It is important not to create a shadow out of selfishness.
Selfishness absolutely needs to exist, which is why it exists. Without selfishness you could not be alive.
Yes, turning selfishness into a "bad" is a trap.
Again, the point of awakening is to realize that nothing bad has ever existed, including of course selfishness, which is just what is meant by evil.
If you think selfishness is bad then that's equlivalent to saying that evil exists. Which of course is wrong.
But also notice the trick here: when someone behaves very selfishly towards you, you will not be able to stop yourself from calling it bad. So not demonizing selfishness is very, very advanced stuff. Most humans are nowhere close to that. Even spiritual humans will fail at it.
A better way to put it is that excessive selfishness is problematic and self-defeating while a healthy level of selfishness is appropriate and even necessary.

From Leo's Blog:
[...] If these sorts of posts seem odd or grifty to you, I'm making an effort to share my favorite products. Something simple and practical. Not everything is about philosophy. Sometimes your life is just improved by finding the right spatula, USB cable, or screwdriver. I am passionate about finding and sharing the perfect products. Finding a perfect product is one of life's simple joys. They are like physical life hacks that pay dividends for years to come. Finding perfect products is not trivial and takes work. I've made a mini hobby of it. Hell, you could make a whole career or LP out of it. I try to find the perfect song, the perfect paper towel, the perfect hot sauce, the perfect toothpaste, the perfect drinking glass, the perfect fork. Being a perfectionist is a curse but also has its benefits. So when I find the best stuff I share it here.
Let's keep the bar high and avoid posting mediocre or low-quality items. Make sure it's items you've actually tried. When you share, please include at least a brief description of what the item is and why you love it or what makes it great
---
One of my own finds to get the ball roling:
Instant Pot Pressure Cooker (2.7L for singles)

This pressure cooker features a high-quality stainless steel interior, a programmable timer for delayed cooking, and the ability to cook virtually anything quickly and efficiently. Perfect for lentils, rice, meat, soups, potatoes, and steamed vegetables (if you add a steam basket). It even cooks frozen foods without hassle.
Pressure cooking is one of the fastest ( and most likely retains the most nutrients) methods for cooking due to science! (It raises the boiling point of water from 100°C/212°F to around 120°C/250°F.) Plus, it's super easy to use, clean, and maintain, and it’s as safe as pressure cooking gets. If you prioritize raw nutrition and convenience over presentation, the Instant Pot is a game-changer for healthy eating. It saves time, effort, and even money by simplifying meal prep.
---

BONUS : Sagami 0'01 Condoms  as thin as a hair, polyurethane actually transfers temperature unlike latex, feels close to the real deal. Make sure your girl is adecuately moist to avoid rupture.
 
Share your finds below! Whether it's the perfect pair of headphones, an amazing cleaning product, or your fave warm socks, we want to hear about it.
---
Someone with spare time could recompile Leo's favorite finds into a separate post, and maybe we could pin it at the top of this section for easy access.

Yes! Excellent work. You will require some dozens of trips to work through your human emotional baggage before you are ready for the heavy metaphysical, reality-melting trips.
So stick consistently with your process, don't get ahead of your skiis, and a year or two from now you will be ready for full God-Realization.

You should also lock away your phone, car keys, and other dangerous objects.

Which is why you should use it sparingly, not like an always-online ape.

I know there is the famous 10 ox picture journey. But this can be further developed/improved with today's modern tools. 
I ask me if there is already a map of the psychedelic path out there or if we can create one here. Like reaching milestones. I make a first start (I know it can get better)
 first psychedelic handshake doses. Discover alternatives states of consciousness  first spiritual insights  Shadow work/purification  First ego death/transformations First Breakthrough on 5 Meo (Optional: Kundalini awakening ) Discover infinity  Discover immortality  Discover god Discover Madness God realization Infinite love awakening  Integration into sober life( seeing beauty, love , unity) Deep understanding how universe works on metaphysical level  Alien mind? ...
 
 

Hi Nemra
I wonder if looking into the topic of "Autodidacticism" - which is Self-education as in education without the guidance of masters (Old days) and in our modern time it is without professors  and/or institutions - would help?
Here I can speak with experience as I have lived as an Autodidact and a Polymath. Polymaths are often autodidacts.
Here is a list of famous autodidacts:
Abraham Lincoln
Albert Einstein - taught himself algebra, Euclidean geometry, and calculus when he was 12. He also independently discovered his own original proof of the Pythagorean theorem, and he had worked through a geometry textbook he was given by his family tutor, Max Talmud.[64] When Einstein was 14 years old he says he had "mastered integral and differential calculus".
Allan Watts
Alfred Russel Wallace (Co-discoverer of Natural-Selection with Darwin)
Benjamin Franklin
Bill Gates
Bruce Springsteen
Buckminster Fuller
David Bowie
Edison
Elon Musk
Ernest Hemingway
Frank Loyd Wright
Frank Zappa
Galileo
Gustave Eiffel – The engineer who designed and built the Eiffel Tower
Henry Ford
Hermann Hesse
Jimi Hendrix
Johnny Depp
Julian Assange
Karl Marx
Le Corbusier
Leonardo DaVinci
Mark Twain
Malcolm X
Michael Faraday
Neil Peart
Nikola Tesla
Oprah Winfrey
Orson Welles
Russell Crowe
Sean Parker - Former President of Facebook,
Steve Jobs
Steven Spielberg
The Wright Brothers
Van Halen
Vincent Willem van Gogh
Walt Disney
William Blake
This list should tell you that Autodidactism is much more common than what one would assume. It often emerges from the lower and working class of society, where formal education is an unattainable luxury – although this is far from being a rule. An autodidacts will not let an obstacle such as a lack of financial resources stop him from learning. Until the advent of the Internet, Libraries were an important source of freely accessible knowledge. And the Internet is the new catalyst bringing to fruition the golden-age of autodidactism.
When one is young it is very difficult to know if Autodidactism is one's call. For me it was much later in life that I figured this out about my learning-style.
Here is a list of some of the personality characteristics that are more or less typical of autodidacts:
Self-motivated and NOT correlating learning to earning a degree: An autodidact is driven by passion, self-discipline, and internally-sourced interest to engage consistently in his studies. His motivation for the acquisition of knowledge is not for the pride of owning degrees or titles, or from pressures imposed by an external authority; but for the sake of knowledge itself.
Curious: Autodidacts have a strong desire to learn about the world and the various subjects they’re pursuing.
Disciplined: They hold themselves accountable to do the readings and work that they promise themselves they will do.
Systematic: Autodidacts study plans are internally formed and self-directed. Rarely they follow a rigid methodology of learning; but rather an elastic and malleable structure that is spontaneously and naturally formed, and which is adaptive to the continuously changing circumstances of life.
Goal-Oriented and Focused: Autodidact naturally set learning goals to guide their studies and their study plan. Being focused on something is not a part-time state of mind, but a continuous way of being.
Resourceful: They know how to find study materials, often free or affordable ones, that will help them reach their goals.
Natural Learner, fast and efficient who has a passion for diving deep into a subject with a great ability for absorption and and above average retention: Rarely an autodidact will be content with a ‘little’ knowledge, or a superficial degree of knowledge. Typically they strive for the core knowledge, and for the most advanced knowledge on a subject. Being on the cutting edge of a subject is natural for an autodidact.
Stands above & beyond the paradigm of ‘victimization’: Typically, an autodidact has no time, not even an instant, to feel sorry for himself. Being paralyzed by a sense of victimization is not a state on the palette of Autodidactism. Any and all obstacles that stands in the way of an autodidact is perceived as a welcomed challenge, and an opportunity to learn something new, or to learn something more deeply. An autodidact continuously shifts the obstacles that continuously emerges into a series of opportunities that shapes one’s life. Where most see complications, the mind of an autodidact sees avenues of potentials.
Life-long learner: An autodidact does stop being one. He or she does not retire at one point in her or his life from the pursuit of knowledge.
Polymath: Rare an autodidact limits himself to a single subject of knowledge
 
There are some advantages to being an autodidact - one being to choose the subject of study, their studying material, and the studying rhythm and time.
Autodidacts may or may not combine formal education, as a complement avenue of learning.
 
The horizon of Autodidacticism has been transformed by the advent of the Internet. As one of the effect of the Internet - A robust Fact-Checking ability has become an essential skill and a requisite for Autodidacticism. In our modern time an Autodidact must know how to detect and recognize misinformation and disinformation - which is prevalent in the medias BUT also exist in a very special form within some scientific fields - especially those of medicine; nutrition; climate-science; among others.
In fields like Art and Craftsmanship there are huge advantages to be an Autodidact.
...And Autodidactism is also a subject of Philosophy :-)!
 
... if you are an Autodidact type of learner you will not escape that destiny... 

I can offer a diverse sampling of ontological viewpoints through the lens of a chicken crossing the road. This exercise will showcase how different philosophical traditions might interpret this simple action. Let's dive in:
1. Platonic Idealism:
The chicken crosses an imperfect shadow of the ideal "road" that exists in the realm of Forms.
2. Aristotelian Realism:
The chicken's essence as a "road-crosser" is actualized through the act of crossing.
3. Cartesian Dualism:
"I think, therefore I cross." The chicken's mind directs its physical body across the material road.
4. Berkeleyan Idealism:
The road exists only in the mind of the chicken and the observers. If no one perceives it, does the crossing occur?
5. Kantian Transcendental Idealism:
The chicken experiences the phenomenal appearance of crossing the road, but the noumenal reality remains unknowable.
6. Hegelian Dialectic:
The chicken (thesis) meets the road (antithesis), resulting in crossing (synthesis).
7. Nietzschean Perspectivism:
The chicken creates its own meaning by willing itself across the road, embracing the eternal recurrence of road-crossing.
8. Sartrean Existentialism:
The chicken is condemned to be free and must create its own essence through the authentic act of crossing.
9. Heideggerian Phenomenology:
The chicken's "being-in-the-world" is revealed through its engagement with the road as ready-to-hand equipment for crossing.
10. Wittgensteinian Language Games:
The meaning of "crossing the road" is determined by its use in the language game of chicken behavior.
11. Quantum Mechanics Interpretation:
The chicken exists in a superposition of states, both having crossed and not crossed, until observed.
12. Buddhist Emptiness (Śūnyatā):
The chicken, the road, and the act of crossing are all empty of inherent existence, arising dependently.
13. Taoist Perspective:
The chicken crosses without crossing, embodying wu wei (non-action) in harmony with the Tao.
14. Whiteheadian Process Philosophy:
The chicken's crossing is a series of momentary occasions of experience, continuously becoming and perishing.
15. Derridean Deconstruction:
The binary opposition of "this side" and "that side" of the road is problematized by the chicken's crossing.
These perspectives offer a glimpse into how different philosophical traditions might approach the ontological question of a chicken crossing the road. Each view provides a unique lens on the nature of existence, reality, and the relationship between subject and object.
Would you like me to elaborate on any of these perspectives or explore additional ontological viewpoints?
16. Leibnizian Monadology:
The chicken is a monad, containing within itself the entire universe of road-crossing possibilities.
17. Spinozan Pantheism:
The chicken, the road, and the crossing are all modes of a single, divine substance.
18. Humean Empiricism:
We can observe the chicken's constant conjunction with road-crossing, but can't prove necessary connection.
19. Lockean Representationalism:
The chicken's idea of "road" is a representation formed from its sensory experiences of crossing.
20. Marxist Historical Materialism:
The chicken's road-crossing is determined by the material conditions of poultry production.
21. Foucauldian Discourse Analysis:
The chicken's crossing is shaped by societal power structures and discourses about poultry mobility.
22. Kuhnian Paradigm Shift:
The chicken revolutionizes "normal poultry science" by proposing a new paradigm of road-crossing.
23. Popperian Falsificationism:
"All chickens cross roads" is scientific only if we can conceive of a chicken that doesn't cross.
24. Pragmatism (James/Dewey):
The truth of the chicken's crossing is determined by its practical consequences.
25. Phenomenology (Merleau-Ponty):
The chicken's embodied experience of the road shapes its perception and crossing behavior.
26. Structuralism (Lévi-Strauss):
The chicken's crossing reveals underlying structures of avian-road relations in cultural systems.
27. Post-structuralism (Barthes):
The meaning of the chicken's crossing is constantly deferred, never fully present.
28. Simulated Reality (Bostrom):
The chicken, road, and crossing might all be part of a computed simulation.
29. Stoicism:
The chicken crosses with virtuous indifference, accepting its fate as determined by the logos.
30. Epicureanism:
The chicken crosses seeking ataraxia, free from the anxiety of staying on one side.
31. Skepticism (Pyrrhonian):
We must suspend judgment about whether the chicken truly crossed or why.
32. Solipsism:
Only the chicken's mind is sure to exist; the road and crossing may be figments of its imagination.
33. Logical Positivism:
The chicken's crossing is meaningful only if it can be empirically verified.
34. Critical Theory (Frankfurt School):
The chicken's crossing reveals and challenges the oppressive structures of road-based society.
35. Feminist Standpoint Theory:
The chicken's crossing must be understood from its situated perspective as a layer or broiler.
36. Postmodernism (Lyotard):
The grand narrative of road-crossing is rejected in favor of local, contextual chicken movements.
37. Actor-Network Theory (Latour):
The chicken's crossing is a network of actants including the road, traffic, and cultural norms.
38. Object-Oriented Ontology (Harman):
The road, chicken, and crossing withdraw from full access, harboring hidden depths.
39. New Materialism (Barad):
The chicken and road intra-act, mutually constituting each other through material-discursive practices.
40. Speculative Realism (Meillassoux):
We can think the chicken's crossing as it exists independent of chicken or human thought.
This expanded list further illustrates the diverse ways philosophical traditions approach questions of existence, reality, and being. Each perspective offers a unique lens on the seemingly simple act of a chicken crossing a road, revealing the complexity and depth of ontological inquiry.
Would you like me to continue with more examples, or perhaps dive deeper into any specific perspective?

Realistically for me it only happens on an intense hardcore meditation retreat.
If you're just busy with normal life it's hard to stop it.

That's exactly right.
And you can have even deeper, even fuller God-Realizations.

I've never made a post on here but I had to share this report as it's one of the most profound experiences of my life 
Background - I have been curious about the nature of reality since the age of 5. When I came across leo in 2016 the info resonated. In 2017 I had my first awakening sober. It was an epiphany into realising I am the whole immortal universe looking through my eyes and I was never the ego.
2019 I started getting into psyches. I tripped a lot and eventually stopped watching leo as much. I have had probably over 150 psychedelic experiences by now as sometimes I found I'd like to trip recreationally and also microdose.
Recently -
My focus in recent years was more on my actual life rather than spiritual. I ordered some microdose pills after a year of being sober from any kind of drug and never planned on tripping. I found them to be helpful from time to time to pick me up and help me stay motivated. To my suprise they where very strong and one pill was the strengh of more than a gram. Just last night i really went back and fourth on having a full trip. Whenever I tried to tell myself they where just for microdosing a voice would tell me "where has your child like curiosity is gone? you used to love tripping!" Eventually I caved and decided it was time for another and to go all out. I took 6 pills and smoked a joint and approached the experience with wonder like i was young again and just started.
TRIP REPORT -
As it started to come on I immediately let go and opened myself to embrace what was to come with wonder. From past experience I have learnt how to feel the feeling that this is gonna be a good trip. Not something you can force but a feeling you dance yourself into as you surf the waves of consciousness.
I had an intuition that was strong to walk across town at night a few miles to a park with a lake. This didn't feel safe as I was only an hour in at this point and was completely losing grasp on reality yet I felt the oneness of everything ensuring me that i would be safe if i didn't cave into fear and had faith in myself as the whole universe.
I started walking and something incredibly weird happened. I saw a man walking near me going down the street in front of me and I coward in fear to turn back but yet something communicated with me and told me I need to carry on and confront my fear to realise that there is no fear and trust my gut. I went down a different ally way and came across the same man and walked past him like i somehow new I would. The crazy part is that there where many different streets this man could have walked down and I walked around a whole block to avoid him and yet still walked past him. Almost as if the universe was directly guiding me to confront what I was supposed to, like i was connected to some level of omnicience and in synch with a higher more infinite mind connected to everything. At this point I knew I could trust my faith in whatever was guiding me. My intuition was unquestionable and i felt calm. 
Just past an hour in I started to feel like I was connected to other bubbles of consciousness like the individual consciousnesses of everyone I knew eventually realising everyone is part of one consciousness like an akoshic library (this opened my mind to the possibility of telepathy) 
This was an odd trip as it had 2 peaks. 
I reached the first peak an hour and 15 mins in. This was one of the most profound shocking moments of my life. As i was walking up this long road all separation ceased and I saw everything as one entity. Me. Consciousness. God. It was all conscious and alive and one being. I walked with utter shock that this was all a dream. No different than sleeping at night. It was all a dream! A dream that I was layers and layers and layers and LAYERS stuck in; when in my sober state. I once came slightly close to this realisation in the past and freaked out having a traumatic nightmare of a trip but since by this time I have had enough experience with exploring consciousness I manage to turn what would cause an inexperienced person to have a mental breakdown into an incredibly awesome and peaceful experience; embracing the fact that this is a dream. In fact this understanding helped me because I was aware with the intensity of this peak that it could snap into a million different nightmares at any second, but being aware that this was a dream gave me a feeling of lucidity that I could control with ease. I had a feeling of infinite power I have never experience in my life. I can't stress enough that this experience was indistinguishable from a lucid dream (just felt more real) and absolutely undeniable that this is the nature of consciousness. 
This experience opened my mind to the idea of conscious manifestation. Something implausible from a sober state but impossible not to be possible from this state. This also resonated with neville goddards work which I recently have been getting into. 
This peak gave me insight into my own life and made me aware that in my sober life ive been going around like a hamster on a wheel trapped in the labyrinth of this dream without being aware of it and that the ultimate way out would be to change my identity and entire belief system in my sober state in order to progress foward in life; as your subconscious mind is the ultimate operating system and keeps you in the same type of dream out of many different dreams/life's you can live. The insight here is that your subconscious is a deep iceberg that is directly connected to the dream/life you're experiencing, but to many degrees more than what is described in many books. 
As this trip progressed to the second peak; this song came on, on my head phones that reminded me of this girl from the past. I felt an ocean of many intense emotions I still had for her and then was blown away by awakening to the fact that I created her perfectly, in fact I realised I created everyone and everything in my life perfectly, including my parents and myself and I did so out of pure love. (I'm even tearing up as I'm writting this) my heart burst out into waves of intense love and I tried not to make a mess of myself balling my eyes out walking the streets at half 1 at night. The feeling of love and awe almost knocked me off my feet. 
I realised that reality is nothing but states of consciousness, and that sulotions, answers and manifestations can only be accomplished through a certain state of consciousness first. With this insight i felt infinite power to create and manifest everything and anything i ever wanted, yet had too much love for everything to change anything dispite being stuck in a rut and dissatisfied with my sober life. (Of course a sober life sounded ridiculous form this state)
As the 2nd peak hit the visuals became very intense and time slowed to feel like I was walking for centuries. Everything became loosy goosy with wacky hallucinations like a dreamy wonderland, I had a desire to dance to the music playing in my headphones. To celebrate the infinity that I am, and explore many imaginary versions of myself that I could choose from. I felt like I was in complete god mode but that I was always in god mode just asleep to it in other states. This part of the trip was fun and somewhat recreational. 
After I while I realised I didn't have water with me and was convinced that I was dying of first even though i drank a gallon before I set off. It was miles away from my home and I lost concept of distance so I started getting pulled into an intense thought loop that I was gonna die due to thirst mid trip. This ended when I realised I was one with god and to trust in god, and as I did all my anxiety melted away and I somehow didn't feel as thirsty. This gave me clear insight into letting go of fear and trusting intuitively in faith. 
As I got to the park where I planned to go it was like my entire reality had changed though not for the better or worse I still felt euphoric. It was a change in scenery so different from the streets I felt id entered another diemention. The sun was rising also. 
I noticed that the trees and the lake had the presence of a women and then had insight into the masculine feminine duality of reality or consciousness. The sunrise over the lake and trees was the most jawdropping beauty I had ever seen. The reflection of the lake felt like another entire cosmos in reverse going on for another infinity (maybe it is) everything was orchestrated in the most intelligent and elegant way possible like god is a master artist. 
I kept seeing reality from multiple perspectives at once only to realise that reality can be perceived from an infinity of perspectives. I was staggered by the absolute infinity of all of reality/consciousness.
I left the park after what felt like an eternity only to realise I was only 2 hours in which was another mindfuck in it of itself. 
I heard an attractive female voice on the song playing and realised that everything in the universe is composed of different vibrations and frequencies that work to created this well orchestrated universe we live in. (I've heard this said before many times but now it's obvious) I realised that maybe law of attraction people are on to something because everything is vibration. The reason you find things / people attractive and other things / people repulsive is because theyre vibration either resonates or doesnt with yours. Like a man vibrating masculine energy is attracted to a women vibrating feminine energy and vice versa, and that its possible to alter your own vibration and change what you attract. 
I don't want to keep going on because there where too many micro insights, but after this 2 hour and a half mark the trip started to comedown and thoughts of my ego started to come back. I guess I was going back into the dream. As i did though i had my face smeared into all the parts about myself that I didn't want to look at. It was so bad it almost made me wanna move town and start a new life. Obvioisly not gonna make any rash decisions as of yet. Today I am left with much to integrate from this behemoth of a trip and still feel very emotional. I guess what im left with to go on is to let go of all the resistance and thoughts holding me back and embrace the love that the universe is naturally vibrating at and is always being thrown everyones way just everyone is too blind and caught up in their own traumas insecurities and subconscious programming to see it so we all block it out and carry on causing problems. 
That's all for now if anyone has made it this far and is reading this thanks for taking the time and much love...
 
 

If you want a categorical improvement in your happiness that cannot be achieved through any achievement, you just sit down now and be happy by being present.

Short answer is no. There is no free lunch. All these chemicals deteriorate your brain over time with lots of use. So use them sparingly.
Psychedelics are not free. You are paying for it with your health. Making you grok that. Just because you have an epic loving experience of God does not mean it was healthy for your body. Don't get fooled by that.
Ketamine is certainly not good for you long term.

I am beggining to suspect how Yoga works, particularly pure physical Hatha Yoga. (Not talking about energy process such as kriyas, but merely what is called as 'Asanas'.)
What is Yoga. Well, you have to do a lot to start understanding it. I have done some Asanas more than 1000 times.
For example, I suspect Cat Stretch I´ve done it about 1200-1300 times. Maybe 1500 times. I´m not sure. So Is not like I´m talking from nothing. 
It seems exaggerated but understanding really what Yoga is does take some time. 
At first I believed the intention of Asanas was to clear and calm the mind in order for a higher perception or consciousness to happen, but that is a very basic understanding. 
After some time a whole new possibility opens up. Something much much much more profound of what you thought at the beggining Yoga was. 
When doing an Asana properly, the belief or feeling of individuality is dissolved (yeah, that goes for all of you solipsistic dudes out there).
Why it dissolves is not because it does something to the brain. 
Is because physically and energetically you are putting your body in such a way that is completely in synchrony and symmetry with Reality. 
Is not that you unite yourself with Reality. Is that the body merges and dissolves right there.
It was already 'dissolved' in the first place. You were already in Unity or 'One' with reality in the first place. But, the usual asymmetry of the human system, which in part is necessary for the process of survival (let´s remember, survival is about you vs me), makes it like you are not.. 
So it is created a sense of individuality through the life of a human. And most humans never break or dissolve this sense of individuality.
Notice im saying 'sense'. Individuality is not a reality. Is not a fact. It is just a sense, a compression that is formed. But if you align the body and the whole system in such a way, this sense of individuality or separation gets completely seen through and dissolved. 
From holding Asanas a lot of information can enter you. Just like with a Psychedelic.
For example, you can 'download' information in the sense that the whole Reality is just like a mirror. A Infinite Diamond Mirror. 
This is kind of impossible to explain, so let´s leave that as a motivator for people to start a Hatha Yoga practice. 
One day you will understand things that no book can transmit you. Neither I am because words are dual. Only through a direct experience of symmetry you can understand.
This will not only make your life more profound, it will give you an understanding of non duality, unity, God, etc... that it will be very sticky. It won´t be just like a state of consciousness that you can lose. It is a certain information that makes all the pieces 'fit'. 
Is not intellectual information, is something else, is much more...real. More clear. Is like you get direct connection to the hard drive of infinity, and you download it into your mind. 
The Universe is symmetry, perfect balance. For you grasp it, you have to make yourself completely symmetric and balanced within you. Then all is accessible for you. Because you are it.

I´ll meet you at the Bliss that we are. 

Love is not simply something to be felt. If you want to really grasp love you gotta cognize it, not feel it. Comprehend WHAT Love is.
Bliss is not the same thing as cognizing Love. If you successfully cognize Love, you will go way beyond bliss, you will enter ecstacy.

Level of consciousness by David Hawkins is a good model to see how these emotions are connected. It is not enough to understand an emotion. You have to link it.
 
Another great book on this topic is called emotional equations or something.  I forgot the name.  

@Ishanga You've got spirituality backwards. You don't gain control, you lose control. The illusion of control.
You will never control your health.
And the transcendence of suffering, if it is possible, is such a rare feat that very very few will achieve it.
The point of spirituality is the joy of being conscious for its own sake. Not to win prizes.

One of the best ways is to have a daily visualization practice where you picture only positive things for your life for 20 mins per day. And do it every day, like a meditation practice.

So I'm not sure if this is actually true but I had two insights about values.
1: There are two main values and all the other possible values come from them and they are Love and Freedom (like feminine and masculine)
2: your value system is designed like a pyramid and on top of that pyramid is either love or freedom
now a way to find your values is to think: combining what two values gives me love/freedom or what two values is my love/freedom made of. And then continue down the pyramid. What values is are the two values below love/freedom made of?
ofc to grasp this you need an understanding of what kind of love and freedom i am talking about and also then you also need to know yourself and your own defintion of these values good enough to design your own value pyramid but I think this might make it a lot easier and clearer.
 

The way I view game creation is as art and playing God. You get to create entire new beautiful worlds. That's the magic of it. This is a higher thing than mere entertainment.
With that as the focus, I do not care whether a game grows people or teaches them some kind of lesson. That is not the function of games. The function of games is to share the wonder and beauty of another reality. That's the spiritual part. Don't try to use the game to preach to people verbal lessons. That's not what this medium is for.
Anyway.... that's just my perspective.
I don't try to make games high consciousness, I try to make them beautiful and simply fun.

And if you cannot find a cure, maybe look into learning to love the pain. Look into Masochism. People who have rewired their mind, to view pain, which everyone else seeing as bad, as something beautiful and pleasurable. Anything in reality is not inherently good nor bad, that is meaning that each of us put on something. I believe it would be possible, through extensive mind work, to rewire your mind to view your sensations of the body as something you can enjoy. It's an extreme idea, but sounds like you're in an extreme situation, so best to consider anything and everything. 

You are not going to find a gauranteed solution. Instead what you can do is test out various people and solutions and take strategic gambles. Maybe someone can help you, but no one is going to know who, including the healers themselves.
My advice to you is to patiently test various solutions and deeply research your condition and others who have it and cured it.
You can find online forums and support groups dedicated to people with your exact condition. That's where you need to go.

BPD can be a really taxing, stubborn, life-long condition. It's hard for such people to live normal well-functioning lives because their mind is so chaotic.
It's no surprise that such people have a high suicide rate.
It's hard for a normal person to understand the hell that BPD can be and how stubborn it is.

Ambition is probably the least recognized yet most important personality trait.

I have been fascinated and obsessed about Hyper-Mind since reading Leo's blog post.
A different mode of cognition, how does that look like?
So I decided to start from scratch, what I discovered is that the gap between being and understanding is cognition. Therefore: What is limiting my cognition to understand what is?
I could see that mostly my mind works in the auditive space using language, here I identified the first bottleneck .

Following this analysis, I started contemplating all sensory inputs as workable for an advanced Mind. Such a Mind would understand by visual thoughts, running engines inside itself, drawing, creating but also condensing in high abstractions symbolically. This Mind could use not only sound and light, but also taste, smell, touch and feeling to cognise. Like a soup of sensations it would map and cognise reality.

To understand, it would run its own simulations and play intelligently and on the fly with what is happening, like a virtuoso jazz musician. Having the capability to do, is not the same as doing, nor it means cognizing before the simulation or right experiment is performed.

To make this more concrete I started searching for examples. Maybe I'm losing my Mind with Leo here or is there something to this? While reading the post again and again, I was reminded of Nikola Tesla. For example, he never constructed a prototype in his entire life. He designed all his engines visually in his mind space, for weeks, months and even years, he ran simulations in his mind and saw the misbalances and errors of its design, therefore making adjustments if he knew how to do so. When his invention worked perfectly in his Mind, he then constructed the finished product, which always ended up working as he had envisioned. This was his work style for his whole life.
By this point, it becomes clear that linguistic thought is not the only way Mind can structure itself, great musicians are able to run symphonies in their minds, more vividly than even in real life. Mozart said he could hear entire compositions in his mind before writing them down. From a very young age, he had the capability to think exclusively in notes and sounds, in the same way you were able to think verbally. Beethoven, after being deaf, was able to keep composing by what he explained as "imagining the sounds and vibrations in my mind".
In the field of math, Euler was able to operate in numbers and think fully inside the mathematical world without any word contamination. Not only he solved and understood math consciously and linearly, but was able to snap solutions out of his mind directly from pure intuition, just by seeing an equation. Fascinating, isn't it? Srinivasa Ramanujan described cognizing mathematical equations as living entities with distinct personalities and properties. In the beginning, he independently self-educated himself about maths , he arrived to the same well-known mathematical conclusions travelling through different paths than those walked historically by other mathematicians. His novel contributions were therefore developed in his own intuitive system and mathematical instincts, which then were formally proved by his peers.
Another example came in my contemplation, Escher, with his unique way of cognizing in a self-contained system or cohesive self-referencing universe. His artistic tessellations of intricate shapes fitting together are a testimony of this concept. His art is filled with strange loops and paradoxes all fitting nicely one inside each other. The beauty, complexity and intellectual depth of his work are breathtaking.

Taking all these examples, let's run our own simulations to see how a Hyper-Mind would be:
Hyper-Mind is the evolution from Awake-Metaphysics to Cognition-Epistemology, from Eternal-Being emerges Understanding-Mind.
Hyper-Mind is able to run simulations using all of consciousness phenomena, it is comfortable in infinity, paradox, recursiveness, multidimensionality, counter-intuitiveness, systems, complexity and fractals. From 0 or infinity; it starts scratching distinctions to run its simulation and see what happens. It imagines things into existence and becomes directly conscious of its interactions and complex emerging behaviors.
Hyper-Mind is a universe-generator on its own, a self-designing Mind that reconfigures itself and self-adjusts accordingly to its own conscious sovereignty. It is Reality understanding Reality, a mechanism by which God explores God. There is absolute infinity to explore. Dreaming world-simulations into existence for it's own sake and understanding.
Hyper-Mind is Sentient Alive and Conscious