Loba

@soos_mite_ah That is wonderful to hear, congratulations on your growth.

I always tend to get an extreme example with these things, I doubt it's at like 1. My opinion on it is that people are just naturally oriented in a certain way.

That movie messed me up, too. I thought I was the only one, unless you're kidding of course.

What do you want know about it? I have a lot of experience with hell realms. Please don't explore them; they are hard to get out of. If you must, explore just to recognize it in the outer world, but don't get caught in it.

Yeah, I had a friend who fell directly on his neck as a kid, and his mother didn't take him to the doctor - he was numb for a few weeks - and it created problems later in life and the symptoms you mention are what he had as well. He said something about being injured in the neck can cause those symptoms specifically as well, but I don't know much about it.

I have a twin flame. Everybody does. Long story short, your twin flame is not a single person - souls send out many parts of themselves all at once across spacetime. It is simply whatever you register with during a certain period of awakening and can change, just like any energy does. I have a whole journal from last summer that I might pull back up sometime in a few months where I went through the step by step process. It is basically just your "I Am" - and you find it by finding the opposite gendered energy within yourself - it is like a wave coming from within and also outwards. If you go up the food chain, that masculine I Am is pretty much just all men - Adam. And then all women, Eve. That is the literal "twin flame" or yin yang. This doesn't sound like twin flame. A least not conscious one. You have to use that energy inwards and just move and live as yourself. That connection doesn't sound healthy for you either, move on asap.

@Karmadhi True. I don't know what to say tbh. I understand though.

Energy needs to consume energy in order to grow and evolve. But it hits a tipping point where eventually you start to see and feel the pain of the animals that you eat, and that culture has conditioned people not to see animals as unique Beings. There is a shift, and it feels visual as well, when this happens. I think this happens when consciousness is unaware of itself and then autocorrects when it is. It's a level, I guess?

@Phyllis Wagner Maybe rent a room on the first floor and do them there instead if this worries you? Although, maybe jumping would be the best experience you could ever have? Don't do it, but what if you were in a really wonderful state, and you did, and when you crashed into the concrete, you would go right through it into an infinite singularity of love or whatever your beliefs are on the afterlife? And if you didn't, you end up with a deadly cancer?

@Karmadhi I have no idea, I was often the one paying in my ltr. (I'm a chick.) I didn't have to with most of the other guys I dated, and I was polite so they felt okay with it. Do you feel like it is more of a problem if it is a bad date? I guess it is dependent on what direction you want to go in. So you could, once dating someone exclusively, both write up a plan. This is who does what, when, where, why, how. And moving towards mutual goals, stuff like that. That would balance it. But during the dating process it does seem like men have to put in more work. I don't really know what to do about that. It's expected culturally, so maybe what is missing is that many people no longer date with purpose anymore so in that sense, men having to do more work, pay for things when dating multiple people - this is outdated but we have not caught up with it yet as a society. Generally expected but no longer needed. Maybe the solution is that if it is casual, then women should put in an equal amount of work but if you are dating traditionally, like, taking a decent, slow amount of time, then that would make more sense for the guy to pay imo. We just need to, as a society evolve into that new custom. But in the meantime, dating will be harder for men and easier for women. TBH, I had short relationships when in my early 20's and then a long-time on and off again 10 yr relationship that kind of left me feeling burned out, and so I am out of the dating scene. I don't understand a lot of what you guys do... especially now, like with tinder and online dating profiles and whatever else people do. It didn't seem so polarized a decade ago. You just sort of, went out with friends, would meet other mutual friends and if things clicked, that was about it. Don't people meet that way nowadays anymore? From social circles and stuff? (I know, covid, but before that) I guess I would need to know more about modern dating to give a better answer. I guess, for women, they have to eat well, dress nice, be clean, hair, makeup, work out, be feminine, ect. I remember putting time into getting ready, like I would make a day out of it, finding the right outfit, makeup, doing my hair nicely - and when a woman is doing this, it is for you. That woman has you in mind while getting ready for the date, so if you see a woman that has taken time to look good, then they are not just showing up, but that they value you enough to do so. They could just say "fuckit" and not bother.

The next song - I can hear my cat that was "stolen" from me. "Possession", negative social complexes and the being itself expressing itself, "We don't need your help." Came out today, snake eating its tail. Syndicate. I am being tested. Because I am/part of a negative social entity/complex, and I loved the cat quite a lot and I most likely won't get him back. I think my error is being too soft, perhaps the full extraction of love is an important component. I felt sad for a day, and I will keep looking for him but I am over it, I have almost fully accepted the loss and can move on. After my other two pets die, I will not own another one ever again. What's the point if you can't keep them safe from other people's bullshit? Maybe I could do service to Self in the afterlife and then service to Other if I somehow end up becoming a 6th density being, and focus solely on personal wisdom for this life? I could find it in the forest if everything works out well. God, Wolf, Demon, whatever, whathaveyou, what do you say? You seem to do something cruel every time I am about to transmute something important, something that is drastic and unexpected and always ultimately harmful and gets in the way, and so this tells me that perhaps, although the higher Self instructs it, that I am running a fool's errand. Give me a sign as to why this is happening to me, please. If growth is such an important component, then what are you hiding from me that requires that I lose so much? It feels like a gaslight. Going through death, coming back from the fugue and another bad thing, another misunderstanding, and yet I feel almost programmed to move in the direction of some form of understanding of this. I get it. You want to destroy me. You want to hollow me out and take absolutely everything and you think it's funny. That every awakening I have, that I think would be something good - "more than one way to skin a cat", you go and skin my cat. You trick me by showing something that seems good, and I can see God within it - I think, I hope - and of course any person would move towards that - because it is what we should do. And then you throw it in my face and expect me to love and live in the light, blah blah blah. Why stop now? Why bother dragging it out? Just get rid of me then, recycle my soul, burn me for all eternity, whatever. I don't care. You say, "You left the door open..." I hate you. It's not funny. There better be a decent underlying reason for it. "Lesser". Murderer. I was supposed to orient myself to something noble, and I chose ending child abuse - looking at the night sky, the earth, unified, interconnected... You can do that, because thoughts project outwards, if you are in that almost borderline manic state, it is feasible - I tried. I kept falling downwards, I thought that if I went through death, which it seems to show up when it wants to - if I went through sexuality I could bring it up - that the power from it would do this and you lead me down the wrong road. You bring the worst outcomes to every noble intention, and you plaster me with the intentions of those around me and it sticks. You're something evil. Can I get rid of you? Can you tell me what you are? If there is something else here, can you remove it? If there is something beneficial in the spiritual wilderness - I request that you line everything up awagin with truth and, like I asked before, keep the street empty. I am ready to move into the light, but you need to stop these situations from happening. Otherwise, will you explain to me my error? What is it that is causing each chain to create something worse? Notes:

@Karmadhi Initially that is all that she has to do, but the roles equal out over time.

Leave her alone. She wants you leave her alone and to ultimately crash and burn and die. That's why she is pushing you away. Focus on other things and let her do what she wants to do how she wants to do it and let her deal with whatever consequences that happen from her own actions, that is true compassion imo. Getting involved and trying to change sick people just makes it worse in the long run. And no one likes the pressure of being changed by people who may not even know what the path constitutes for them. And who knows, maybe crashing and burning and going through that is what God wants for her life? Why this person out of the many others that could be helped? Are there other, better places you can direct your empathy? I would do that. Just like with anything else, compassion is something that has to be nurtured and you want to make sure you cultivate it in the places where your service is most beneficial. And to be honest, people in need don't like that, they will fight against it because the help is ultimately an affront on the personal journey of the soul - and she is going to push you away completely anyways, so take the first step in what you're ultimately going to have to do. I helped random people when I was a young woman and it NEVER works out. You'll get screwed over.

@flowboy Honestly, I relate to everything you said. I'm sorry I stigmatized you. I have... herpes of the soul and it's going through a flare-up and I do have underlying health anxiety. When I wrote what I said, I did not even think about people that would have it - my train of thought was how I would morally feel in this situation if I had a STD and , and as I was typing out my answers, a little voice in the back of my head says to me: "You have soul herpes... did you know?" Yes, I know! I was also imagining,honestly, what would happen in the absolute worst case scenario - of her catching it, and the relationship not working out and then future opportunities missed - and this person sounds very empathetic and so I was thinking, "That makes it way worse if the outcome ends up completely not in her favour." The thing is, I have read some of your stuff here and you don't seem like someone whos flaws outweigh the negative (it is that situational for sure.) - and so if this woman was mentioning a similar guy as you, and somehow there was the inherent knowledge of that beforehand, then my judgement would be different and so would what I write, but due to not really knowing anything about who she is dating, I went with the worst case outcome as the most honest advice. What was coming to mind for me, viscerally, was dealing with a similar situation in the past and it being sketchy because of the dishonesty. I got an STD once in my early 20's, it was something that antibiotics could cure. It was shocking because I don't really sleep around much, and I had just started trying to be more sexually open, and I knew all of the people quite well, - not strangers, and none of them was honest about it - I had to call people and tell them - it was really... not a fun experience.

My feelings on it are that "death" is an energy that can express itself and be recognized - like a viewpoint or an experience that should not be in your system at the wrong time. And perhaps that movies do this - that they lend a vehicle for this to prosper. I don't think that it is the movie themselves, but the collective energies that work through fear outside of space and time. I remember, even as a small child being able to sense this within certain areas of the house - and I would avoid those places. It would be like, a feeling, a distortion "in between" the lines of physical reality, and later in life as a teenager, some horror movies made this worse. "It's all in your mind, but you create everything." It's an archaic "first ingredient". I don't think that people are supposed to look death in the eye at the wrong time; I think that doing so unlocks the wrong things. I think that certain things need to be realized at the right time. I view horror movies as an evil attempt to unlock things in people when it isn't necessary. I don't know if it is a good idea to spread the "spirit" of such things - have any of you seen this thing when looking at something frightening? The collective awareness of chaos peeking through? The thing that works through people that murder and rape and addiction and lies? I have tried to get people to become aware of this phenomenon before, and people's inability to even see it is unsettling, but to be honest I think that much of spirituality has sort of made people blind to being able to see darkness and evil as the raw archetypal force that it is. It's not good. But it still affects you - it can run things in your life once the seed of fear has been planted.

I've never really enjoyed horror movies. I don't like seeing people scared or in pain or being scared, either. I think it can lower your vibration.

Story of La Loba