something_else

It always makes me laugh when I see guys call girls female in everyday contexts it's a tad cringey

Chill. the. motherfucking. hell. out. I know it's easier said than done. No one is judging you as harshly as you think they are. Everyone is far more concerned with their own lives than they are with yours. You know two people there. When you arrive go and talk to them. Let talking to them put you in a good frame of mind. As a group you'll end up talking to new people just by the nature of being at a party. If either of your friends are particularly sociable they'll probably do the heavy lifting for you Shitty attitude

Please don't do cold approach daygame at college. Your reputation will disintegrate. Talk to a few girls as you go about your day who you encounter naturally, but don't stand on the busiest street on campus and spam approach. Your reputation as the weird guy who does that will spread very very quickly. Why in the fuck would you even need cold approach at college? Make some friends, go to parties, go out to clubs. That's what college is for, that's how you meet girls at college.

It isn't disrespect, in most cases. And it isn't usually personal either. It's also not good to get upset when people disrespect you who you don't really know. You should probably be equally invested in these girls as they are in you i.e. not really at all at first. Why are you sending multiple follow messages to someone who doesn't answer? This is looks very needy. So does sending a big long spiel about how she needs to emotionally respect you. Girls don't respond well to that kind of thing because they see right through it. It isn't about you wanting respect, it's about you needing her attention and getting pissed off when she doesn't give you it. It creates way too much tension. Especially with someone you don't really know. It's actually quite disrespectful towards her if anything. You're putting a lot of unnatural pressure on her she doesn't really deserve.

As a guy you have to deal with girls flaking quite a bit. What is the best way to handle this? It used to really annoy me when I was quite lonely and didn't speak to that many girls. In fact it used to be one of the few things that would make my blood absolutely boil. But now that I can meet new girls consistently, it doesn't really bother me at all anymore. Of course it still happens and I would like advice on whether I should continue to talk to girls who are flaky and hard to pin down or just move on to other girls. Most common two examples of flakyness I encounter: We arrange date for a certain day/night. She agrees. I message night/day before for confirmation and then: Left on read Comes up with a legit excuse "Sorry I forgot" I suggest a day for a date. She says she doesn't know what days she'll be free next week and says "I'll message you and let you know what days I'm free". In my experience, girls who respond with "I'll let you know" have, not once in my entire life, ever let me know, lol. In my head there are two approaches I consider: Fuck it, I have too much respect for myself and my time to bother trying to deal with this, move on. I may as well keep chatting and try to set up another date, what have I got to lose? Maybe she'll be less fickle if I actually get her on a date, and perhaps we will get on really well together. What are your thoughts on handling this? Is it better to just cut losses and move on or keep playing?

This isn't about one girl in particular I don't really care about losing girls over text anymore. Obviously I would like to go on dates, but I don't care if things don't pan out because I know I can go out at weekends and get plenty of girls that way. You are kind of framing this like I'm needy, but I'm mostly past that stage now. I used to be very very needy. This is mostly about the logistics of getting dates with girls over text, because girls are typically flaky over text when they have such little investment in you. Perhaps a better way to frame this question would have been "how do you maximise chances of getting an actual date over text with a girl"

I've had girlfriends. And I wouldn't say I struggle with girls or anything. This is more of a logistics issue of whether it's worth my time pursuing girls that are kind of flaky and if there is ever any value in doing so, or if I should just say fuck it and move on. This sounds like a good approach, thanks.

You’re making a lot of assumptions about someone else’s life that you don’t really know, for a start Socialising will probably make you wittier and more capable of debating. But these are not always indicators of ‘intelligence’ per se Debating in particular is a really really bad way to express and share ideas because the winner is the quicker thinker, not the person who is right or slow and careful to consider their ideas and beliefs You’re also taking to heart too deeply what was said about low skilled jobs. The point was that a low stress, quiet job is potentially not that bad of an option if you want to focus on spiritual stuff and contemplation. Leo didn’t say as far as I saw that all less intellectual jobs are easy. That was your own assumption

Lol I have experienced similar situations and this was usually the cause. Tension like that has this tendency to put you into a kind of autopilot fight or flight response which makes you eject yourself from the situation without even really consciously deciding to do it. Your mind just sort of does it.

What is it supposedly that is so essentially different about white Europeans? The success of Europeans could easily just be because of the climate and nature of European geography enabling the success of those cultures more so than in harsher areas of the world, and the people who were living there just happened to be white. Or it could just be dumb luck and chance. Or any other number of chaotic factors that aren't genetic advantage. Being so certain that Europeans became the dominant culture simply because of their genetics is silly. At various points in the past, the world's majorly successful empires were all over the world. You can also take humans of any race and raise them properly and get healthy functioning adults capable of operating in more or less any culture or environment.

At the small company I work for we actually had to ban him because he tried to use our service, lol. From what I know of him (not that much), he is a heavy white supremacist and has been banned from almost every platform online for hate speech. I don't really think you need to say much more? Platforms like YT are pretty tolerant of conservative/right-wing opinions, you need to have some really extreme views to get banned. I think he is also fairly anti-women. I remember reading somewhere that he was opposed to women being allowed to vote although I don't know how accurate that is. He's also a stout Christian as well, right? And very much against other religions. I don't know why you would want to support such an intolerant person. There are far better conservative role models out there By all means explain his virtues here, but I suspect it will be tough.

It’s a slightly cringy quote from a cartoon but it resonated with me a lot: ”When we are at our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change” War is in a lot of cases a good example of this

Yea I can confirm that LSD tends to increase my anxiety while I’m high and for a few days after. Overall I can’t really tell if it’s helped or hindered anxiety big picture

It sounds like social anxiety. Or at the very least you are similar to me. I was also bullied and also grew up mostly playing games rather than socialising. And I feel like I’m in a similar spot to you where even validation from others doesn’t help me overcome the root anxieties I can’t really offer you a great solution if I’m honest, because I haven’t found one. It does help to force yourself to socialise and re-wire your brain to not be scared of people and expressing yourself to them I’ve been focusing for that on the past year and I do feel like I’ve made progress. I think it’s a long journey but as long as you keep taking action you will make progress. That is my plan, anyway Good luck my man. You sound like a decent dude at your core, you shouldn’t be worried about people judging you. Just learn to be you around others and fuck the consequences

@eos_nyxia Lots of guys are so starving for female attention that they get invested in new girls ridiculously quickly A short casual conversation online with you can be interpreted by a desperate guy as far far more investment from you than what you intended it to mean. So in their head when you ghost them it’s almost like a betrayal But the root issue is with them, not you

Sounds like it was good riddance anyway. I know it still hurts, though. Straight up ghosting anywhere beyond a first date is almost always extremely selfish

If it’s just some random dude you met online don’t feel bad. He’s getting ghosted left right and centre. But yea, after you’ve actually met up a few times and built a connection, ghosting is really rude and you should never do it at that point

To give you some sense of a typical ghosting rate for online dating for a guy, I get more than one message in about 50% of all my matches. About 20% are a short convo and then a ghost. About 10% I’ll get socials, and maybe 5% will go on a date. So about a 95% ghost rate. These are crude estimations but they’re close enough to make my point From what I gather this is pretty standard. Real life ghosting rate is prob a little bit less but I don’t really do getting socials/numbers in real life that much so I can’t say for sure. But whatever the case it’s still a lot. So you gotta get used to that shit as a guy and not get butthurt over it

As someone who’s done a lot of online dating, I’d rather be ghosted than lead on I understand it’s not always so cut or dry, sometimes you’re just seeing how things go and aren’t sure if you’d actually take things further But if you have no intention of going any further with a guy, just ghost them or politely move on. No matter how nice or polite they are

You sound very similar to me. I have received a lot of validation too but it never seems to stick and fix the core anxieties. I think what you have is likely just a very bad case of social anxiety. It’s most likely what I have too. I wish I knew the solution, honestly. Couple questions; Were you bullied as a kid? Are there ever times where you don’t feel like you have these anxieties about expressing yourself?

Lengthy, detailed communication is for later in the dating process. At the start you should be sending short, playful, fun messages. You shouldn't be that invested. Why is it that you care so much? So what? Just move onto the next girl. Girls will ghost you for any number of random reasons. It isn't their responsibility to make sure some random dude online doesn't get his feelings hurt, they have their own shit to care about.

I think he was being sarcastic

I could maybe see a micro dose being a good idea if you’re already an experienced tripper. But that’s about it. Anything more I’d bet $100 it ends badly. In my personal experience acid makes me just apocalyptically bad at expressing myself. And I get quite anxious when there is pressure/attention on me and I’ve taken a decent dose of acid.

I know one of the most common and dangerous combos is LSD and certain anti-depressants, but as far as I’ve heard SSRIs are alright. They supposedly dampen the high though. Please do your own research on this rather than relying on forums however. I have not researched this much, it’s just based on stuff I’ve heard and could be completely wrong. One of the disadvantages of psychedelics not being regulated is that you don’t always get a clean list of stuff you should never take them with, the doctor prob won’t tell you “don’t take acid when you’re on these anti-depressants or this medication” I’ve drank alcohol and been fine. Though the mix is not exactly complementary. It feels like the alcohol kills the acid effects a bit. Food is fine. Some people get nauseous on acid though and then food wouldn’t be ideal. I’ve eaten food and bad food and never had problems. Never tried caffeine really, don’t think it would cause any serious problems but the nausea/anxiety caffeine causes may be an issue for you

These women are probably not even going to tell you they have a BF even if you ask, so it makes no difference. If a girl wants you to leave her alone and she has a BF, that's going to be her immediate excuse, you don't need to do any digging or asking about it I mean it doesn't hurt you to ask if the girl has a BF. It simply isn't necessary, because if she is in a happy committed relationship she will tell you quickly and then you leave her alone Maybe it's worth it if you think she is leading you on, but again, in that case she would likely just lie. IMO it's better to just assume the girl is single until she tells you otherwise. It's smoother. Then again I mainly talk to girls out at night where the chance of them being single is probably substantially higher