Gianna

Anger – anger indicates where your boundaries exist. – anger says, "this is a no for me and it happened anyway." – anytime you feel anger, think about what boundary of yours just got crossed/violated. does it need to be reassessed? your emotions are indicative of your boundaries. they are a compass that directs you toward your true self.

Enmeshment is NOT love. Do not confuse these two. Enmeshment is making someone a part of you. Love is taking someone as a part of you. HUGE difference. Light and day difference. It is okay to think out loud and dump in my journal (even though I don't really understand what you are saying). But I do not have a boyfriend. What!!? You're definitely confusing me with someone else. haha. I haven't had a boyfriend since being a part of this forum. I'm not going to read the rest of your posts on this thread, you're clearly misunderstood. I'm sorry

being intelligent (as far as IQ goes) is not the same thing as being cognitively complex. Cognitive complexity comes from diversity+empathy+understanding. Having a high IQ is having a lot of rational and logical intelligence. There is a difference

Self-serving bias confirmation bias

Week 11 Recovering a Sense of Autonomy Success Creativity is a spiritual practice it’s not something that can be perfected, finished, and set aside. A plateau of ~creativity is sometimes followed by a period of restlessness— “there” always disappears. What are we going to do now? “This unfinished quality, this restless appetite for further exploration tests us. We are asked to expand in order that we not contract. Evading this commitment leads straight to stagnation, discontent, spiritual discomfort. Can’t I rest? The answer is no." Being an artist is like being a shark if you stop swimming you will die Being an artist requires the humility to be able to start anew, to be a beginner again. As artists we are travelers. Too burdened by our worldly dignity, too invested in our stations/positions, we are unable to yield to spiritual leadings– we insist on a straight and narrow path when the artist’s way is a spiral. Invested in a career, we can mistakenly place that investment above our inner guidance. Creativity is not a business although it can generate business. Don’t let strategy override creativity. Those who tempt themselves to work too long with a formula- even their own- rob their creative truth. As artists, we are asked to repeat our work and expand the market we built (sequels, potters, composers, choreography). Sometimes this is possible and sometimes it is not. An artist should not replicate a prior success. God is not interested in redundancy. Attempting to play it safe we lose our cutting edge. As the promised projects diverge further and further from our inner learnings, a certain artistic weariness sets in. We must summon our enthusiasm at gunpoint instead of reveling in each day’s creative task. Artists should not mortgage the future too heavily. This is not to say not to plan. Commit to projects that you are sure of but also commit to those riskier projects that call to your creative soul. You do not need to overturn an entire career, just small adjustments every day that- over the long haul- adjust your trajectory and the satisfaction of your career. This means writing your morning pages. Taking your artist date. If we ignore our inner commitment, the cost rapidly becomes apparent in our outer world. A lack of conviction surfaces that evicts our creative excitement. Artists must be vigilant Artists can responsibly meet the demands of their business partners. But what is more difficult and more critical is to continue to meet the inner demand of our own artistic growth. As success comes to us, we must be vigilant. Any success postulated on a permanent plateau dooms the work to failure.

@FlyingLotus You're amazing!!! Thank you Seeing Leo do interviews.. makes my heart warm.

@RickyFitts I love seeing a group play together like this <3 great song

It's funny I always thought it was unnatural to be so persistent without holding back but I heard somewhere that compared it to children. Saying that it is natural for kids to ask for things various times even after being told no. I thought that was interesting and changed my perspective on it

@RickyFitts Thank you

I just fell in love with this song

@RickyFitts Yes definitely that. But I will elaborate on it in a post soon

First of all, I just want to say that I am blown away by the accuracy of this video. This experience is so incredibly beyond words I am shocked Leo is able to communicate it so clearly. Until about 25-30 minutes in, I related to everything that was said in the video– I mean exactly. But I have some questions about the point where he talked about realizing God inward. So, he talked about how he realized God externally (this is what I related to so much) and then he talked about turning inward and realizing God inwardly. Well, I realized God externally (in the exact way he described) but at a different point in time when I turned inward, I didn't realize God I realized no self, nothingness, and infinity all in one swoop. And because I realized these together, it's like I went from ego-death to no self to self as infinity/nothingness in like a nanosecond. But I knew this wasn't realizing myself as god because although I felt these things as me I still had this lingering feeling of how I didn't know how it was me. Then later I realized myself as Awareness and how awareness is the only thing that could possibly exist. And because awareness is aware, it could never not be aware or 'die'. I still feel like this isn't realizing God. And so I think I am confused on what 'God' even means. Because when I look at reality externally I clearly see God. But if I turned inward, it's like all of a sudden I have a different interpretation of God that is the 'man in the sky' and I cannot identify with that so there's like this block of realizing God inwardly or something. But it's weird because I don't think of God like that when I am looking at it externally I just see God as Reality. I also have realized oneness, life as a dream, and how you are the Creator of this dream (maybe this is my version of God?). One day, I just woke up with extreme clarity on how everything external was one and a reflection of what is internal. And how what is internal (for me it feels like nothingness/infinity) is so elusive and undefined that it is reflected back to itself as 'something' to represent itself in whatever way. In other words, 'something' is reflected from nothing in order to understand or show what nothing is or could be. But it's all happening simultaneously so it's all really just imagination. Idk I guess this is all besides the point. What I am really wondering is if realizing yourself as infinity is the same thing as realizing you are God? What was said on Realizing Scale What Leo describes as realizing Scale (when he talks about the hair follicles on his arm) I have not realized this at all. I have realized– though– No Space. I don't know if that is even a thing but when I realized God externally I realized that there is no such thing as space. It's like when I go on a walk, I have this whole new worldview that I don't actually get closer to anything as I 'move' towards it. But just that those things get bigger or smaller in appearance. It's definitely psychedelic-like I think although I've never had a psychedelic experience. It's like I say to myself, "Are you really getting closer to that tree? Or is the tree's imagery just getting bigger?" That's how I feel now when I go on my walks. haha. It's like I'm walking around as an avatar in a video game. Not all of the time but only when I choose to focus on it without trying too hard. It's like there's no space or even atmosphere. It's all just sucked out of the 'bubble' of oneness so to speak.

I would just let things flow. The more you enjoy it now the more you will attract it in your life <3 people like to give.

Oh wow Okay.

oh wow. yes, that's horrifying Ah, I see.

You can't make sacrifice the core of your definition of Love. Like, "I know this person loves me if they would sacrifice themselves for me." Can you see how unloving this feels when you are on the other end of it? It feels unloving because it feels like a condition– because it is one. "I will love you if..." "I know you will love me if..." That's not true love. True love is: "I am going to give you whatever I can; whatever I am capable of giving. And if I can't give it to you I am going to give it to myself so one day I can share it with you." You see, if you believe sacrifice signifies love it is because you sacrifice yourself for the people you love. It might seem– in the moment– like giving up your needs so you can give or help another person is the most loving thing to do. You might even do it without them asking because the feeling of love towards them makes you want to do it anyway. Love will do that to you; it makes you want to share it with another person. But you– Mom– you don't share it you just give it away. Do you see? Giving is not sharing. You cannot share with someone when you are taking it away from yourself. That is not what sharing is. I never thought I would be teaching my mom about sharing. hehehe. But think about it like this... Picture a little girl giving her toy– that she loves– away to another little girl she is playing with. Now, this is a sad scene from an outsider. You just see sadness wash over the little girl's body as she gives her favorite toy away. Because she thinks it is the 'loving' thing to do. But how unloving is this towards herself? This is what she is missing. She is not seeing the big picture of Love. As a parent or a teacher, you might say, "No don't give away what you love. Share what you love by sharing the happiness it gives you with this other person. Because sharing your happiness is the best thing you can share with someone." If you give away your love, your love is gone. You will feel only the void it left which makes you resentful and angry, maybe even a little confused (because you thought giving it away would bring you more love). But now, the only thing you can give is hate because someone took what you love. Except, nobody took anything. You gave it away by taking it from yourself and now you are hating yourself for it and blaming the person you gave it to. When you make sacrifice the definition of love, one person or the other will lose. Either you give and lose or you keep and they lose. You either take away from yourself or take away from the other person. You are constantly playing a win-lose scenario which is really a lose-lose scenario because the love is gone. You are not sharing love in connection with another person; you are forever creating disconnection by creating this dynamic. Disconnection is not Love. Love is together not apart. Love is joined not separate. Love is shared not given and received. Love is not a transaction, it is union.

You can't make sacrifice the core of your definition of Love. Like, "I know this person loves me if they would sacrifice themselves for me." Can you see how unloving this feels when you are on the other end of it? It feels unloving because it feels like a condition– because it is one. "I will love you if..." "I know you will love me if..." That's not true love. True love is: "I am going to give you whatever I can; whatever I am capable of giving. And if I can't give it to you I am going to give it to myself so one day I can share it with you." You see, if you believe sacrifice signifies love it is because you sacrifice yourself for the people you love. It might seem– in the moment– like giving up your needs so you can give or help another person is the most loving thing to do. You might even do it without them asking because the feeling of love towards them makes you want to do it anyway. Love will do that to you; it makes you want to share it with another person. But you– Mom– you don't share it you just give it away. Do you see? Giving is not sharing. You cannot share with someone when you are taking it away from yourself. That is not what sharing is. I never thought I would be teaching my mom about sharing. hehehe. But think about it like this... Picture a little girl giving her toy– that she loves– away to another little girl she is playing with. Now, this is a sad scene from an outsider. You just see sadness wash over the little girl's body as she gives her favorite toy away. Because she thinks it is the 'loving' thing to do. As a parent or a teacher, you might say, "No don't give away what you love. Share what you love by sharing the happiness it gives you with this other person. Share your happiness because it is the best thing you can share with someone." If you give away your love, your love is gone. You feel only the void it left which makes you resentful and angry, maybe even a little confused (because you thought giving it away would bring you more love). But now, the only thing you can give is hate because someone took what you love. Except, nobody took anything. You gave it away by taking it from yourself and now you are hating yourself for it and blaming the person you gave it to. When you make sacrifice the definition of love, one person or the other will lose. Either you give and lose or you keep and they lose. You either take away from yourself or take away from the other person. You are constantly playing a win-lose scenario which is really a lose-lose scenario because the love is gone. You are not sharing love in connection with another person; you are forever creating disconnection by creating this dynamic. Disconnection is not Love. Love is together not apart. Love is joined not separate. Love is shared not given and received. Love is not a transaction, it is union.

How does everyone feel about Oprah? I'm only asking because my mom always calls me to tell me about her stuff (Oprah's content on 'enlightenment') and idk why it just pisses me off. And then I feel guilty & filled with 'judgment' because I am judging. haha. idk, what do you guys think? I really don't even know anything about Oprah, only what my mom tells me. So maybe I am really just annoyed with my mom and potentially her spiritual bypassing? idk there just seems to be a sense of pride there that gets under my skin when it's surrounded by such pure concepts. I think I have a core belief that mainstream ideology is toxic because I was raised with this kind of media we are dealing with (and Oprah is obviously mainstream). Either people are misconstruing the concepts which pisses me off or I am misconstruing them which is pissing off my higher self. LOL!

Sometimes I feel like I am the last one on Earth to realize what I AM. The last one on Earth to wake up. It's like everyone is telling me to join them. To join them in this field of everythingness, in infinity. "Come to us," says infinity. Well, I can't right now. I can't because I don't understand. "Do you need to?" says infinity. Well, no I guess I don't need to. But I would like to so it is less scary jumping in. "Well, maybe..." says infinity, "that's the point. The point is to not understand so you can let the understanding come to you. If you are in search for understanding, what you will find will only be other than what you are." How so? "What you are cannot be found, it can only be felt. Granted, what you are is everything so anything you find will technically be you. But you do not have the awareness to see this yet. Not if you are still thinking in fear." I see that. But isn't understanding what we are here for? A greater understanding of ourselves, greater understanding of the universe, and thus, greater understanding of our potential? "Well, yes. But you are missing the way you understand– which is by becoming. You understand by being– and thus– feeling. You know this! You've done it multiple times. The best way to know yourself is to feel yourself, not to think about yourself." Okay universe, I trust you. "Well, don't," says infinity, "only trust yourself."

Communication Studies 100%. Not Communications (like broadcasting/journalism) but the actual study of communicative behavior. So much personal development there.

Hm, interesting! I don't think it's bad at all. Your hyper-awareness of the clingy/neediness will not allow you to become overly clingy and needy. In fact, it might cause resistance to it like what it is doing right now. It sounds like this resistance is really fear– not of becoming 'clingy' or 'needy'– but of becoming dependent. I would say to dig in to why you believe being dependent is wrong if this rings true for you. A lot of us in the personal development field view dependency as the enemy. But we often forget how dependent of a species we are in general. Giraffes can stand on their feet after 30 minutes of birth. We would die on the street after 30 minutes of birth if we were not attended to. We depend on each other. We depend on food, water, money, on plants and animals. It is okay to rely on each other for resources. We already do this. Let yourself go into the affection and passion without the fear of getting lost in it. I don't think it's weird to switch up like this. I think it's growth, openness, and more growth.

keep exploring <3

LOL!!

"Just relax, calm down, just listen to what I am saying– click the red X" Hahaha. "You have to explain every step like you are defusing a bomb" LOL!!

How are you in relationships? I know this seems like it has nothing to do with it but it does in certain ways.