something_else

The first step to writing a good comeback is that it makes sense

Yea, but most of them still date and have sex with guys. It’s largely just said out of frustration because they have a lot of negative experiences with men. It doesn’t mean they hate every man

Something better? What exactly were you envisioning as a better outcome for that night than a threesome? The feeling of abundance and flow from talking to lots of girls is good, but it’s temporary. The more permanent feeling of abundance comes from actually being able to get laid consistently. What is your end goal here?

Why did you not go for it? I feel like the answer to this question is at the root of the problems you’re facing

I don’t entirely disagree. Asia in general has a lot of this to cater to western tourists, but it does also have some genuinely spiritual communities (and people) a bit more off the beaten track.

Bali is a weird place, it’s a mixing pot of a huge variety of people in a very small island. I prefer the surrounding islands like Lombok, but Bali is also cool. It definitely isn’t the case that people are only there to hookup. There are plenty of digital nomads and remote workers there long term who actually want to date. I met many, and briefly dated one (hottest girl I’ve ever been with, story below 😂). I also used dating apps a lot there and there was no shortage of girls with “long term” on their profile. Honestly, it seems like for every potential solution you’re offered you have an over-generalised excuse for why it wouldn’t work. Try something out before you make your mind up instead of immediately shutting it down based on your ideas of what a place is like. —— Anyway, story of the girl I dated in Bali Very relevant to this thread. This is the hottest girl I’ve ever been with, like I said. Half Romanian / half Spanish, grew up in Spain. She had worked as a model back home. Guys would come up to me on the street and congratulate me when we were walking around together. It was bizarre. I’d never experienced anything like that before. She used to talk to me in Spanish when we were fucking. Oh my god, so fucking hot. Memories… It’s such a shame how it turned out, but I’ll get to that in a sec. She was a digital nomad there and absolutely looking for something long term, not casual. She wanted someone to travel the world with, and I was very open to that. For a while it seemed like it was going to happen. She was super spiritual too. We did a ton of yoga together at a spiritual retreat there. Then we did sensory deprivation tanks together for the first time. Afterwards she told me about how her mind was filled with only two things during the experience, sex and the idea of death. We then quite naturally had a very deep discussion about ego death, spirituality and sexuality. We were seeing each other regularly for around 6 weeks, it was absolutely amazing, and then… It turned out she was a Nazi. And I don’t mean in the moralistic “everyone vaguely right wing is a Nazi” sense. I mean literally. At one point she suddenly asked me “would you ever date anybody who wasn’t white?” I said yes, of course, because I have. Then she looked shocked and replied with “no, that’s awful, you need to preserve the white race”. I thought she was joking at first, but no, she was deadly serious. She had already told me that she had grown up shitposting on 4chan throughout her teenage years, which I thought was funny at the time. Seriously. Like this is one of the hottest girls I’ve ever met and she was a 4chan shitposter But in hindsight it made a lot of sense. She then started working out of some cult mansion in Bali for a shitcoin pump-n-dump scheme. Truly bizarre and almost comical. It’s amazing what your mind will do to rationalise staying with someone that hot even if they have values that directly conflict with yours. But I did (painfully) end things at that point because I just could not date someone with values like that no matter how hot and spiritual they were. In the end I’m glad I had this experience because it kind of shattered the illusion of the “perfect hot girl”. Super hot girls are just people like the rest of us. They can be weird, irrational, flawed, interesting, deep, or even pretty fucked up. There’s no reason to put them on a pedestal just because they’re hot. Treat them like any other person you’ve ever met.

Dude 😂😂 so many opportunities here? Why didn’t you capitalise on any of this? What are you actually trying to accomplish because it sounds like you could get laid if you wanted to, but instead you’re giving up those opportunities to spam approach more women

That’s quite interesting, and actually quite different from approach anxiety. I don’t think you can make that anxiety go away by doing lots of short approaches, you really need experience talking to girls for a longer period of time and learning how to hold a convo with them to make this go away. 100 one to five minute approaches won’t solve it

Ironic

If you’re really socially stunted even alcohol won’t help. If you just struggle with confidence and a stick up your ass then alcohol will solve that problem real fast. But obviously it comes with other costs.

You can, it’s called alcohol. Lol.

This is one of the reasons why I don’t find her inconsistent account afterwards that strange. She consented to a threesome when she was already pretty drunk but probably still mostly with it at least, and then it escalated way beyond what she was comfortable with and what she consented to. They give her ket, weed, more alcohol and suddenly she’s phasing in and out of consciousness and there are 7 guys around her. An inconsistent account after that is what you would expect. Substance and alcohol use probably left her with very fuzzy and disjointed memories of what happened later into the night, but substantially clearer memories of the initial consensual encounter where she was less intoxicated. The mind can easily rationalise that into “I consented to all of it” or “I was just drunk and stupid” before taking time to process what really happened.

I do really think you deserve a ton of respect for your commitment to doing something hard like this. I really do. But I think it’s time to change up your strat and focus on quality over quantity. Set your goal to be “get ten phone numbers / socials in a night” rather than doing 100 low quality approaches. It’s clear you can approach, but something fundamental is going wrong with the quality of the approach if after talking to this many girls you’ve not even managed to get a date. Pickup is highly analogous to online advertising. If you put an ad up online and 10,000 people saw it but only 10 people clicked it and zero people bought the product, what do you do? Keep running the same ad til 100,000 people have seen it? No, you’d start tweaking levers like the quality of the ad, target audience, quality of the website, and quality of the product. Matching those last 4 levers to pickup equivalents: you’d improve the quality of the approach, where and who you’re approaching, texting/date skills, and your own style/appearance/value.

Yea, pretty much. And throw in growing up in a time where it was slightly more acceptable for men to behave that way, plus less overall awareness of manosphere content. All of that together can mean it’s less of a visceral reaction than it would be for a girl in her twenties now.

You said you were looking for a young and “moldable” girl.