Gianna

I actually recently took up interest in a wall— his emptiness is peaceful to me. It’s actually really healing for me to have someone there without anything inside of them; no intention, no control, no manipulation. Find a girl who has been controlled, manipulated, and abused by men. She’ll fall in love with you, I promise. You could also find someone who has a lot of energy and needs someone to let it all out on. Like a chatterbox type of person that just needs somebody to listen. Your empty presence will be healing for this type of person as well. You have something to offer by having nothing to offer, trust me. It’s incredibly healing for someone like me, for instance. You just have to find them— a kind of symbiotic relationship where opposites emerge. If someone is getting mad at you for having nothing to say, it’s because they also have nothing to say and it’s triggering for them to have to come up with saying something. If you find someone who has endless things to say, that won’t happen. In fact, you just receiving them will be heaven for them. They’ll love you, they’ll come to need you. You’re needed. You’re rare. In the best way. I’m telling you.

Sorry @Blackhawk! Yes we will take it somewhere else. I can see how it’s saddening to see when you feel disconnected.

hehehe. Wow, that is amazing. Quite beautiful actually. But I get not recommending it. It's like instead of going up you go all the way down (a place most people will never touch) and then you come out the other end, haha. Suffering turned to bliss, as you say. Mh, yes. It is a lot of effort. What does resistance feel like to you? I get that in the body it feels like tension and tightness. But what goes on in your mind in the moments of resistance? This is something I'm trying to get a grasp on myself. Because my mind runs so fast and through so many different things it's like I get lost and so become disconnected and confused. It's like a searching for answers instead of letting the body tell you the answers/what it needs.

Woah, how interesting! Yeah, it's kind of weird how something shifts and you don't know what or how. And because you don't know what or how it seems like it was not your doing– kind of a peculiar feeling. Do you think this was an emotional transmutation? Following a release of resistance?

4 years ago.. Wow, I'm very sorry this has been such a long journey for you. I can't imagine the pain but yet strength you must have undergone to get to today. Sending you cosmic love and good fortune.?

Hm, do you think this is freeze? Or why do you think this happens? I'm asking because it's happening to my friend. It's like they want to say something but nothing comes to their mind, at all. It's just blank.

Oh man, this is so interesting and good to hear! Maybe I will have a breakthrough soon then hehe. Oh that's such a great great point! Probably why my trauma is unraveling now. haha!

@aetheroar hehehe, perfect response. I should've known. I guess I just rather study it than investigate my own beliefs because I can't figure out what beliefs are causing me to feel angry. People say anger is a 'powerless' thing but to me anger feels empowering, haha. At least more so than other negative emotions. So you saying anger is a representation of feeling trapped/not being able to escape resonates with me deeply. Like that's exactly it for me I'm so glad you wrote that. Which is why I want to understand more of it. So I must be having 'trap-like' beliefs. Beliefs that I feel like I want to escape from? I'll have to do more internal investigation/contemplation on this one– no one can do it for me. haha.

@Proserpina Oh, I completely agree. It's defeating and definitely makes you want to give up– like you say. Except you feel like you have no choice but to keep on trying because its your own happiness at stake. Haha. So you keep trying and trying. Except in the 'trying' you send the message that it's not here. And so the 'law of attraction' 'matches' that by not having it here. But what are you supposed to do, stop trying? Stop trying to change what's miserable? To 'love' what is when what is fucking sucks? Haha. It's a fucked cycle and I agree, it throws you in despair. That's why i think the conditions get worse before they get better– they get worse and worse and worse until you throw your hands up and just give up; give up the effort, the trying. And giving up kind of equates to acceptance in a way (not totally, but kind of. Like a, "whatever I'll just sit with this then" kind of thing) and so things can begin to change, somewhat! haha. I don't know actually I haven't gotten that far. For me, I think things are beginning to change because I'm giving up on certain people. So the suffering is alleviating a bit because I quit trying with those people. And so without the trying for those people the suffering with those people is gone. Bit by bit of course! It's not as easy as it sounds.

Wow, this is amazing. Where did you accumulate this beautiful information? Any books you suggest? Thanks for the post!!!

Some people will say we're one at the same time as refusing to become one with you. They won't see you, feel you, hear you. They won't step into your reality and acknowledge your truths because it's not 'right'. Right for who? "Oh, that's not you. That's not love. Stop acting like that. It's not benefitting me. It's not benefitting you. You're creating the 'wrong' reality." As if there was such a thing. As if there was such a thing as a 'wrong' reality or a 'wrong' truth. As if there's any difference between Love and Indifference. There's nothing more indifferent than a mirror. And yet, what could be more unconditionally loving and present than a mirror with its reflection? A mirror will reflect anything you put in front of it– it's indifferent. And yet, it becomes so intimately one with its reflection there's no greater representation of love. Love is becoming one with something. It's union. If you're in a place like hell do you think people will become one with you? Hell no. But Hell is just disconnection. It's the place where you need connection the most but it's also the place you're never going to get it because no one will connect with you there. It's just a misunderstanding. But still. People will spit out all of this spiritual ideology and spiritual truths to try to get you out of there while not even recognizing they're putting you in there because they're refusing to connect with you. It's quite ironic. They're trying to get you out of this place that's so 'wrong' to them because it makes them uncomfortable. They love you so much they want you out of there but they don't love you enough to connect with you while you're in there– which is what would end the hell. All it takes is someone being willing to see you. But they can't look at you, not like that, not in that state.

Exactly. And so much ignorance comes from that– from people talking about places they've never been. This is where you get the, "Oh, don't you know your thoughts create reality? That you're actually just creating this experience yourself?" That's the most ignorant fucking thing you can say to someone in this place. But you wouldn't know that unless you've been there. Even though these people are technically right, it's not about being 'right' it's about actually knowing where someone is coming from. People are so disconnected from each other it actually makes me sick to my stomach. And yet, we're all one right.

@Valach Oh I see. Well, at least you’re aware of it.

@TK2021 for the record though, my past experiences contradict your statistics. My ex never slept with very many girls, and it ruined our relationship. He couldn’t stand the thought of not being with me. And yet, he also couldn’t stop imagining other girls, other experiences. Cause he had none! He was a loyal guy that couldn’t help but think disloyal thoughts— he opened up to me about it. And honestly, I don’t blame him. He’s barely lived any life. And it tormented him. I also know girls like this. But of course this isn’t always the case!

@TK2021 oh haha. Okay.

@RillesYou kind of know you’re not being understood when people invalidate you.. haha. So it’s not something you 'think', it's something that happens. It's not like a, “I THINK people misunderstand me”. It’s more like a, “I fucking know you don't understand me because you're spitting in my face and telling me that I'm wrong and that these experiences aren't happening. That it's 'just me'." Haha. Kind of like what you’re doing with me right now, "You really think out of 7 billion people no one can understand you. Come on man..." Haha. You have to keep in mind that the higher your consciousness level, the lower the probability of being understood— so that ‘7 billion people’ that you make sound so inevitably relateable dwindles quickly. So recognize that your response assumes surface-level understanding. Some people are trapped in depths that the vast majority of people aren’t even interested in— so can you see how lonely this could be? People not even desiring to connect with the most intimate parts of you? The parts where you need understanding the most? And yeah, not ‘everyone’ but the practical people of your day to day life. Once you're at certain places, most people aren’t even capable of understanding you at the depths you need them to and that’s not their fault but it doesn’t mean that it’s not fucking miserable and lonely. Disconnection is hell. You're right, there is 7 billion chances. But you better hope you have the resources to find those people and connect with them practically because the internet and forums can only go so far.

I love your honesty and awareness in your post! I would try to think about her past experiences like this: the last kind of person you want is someone with little sexual experience. These are the people who are still curious, who still have erotic desires, who will leave a committed relationship because they are 'not done being single.' Try to reframe your opinion towards her past to a positive one– that the experience she accumulated is what keeps your relationship safe. She– unlike other people– was actually single when she was single. She lived it out, she got it out of her system, and now she knows what she wants. She's safe. You, on the other hand, have this unlived past. If an erotic and tempting girl comes and throws herself on you, would you be tempted? Maybe not. But the point is, who do you think would have more constraint in a situation like this one? Someone who has lived out those realities and now sees through them, or a person who is still more curious and pent-up? You know what I mean? Haha. Perhaps you are the dangerous one

It doesn't matter what color skin you have, what size you are, what you look like, etc., imo relentless authenticity is what's attractive and how to "change people's minds" on their racist assumptions and stereotypes.

Authenticity.

No part of your mind is fucked up. Each part of your mind is trying to help you to survive in the best way it knows how. I would try to understand this part deeply. Ask her, what do you need? Love her, understand her, help her. It's not, "weird and creepy." It's love. She is desperate to keep you safe– can you see the love in that? That is all she's trying to do, keep you safe. Get in deep connection with her and tell her that you are already safe. That she doesn't have to fight for you anymore. Let her merge with you; become one with you. She has something beautiful inside of her that will unravel as soon as you let her in.

Haha. I love this response. So true.

From what I understand about attachment styles, a child with an avoidant personality type turns away from the parent because they feel consumed and defeated by the parent's identity. Essentially, the child's sense of self gets swallowed up by the parent. And so, they learn to be avoidant and dismissive with closeness because closeness means loss of the self. I would try to find out what uniquely defines this person. Do things that would accentuate their sense of self, their self-expression. What would bring out this person's identity, desires, needs, want, truths, etc? Once this person finds a solid and consistent sense of autonomy within the relationship (and over a fair length of time) they will naturally open up to closeness. I would make sure to not do anything overbearing to this person. Autonomy can only develop within a relationship to the degree that the relationship is secure. Make it apparent that the relationship is secure. While also making it apparent that this person can have themselves, and have you too.

This is hell right here. How it starts, and how it fortifies. No one is willing to step into your reality. No one. Not even for a second so as to– as you say– understand you. Not only that, but they try to convince you that your reality doesn't exist. This makes it 1,000X worse because it pushes you deeper into it. And no one will acknowledge you in it. It's neglect. And so the message you get is, "You're not worth it. You're not worth considering." It's the worst fucking thing you can experience and yet people don't even care– even when "they do." I'll be in hell with you @Blackhawk. I'm already there, lol. We can be in hell together.

Which scene was this from!? ? I didn’t catch that. Haha

Hahaha. Just thought I'd share with everyone.