Gianna

Well, a belief is just a repeated thought. Like, very repeated. Repeated so much it becomes a subconscious program. Why is repetition so important to the Universe? Anyway, so the question should really be: Why does a repeated thought turn into a feeling? Hm. Maybe because it builds frequency? Let's bring it home to ourselves– we are a repeated thought, after all. And because of that we are manifested. We are nothing but a thought-form, an expression of God consciousness creating experiences of ourselves so we can transcend them. Why do we continuously want to transcend ourselves? Why do we desire to transcend even the highest of experiences? C'mon you know this. How do you go through infinity? Your nature is infinite. How do you exercise your nature? How do you express yourself? There is always more potential to reveal. There is always more imagination to play out. There is always more variations of loving yourself– of exploring yourself and discovering yourself all over again.

So lately I've been feeling a lot of surface symptoms like anger, sadness, etc. But I have not been able to get down to the root of my vulnerability/fears. This song has been popping up for me a ton recently, specifically the lines: Even if it isn't real I wanna hear it. Pour my heart out on the floor and now it's leaking ... I don't care if it was all pretend I wanna feel it. I couldn't understand what these lyrics were pointing to although they were repeating over and over in my mind when I was trying to be still. But today– after waking up from an intense dream that stirred up a lot of deep emotions– I finally hear them. I finally see them. I finally get it. I should've known it was my inner child (deep seeded/stored emotions) wanting to be released. It's hard because you can understand root feelings and fears on an intellectual level but they cannot break open your heart and enlighten you unless they are felt. I don't know why my body won't let me feel these vulnerabilities and fears. Obviously it is an act of deception. Yet I am also showing myself the way through music. I am both torturing and enlightening myself. Music is such a great release for feelings, understanding, and clarity. Although I think this song is kind of annoying, it really explains how these emotions that are alive and well within me are feeling:

Haha. that's good! depending on how often you hung out during that time.

Actually you know what it would be really nice if the guy withheld for the girl. That would be amazinggg.

If I'm attracted to someone I just want to have sex with them. But I think building up intimacy makes sex 10x better so waiting is good but it's hard but it's good

I have a problem withholding sex tbh but I want to get better at this!

@RickyFitts oh my gosh this is beautiful.

I guess I'm asking because I assume a lot of devilry in myself "just in case" I'm hurting someone but then this turns into self-blame which feels shameful I think. idk! what does shame feel like in your body?

Does feeling your devilry make you feel shameful? Or does the understanding negate that?

Wow this is amazing. TY!

I did Viome and it has been helping me a ton. It's basically a gut intelligence exam where they analyze your gut bacteria and give you a personalized food plan specifically for your microbiome. You may think you are eating healthy but if your stomach is acidic and then you're eating spinach thinking it's healthy you are actually terrorizing your gut.

Yeah that'd be cool

HAHA. You got this!!!

when you put love of 'others' over self-love, you create suffering. it is all love essentially, but suffering brings you back to your self-love. In this way you can see how suffering is love (it is an attempt from yourself to yourself to love yourself). it is love.

woah wow. that's art right there.

Oh that's beautiful nailed it.

@Tyler Durden Whatever you desire <3 All that I am really pointing to is Love (I think that's obvious). But why I am saying to ask yourself why. Why her? Is because this: what do we love? We love the things we see ourselves in. And no this is not an egoic self-admiration thing. This is God. God IS Love. We are living in a dream yes– as @Leo Gura describes. But what is this dream? It is a 360 mirroring hologram of ourselves. Of God. Of LOVE. We are living in the heart of God.

@Tyler Durden I mean that when you are trying to go after something (masculinity) it can't come to you. If you let yourself receive (femininity) it comes to you. And no, you are already complete. I'm just saying in this particular moment of your inquiry, be feminine. Let yourself receive your own inquiry. inquiry = masculinity receiving = femininity both are done by you.

God is Creator. but what does it create out of? Creates out of Love. It's just whether or not you have the perspective to see it. If you don't it will look like devilry. Like, "oh I'm punishing myself by keeping me asleep". No. You want to be awake just as much as YOU do. Everything you do is to communicate to yourself. Everything you do is to know yourself. Are you listening? Are you seeing? Are you feeling? Are you learning? If not you are running out of program and doing it all wrong. Your intuition knows. Your heart knows.

Keep loving

No hahaha. And no to Leo too. Open up your heart. Embrace your femininity in this particular moment. Allow yourself to receive (perceive). Like a submissive woman. Take it. You gave it to yourself hehe. now take it. It's like you fucked yourself, now let yourself be fucked.

@Tyler Durden @Leo Gura Okay fellas. Forget about God for a moment jeez. This is about LOVE. hehehe. You can always come back to God later You did not "create her to keep you asleep." You created her to WAKE YOU UP. So ask yourself. WHY. WHY her?? What are you trying to show yourself?

Now ask why again. Why did you love her the most?

@Tyler Durden hmmmm Makes you think doesn't it. Now ask yourself WHY? Why her? There's a golden nugget there for you to find.