feminine girls reliably. And you can't learn these things from a book, or by thinking about them extensively. Smart guys don't suddenly stop being attracted to tits and ass. They may start look for other things in a girl beyond looks, but the fundamentals of attraction are still running in their head. It's no different for girls. You are overthinking this. Go and talk to lots of girls. This is the solution. You are not going to learn how to attract a girl you like by writing forum posts about your theories online. It's just a distraction that your brain convinces you is progress.

Assuming you're talking about @Kwashiorkor? Just ban him. What he said is like so fucking dumb you can tell nothing valuable is ever going to come from him here ever

Women get attracted to authenticity, fun, emotions, playfulness, leading. All of those are created impulsively in the moment, they aren't calculated or studied. It is that simple. But it's also difficult and takes a lot of practice if you're a guy who spends a lot of time in your head, which is a lot of guys here, me included. The way you learn is by taking action. By talking to lots of women. By learning how to feel into your body and be in the moment. Have fun. Be playful. Lead her. What you are doing when you are thinking about or studying how to attract girls is like trying to learn basketball by reading books. They do care about you being creepy. What I was saying is that the way to not be creepy is to talk to lots of women and learn what doesn't creep them out in practice. If you really suck with girls you're going to have to accept that you will probably creep some girls out before you get good at talking to girls. If you're constantly in your head trying not to be creepy, that will make you creepy to a lot of girls. This is kind of flawed thinking. Most girls are attracted to the same fundamental things, and creeped out by the same fundamental things, just like you and almost all guys are attracted to tits and ass.

This is the problem. Spending so much time analysing what is creepy is actually gonna make you more creepy. A woman doesn't hear about a man analysing how to not be creepy and think 'oh yea I want some of that' It isn't that you're dumb, not at all. Kind of the opposite. It's a common trap for smart guys to fall into where they get super theoretical and in their head about women while there are guys who aren't giving a fuck about any of this out there just taking action and slaying. Fundamentally, success with girls is about getting out of your head, not getting deeper inside it

I made alright money in college from freelancing as a programmer. Freelancing and online selling are both options where you can actually provide some value to people which is what you are really aiming for if you want a sustainable way of making money. The others on that list are very leechy methods of making money that will require you to be very grifty and go heavy into marketing if you actually want to make anything

I think you’re over-thinking this my man

Lmao

In practice what will probably happen is you will get to your 50s and regret not experimenting a lot when you were younger. God realization or enlightenment or whatever isn't going to save you from material regrets. Using these things to avoid completing your material goals in life is a dangerous strategy unless you want to become a monk.

I have seen racism in smaller clubs with darker skinned guys. The club in my smallish city of 150k people is almost entirely white when I go, it mostly serves the small town I live in and like 5 or so ruralish towns nearby on weekends. I made friends with some darker skinned guys who were often the only people I would see rejected getting into the place. Apparently they were causing trouble with girls. But when I actually saw them going and talking to girls they were being far tamer than me and yet they got interpreted as creepy (and reported) much more easily. It actually really pissed me off and I remember arguing with the bouncer over it. HOWEVER, I have not seen this anywhere near as badly in clubs in my bigger city of like 600k, or London. There were plenty of guys of all races clearly doing super well with girls there. I notice darker skinned guys tend to have their fashion ON POINT as well, which possibly helps in overcoming the race boundary.

That isn't love on the man's part. That's desperation and neediness. Proper love takes time to build up for men as well.

Getting a tattoo of a girl's face after a month is not hard. It's impulsive, and shows almost zero awareness of future. Yes, but we also live in the real world, where the logistics of a relationship cannot be sorted out in a month. You need a balance of mind and heart to create healthy relationships. Healthy relationships also require time, and build up.

Because it's equivalent to saying "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" after only a month. It's almost like he proposed to you after a month. It's just really fucking weird.

The fuck? You need to run for the fucking hills, that is not healthy behaviour

Please stop going to malls in India and doing cold approach. It’s such a bad strategy if you want decent results. It’s very likely to tank your self-esteem as well. Read what @Roy wrote. What he wrote even applies in liberal countries like the UK and the US, let alone in conservative countries like India. Either find nightlife party spots like bars and clubs, build up a social circle, or GTFO of India.

Or, how about option (c)... which is actually go and learn how to be more attractive to girls Your options that you listed are basically (a) do nothing and (b) give up But worded slightly more extremely If you really want to explore your sexuality as a man and you value it highly, fucking go and get the sexual experiences you want. Don't just sit back and wait for it to happen. @Tyler Robinson It's a rung above food and drink, but it is still very very much a need rather than a want. Most guys aren't that open about their sex drive, especially with women. But you can see how fucked up the guys who reach their mid 30s without ever having sex are. Many incels (lots even younger than mid 30s) are seriously considering suicide on a daily basis. If that doesn't convey how much of a need it is, I don't really know what would. Hookers and porn are like bandaids. The desire for sex is rooted in men's ability to generate attraction and be a valuable man. Failing at this essentially feels like the world telling that you're an awful and useless man. And this cemented deeply into our biology from billions of years of evolution. Your advice is essentially 'stop thinking that and just love yourself' which is, I guess, truthful, but it isn't really helpful advice for guys. It's like saying "just be happy" to someone with depression, which is why it rubbed so many guys here the wrong way. Yea, ultimately, if you want to actualize, overcoming the strong desire for sex is good. But it's a transcend and include kinda situation. You gotta satisfy some of your deeper sexual desire first and then learn to overcome it. If you just try to 'stop caring about sex' when actually you care deeply about sex, then that's just sexual repression. It's easy to give the 'stop caring about sex' advice when you are already have fairly abundant access to sex, or when you don't desire it that strongly.