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@Loving Radiance I don't know if I understand what you're saying. I mean, I came here to maybe get advice on how to do it. In the meantime, all I know is to practice being in solitude to sort of recollect myself, but don't know. I'm seeking for some better solution

@Loving Radiance Well, by dissociation I mean that my attention, thoughts and emotions are not aligned, which make me feel out of my body, out of my own experience, a bit dizzy, and scattered all around - Not really here. The fact that I'm not capable yet of really experiencing an experience (yes, as weird as it sounds. Like I said before, because I don't really feel here), makes it easy to get lost and disconnected from simply being and feeling good on my own. The dissociation is even stronger when I'm in crowds or with another person, since my social anxiety plays a bit and I tend to hide my real self subconsciously. So because I'm not really capable of feeling connection, then it does produce feelings of loneliness

@Danioover9000 Lately I have been riding my bike A LOT (almost everyday, practicing being with myself and feeling this connection to myself and nature). I certainly felt a bit more alive than being in my room watching youtube videos, and did have the freedom to contemplate. It feels refreshing in some way. The problem is that I kind of feel comfortable like I said, without much urgency in overcoming it. I can do the small talk and talk to people, but can't yet do bigger things like make a joke in public, sing next to people, be in energetic group conversations, start an intimate relationship (with friends or with women). So because it doesn't seem urgent I let it loose. So like I also don't have a plan or something to overcome it. Anyways, are you suggesting a cycle? Like to face fear to overcome it, and then reconnect back to myself and build my foundation?

@Loving Radiance I'm saying that I'm grateful for having realized it quite early. Until then I thought this feeling will be forever, or until I don't know when. Now that I know what is this problem, I know it won't be for the rest of my life

@kag101 I'd recommend you watch Leo's video on loneliness. He said to do exactly that, as a way to overcome this feeling. From what I understood he did not say to demolish social connections, but rather to first build the foundation of connecting to yourself through solitude, and then to connect, act and create through this center you've built. Or something like that

@mandyjw Yes, you got this totally right. But I didn't really understand the connection of this part: Also wasn't so clear how you linked social anxiety. By the way I'll check this video out

@mandyjw So basically for a very long time (about like 5 years) I've felt left out, but here's the thing: It was not always that obvious and it was mostly very much low in intensity not fully in my awareness. But it does come up once in a while when I see friendships, couples, groups of friends, great families, but it took for me a long time to realize that I was suppressing it. But that is because it doesn't feel that urgent (although in the long run it is slowly destroying me by feeling regret and a false hope for a better future). I don't know exactly when this feeling of being envious started, but it didn't really have to do with how many friends I have, because I've realized that all I really need is just like 2-3 good friends (max 5). However I do think that it was just a gradual feeling (with ups and downs) and took me time to realize it. I must also say I'm grateful for realizing that I'm disconnected from Being and from myself, and that I experience dissociation. At least I know it will not be like that for my whole life. Could you explain more on the feeling of resistance you explained? Also, I don't know how this is supposed to help me also overcome my social anxiety and also my feelings of loneliness (and some depressive thoughts about my life situation sometimes)

@mandyjw I've read what you wrote like a few times and I appreciate it. So basically I've been practicing being in solitude as a way to deal with this feeling of loneliness. However I wouldn't say that I'm really suffering from it or feeling it all the time. It comes once in awhile, sometimes in sneaky not obvious ways, and sometimes in very clear ways. It did help reduce a bit of my envy I have of other people. But social anxiety still remains an issue I've hid deep in my subconscious for a very long time because of this lockdown (like a year), and it doesn't feel that urgent. So basically you're saying to also be in solitude and also explore social situations? I mean, it is quite an 180 degree turn no? Like, I derive a sense of "feeling good" and improvement from being in solitude, but it also might be the ego's excuse for escaping social situations. And obviously going out there socializing can't be sustainable for me (now that I've realized it from my direct experience), since I feel dissociation and not in touch with myself and being collected