something_else

Bundle getting better with girls into building your social skills. They're quite similar skillsets. Focus on building up a social life where you are somewhat naturally finding yourself in mixed gender places and push yourself to chat to the women there.

I'd recommend not viewing this as learning game, so much as improving/enhancing your social skills in general. IMO it's a healthier way to view it. In some sense it's the same thing but you aren't associating yourself with all of the negative stigma around game and pickup, of which there is a lot. Just focus on having something social going on in your life at the very least every single weekend, ideally on a bunch of weeknights too. Get a group of mates to go out with on weekends, and fill your weeknights up with activities like yoga classes, martial arts, sports, clubs, meetups, etc. It doesn't have to be about getting laid at the start, it helps a lot to have a solid social foundation which you can build upon. The momentum comes from being sociable in general, not just talking to girls.

With fashion I feel like you should get the basics down before you start experimenting with weirder stuff. Could you pull these pink shoes off? Yes, probably. But the confidence and outfit matching skills you need to do it are the kind of thing you should build up with classic solid outfits/pieces first.

I have sympathy for you. Relentlessly fighting with the trauma ghosts in your head every day must be very tiring

You can’t objectively decide. You can’t figure it out. The rules are very wish-washy and depend heavily on circumstances. It’s mostly an intuitive sense. Hence why practice is kind of the only way to calibrate yourself socially. Talking to lots of people and being in lots of different social environments is kind of the only way to calibrate yourself.

Because your question is somewhat flawed to begin with and doesn’t really have an answer. Asking “who decides what social calibration is” is like asking “who decides that human beings have to work”, or “who decides that money has value” There is not really an answer to any of these questions. There is no “who”. There is no individual or group of people that actively decide any of this. Work, money, and socialisation are just emergent properties of living in a complex human society.

If you’re willing to face the consequences, you can behave however you like. No one is forcing you to be socially calibrated but if you are, it will make lots of things in your life much easier.

Thanks for the advice all

During the daytime in college focus on making friends and expanding your social circle. Join a bunch of clubs and societies that interest you. The more friends you have the more you end up naturally talking to girls without it really being an ‘approach’ which is kind of the ideal scenario. If you wanna do ‘approaches’ in the pickup sense then just go to clubs and parties. 80% of the guys there are trying to get laid, it’s college. You’ll only get a bad reputation talking to girls in those settings if you’re really really creepy.

I have a very strange relationship with social anxiety. No one would call me socially anxious, at least not anymore. I’ve been backpacking for 8 months, partying, having fun, making lots of friends around the world, getting laid. Not something you usually associate with someone who has crippling social anxiety. From an outsiders perspective on my life, my social anxiety is essentially cured. But internally I am still often extremely anxious over some random basic social interactions. Like right now some guy in a hostel bathroom was asking me about my shaver and if it was good and I was literally sweating from anxiety over this extremely basic conversation. At times like this I wonder, have I really made any progress at all? I have all of these results, but I still fundamentally feel a sense of being weird, different and socially inadequate in my core. In short, up until now I feel like I learnt how to ‘fake it’ and be fairly confident around others, but I still haven’t fixed the root feeling of social incompetence that is fuelling the core of my anxiety. I feel like I need to address this in order to make any further progress, so I’m wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar and has any advice. Thank you

If you jerked off a few times a week without judging yourself for it your lust would probably be much more manageable. Lust is a normal emotion, it’s only a problem when you start to repress it and form hefty negative beliefs around it.

There are probably statistics for this kind of thing. And if there aren’t then how do you even expect us to answer your question? Lol Just Google this and see what you can find if you really care.

This is an over generalisation, but it probably does have a grain of truth. Evolutionarily it makes a bit of sense, a man wants to know that the children he is raising have HIS genetics and if a woman sleeps with another man then he doesn’t know for sure that his kids are his. On the other hand a woman who would have needed a man for protection and resources is perhaps more concerned about her man leaving her and giving his love, and thus protection and resources, to another woman. Again, vast over-generalisation but I think this is roughly why you notice this dynamic occasionally. In most cases neither party, M or F, likes hearing that the other is fucking another person.

This is exactly what you have to learn to do when you solo travel, but it’s far more socially acceptable. Approaching random strangers on the street is 95% of the time pretty weird thing to do, and you might actually make your problem worse if that’s what the course involves. You want to find places where approaching new groups and strangers is socially acceptable and learn to do it there. Night clubs and hostels are probably the two best environments on the planet for it and you don’t need to pay 4k to just go to these places and push yourself to be sociable and chat to people.

Spend $4k on a backpacking trip to Asia and stay in sociable hostels instead. Way better than any coaching, I would imagine. Certainly better value for money. The coaching is likely going to be very forced and artificial. Find ways to naturally be in sociable environments and chat to new people. The best way I found was travel and backpacking, it’s improved my social skills x100