Loba

I make contracts with spirits, but I wouldn't with a person. I think love should be free. People can get married if that helps them, but for me it would stress me out. You always need the element of the person being allowed to leave imo.

Ok... got some weed, got some coffee... now back to work. Walked home - graffiti on the side of a store of a ghost saying: "boo!", and then a large painting of a smiling yellow flower in a pot and just past that a sign that reads: "Look up gods watching you, and so is my camera." My intention - get back to that energy, it was really dishing out a lot of information - and try to get more from it to understand a bit better. Hey you... thing... show yourself again. I am clouded. "Accept death into your heart." That was fast. Help me kill off my ego. (Speaking to this thing.) "Emptiness..." (Here we go again... ) "The mentalist." "Accept death into your heart." Fix all neurosis. Don't know... "Me" centered. Imbalanced. Fearful and always looking for immortality. I want to be surrounded by beauty and instead I feel surrounded by ugliness. I know I have a chemical imbalance but I am afraid to lose my connection to God if I go on meds. Nothing matters. Been avoiding death again. Blood of the past. Your own story goes on underneath your delusions. What exactly is it? Coffee + weed = willpower = "magick" A lot of blood signs. Cheating fate with death. The right role of the dice and leaving human life behind if it catches me. Come to know it. Bargain with it. Bad mouthing. Roots of the mountain. Blood of the past. Return to a new land on a boat - floating on the water. Remembering it. This must be the realization of sin. I saw God in the clouds as well in the yellow light - "always with you" and also when I smoked a bowl, the flame that was moving around in the most blackened ash - it looked very real. Hyperreal from a presence that was mutually observing. I look up - at the tall black lamp in my living room, the one that was a purple goblet - it is off, but I feel like, "Look up gods watching you, and so is my camera." - I have gotten a lot of messages from this thing before. I can see death around me again, is what it is. When I do, I look at this for some reason - once it said I was a shaman, and once I disidentified with it and I went back into childhood and a memory came up and this has come with the same energy. I see it in the coyote skull that I own as well. I forget about 'right NOW' reality sometimes. Freaks me out. It is probably the cloud as well. I compulsively write to avoid these moments... can't deny it, it's God's Word. What should I do? Trauma release. Found this from previous song - "follow the emerald star" - had found God's light in Rusty's green eye. Starting up again, I see. This world is a skin over another reality. Go to turn off the light next to me - the same colour green. Who/what are you? Objectively built, it just comes in. This thing often tries to come in. It always says good things like, "If you build an altar with a routine this will help" and "I am the stars aligned" and "Simply doing things provides an exchange of energy, make something to maintain energy here, responsibility" and "Elements, earth, fire, air, ect", "You have a distortion; notice this", ect, Things of this nature. Maybe I should listen to it? Try and and see, it is never negative. This is an altar, too. Be mindful of offerings.

5 or 8, not sure but they both move in this direction. Pilgrimage = mountain roots - 4:44 (cultivate energy for the mountain) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tihar_(festival) RESET - I wish to bring the old Gods back into the modern world. For a reset on humanity from the roots up, to return to the wisdom of nature and of the Earth, to hear what we have forgotten, to feel connection, peace, unity, love and light.

Blood of the past - The comet is coming

Sultan + Shepard = Naama = National Arab American Medical Association = Lovely Meaning: Lovely or Gracious. Gender: Female.

@allislove Are you able to see the underlying energy coming from this initial post, that might have caused another person to dislike the tone, the implication? Look at how it is worded - you can see that it isn't really coming from a good place. This person set the tone initially, and can't tolerate getting back what they give. You happen to understand how energy works, follow your gut and read that post and see how you would feel if someone was trying to, essentially, instigate this sort of energy. They don't want to admit that this is a post made for that reason with that sentiment in mind. It is accusatory, dismissive, arrogant and downplays the experiences of other people here - many who work with siddhis. What if I made a post in the dating section with something like, "I don't believe a certain party should be doing this or that." That is the same message. He changed the name, indicating some level of self awareness that energy given is energy got. Good to know. Have a good night, I'm done here. @James123 Not always. There is often a circle when it comes to these things, you are all choosing not to be nuanced simply because you have a different belief system when it comes to spirituality. And once again, that is not okay. It is not right to start off with energy that brings this sort of conversation to the table, and then when you get the meal you ask for, to pretend like you didn't order it. You get it? I am working through difficult emotional aspects of this path right now, in fact, just tonight. This is not what people on their own path need to be seeing. But no one here bothered to ask, did they? They just assumed that my emotions do not have a purpose at all, or even where they stemmed from - but this person is allowed to act hurtful, to instigate, and then hide behind all of you. That's cheap. That is also dismissive, and another form of gaslighting. If this person had made a respectful post, then this would not be an issue, so why is it that the onus is solely on me when it takes two... or apparently a group, to tango? The only reason why you guys are backing this person up is because of a similar, closed belief system to other aspects of spirituality. This is all really messed up. Not cool. I'll be making sure to avoid you guys because you're dishonest in how you communicate - I really don't care for it. And you wanna know what? My experienced are grounded in direct experience. I sit with my own death. To see this is basically to have someone say that the very depths of what I am working on is a lie - when there is nothing more final than that... all siddhis come from the same place, the cultivation of energy from the edge of death, the same place that you guys work from just with a different outcome... jeez... do you guys understand this? At all? Has anyone read a book on this or attempted to develop one? It is legitimately having someone say "You are doing exactly what I suggest, but the outcome is something I don't agree with therefore it is wrong." When it isn't. You guys are just closed off to it. This is... really bad. Because I can feel the real reasons for why this is happening. And each person's actions, why they have taken the stance, and it is not as noble, or bold or anything. This is wrong. I am going to say it. This is wrong. And I can feel and know the underlying reason for each person who has gone against what I have said here, and where the underlying judgement comes from as well. So not only have my experiences been dismissed, but I know the reasons for it are not as straightforward as people claim. And if I say what it is, even though it is true, these people won't be honest. It will be on me. This is the problem that people with these abilities have. Is that we know what is going on underneath and people don't like that. @Someone here You passive aggressively tagged me and then deleted the post. ^ read this and move on. You are an instigator. The fact that you tagged me while I am silenced at the moment goes to show what you are made of underneath. @allislove Please be aware of this, that this person is instigating. Keep that in mind in the future. They deleted the post, but the intention was clear. This is in bad form. Really. @Javfly33 I had offered you advice earlier this year, perhaps in december in which you had a similar awakening experience due to how descriptive I was of it. You throw me under the bus? You remember the experience you had where you heard birds and became one with music after I instructed you in a thread on how to do it, the siddhi happened soon after. @Javfly33 Because I was getting too popular. I was being bothered (stalked, actually) offsite, and a bit onsite and thought the name change would stop it. After Leo mentioned it on a video I thought I would change it because I don't being seen. I waited a long time with that, with the stalking before changing it - just didn't want to deal with the people who were doing that anymore.

@Barbara You proved my point, thank you. I will leave, but I see what is going on here and it's not right. Don't ever triangulate me here again, I don't like that, and putting up a boundary against it is fine. I don't think it is okay for one party to treat a group of people rudely, and then for a person in that group not to have the ability to essentially explain the underlying reason for why this person made this post in the first place. This guy had, just a few months ago, been inquiring into wanting to have these experiences.

@Someone here I was right about you dude. Why do you spend so much time here trying to act like you know better than other people? That is the actual issue, not what you think is bullshit. Do you know this? Do you know that acting like this is harmful for other people here who are just trying to do their own thing? Are you going to do anything about it or keep it up? I wanna know. Since you felt the need to marginalize people such as myself, what are you going to do to improve your own style of communication here? Or are you going to gaslight me because I was accurate and that bothered you? p.s. - stop being full of shit.

@Barbara Same here. You're not cool. You are a triangulator. I will keep that in mind for the future that you have a quasi manipulative form of communication with others. You are not a good communicator and you are pretending to be. Don't do that. I don't like having aspects of my journey downplayed, with the amount of emotional work that it takes, to have people play games like this. That is not okay. I want you to know this.

@Someone here No, I am not. I am the person that has this happen to me and have to try to get folks to stop. I then do it in return. So once again, thank you for gaslighting and being a part of the problem that this forum has, which is trying to control how other people work on themselves. You don't like being called out on the truth of your actions, do you? You are arrogant. Fix it. Don't make it my problem, or the problem of people who do have these abilities, we have to deal with enough stigma. I rarely ever talk to people via PM, I never spam, never start convos via PM. I keep to myself here. Very much so. The times that I have done something that I view as wrong, I do my best to work on it, but generally, I have been the victim of this 75 percent of the time. @Barbara That is an assumption as well on your part, don't you think? To assume that what I wrote was because I was hiding from bullshit, instead of having another, possibly more nuanced issue with this. Do you know this person here? They have issues with controlling other people's experiences. I'm not kidding, this guy spends way too much time doing that. This is a habit of his. I have bothered and bullied here for working through such things, it's annoying to be seeing these sentiments everywhere. I see that he likes to do exactly what he can't handle. Coward.

@Someone here You're toxic. You actually, genuinely are. Don't do that. I don't like that. Doesn't feel good when it comes back to you, does it? You're arrogant.

Have you ever thought of letting go of your need to control another persons spiritual experience? I mean, considering you aren't even a happy person, that you're someone who claims to, at the end of the day just be a coward that is full of fear - what do you even know? You're a closed minded person, pretending to have truth. There are so many facets to it, and all of it comes from a person's own introspection into themselves. When you decide for another person when they are honest or not, you take away that person's ability to decide for themselves, to find out, to grow. It then is no longer about them, but your silly little need to control what you view as truth, instead of doing more research or trying to understand another person who, at the end of the day, has every right to introspect the way that they think is best. One thing I am learning about people here who have chronic issues with controlling others is that they don't really care about another person growing, it is about making them conform to what you think is right. You're full of it, pretending that everyone else is, because you're looking outwards at what other people are doing on the forum. That's harmful, and it ultimately makes you kind a ....nyeh... person underneath it all. Focus on yourself, quit worrying about what other people are doing here, you are not here to "show them the way" or, honestly, even decide what is true or not. I bet, at the end of the day, you are probably just disappointed that you can't verify such things for yourself, you're closed off to it, an entire world that other people get to be privy to. All of this stuff COMES from direct experience. You are someone who is still trying to come to terms with the fear of death, and I remember you making a post in the past on wanting to have such experiences and being unable to. I dislike this form of dishonesty with people and I do keep track of the underlying reasons for these sorts of displays of "generosity" when it comes to showing other people how they should be living their lives. You sound like someone who is secretly envious. "I can't do it, so you are lying". Psssh. Whatever.

I did not get the chance to watch the whole thing, maybe in a few. IMO sometimes an action is racist and you don't know it is, and sometimes it is not - it depends on the context. There is a white bubble. I relate to it being strange myself, that it is an annoying thing, so I do relate and think that it is a problem that should be fixed because being boxed into an identity is really stressful. Like, I walk around, I feel... more like awareness than my body. What if my skin colour was all that was seen? Nothing else? That would drive me NUTS. I swear to God. I would develop a complex about it. It would get super OCD in my environment about having to handle being black, whatever that entails with racism. If I had to deal with race on top of everything else, that would suck tbh. It would just be one more label to have to try and work through that doesn't feel "right" in the sense that - race - it's a, it's like automatically assigning someone a class just by sight. And I know how that works, how over time you become it - the box that society puts you in. It happens so fast, too. And right under your own damned nose. "White fragility"... I can see it. If someone of colour came up to me and started calling me racist - and the energy was really defensive, then I would get flustered and confused, and respond the same way right back unless they could offer me a good reason for why they think I am racist - and that could be backed up with an open conversation. But if the race card is used for a manipulative reason, which I can only count less than a handful of times, then I will shut down and peace out. I think that you can become blind to internalized racism, because I see my parents raised in a different time and they have some of it left in them from their culture, but don't feel animosity towards different races - but they don't see it clearly as I do, especially my dad who was raised with racists, he makes jokes and doesn't understand - and times have changed even now, so I would expect that I would be in the same boat. I am colour blind to most races, living in Seattle - a lot of Asians, Indians, Mexicans, Eastern Europeans, ect - but there aren't as many black people, there are some neighborhoods, but I don't have a reason to go there for anything or know anyone in that area - and I have not lived in a place, ever, in my life growing up around a lot of black folks - so colour is something I do see initially at first for just that - but with other races it is no longer there. So this tells me that there is something going on with it - because I don't single races out, but I notice the difference initially simply due to lack of exposure. So, if people are exposed to many races as children, and it is pretty consistent - a good melting pot of ethnicities - then you do end up with colour blindness - and I think people need to discuss it and work it out until that happens - this generation can raise their children around many different people and this will help. I used to get a lot of Nat Geo books and stuff when I was small and this helped me to be more interested in folks from different parts of the world, different cultures and stuff. I like the idea of different cultures, races, religions, because it means that reality is ... not fixed. That there are so many different ways to view things - that's good. It's comforting. It means that all this crap in this culture is just as tossable as anything else. Too bad people can't just grab the best of everything and combine it. I wish people were clever enough to do this, then we would all have great lives, the best food, music, dance, communication, artwork, architecture, medicine, spirituality, traditions and genetics. If humans learned to trade the best of the best and incorporate it, we would be set as a species. I think and hope this will happen. We have to be willing to admit that noticing race and having an initial idea based on it is something that humans do naturally, we are wired for it. We need to see it without it being a big thing, I guess, and try to get people to see commonalities and enjoy differences. It is a problem, because unless you have been exposed to people of all sorts, this will automatically happen just by the way of how you process the world. Humans profile each other. Even if you are not racist, it is such a problem in the world - that this is something in the human psyche that needs to be exposed! It creates genocide. It is really a nasty part of humanity - wetiko needs to be seen in a neutral atmosphere. This is the same mechanism that plays out in different ways. I totally think it is a problem and I can sit here and write this and know how that feels in my own way because of how it works. It sucks. And it is like... you can't really address it, because the fragile person's self image is more important than your value, who you are... it feels like... an excuse to be lazy towards another person's problems and to allow it to continue, while pretending it is all in your head. And it feels like... no... there is an energy that is dismissive and not quite right, and it doesn't even really belong to anyone, it just sort of... is there, like a residue inside of people - a phantom of ill will towards you that you can't address, that sticks you in a perspective that is not yours, and you can't do or say anything about it because the perpetrator of the energy is too fragile to admit that it exists - so you then end up placating the source of your own discomfort. I think that could be what the problem is.

INFP 5w4 541 sp/sx

I use music in my practice and do occult work. This is what I do. In general, I am naturally always moving, I have a rocking chair that when I am doing work I like to sit in because it helps me think and I listen to music then. I like to choose things that speak to my heart and soul, or whatever emotion I might be facing or if there is a truth that I can't handle that maybe the song can embody for me, to help bring that energy out. I play the song in between reading about certain concepts or watching videos, because the lyrics or the music videos can add an emotional component, or even a download at times. When using music energetically, it has to be at the right time, and it is intuitively felt. I have wooden floors and some decent computer speakers. I put them on the wooden floor and play them at the highest volume - I lay down on my back, and breath and feel into the vibration as well as the song and let it take me over completely. If the energy needs to be transmuted or if I am trying to bring something into my world then I well sit up, and gently move my hands around the outer circle of my energetic space and feel for where it seems to break through the easiest and I concentrate on that spot, and will move my hips occasionally, just to get into the body, into myself as much as possible. When it feels like it is "time" to do this work, I am bound to having to do it for often days, sometimes weeks at a time in order to get all of the information. So generally I don't do this very often, it is of shamanic journeying in nature, energetically, it is quite draining - if you are interested in using music in your work, be sure that you not only have the extra time to commit to gathering whatever information that you are given but that you have the energy to do this. You will need to have some sort of intuitive understanding and feel for where energy is in your environment. Your intentions while doing this mean a lot - much more than I had anticipated, so make sure that if you are using this to manifest that you do so responsibly. I would look into how different shamans from different cultures use music and rhythm to get into states as well. They call the rythme a sonic driver, and the state you want to be in is called the hollow bone. You become a vessel. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heyoka Only those who have had visions of the thunder beings of the west can act as heyokas. They have sacred power and they share some of this with all the people, but they do it through funny actions. When a vision comes from the thunder beings of the West, it comes with terror like a thunder storm; but when the storm of vision has passed, the world is greener and happier; for wherever the truth of vision comes upon the world, it is like a rain. The world, you see, is happier after the terror of the storm. — Black Elk

There are other waves in the ocean, it is not just you. I think that perhaps this is a trap that psychedelics can give, because when I go through the death door, I can feel everyone else there, too within that sea of emptiness. You are a soul. A bubble within that sea, with other explorers. I exist. I am the one in front at the moment. I Am writing this. And you who is reading this, is the one who is in the front. But you are not the only one here. That is a mistake. i know this to be true because psychedelics and facing a genuine death are not the same thing. Try memento mori instead if this bothers you, and keep your heart and soul open to finding other experiences within this ocean while keeping yourself fixed on the void. If you close yourself off to it, then you will be stuck with this idea that it is just you. It's not, it's not. I swear. Keep going.

I've gotten into these states of mind only to get spiritual awakenings from them that glean towards a greater purpose and that there is an underlying meaning. So I suppose if someone took this stance and actually embodied it for a time, something similar might happen due to the fact that it brings you to a state of pure emptiness pretty easily. It is a good reset button for sure. But I don't believe anyone who has gotten into this frame of mind and maintained it did so with any degree of authenticity because it is one of a mental fast track to insight and paranormal experience, even. I think there is a balance to it that can be hard to walk across in a straight line, where there can be too much meaning, or too little. You kind of have to reset with no meaning at all, and then from that raw experience, pull together what you can. And then erase it again and embody it for a while, and then let that energy speak up again, and just keep doing that. Pretty much everything that you can imagine is going to be in some sort of middle ground. It will never go all one direction or the other.

I have noticed this as well and am a very nostalgic person. I remember always being nostalgic though. I remembered heaven in the sky and always wondered and ached to go back to it. Maybe we are all just looking for home, deep down, that final resting spot? You remember your childhood, what it felt like to be complete and you long for it - because you were closer to a sense of home then, while as an adult it is just, quite an awful experience, really, the human condition, living in general. Just terrible. Maybe someday in the future human life will be more worthwhile and then humans won't want the past? "World peace" is looking pretty nice.