something_else

Build a solid social circle. Holy fuck, that supercharges your dating results. I tried for years to do things without many friends and it's such a handicap. Dating apps may work well for you too, but you need good pics. It took me like 3-4 years to get solid dating app pics, almost all of them are from travel.

It always freaks me out when I see high ageplay scores because I know what questions it asks for that category

I think corruption is too strong of a word for this. I suspect if the mother was known amongst the community of these churches they'd have helped her. Christian churches are very cliquey from what I gather and they'll be very supportive of members, but not very supportive of random people unknown to the church. I also suspect that if the mother went there in person she'd have been offered more help as well. Buddhists make a bigger deal out of helping everybody they can regardless of their relationship to the organisation.

I'm similar. I had two tiny draws off a joint my friend has and it was almost like I'd taken a low strength tab of acid. Insane. They thought I was making it up. I think this explains why I HATE smoking weed around other people, especially when I've been drinking. It makes me incredibly hyperaware, paranoid and anxious.

I’m having more success on dating apps than ever. I’ve used them at three different ages, 17 (was allowed on tinder at the time), 21-22 and now at 25. At 17 I barely got any attention at all. At 21-22 I got some, but rarely from girls I actually thought were cute. And now at 25 I finally feel like I’ve got it on lock. The success largely comes from having really cool travel photos from a year of backpacking. I also look a bit better than I used to in terms of style and grooming

You're right, but what I think you're missing is that in order to transform your life from that of a socially anxious basement dwelling neckbeard into that of a work of art will require a lot of effort. It isn't something you can just 'do' or 'be' on a whim. I don't particularly like the framing of a lot of pickup advice but it is a good first step to get a man out into the world and talking to people. I think framing it as 'pickup' is a fundamental mistake because, like you say, it's very needy. It has a lot of very negative connotations and for good reason. It's much better to instead frame it as building social skills, but a lot of the stuff involved is very similar regardless of what you call it. It largely just involves forcing yourself into social situations, pushing your comfort zone socially, making friends, and yea, trying to get laid. I'm sure you'd agree that none of this is inherently bad behaviour. Most men go through a stage like this in their late teens to early twenties without even really knowing what pickup is, it's just a natural stage of male development that got formalised into pickup at some point.

I don't doubt there is some truth to this. There's a good quote: "Society views men as disposable agents and women as precious objects" which explains this quite well. Because men are typically seen to have more agency, they are blamed for their actions much more. While women are seen to have less agency and control over their behaviour, and therefore society sees them as less inherently responsible for their actions. While it sucks that men are often blamed more, being treated as actually having agency is of massive benefit too. For example I expect if you conducted a similar experiment which attributed credit to positive actions, men would receive much more credit than the women would for the same actions.

Are you financially capable of moving into a serviced apartment or built-to-rent style place? A lot of them offer social events for residents, it's a very easy way to make friends and reduce the feeling of isolation. Moving into one of these places was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Like you I used to struggle with isolation, but now I have a really solid friend group living in the same building as me. It's amazing. The downside is they're really expensive.

Yea, I hate going out with guys who are hyper-competitive. I can compete if I want, to but it just sucks the fun out of the night. I'd rather go out with people who's main goal is to have fun rather than to get laid. I've always gotten laid more when out with chill mixed gender groups anyway, mostly when I wasn't even trying. It makes you look more high status and approachable than being with a group of 5 thirsty dudes scanning for women on the dancefloor like meerkats. Also, ironically, I've found that the best wingmen are always women, married dudes, or gay guys.

If you're relatively good looking as a guy, "acting properly" can pretty much be summarised as "be sociable, meet lots of people, and don't be weird" and in many cases that will be enough. If you want to set charisma as your main goal then there is more involved. Being weird/unique is actually a good thing, but it can take a lot of practice to figure out how to express your weirdness in a way that is charismatic and not off putting.

Club nights aren't as popular with my generation or younger anymore. They typically seem to prefer what I'd call a 'bar with a dance floor' over a traditional nightclub. But that's just a preference, it's not like clubs are going to go away anytime soon. And these bars are good places to party. I will say this is very UK centred opinion as well. I have no idea what it's like elsewhere.

It’s usually just some light teasing or flirting that socially awkward pickup dudes have given a name to because they don’t know how to respond

It’s definitely not too late. I’d focus on making friends first though, having friends to do stuff with makes meeting women much easier

In some sense I agree with you, our society favours quick pharmaceutical fixes over long term healthy choices. That isn't really a secret, and yes, big pharmaceutical companies exploit this desire we have for quick fixes. But you are suggesting something even more extreme than this. You're suggesting that there is a natural quick fix available to anybody, which is being kept secret in some worldwide conspiracy. There are many problems with this thinking. Here are a few that come to mind: why do the rich and powerful, who are presumably aware of this conspiracy, still die of cancer and other ailments when simple and readily available vegetables could cure them? how many people would need to know about a conspiracy of this scale? probably several million people worldwide, what are the chances they all keep their mouth shut and the secret doesn't leak? any one of them could revolutionise the world at a moment's notice, yet for some reason they don't what is the mechanism by which, for example, broccoli, kills cancer cells? yes, eating healthy throughout your entire life will prevent many diseases, but you are suggesting that eating a specific diet can cure, not just prevent, cancer. That literally means there has to be a mechanism via which broccoli kills cancer cells if what you are saying is true

Sure they did, lol. Obviously if you eat healthy throughout your entire life it significantly reduces the chance of you getting serious diseases, it's a preventative/proactive measure you take over many years. But the idea that you could cure pre-existing late stage cancer with a temporary prescription of broccoli and camping just seems a bit delusional.

You should avoid pills and try to get pure powder/crystals. The pills are usually cut with all sorts of random stuff, harder to test, and dosage is harder to predict. Also, while MDMA is an amazing substance you really shouldn’t take it more than a few times per year or you’ll really start to fuck with your brain chemistry. The first few times you won’t get much of a comedown but my friends who have taken it more than a handful of times almost always have really awful comedowns now.

This sounds like a reframing of the feminist idea that patriarchal structures typically harm men as well.

AI is really bad at flirting, making coherent jokes and sharing genuine things about yourself to build connection. These are the three major ways you can actually engage with people on dating apps. You’d probably have to configure it to just push for drinks/coffee date pretty quick, that might work quite well, if you’ve got a solid profile.

I often see people who sleep around being shamed with comments like, “You’re going to catch an STD.” And yeah, the risk definitely increases the more partners you have, and the more partners your partners have had. That said, I’ve been pretty promiscuous over the past four years and haven’t caught anything. Honestly, I’m surprised by that, because I always grew up thinking that if you slept around, you’d almost certainly end up with an STD. I haven’t even picked up HSV-1 or HSV-2, which a huge percentage of people have. Have I just been lucky? Or is STD risk in general just overblown? I always use condoms carefully and practise safe sex within reason, which I assume makes a big difference.

Believe me, I know, and I’m not complaining It shocks me how many of my male friends are completely happy with having unprotected casual sex, and also how many of the girls I’ve been with were pleasantly surprised when I brought a condom out. In some cases some girls even asked not to use one. My overall point is just that if you religiously use condoms and get regularly tested, I think the STD risk of regular casual sex is pretty minimal. Herpes does scare me though, but again I’ve been very promiscuous and avoided it thus far.

There is a risk, but I think if you take proper precaution it isn't something that you need to be extremely anxious about. Obviously the risk is really high if you go sleeping around without a condom and you never get tested. Or if you don't know how to use a condom properly. With the exception of HSV, the majority of commonly caught STDs are treated with a simple course of antibiotics as well. HSV-2 is really the only STD that actually scares me because it's untreatable, has consequences and isn't prevented with a condom. But like I said, statistically I have almost certainly been exposed to it by now but somehow I don't have it. Getting someone pregnant unintentionally is a FAR bigger risk than an STD.

I just don’t see how this is true. Hard drugs will destroy your body, kill you, or leave you in financial ruin. The worst porn can do is fuck with your dopamine circuitry a bit. Even then, it’s only a risk to your mental health if you’re using it as a substitute for relationships or sex, or you use it so excessively that it interferes with your day to day life. Also “between alcohol and meth” is a massive range. Alcohol is probably one of the least naturally addictive drugs while meth is one of the most.

Alright dude

What?

There are also women who are extremely good looking but in a way that's kind of generic. Almost so perfect that they're boring to look at. That's probably a similar dynamic to what we're talking about here with guys that are 'too attractive.' As humans, we relate most deeply over our shared flaws. If you have no flaws then you become very hard to relate to and you also risk coming across as a bit boring.