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Then stop coming up with theories on topics you don’t know much about Go and have a relationship or two and then you’ll start to understand how woman think about relationships much better.

I'm wondering if anyone has opinions on the benefits of going backpacking for a year from a growth perspective? Age is probably important context here, so I'll start with saying I'm 23. I am someone who has always struggled a fair bit with social anxiety and making new friends, but when I travelled to Nepal this summer for just over a month it was the most naturally sociable I've ever been, I had an absolute blast and met so many amazing people. I probably made more friends in that one month than I have in my entire life up until that point. It was mostly long-term backpackers who I met, and they felt like they were my kind of people. I can make friends here but they all feel more superficial than the friends I made when travelling. When I was sitting listening to music on a 6hr long bus to go out on a Safari trip with two mates I met while trekking, I can genuinely pinpoint that moment as the happiest I've ever felt in my life up until this point. It's also the moment that I realised I am in a pretty good position in life now to go backpacking myself. I started planning to quit my job at the end of this year, and go travelling around SE Asia, India, Nepal (again) and perhaps other places for the entirety of next year like many of the people I met on that trip were doing. It's not cheap but I can afford to do it if I save up for the next 6ish months. It is something I've completely set my mind on doing, but at the same time there is a part of me that is viewing this as me wasting every penny I have saved up on a year long holiday that isn't going to provide me any actual long term value. But then another part of me looks at how many amazing stories and experiences I got from 1 month of it (and how many crazy stories the people I met have) and I feel so passionately driven towards doing something like that myself that I honestly don't think there is much that can stop me from doing it now. Does anyone here have experience with backpacking and do you feel like it was an experience that grew you? Do you feel it was worth it? Do you have any advice? Thanks!

Nepal has no trains so your options are flights or busses. I would imagine long distance travel in India is mostly by train or plane. They have decent-ish roads between big cities, the issue is that they have a monsoon season every year that decimates many of the roads making it hard to actually maintain a consistent road network. But the people there figure shit out and things go on. I went by bus for the adventure and I don’t regret it. I got a local bus a few times and also a tourist bus a few times. Neither are particularly safe by developed standards but you’re probably going to be fine lol. The local bus was more dangerous but more of an adventure.

@mr_engineer have you ever actually been in a relationship?

This reads like a very detached-from-reality perspective. Do you get most of your information about women and relationships from the internet?

I get your point. This is a more balanced take than your first post which was suggesting that mediation alone is the cure for loneliness. OP is feeling lonely/isolated and as a result is feeling the urge to be sociable, this is a healthy human impulse and responding to it with meditating the urge away is almost akin to repression.

I mean, they do. Your mindset/feelings/emotions often determine the quality of the rational decisions you make in chess and life. You can also argue that chess, and life, should be played with style and romanticism which are qualities based on feelings.

What are you scared of? Will do!

I'm reasonably good looking and as of recently have an actually decent profile, and I still feel like I get a shit deal with online dating compared to real life, unless I pay Tinder money. Figures. The ratio of male to female on dating apps is insane. Officially statistics are around 80/20 male to female in the US, but most of the rest of the world it's like 90/10. And a good chunk of that 10-20% of women are not on dating apps for anything other than ego boost or instagram followers. So you're looking at maybe a best case of 85/15 and a worst case of 95/5. This sounds really bad, but you actually should view this as a positive thing. What it tells you is that most women really don't like dating apps very much either. --- Also, you should stop watching that guys content. It's predatory. He is converting your low self-esteem and fear into money and you are falling for it hook, line, and sinker. His thumbnails are carefully crafted to target your insecurity and make you feel inadequate. Notice this feeling is making you click his videos every time you see them in your feed. You are being manipulated.

Do you live in a big city with decent nightlife? If you do, you can absolutely go out solo and have a great time. You might even make some friends who you can go out with next time.

This is like telling someone to meditate away hunger or thirst. Go out, party and talk to women then, what's stopping you?

I don't know if it's my favourite film ever but 12 Angry Men is really good. It's old and black and white but it doesn't matter. The idea that an entire movie could be set inside a single small room and still be incredibly engaging is really impressive.

I mean that decision will make them an exceptional amount of money so it's not that odd.

I get how it can be misinterpreted. Though I think it's more that women like good leaders. And good leaders aren't usually that bossy. Instead good leaders have a way of making you want to follow them, instead of having to use aggression/force/bossiness to make you follow them. I think that kind of leadership is what women really find attractive.

I relate to this a lot. Get a really good haircut, done by a stylist who knows what will look good with your face. Get your beard trimmed/styled professionally, if you have one. Clear up your skin if it's not already. Learn your angles for taking great pictures. Learn how to smile for photos in a way that looks natural. A lot of this stuff helped me appreciate my face a lot more.

I have met several men who adopt this faux-picky attitude when they aren’t getting the results they want with woman. It sounds like a mindset you are using to soothe-your ego, perhaps. Good relationships take practice. Your first few are rarely great. This sounds like another ego soothe. “I’m holding off on all woman until I find the perfect one” — well, it’s actually quite hard to find the perfect woman for you if you don’t have experience with at least some who aren’t perfect for you first.

This is an exaggeration caused by consuming too much culture war content online. You see this if you go on Twitter for parenting advice but largely in the real world this doesn’t happen. I’m sorry, I’m not normally this rude, but this is such an unhealthy way to think about relationships that it’s almost mind-boggling that you think this is an insightful POV. This is kind of a straw man. Again if you follow culture wars online heavily you get a skewed viewpoint on this things like this that doesn’t reflect reality. Healthy relationships in the modern world are typically more balanced and not heavily focused on either partner filling the traditional roles exclusively, but instead both working together and contributing equally towards the tasks that previously would have been done by one partner. The reason for this is that most women work now which means traditional gender roles in a relationship don’t really work for the day-to-day things like chores and finances. And chores and finances are far more relevant to the quality of a relationship than whether you’d kill someone for your partner. No one reasonable is actually saying that a traditional relationship (where the man is the protector and earns all the money, and the women does all the chores) are bad. It’s just rare these days because women typically have careers, earn money, and live on their own for a period of time before marriage/settling down.

Even if 10% of what he says is valuable, you are setting this dude as a role model (video is time stamped, press play and watch like 30-40 seconds of it): You’re delusional if you think you can watch him talk for 3 hours, conclude that he’s a good role model, and not absorb a good chunk of the toxic BS he talks about. Don’t disrespect yourself by thinking that you need someone like Tate to teach you how to be a man.

That’s true. I have ultimate flexibility, so it may be that I decide to come home after 3 months, or 6, or 12. I’m just gonna play it by ear and see how it goes

Oh shit, Mongolia is on my list of places to visit funnily enough! How was it? Do you have any recommendations? And thank you for the encouragement Both my parents are encouraging it lol, it's my voice. It's pretty quiet but I do notice that a bit of doubt creeps in here or there.

Why did you call her 3 times? That's a bit weird. What is your relationship to this woman?

Once you have the basic skills down from a course, you should try coming up with your own ideas for projects and implementing them from start to finish. This is really the best way to actually get good at a programming language and programming in general.

Nice is so generic that it's almost meaningless. Women typically like men who have a strong sense of identity and character, not generic and boring men. It's not that niceness is a turn off so much as that if being 'nice' is your main personality trait, that's basically saying you don't really have much of a personality at all. If you are extremely compassionate, caring, empathetic, understanding then those are traits that are not always a turn off because they are actually indicative of a less generic personality than just 'being nice.'

I hope you can!

I don't see how it wouldn't transfer. It's exposing yourself to a massive amount of social experience. The wording of that was designed to play on what you said, yea, but being an interesting person makes it easier to meet new people, there's no doubting that. I don't want to be the most interesting man in the world, I just don't want to be a boring person. I want to do cool shit with my life and have interesting things to add to a conversation. Social skills are something that take practice for some people, especially if you did not get a lot of practice as a kid/teenager. As an adult who's graduated from uni and now works a remote job, it feels like it's pretty hard to get that experience in day to day life. I get that. But I also want to develop some degree of personality and the ability to talk eloquently and charismatically. In most of my past and current friendships I tend to be quite quiet, exactly like you say. But that is not because that is who I am as a person, it's because I'm too shy or lacking in confidence to actually talk or say the things I want to say, and so I adopted that quiet style of communication to compensate for that. I also notice that for me it's easy to end up becoming people's therapist when I am just quiet and listen to people and that is not the kind of relationship or friendship that I want. Sure, some degree of that is important but I'd rather chat shit, have adventures, build memories, and just have a blast with people. That's what I feel like I'm lacking in life right now. I have been