something_else

I have met several men who adopt this faux-picky attitude when they aren’t getting the results they want with woman. It sounds like a mindset you are using to soothe-your ego, perhaps. Good relationships take practice. Your first few are rarely great. This sounds like another ego soothe. “I’m holding off on all woman until I find the perfect one” — well, it’s actually quite hard to find the perfect woman for you if you don’t have experience with at least some who aren’t perfect for you first.

This is an exaggeration caused by consuming too much culture war content online. You see this if you go on Twitter for parenting advice but largely in the real world this doesn’t happen. I’m sorry, I’m not normally this rude, but this is such an unhealthy way to think about relationships that it’s almost mind-boggling that you think this is an insightful POV. This is kind of a straw man. Again if you follow culture wars online heavily you get a skewed viewpoint on this things like this that doesn’t reflect reality. Healthy relationships in the modern world are typically more balanced and not heavily focused on either partner filling the traditional roles exclusively, but instead both working together and contributing equally towards the tasks that previously would have been done by one partner. The reason for this is that most women work now which means traditional gender roles in a relationship don’t really work for the day-to-day things like chores and finances. And chores and finances are far more relevant to the quality of a relationship than whether you’d kill someone for your partner. No one reasonable is actually saying that a traditional relationship (where the man is the protector and earns all the money, and the women does all the chores) are bad. It’s just rare these days because women typically have careers, earn money, and live on their own for a period of time before marriage/settling down.

Even if 10% of what he says is valuable, you are setting this dude as a role model (video is time stamped, press play and watch like 30-40 seconds of it): You’re delusional if you think you can watch him talk for 3 hours, conclude that he’s a good role model, and not absorb a good chunk of the toxic BS he talks about. Don’t disrespect yourself by thinking that you need someone like Tate to teach you how to be a man.

That’s true. I have ultimate flexibility, so it may be that I decide to come home after 3 months, or 6, or 12. I’m just gonna play it by ear and see how it goes

What source are you basing this off? Is this an assumption based on what you read online?

Oh shit, Mongolia is on my list of places to visit funnily enough! How was it? Do you have any recommendations? And thank you for the encouragement Both my parents are encouraging it lol, it's my voice. It's pretty quiet but I do notice that a bit of doubt creeps in here or there.

Why did you call her 3 times? That's a bit weird. What is your relationship to this woman?

Once you have the basic skills down from a course, you should try coming up with your own ideas for projects and implementing them from start to finish. This is really the best way to actually get good at a programming language and programming in general.

Nice is so generic that it's almost meaningless. Women typically like men who have a strong sense of identity and character, not generic and boring men. It's not that niceness is a turn off so much as that if being 'nice' is your main personality trait, that's basically saying you don't really have much of a personality at all. If you are extremely compassionate, caring, empathetic, understanding then those are traits that are not always a turn off because they are actually indicative of a less generic personality than just 'being nice.'

I hope you can!

I don't see how it wouldn't transfer. It's exposing yourself to a massive amount of social experience. The wording of that was designed to play on what you said, yea, but being an interesting person makes it easier to meet new people, there's no doubting that. I don't want to be the most interesting man in the world, I just don't want to be a boring person. I want to do cool shit with my life and have interesting things to add to a conversation. Social skills are something that take practice for some people, especially if you did not get a lot of practice as a kid/teenager. As an adult who's graduated from uni and now works a remote job, it feels like it's pretty hard to get that experience in day to day life. I get that. But I also want to develop some degree of personality and the ability to talk eloquently and charismatically. In most of my past and current friendships I tend to be quite quiet, exactly like you say. But that is not because that is who I am as a person, it's because I'm too shy or lacking in confidence to actually talk or say the things I want to say, and so I adopted that quiet style of communication to compensate for that. I also notice that for me it's easy to end up becoming people's therapist when I am just quiet and listen to people and that is not the kind of relationship or friendship that I want. Sure, some degree of that is important but I'd rather chat shit, have adventures, build memories, and just have a blast with people. That's what I feel like I'm lacking in life right now. I have been

I got a job at a software consultancy through an internship hub at my university and then ended up working for one of the consultancy's clients, so I haven't used my degree at all since leaving uni. I expect when I leave where I am now, it will help a fair bit though.

I have friends, and I have a decent social life. They just could be better. And more effortless. I feel the root problem is just a lack of social experience overall because I spent a good chunk of my childhood and teenage years inside playing video games, and I feel a strong desire to make up for that now. I already have been making up for it here in Scotland for the past two or so years and have made very good progress. But the progress I made in one month away was greater than two years here. That feels like something not worth ignoring. Having stories to tell is a good way to make friends The idea is also that by travelling solo you are almost forced to meet tens of new people every day. If that doesn't massively increase your social skills and ability to make friends anywhere and everywhere, it's hard to imagine what would. In denial of what?

I was in a shitty relationship for my first two years of it, and then covid was around for my last two years. These both totally destroyed the social aspect of my time at university. Academically it was alright although I don't know how valuable what I learnt in classes really was (comp sci) Ultimately when I think back on my time there I just regret how unsociable I was. University in the UK provides such amazing and easily accessible social opportunities that you will never have again in life and you should absolutely take advantage of them while you are there.

I am mostly very happy with my life at home, I don't feel like I'm running away. The main thing I dislike about my life at home is that I suck at making friends and my social skills are a little lacking. Really I'm after adventure, freedom, and stories to tell. A month felt like it only gave me a taster of it. Thanks for the support and advice! Yea I can take a year if I like, but I could also do 3 or 6 months depending on how I feel. The flexibility of it is very nice.

I don't think it's wrong for you to not want to be with someone with a high body count, I am not judging you for that. Our opinions are not really different on that issue. I was just pointing out was that your thread feels geared towards looking for people to justify your shaming her with phrases like "dick trooper", "diseases", "especially when she was trying to justify her count with some feminist arguments" rather than wanting any advice on how to change, improve or handle the situation better. You also passed all this judgement and then still admit you'd sleep with her anyway which is slightly comical

You're worried about her having diseases but you'll still happily sleep with her? lol She has every right to sleep with whoever she wants and you have every right to not be OK with that. Really you should just be accepting of it, hold your boundaries and then move on with your life instead of being a judgy dick about it though. But actually I think the reason you made this thread is that you're looking for someone to justify that you're morally right in being disgusted by her body count rather than actually looking for advice about how to handle this kind of situation.

Once you get into medical school, everyone has to meet the same criteria to pass and become a doctor. As long as they pass those tests, I don’t care how they did in high school or if they got any assistance or compensation for a shitty upbringing.

This is the crux of the issue. If you are born with poor parents into a poor neighbourhood with bad educational resources (statistically far more likely if you are black for example) then how is a merit based system fair for you? The kid who was born with rich parents into a rich neighbourhood with a top notch elementary + high school education is going to out-merit you, not because of his own skill or because he is better than you, but simply because he had a better education than you from a young age. @Bobby_2021 So how do we account for this? What is your proposed solution that is better than affirmative action?

Personally I don't want to marry. But in terms of settling down, I don't want to do it before 30. I think for the majority of people having kids and settling down before 25 in the modern world is a mistake. Especially if you're a guy.

This is specifically for porn use, not NoFap. I can get behind the argument that excessive porn use is not great for you, but the evidence for masturabting at all being unhealthy for you (the main point behind NoFap) is very very lacking. It’s almost entirely anecdotal.

Let's hear your 5 bad things about Trump then

700k is plenty of people for nightgame to work as long as you’re not really creepy on a consistent basis. If you have basic social skills 700k is more than enough.

@Raze No, I didn't say that. I said that extreme power imbalance in a relationship is usually a bad thing, and that explicitly looking for relationships where you know there is a power imbalance (for example going to poor countries to find poor women as a rich westerner) is exploitative and creepy in nature. That's not the same as a rich westerner and a poor westerner who happen to meet and end up dating. In this scenario he didn't specifically hunt her down and choose her because she was poorer than him. My point is not that relationships between westerner men and women from poor countries are inherently bad, which is what I think you think I am saying. I think they can be totally ethical and healthy if they arise more naturally. My point is that the Western men who intentionally go looking for poorer women to date in 3rd world countries are exploiting the fact that women in poorer countries will do almost anything to improve their situation in life. What I am saying is creepy and exploitative is the intent from the rich western man to find a poorer women to date. You have little ground to stand on in an argument against this not being exploitative when you make comments like this in your original post:

It doesn't matter if you explicitly lead with money or not. Your implicit difference in wealth is a foundational brick upon which the relationship would be built. If this were not the case it would not be so much easier for Western men to date women in poor countries. It's not crazy to call that exploitation. You know this dynamic exists and you go to a poor country to exploit it for easier sex. It is the definition of exploitation. Agreed. It's just significantly worse when you're doing this kind of stuff in a poor country because the power/wealth difference is potentially so much more extreme. Relationships based on monetary exchange or power dynamics are unhealthy no matter where they happen. You should not be looking for such a relationship if you want it to be long and healthy. Do you think the people who are focusing on leveraging power over someone while dating are having happy healthy relationships? And it's still standard for men to say they want a pretty woman with a feminine personality who supports them emotionally.