something_else

Have you ever had a great friendship where neither of you were really 'captain' and both of you treated each other as equals? They are the best friendships. Imagine you were going around only looking for submissive friends who you could dominate? That would absolutely be a red flag, and a sign of an insecurity. It's similar with relationships. You can absolutely have relationships where you both view each other as equals and no one is the captain of the entire relationship. Relationships don't really need a 'leader' beyond when you're fucking and flirting, and yea, in those circumstances, the power dynamics are fun as fuck. But they should not extend into the deeper parts of the relationship. Like, what decisions are you even planning on making for your 'submissive' girl?

Then explain to me what you mean by mildly submissive?

It is compulsive/complete, I don’t know what other words to use. You’re either equals in the relationship or you’re not. It’s one thing to play with power dynamics when you’re flirting/fucking, but if you have the desire for those dynamics to extend into day-to-day life (and important relationship decisions) there’s a good chance that’s not coming from a healthy place. Hell, that’s the dynamic that causes domestic abuse

Oh fair enough, that's my bad, I mostly focused on your direct reply to me rather than other posts you made. In terms of working through your stuff while sober instead of using something like psychedelics, yea, you could. And for some people that's probably the right choice. But I think it is somewhat arrogant to claim that psychedelics cannot create any lasting impact or help you work through stuff sustainably. Humanity has been using psychedelics to do that for 2 million years. It's not like you take some psychedelics, have an experience, then return to baseline without any lasting change in your base consciousness. They are called trips and journeys for a reason. They create lasting change in perspective just like travelling to a new country that differs vastly from your own. For example, the mushrooms that were given to dying cancer patients; whatever happened during their trips, it removed their anxiety and depression around death permanently, even after returning to baseline. And they took a tiny amount too! How is that anything other than healing? They then no longer had to work through that while sober. It's an efficient solution worth investigating and having an open mind towards at the very least. In a similar vein, if you take some MDMA or ketamine while you talk to your therapist, there are indications that creates wildly more powerful change than just talking to your therapist sober because it helps you open up so much more intensely. Of course you will need to do work while sober too, I don't think anyone denies that, but suggesting that psychedelics can in no way help anyone permanently grow or heal as a person is really just a bit arrogant.

I find you to be somewhat intellectually dishonest by ignoring the bulk of my post and focusing on the only part of it you could construct a response to. This is an argumentation strategy that immediately makes me discount anything that a person has to say because it's such a strong indicator to me that a person isn't interested in questioning the opinions they've already formed. And the response you did give here does not even address my point which you quoted, you simply reiterate your own viewpoint again; that psychedelics are bad, with no reasoning as to why. This is a further indicator to me that you have no interest in questioning your own established viewpoints. So what's the point in anyone even discussing anything with you when you already think you have all the answers? I think there are negatives and limitations to psychedelics, for sure. No sensible person disagrees with that. But to outright say they are useless, can't help anyone, and can't produce any lasting improvements, is a very, very bold claim to make, especially without any evidence or experience to back that claim up. I gave you several examples to the contrary, and you ignored them because they don't conform to your existing viewpoint.

The question I find most interesting is 'why is there something instead of nothing?'

There's an element of irony here my friend

That's heavily, heavily stereotyped. Does it not seem like a red flag to you that you compulsively need a girl to be completely submissive to you in a relationship? I would say sustainable, healthy and developed relationships are more about both partners learning to exist as equals rather than the man needing to dominate the girl in day-to-day life. Yea, girls like a guy who can lead and succeed out in the world, and being able to lead a girl is great for initial phases building attraction, but beyond that, I would not say this compulsive idea that you need a girl to be submissive to your every whim all the time is not coming from a healthy place within you.

How do you know? Have you tried them? Just google ketamine/MDMA studies on depression/PTSD and you can see that they've been shown as very effective at healing people. If I remember correctly, they were possibly the most effective healing tool that was tested for some mental illnesses when taken sensibly. A set of terminally ill patients were also given mushrooms in a study at one point and it drastically reduced their depression and fear of death. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/psilocybin-a-journey-beyond-the-fear-of-death/ You're very confident about something I don't think you have that much experience with, which is actually the definition of self-deception.

This is an 'internet opinion' by which I mean that you only end up thinking this way if you get most of your social reference points from the internet. If you actually go and talk to lots of girls you see it isn't true.

Of course, it's not concrete proof. But it is a fairly strong indication. Strong enough of an indication that you should not be seriously worried about it happening to you if you're a normal dude. We can also do more napkin statistics: There are ~70k reported rapes per year in the UK. I've seen estimates placed anywhere from 2%-10% of all rape allegations being false. Assuming that is worst case 10%, then there are 7,000 false rape accusations per year. That means you have about a (7,000 / 35,000,000)*100 = 0.02% (or 1 in 5000) chance of being falsely accused of rape in a given year in the UK. And even if 100% of rape accusations were false, that's still only a 0.2% (or 1 in 500) chance of being falsely accused in a given year. The statistics there are pretty rough (mainly because we assume someone's behaviour is independent from the probability of being accused, when really there are certain types of people who are far more likely to find themselves accused both truthfully and falsely) but you get the idea. It's really not likely. Also, reasoning qualitatively, a woman has almost nothing to gain from giving a false accusation against a dude as well. The strongest motivator would probably be revenge at the end of a messy relationship, but if you're not a dickhead the chance of that goes down even further. You'd likely have to end up in a relationship with a girl who was sociopathic or something, which if you have a decent sense of people and some wisdom is also pretty unlikely.

100% remote isn't beneficial for most people anyway. At least not long term. It's too isolating. Large companies would probably be inclined to say that the optimal is like 1 or 2 remote days a week for control reasons, but I would say it's probably something like 1 or 2 office days a week that would be ideal for most people.

Probably not as rare as a plane crash but rare enough you shouldn’t worry about it. The chance of you being retroactively accused of rape after sleeping with a girl consensually in a western country is really, really, really low. A women has so little to gain from making such a false accusation and it would be an exceptionally involved and stressful process. Also, see here https://www.cps.gov.uk/publication/key-facts-about-how-CPS-prosecutes-allegations-rape “Research has shown that false allegations of rape are rare. A CPS report published in 2013 showed that over a 17-month period, there were 5,651 prosecutions for rape and, during the same period, there were 35 prosecutions for making false allegations of rape.” Women need to be far, far more concerned with actually being raped (probably on the order of 100x more concerned) than you do with being falsely accused. So the system needs to be somewhat biased in women’s favour, as a perfect system is impossible. Your biggest risk is misjudging a situation and making an unwanted escalation. But women are not evil. They understand that guys misjudge. If a women tells you to get lost after you make an advance and you leave her alone, 99%+ of the time you’ll be fine. The guys who get into trouble are the ones who don’t understand what no means and either keep trying or throw some kind of hissy fit at being rejected. If you learn how to properly sense whether a girl is into you or not, learn how to properly escalate, and understand when to give up and move on, you are so so unlikely to run into any issues. I think your issue is that you’re calibrated mostly by what you read online rather than mostly by real life experience, which has put the fear of god into you. Because only the bad stories get circulated on the internet so it isn’t a fair representation of reality. It’s essentially selection bias.

You can learn all of what it has to offer without immersing yourself in its culture. The culture of redpill is mostly designed by sketchy grifters to prey on desperate men

And there's the trauma

I'm pretty sure it's edited as well. It looks somewhat unnatural.

Throw a lot of logic out of the window and just learn to be playful and fun. Fun conversations are rarely about the content of what you're saying, they're usually about the energy between you. The hardest people to have conversations with are people who have no energy, not the people who have nothing going on in life. It's easier said than done. But the gist of it is getting out of your head, not thinking about the content of what you're saying too much, relaxing, and letting go of the logical flow of a conversation. Learn to make stupidly lateral connections from what a person says, don't answer literally, intentionally misinterpret what they say etc. etc. For example if someone told you they were a cashier rather than just saying "oh thats nice, I bet you have interesting stories about shitty customers" you could say "i bet you must fucking hate people with a job like that" with a playful energy which well then coax out those stories in a more entertaining way

I recommend typing with both hands on keyboard instead of one hand on keyboard and one hand on dick

From some quick googling, it looks like processed meats are worse, but even unprocessed red meats are also supposed to be carcinogens. However I am somewhat inclined to agree that it might be a worthwhile tradeoff when you are young if the energy benefits are so great. It's kind of tricky to judge.

Yea, the terms used for a lot of the emotions are kind of weird. Usually the 6 basic facial expression emotions are: sadness, happiness, fear, anger, surprise and disgust.

Is excessive red meat consumption not linked to a pretty significantly increased risk of cancer? That's just something I've heard, no idea if it's true. It might be something worth investigating.

32/36. I feel like it would be quite easy for someone with autism to learn what to look for to identify particular expressions, though. The TV show Lie to Me is a good example of that kind of thing. There is a whole coding system for identifying facial expressions: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facial_Action_Coding_System Obviously a lot of people do it without needing to be so explicit, but I think even someone with autism could learn to pick up on those explicit patterns fairly naturally in a test like this.

Go to places with lots of girls and talk to them, and repeat. Clubs are a good place to start. You will learn 10x more through practice than listening to game coaches online. I guess it can help, but it's easy to fall into the trap of over-consuming theory.

Lots of people are driven by trauma on both sides. I'm not saying anti-feminists are driven by trauma, I'm saying you're driven by trauma. There are healthy criticisms of feminsm, and anti-feminism, but to make healthy criticism you need to be detached instead of heavily emotionally invested in one side. And, I'm not saying anything is evil. I don't think you are an evil sexist man, I just think you have had unfortunate experiences that have steeped you in this negative bias towards progressive people. It's you that talks like the feminists are an evil force coming to get you. That's why I'm even bothering to discuss this with you, because it's so plainly an unhealthy way of viewing the world. If you're not even willing to seriously consider the positive and healthy arguments of the opposing side, you are truly lost. You're on a self-development forum. The whole point of being here is to try and rise above our biases and develop empathy/understanding/consciousness. I don't even know what you're talking about here. It seriously makes me question where this lived experience is coming from and in what environments, because if you talk to lots of people, especially women, you see that most women don't go around trying to destroy the masculine/feminine dynamic, yet would also call themselves feminists. You're shadow boxing a strawman of feminism in your mind that sounds like it's been heavily constructed by consuming anti-SJW content online. Anyway, I'm done here. I don't see a point in discussion with someone who is so closed minded that they reduce the entire opposing side's argument to daddy issues.

Or maybe you don't know what works? You should always be open to that possibility instead of being stubbornly convinced that you know everything. Most people here are suggesting to you that the way you are thinking about this issue is quite toxic, and likely based on some kind of trauma. You even acknowledged that. But then you still stick hard to this conspiracy about the feminists coming to ruin your life. A great practice to build up some empathy and understanding for the opposing side is to build a steelman argument for it. Actually sit down and really try hard to write up all of the good points that 'the feminists' make, try to understand why they feel the way they do and why they are so passionate about their cause. You can't reduce it to 'all the feminists are evil' because that would be equivalent to you saying that half of the Western world are evil and morally inferior to you. Is that really a POV you think you can justify? If not, they must have some driving force behind them that is not evil. If you think you are capable of critical thinking (which I absolutely think you are) you should not have any trouble seriously considering what that might be. I'm not suggesting you post it or anything, just that you seriously try this out yourself and see what happens. It's what caused me to stop being a hardcore anti-fem person. The anti-SJW content on YT completely indoctrinated me when I was younger, but doing this helped me build empathy and un-indoctrinate me. I would recommend it.