something_else

You've probably heard this a bunch but it's almost all about how you say it not what you say This does explain a lot of your problems. Small towns are much more cliquey and sensitive to people who are perceived as outsiders which you are automatically if you make basic social errors. I live in a 100k town, and although it is a university town (so it's still quite busy socially) it's a noticeable different to the 700k city near me

The bigger problem here is building an identity around being smart. It tends to backfire quite a lot because you believe everything should be easy for you. But there are some things that are just plain hard and require a lot of work even if you are smart. Maths is one of those things. The people who are good at maths aren't always especially smart, they are just passionate and put a lot of work in. Out of curiosity, were you someone who could pass exams in school with minimal studying? This is quite a common archetype for someone who builds an identity around being smart.

Even if you can, holy shit, this is a terrible idea unless you basically take basically all the same precautions you do for a dark web purchase.

I've been doing solo nightgame for like a year, it's definitely doable. My biggest problem is not being allowed into clubs solo but there are plenty of ways to deal with that if you have a similar issue in your city but you still want to go out solo. The trick is to go to busy places where people don't stay in their groups and mix around a lot, since those are the places that it's easiest to talk to lots of new people.

You’re probably past that now. I’d move onto other girls. Maybe you get lucky and your detachment makes her change her mind but don’t count on it. It’s not worth your (or her) mental energy to engage in games like this

It always confuses me when I read people saying this. As far as I’m aware this is the exception, not the norm

I don't think it's wrong for guys to use hookers. However... For your first time? That's a bad idea. You will likely regret that for the rest of your life.

You see another way of doing it that is unverified, untested, and has gotten you no results as of yet. But you are choosing to ignore the results obtained by like 5-10 other people in this thread who have all created healthy loving relationships from pickup or similar, more direct approaches to dating. Look, you're clearly stubborn as a block of iron on this matter so I'm not going to talk to you about it anymore. Go out into the world and try out your approach, but you will realise quickly that idealistic approaches to dating like this are not good. There is no point discussing this. Let the rubber hit the road. Go and try out your approach and see if it works. That's all there is left for you to do.

I don't know if this is considered sourcing so I'm going to be intentionally vague, if you want more info do your own research. But if you're going to purchase from the dark web: Use markets, not individual sites Use Monero, not Bitcoin Use tails OS Choose locations inside your own country Follow literally all of the security guidelines even if it's a huge hassle

It isn't though. Clubs are kind of like networking events, you're supposed to make new connections and introduce yourself to lots of people. In clubs it doesn't even feel like 'an approach' to me, it just feels like meeting lots of new people. You tend to end up so intimate and close to other people that it's actually weirder if you don't talk to them. This is all especially true if you go to clubs that are popular with students. I think this is where you are projecting I do live in a friendly country, but I was down in London in the big clubs there recently and it was pretty much the same where you could find people to talk to pretty easily. Yea, there are groups who just want to be left alone but most people are at least tipsy and will talk to pretty much anyone. A high portion of people in clubs are extroverts who want to talk to other people. It also doesn't tend to work out like approaching a large group of people a lot of the time. More commonly, I'll meet an individual or two from a bigger group who then end up introducing me to others. Clubs break up big groups by their nature. The only time I've really seen big groups of people stay together in clubs is when they buy a booth or sit at a table, but even then the people at the booth often get up to go and dance and do their own thing. It was exactly the same in London as it is in Scotland so I can't imagine it's that different in Brussels. I bet you that girl thought that she was the only one he approached though. Or that it wasn't something he did often. A core part of daygame is convincing girls that you don't aren't out doing daygame, because for sure if they knew you had approached 15 other girls before her it would weird her out. It's inherently needy because by doing daygame you imply you can't get a date through conventional or socially acceptable means, which is scary for a girl. Even if you are out doing daygame you have to convince them that you are just out going about your day as normal. Yea, this is why you have to convince girls you're not doing daygame when you are. Because no matter how charming you are, you are being lumped in with all the weird and creepy guys the moment she knows what you're really doing. Like I said before, with nightgame it's different, I've told girls straight to their face that "I'm out on the pull" (I don't know if this is a phrase elsewhere but it basically means out purely looking to fuck) and it often gets a laugh. I can even be honest about being on my own if I am and it's usually fine. And yea I don't doubt that daygame can work or even be really effective for guys. I just don't like the ethics of the practice. Part of that is probably fear and bias. It really requires an ability to not give a fuck what other people think which is something I struggle with.

Oh, that's true, I forgot about research chemicals. I live in the UK so research chemicals are illegal by default. Our drug system is a whitelist rather than a blacklist, so our law literally states that the only legal psychoactive compounds are caffeine, nicotine and alcohol, anything else psychoactive is automatically illegal.

You can legally buy the spores online, and you can legally buy the grow kit online, but it's illegal to actually grow the spores into mushrooms. That might be what you saw. I've never seen a site on the clearnet selling psychedelics and it's unlikely any site that did this would last very long before being busted. But there are probably a few niche sites that do it if you look hard enough. It would be a really bad idea to buy from them though. Chances of you getting in trouble are quite high. You have to use the dark web for it if you want to buy them online safely.

I probably am a bit biased against it to be fair. Maybe it is just where I'm from. I can't think of a single person I know who would respond positively to me telling them I went out day gaming, and maybe that's part of it. The idea of even telling anyone I know I was going out day gaming makes me cringe, so I'd basically have to keep that part of me a complete secret. Whereas with nightgame for example I can talk about it with almost everyone and often even get encouragement lol. I've even told girls I was talking to while out at night that I'm purely out to pick up girls and it often gets a laugh. But try the same honesty with daygame and you'll get weird looks. I often have trouble handling what people think of me which is possibly why I think daygame is just not a good thing because to the average person it is a weird thing to do. That doesn't mean it objectively is, but it certainly makes me want to avoid it. I suppose in an ideal world you would just not care what people think and do it anyway.

@Karmadhi @Optimized Life It isn’t even about whether it can work. Of course it can work. The issue is that even if you are able to appeal to 10% of girls you are irritating or creeping out the other 90% You can find tons of posts where woman talk about how annoying or irritating it is to be approached all the time when they’re out trying to go about their day. You are basically being exactly like those annoying salespeople who approach you on the street and try to sell you crap. They annoy the shit out of me and I only encounter them once a month. Girls gotta deal with this shit almost every single day I have nothing against day game where you approach a few girls you see that you really like as you go about your day, this is perfectly acceptable behaviour as long as you have basic social skills. It’s the type of day game where you are intentionally going out and approaching one after another after another that is problematic, and probably 95% of the population would call it a red flag I tried to make a case for it on Reddit a while back when I wasn’t against that type of pickup and got downvoted into oblivion for making a fairly reasonable and level-headed case in favour of that kind of daygame. If Reddit of all places finds it repulsive then god knows what the general population (who you are actually approaching) think of it Yea, if you do daygame in a small city you’re gonna end up with an awful reputation very quickly because it’s a fundamentally creepy practice. You aren’t tarnishing your reputation in a large city but you’re still doing exactly the same practice which is basically being a public nuisance at best, because you are willing to creep out and irritate hundreds or thousands of women just to find a few who are receptive to you. This is selfish and problematic behaviour. I’d rather meet girls in a way that I feel maintains my integrity

It is spam approaching. I don’t know what else you’d call doing chained approaches on a busy street while girls are just tryna go about their day It’s not even really spam approaching if you do it in a bar or club because there that practice is really just getting to know everyone Of course you need to set up intent, but your intent should probably not involve annoying and creeping out half of the girls on a street during the day

It's a red flag if you're getting up at 11am on a Saturday morning to go and approach a hundred girls on your local high street. It's not a red flag if you're out and about doing what you normally do and you see a girl you like and you strike up a conversation. If I wanna do spam approaching I just go on a night out because girls are like at least 20x more receptive to conversations with new guys on a night out anyway and it's pretty much considered socially acceptable

Then by all means explain to me how you plan on finding what you want in a relationship. What is your approach going to be to find the girl you want? In concrete terms to me what your approach is going to be to find the girl of your dreams? It's as concrete as it gets. 'Go and talk to lots of girls' But in your mind that is pickup so you don't like it. It doesn't even have to be framed as pickup. It's really just doing tons and tons of socialising and learning how to meet lots of new people. And I'm going to hold you to this: Elaborate. The reason I'm being quite aggressive is because the way you are now comes across very similar to how I was in the past when I was inexperienced and it riles me up to see someone falling for the same trap. Sorry if I am coming across too harsh.

What counterexamples do you have for what I'm saying? And what proof do you have from other people's lives? From what I gather your approach is kind of just "sit around and think about what I want in a relationship and then prey the perfect girl magically appears in front of me and that I can attract her when she does" which I just cannot ever see being an effective approach. My approach is pretty much "don't get stuck in theory, rely on your heart, feelings and instincts, have fun, get lots of exposure to different types of girls, do things that scare you and push yourself" and I'm struggling to think of a counterexample of that approach. It's literally just the basic principles of mastery applied to relationships. Or healthy pickup really.

The problem is that it's a vicious cycle. You do one or two creepy things when you are socially inexperienced and then that makes you start to believe that you 'are just a creepy person and no one will like you' which makes you assume people will find you creepy in future interactions, so you try really hard not to be creepy, which actually makes you come across more creepily, which reinforces these beliefs that you are creepy, repeat ad infinitum. I don't really know the solution, but this is 100% the cause. You can see it in the way you both write. You believe you are just creepy people. Which is obviously not objectively true, but your deeply held beliefs make it reality for you

I can also ask you to prove that your approach is better. How many relationships have you been in using your approach? How many girls would you say you have built a connection beyond friendship with in your life? I suspect your response will be "it's a game of quality not quantity" however the truth is that the best way to find a partner you connect deeply with and love is to experience a decent variety of different partners so you know exactly what you want from a loving relationship.

Oh my fucking god, please just go and get some experience with girls. You're overthinking this. It's not that deep. Build up some social value, get lots of exposure, see what's out there, and you will find love. You will learn what to do and what not to do in relationships by having relationships. Not by sitting in your bedroom thinking about relationships.

I did word it a bit aggressively but it was to make a point. I wasn’t projecting hate. The point is that if you don’t have the general social skills to talk to girls then you aren’t likely to be able to do well with the spiritual or high consciousness girls you may want either Pickup is a good way to build and practice those skills

What happens when the hot spiritual girl you love who's doing shadow work and working on herself thinks you're a creepy shy weirdo because you shit your pants when you try to talk to her? The point of healthy pickup isn't really about getting laid, it's about learning to be a man and learning how to socialise, which is necessary to attract almost any girl

You are looking for reasons, explanations, logical understanding. But you fundamentally misunderstand women by approaching it like this. Connecting with girls is not about being logical. You need to feel into your emotional side rather than trying to explain and understand everything. Things are the way they are, feminine energy is chaotic, mysterious, it defies understanding by its very nature. You can only really start to get a grasp of it with experience and practice Possibly it isn't the right environment for you, that's true. But often a lot of guys who say 'clubs aren't the right environment for me' are actually just terrified of club environments and then they invent all this pompous crap about connection or depth as a way to sooth their ego from not being able to cope with busy social environments. I know this because I used to do it. It's totally possible to build connection in clubs. I've done it tons of times. I find it easier than elsewhere because in clubs you can do or say way more direct things than you can in day to day life, which makes it super quick to build up a connection with a girl. You also don't need to build up a deep connection on the night. You can enjoy the superficial fun of partying, have a great time with a girl, and then you can set up future dates where you get to know each other on a deeper level. The advantage of clubs is just that there are so many hot girls in one place at the same time that it gives you a massive amount of exposure.

How much experience do you have with talking to girls in clubs? And you don't go to dingy bars and clubs, you go to good bars and clubs. Yea, the process of attracting girls in clubs is slightly different, you have to be quite high energy and exciting but it doesn't mean you can't connect. You're just connecting in a different way that suits the environment more. Connection doesn't have to be a dry conversation about your shared values over dinner, it can be comparing your vibe with each other in a chaotic environment like a club. You make a lot of excuses which is probably going to hurt you a lot.