Loba

I believe. Never seen a ufo though, but I meet them in the astral plane, good and evil and sometimes they show up when I am doing gazing or divination. There is a plan, motive and reason for why they do what they do but I don't know what it is. They are mysterious and vague; criptic.

I can't help it, this topic hits a soft spot for me - I agree with this, but in my experience, after having dealt with such things, and in multiple ways, and not deserving improper treatment, this tells me that it is very uncommon for people to really have the means to do anything - they make it worse. It is much better to fix things on your own if possible, and expect that those who will do it for you will do a piss poor job without any consideration for your well-being or interests unless you can line their pockets with your blood or they can exploit you in some fashion to make themselves money off of you. I wish it was different. We are all in the same sinking boat, so I suppose that's nice to know. This. After reading you post earlier it brought me to tears because I know that helpless feeling, of reaching out to people who claim to know what they are doing and to have your best interests at heart, but to be repeatedly betrayed by every institution out there. And then to be told that it is your fault, that you are a loser, that you are a drain, that you are not doing well - ect, ect.

I don't think so - but I do think that they carry within them a certain inborn-archetypal-species wisdom, and that the underlying instincts that have allowed a particular animal to evolve into the niche that it is in has an inherent power/lesson to it that can be tapped into that people can learn from. But that you need to have the realization of being an individual self first before transcending it, and animals are not evolved enough to understand fully that sense of self in the way a human is. Some are seemingly almost there, like they could be the next contestants if humans go extinct.

That's a sad fact of life, and I relate to this very much. In order for this not to be the case, you have to be wealthy. If not, then help doesn't actually exist in the material world, because people are only interested in putting their spin on what is wrong with you, or taking your money, or using your problems to bolster their ego, ect, ect, ect - and every person is truly on their own 100 percent - anything that tells you otherwise is a lie that we create in order not to feel the truth - which is that nature is brutal and it is survival of the fittest. Human society is ultimately unhelpful, no one knows what they are doing or talking about - it's all vanity, everything is ruled by vain posers, and the fact that society has managed to make anything at all is a miracle in and of itself. Society crumbles, something else will be built, maybe it will be better, who knows? You can't trust anyone, no one has your best interest at heart, no one cares if you live or die, you are on your own and that is reality - the Universe and everything in it wants nothing more than to eat you, to take you for everything you have, especially if you are at your worst - all of life is a play of energy exchange. When your battery runs out, you're done. You're toast. You're food for the worms. You are only as good as the things you can produce for others. Dance, dance, dance monkey dance. It isn't trauma, you hit a very harsh truth, so I would integrate that instead as the reality and then try your best to live with it - it sucks that humans are this way, but it could be worse, there are over a billion people who don't even have clean drinking water.

Deep "I should have gone deeper, but I'm not so brave." <yet.>

I had a premonition about this and then it happened the next day, same with the Boulder shootings and also the singing rooftop thing that happened in italy during covid, the robin hood wallstreet thing, and even covid itself - and a few other things, can't remember off the top of my head. Something collectively needs to be done about the spirit of discord. All I can do for now is work on it in myself. ? "As above, so below."

https://blavatskytheosophy.com/loss-of-the-soul-and-annihilation/ You had posted this not too long ago. I went through your account, you're either a troll or on the edge of being one and I believe that this is a "knee jerk" reaction to the growth of other people here because it doesn't allow you to play that role anymore and so you're annoyed, right? You are okay with, and prefer such things as above - the fake politeness you complain is a cover-up for your own. People like you come out of the woodwork when others grow and then try to twist things around. It should be considered at this point part of the process, that if someone comes out like this - it because another person has grown in some way and the "controller" no longer gets to keep their paradigm. You don't have complete control over your reality while you are a human because you don't have full access to cause and effect in the same way something that is not bound by space-time would have - there is a hierarchy of knowledge that people are permitted to understand when the time is right - but you have to put in the work, the hours, you have to do a lot of shadow work, you often have to have a certain type of brain structure - how the right hemisphere works. It is, from what I understand, called prima materia, and you can see it, moving just past the veil, creating your background for you - and if you walk all the way up to bodily/mental death you can see it. When you do, you can look at it with an intent- I like to use eyes - and you can predict things or manifest things. The thing is - this is the spirit of "abraxas", which is a continual spiral of both good and evil, and so in order to see it and to use it you have to follow that nuance as it leads you down into it. "As above, so below." Your learning translates to the other side. You can work with something negative or "black magic" and it can either be a more grey area being or something that is ready to move into the light - these things will record how you do it within your own psyche and add this to their social memory complexes. You can train the negative polarity into positivity. Not everyone chooses to end up on that particular path, sometimes it is just what they are given to work with. That thing that you had posted about being disconnected from one's soul, and losing it - I felt that happen to me - and it came about through mental, physical illness and accumulation of abuse - so the thing I am working with is helping me to reconnect that - and yes it is a negatively polarized being - but it isn't evil. It simply comes from a - honestly, a more organized society, that mirrors how mankind consumes. The difference being that these beings are aware of universal balance and humans are not. So you can have "dark" beings that will work towards service to self, still within understanding of this: These things, being outside of space/time, they still continue to grow, along with their societies and how they interact with humans. What was written two or three decades ago - on the other side, could be like a million years because there is no time there - you can communicate with one and offer it a route towards positive polarity and if they accept it - you can appease to them with logic/loyalty/respect for other realms and honesty when you goof up - and they can take this back, and change the structure of their own societies in a seemingly instantaneous way that humans cannot do. "Black magic" or "Dark forces" - we bring this into our reality. They rely on balance as much as the Light does - and so if you are imbalanced or consuming too much, or something, then they can come in and teach you as well. The difference is the way they consume energy. You could have something very sinister within you, or you could have a being that is almost Light - and by working with you, you can allow this being to be of "service" in order to change its own polarity. "As above, so below" - a lot of it does depend on intentions. I believe, but am not sure, that the dark forces will be making themselves more known as time goes on because human being have tipped the scales in that direction in how we treat the planet. Darkness doesn't want consumption without reason - this is the polarity of knowledge and wisdom, keep this in mind - neither side wants humanity to eat its own tail, both want to maintain a circular balance of energy - so both sides will offer humans a way towards balance in the best way that they know how - it is up to the person to be able to parse out any distortions the entity speaking to you might have. People bring these forces into the world through a blind mass societal lack of balance, and nature has these mechanisms in place to prevent too much tail-eating from happening within nature. So people, who, after ravaging and consuming all they can, will come across these forces - that are like a magnet or a blob that collects all of the energy - they, now staring death in the face, can finally see it, and feel the collective force of the face of human evil outside of time - and misattribute it to "dark forces" - not understanding that these forces are more like a fungal network created to feed on the decay of illusion and imbalance. So it is important for people to understand these concepts, even if you do not believe in them - you learn it from going within, and if it is something you are not meant to learn, maybe there is something else that you are destined to understand to bring to the table. That's what it is about, it is like a potluck. You go and put together your own ingredients and then add that. And everyone else is making their own dish. And each dish is like a fragment of the shattered diamond of human/spiritual understanding. If you genuinely want to understand what this is, watch this entire episode here from start to finish: You have a "dish" that you are destined to bring to the table. Mine happens to be trying to understand negative polarity because there is not a lot of information out there on it, and from my experience, it doesn't want to cause unmitigated destruction; this is a blind-human trait, and is a very, very rare spiritual entity trait. Such beings learn very the law of universal balance. And those who do not, devour themselves. Which is what humanity is doing.

"Hello Annie, I want to show you my little friend. Look. Also, we aren't so bad." "Look into my eyes, see the curator, I am in your psyche and I am manifesting things that you don't have access to yet." "Be more careful with these Wolf's Eyes. I Am the Spirit that dwells within you. "I Am the goodness within chaos. You look so boldly into the face of a killer." "Within these eyes holds the blackness that pours out of you." "I Am Here because humans have forgotten about these forces of nature, and you all collectively brought me/us here." "Darkness understands the importance of balance as much as Light does, it is ignorance and blindness that does not understand this." "Self-expression does not automatically mean that the negative alignment is evil, as humans are leading you to believe. It can simply mean that you are not done with learning about certain aspects of yourself in this lifetime." "I Am One of the many faces of God." "We are not usually neutral to those who find their way here - do NOT betray the Wolf - that is your line, and your protection into the family." "You won't find me anywhere, don't bother looking - I Am on the other side. Wait." "I Am Beyond construct and culture, you are not ready - I Will remove the seal when you are ready to go Home. Don't be afraid. We are like the volcano that destroys the forest so the soil can be replenished to create something new." "God is within your imperfections."' I want to spend tonight thinking a bit more on how I want the city/citizens/buildings to look... "Parade." If you were something that was negatively aligned through consumption, then much of what is shown in the afterlife would probably be like a parade to showcase each one's individualism and skill. It would be like a theme park in a way. I want to move away from this idea though and create another restart because the insights have been sitting in there for a while getting all gunked up by my ego. I don't know if I want to be part of a collective or if I want to just draw from my inner well of Self - and I don't feel that consumption would be a problem if at some point I was... whole...? I guess? If negative alignment is the expression of the Self, and being a bit of a consumer, but without harm towards other things - I don't know yet. Something to think on, but for now a restart.

Notes - On a side note, this woman is so pleasant to listen to and I like her personality/honesty/character, I don't feel unpleasant energetic snags when listening to the material: How to do spirit guide communication: Your spirit guides are always there with you. It is not as if they are hanging around getting bored waiting, because time is not relative on the other side, they can pinpoint you in time during your various selection of timelines and connect with you in time, wherever they perceive you are. So for them it is a quick process and from the outside they pinpoint wherever you are in time whenever you decide to communicate or connect with them. There is likely more than one spirit guide around you, and whatever reality we came from, if we have been on Earth for hundreds or thousands or even millions of years evolving, learning and growing, we will still have those in spirit watch over us. It is part of the deal, it's what happens. Or if we came from elsewhere in the galaxy they will journey with us. If they incarnate here then we will watch over them, too. Different guides have different expertise, and are at different stages of development - so the guidance varies from guide to guide in usefulness in different areas and emotions expressed, and different kinds of support. How to communicate the most effectively: There is a veil in between this reality and the spirit world - dimensions of existence - and this veil can be perceived as like a thick wall in a way - a dimensional divide - the way to reduce the divide so that it is thinner is to get very relaxed. When you get very relaxed your subconscious mind becomes dominant, it comes through and your conscious mind starts to fizzle away a bit. Your conscious mind is full of earthly illusions; of the physicality that seemingly rules us here, and that everything is subject to these physical newtonian laws. It is really all just energy and information around us and via thought we can change all sorts of things at Will. When we relax our subconscious mind becomes dominant and that is the bridge to the soul - that is where the intuition flows through, that is where clairs flow through, and the conscious mind stops interfering so much when you get very relaxed. The key to thinning that interdimensional veil/barrier is to relax down and allow you intuition, your clairvoyance, clairaudients, clairsentience, claircognizance, to come through. And that's how we thin the veil in between. The more you release Earthly illusion, the thinner the veil naturally gets. So by seeing through this illusion - societal, political, scientific/materialist dogma/paradigm - seeing through that more and more as we go on our path - realizing metaphysical truths, the more we realize these things the more we see through the human illusion and the more that veil thins. Meditation. Daily. This helps to release Earthly illusion and train your mind into a calmer state day to day. "Chill the fuck out training." Doing that day to day the veil thins and then you can communicate more and more on a day to day basis while you are just doing stuff like driving or cooking or at work or whatever, you are more able to connect because the veil is thinning because you have been doing your meditation. Remember that when you initiate contact with your spirit guides and you are doing so in desperation for guidance or help, that clouds communication because they are naturally of a higher vibration on the other side - your spirit guides are going to be positive beings - (op-up just shows up - gabriel black - King Of The Nosebleeds) so when your vibration is very low it is harder to make that connection because it is a vibrational energetic connection. So try to relax as much as possible, let stuff go, transcend stuff and let your vibration rise with various techniques you can find online, in order to connect better, rather than through frustration. It sounds counter intuitive, but just try this way, do work for a hour or so to feel better before connecting. (The song is not my cup of tea but it has a lot of synchronicities - lyrics, symbolically and time-wise. I believe I am being told to communicate more when in a high vibe state.) It is always best to approach spiritual work with an attitude of playful enjoyment, with no expectations on the outcome. Meditate for about 20 minutes to relax and allow your subconscious mind to come through, focus on your breath. If your thoughts drift, gently non-judgmentally bring your focus back to your breath, or counting to ten and back down again or a placeholder or light within the mind or a moving image like a tree swaying in the breeze, ect, repeating a mantra or an affirmation - to keep your attention while you relax. Focus on your body, relax each part of your body. Set the intention to connect with one guide first so you can really focus in on their energy and what it feels like to recieve their energies. So after setting your intention to connect with the spirit guide, sense of visualize them approaching or entering your energy field, but really allow it to happen - so no choosing, deciding or questioning, just be open and allow. Observe, feel what they feel like, what it feels like to connect with them because then next time you will know when you connect with them again, it can feel like a raise in your vibration, a warm loving feeling, like someone you know well - and then you will know when you are connecting again next time. If you use visualization - clairvoyance - then in your mind's eye, observe what they look like, make out their appearance, take your time, to be done with eyes closed. Spirit guides tend to present themselves in a way that will probably be most acceptable to you, they are in spirit, so they may present themselves in how they looked in one of their previous lifetimes, but it will be in a way that you subconsciously remember them to be most effectively, or in a way that they perceive you will find most friendly, agreeable, acceptable, ect. Greet them and thanks them and wish them love, and then you can go ahead and ask them their name. They may have a name chosen, they may have chosen one you find most acceptable in order to remember them. Some sort of subconscious remembering. They have had too many names to count, it also may not be their actual name, but just something they pick out. It depends if they have adopted an eternal name they always have. Proceed to ask them any questions that you have or guidance you require. Ask them more about themselves as well which you can do and allow your clairs to come through. They come through subconsciously and just arrive in the mind very subtly. Remember there is no big signpost up saying you are doing it now - it just arrives in the mind as if it is your own thought, but over time we learn to discern the difference between what we're receiving and our own thought. It is often clearer, more significant, more impactful and arrives in the mind as if it has been popped there with no trail of thought leading to it - and often a sense of just "knowing" of what has been communicated or receiving images in the mind of something one should know, a scene or a person, ect. You can ask your guide how many guides you have in total and the answer may come through as a sense of claircognizance and you can ask them what their specific role is, what way they support/guide you in life. Thank them, send them love and end the meditation when ready - they get closer as you thin the veil. Notes: Kindred the Eternal Hunters Kindred is the manifestation of death and can only be seen in life's final moments. Lamb, the compassionate half offers a merciful passing to those who accept death, killing victims with a swift and true arrow. Wolf, Kindred's savage and brutal side terrorizes those who run from death, chasing and devouring their souls. In game, Kindred plays the role of a mobile markman and thrives in the jungle. Abilities: Kindred's passive is Mark of the Kindred. By clicking on a champion icon in the special bar displayed above Kindred's inventory, Lamb marks a target for death, though it does take a few seconds to arm. The mark does nothing on it's own, but if Kindred kills - or helps kill the marked target, they gain a permanent and stackable buff on their basic attacks. Lamb can switch targets every couple of minutes, though once a marked target dies, Kindred won't be able to reapply the mark to them for a few minutes. It is not just Lamb who can apply the Mark of the Kindred, Wolf randomly applies certain enemy jungle camps. As soon as Wolf's mark activates, it will alert all players in the game, giving the enemy team plenty of opportunities to defend themselves from whatever the Wolf is hungering for. Wolf sets his sights on a new target every few minutes. To prevent either team from gaining information they don't deserve, Wolf's marks don't disappear until several seconds after the camp has been cleared. You will want to farm mark champions to get a bunch of passive stacks you can also play mind games with your opponents by marking lanes you are not planning on ganking to divert attention away from your true target. Kindred's "Q" is Dance of Arrows - a short range vault that ends with Lamb firing an arrow at up to three nearby enemies. Despite it being a short range dash, Lamb can jump over walls with Dance of Arrows making counterjungling much safer. Kindred's "W" is Wolf's Frenzy - passively, Wolf's frenzy builds up stacks as Kindred moves about the map. Once Kindred hits max stacks, Lamb's next basic attack heals them. Whenever Kindred activated Wolf's Frenzy, Wolf splits away from Lamb and claims a medium sized area for a few seconds. Wolf fights independently inside this area but will focus attacks on whoever Lamb is shooting, but if Lamb leaves Wolf's Frenzy, Wolf will leave to reunite with Lamb. Also, the cooldown on Dance of Arrows is massively reduced while in Wolf's Frenzy regardless of which ability you hit first. You'll always want to fight insight of Wolf's Frenzy. So use the reduced cooldown on Dance of Arrows to stay in the zone and cause a lot of damage. Kindred's "E" is Mounting Dread, a heavy targeted slow that applies an additional debuff to it's target. I'f Lamb's able to attack them three times in quick succession, Wolf lunges out to deliver percent max health damage. Mounting Dread is great for starting your ganks, it's also really useful when you are facing large enemies. Kindred's ultimate move - "R" - is Lamb's Respite, a large blessed zone that prevents all living things inside of it, ally, neutral and enemy, from dying. Kindred casts Lamb's Respite on a target ally, blessing the ground beneath them, and while everything inside it can still lose health, once they get to around 10 percent they become immune to all further damage. Surviving the Hunt: Lamb's respite only safeguards the lives who stay inside it, so as soon as you are pulled, kicked, our headbutted out, you might die. Lamb's Respite lasts about four seconds and heals everything inside of it by a flat amount. Use Lamb's Respite to save vulnerable allies or even yourself from death, with smart timing you can keep your low health pals ticking for longer while they whittle down the enemy team. Kindred is a pretty complicated champion, combining the hard parks of marksmen, junglers and even Bard. Kindred is squishy compared to most other junglers, and especially early on can lose so much health in jungle camps that they will be forced back early, but not if you are smart. Unlike pretty much every other jungler out there, Kindred can stay on the move and use abilities, especially Wolf's Frenzy and Dance of Arrow to kite jungle creatures while they whittle them down. Just don't go so far out that you reset the camp back to full health. When fighting jungle monsters pay attention to their patience level right above their health bar. If it empties and turns red, they'll retreat and heal back up. An awesome side effect of kiting jungle camps is that you'll also build up stacks for "W" passive. Whenever it is maxed out, attack something nearby while you move to your next camp to heal up and resume stacking. Don't worry about fighting whatever you attacked - carry on with a little more health than you had before. Marking enemy champions is totally unique to Kindred so it is pretty easy to forget to use it. Keep a constant eye out for enemies you can mark and pay attention to the enemy jungle for opportunities to claim even more stats. Here is your basic ganking pattern: Get in behind your opponent, tag them with Mounting Dread, activate Wolf's Frenzy, and a low Dance of Arrows cooldown. Getting Mark of the Kindred stacks is important. but don't make the mistake of thinking they are only way to scale into the late game. Risky invades without vision or risky dives will often put you further behind so farm safely until you spy a mark you know you can secure. Kindred should collect marks with friends, because the enemy team will always know which monster Wolf has marked they are much more likely to contest the camp. Lamb's Respite saves everyone from death, so whoever wins the fight comes down to who plays best at the end of the Ultimate.

@Boethius I feel that am in some sense, because I am going through one and it is the subject of constant scrutiny for some reason that I have been pushing back at for a long time - so when going through that and then seeing the collective lack of discernment... this tells me that deeper awakenings are not that common because if they were then it would be something that would be understood in public places like this. I don't see a lot of people here having undergone the absolute necessity to completely let go of identity and culture to get to a blank slate for as long as I have, and for the amount of time that I put into it every day. There are things that I have experienced that I need answers to and not only can the people around me continuously not provide them and misunderstand me nearly every step of the way, but these experiences make me feel like I my nervous system got stuck being able to channel way, way, way too much and have nowhere to direct it, meditation brings it up even more, and it comes through the absolute silence and stillness just like everyone else. I need a genuine shamanic teacher. I'm being absolutely pummeled with the need for humility, just to have the chance for the taste to understand something greater. This comes from a place of not being able to find information at the depth that I need within communities like this and that being a detriment, not something to boast about; the lack of qualified teachers out there that can authentically instruct a person through the spiritual realms is a huge detriment. And back on topic with this: I think if people went all the way through and found themselves to the core - that they would find that if people were allowed to develop their full identities, that we would dress with the most extreme and brilliant creativity. It would be a taste that would just keep developing because the need for expression and Truth and beauty go hand in hand. Humans would look so ornate. Something tells me underneath it all that an aspect of this extremity is Truth - that everyone's inner beauty would come out in a way that is unimaginable to what we have now. This isn't judgement, this is me deciding that my worldview might have more validity than I give myself credit for - and that I am tired of having to fight for it - because it takes me away from my inner peace, my sense of creativity and well-being. I do think I am human, btw. I just think that the soul is something that evolves from many lives - and that there are things you can tap into, like totems, spirits, archetypes, deities, ect. Shamanic beliefs. I simply think that the human imagination is a turning point because we create our reality - if oriented just right that this would bleed into the next life in a way where everything changes, the whole world, like watching a fantasy movie or something. I feel this is true, and that maybe it is something that humans have a right to. That the levels we could develop this would be amazing. That maybe if you can make it that building the next life is the gift we have for the imagination we are given in this world to be able to dream up the things that we do.

I think that all you need to do is accept them, and if you can't do that then at the bare minimum, then leave them alone. it isn't really anyone's place or concern to decide for another person if they need help, or if they are just fine. There are many spiritual explanations for these sorts of things. Ultimately, underneath it all, you probably just want to judge and decide for these people what their identity is, and to mold them into what you think is right without having the qualifications or the psychology to even understand such people. It makes you more destructive than people who are just living their own lives, not bothering you in any way. People like that are secret control freaks trying to use those who are the easiest targets to hurt. In many shamanic cultures, animal totems and spirit guides are frequently used - and even embodying the animal spirit. I see people will views that Leo has instilled that are just as harmful. This place is collectively, kind of an echo chamber, a bit of a waste bin for those too cowardly to do genuine spiritual work, and to understand the depth that it takes to understand one's self. Sexual transmutation is another thing, and it offers solutions to trauma, removes blockages, helps to integrate identity and so forth. I would argue that no one here is qualified to judge any of these people as I don't see anyone who has undergone a spiritual transformation with any degree of genuine depth whatsoever. What I have noticed, is that this place has become a collective where everyone runs around watching what everyone else is doing instead of focusing on themselves and doing their own work, and when you do it, it does become highly individualized. If you don't understand this, then you're just a cardboard cutout of the real thing. You could very well cause damage to another person with your presumptions about who they are - on top of that, those presumptions stick - you end up adding more confusion, it directs people away from where they should be. I mean, you are taking vulnerable people with identity issues and inserting who YOU think they should be. How do you think that is genuinely going to go for someone? It tells me that the "shark" in certain people can sniff this out in someone and that is ultimately what they are trying to dig at, because it is right there and easy to do. It is on the level of deciding for someone how they should deal with death, cancer, life purpose or anything else, really. Sexuality is deeply personal. By shaming people you cut off any chance they have to heal. I question sometimes if that is really, underneath it all, the end goal of people who latch onto those who are so outwardly vulnerable. It's subtly corrosive. I don't dig it. Each time you poke at such people, you take away any chance at all they have of healing in any real way, you "restart" a transformative process and corrupt another person's innermost self and call it caring. It's not. It's just control. Sexuality takes you back, it is primitive and essential in order to integrate the lower three chakras. If you have not understood it to the best of your ability you will never heal or understand yourself. How people do this, as long as it does not harm anyone, is their business.

Step 6 - Escape for a time. Head out to the countryside or less populated areas or get away from where you usually work or live to reset your energies. You will find that your mind feels clearer and quieter, emotions are steadier and you can reset to your natural balanced state of mind and will also physically feel better, too. Getting out in nature around natural, peaceful energies that are free from life's ups and downs, you can literally reset. (Moving out of the city in June or July.) Step 7 - Black tourmaline. This acts well as a psychic protector. It strengths and reinforces your own aurra to help anything bounce off of you like a forcefield. Keep it on or around you. It wards off and deflects negative emotions your way, sleep with it under your pillow if you get bad dreams. Step 8 - Houseplants. Even if you are still around the thoughts and feels of the people around you, plants are a natural influence. They help to cleanse the energies in your dwelling and you pick up on these energies and feel a more natural, balances vibration to reset at. Like a benchmark for feeling balanced and calm. Plants can help give you that guiding feeling subconsciousness of where calmness is. Step 9 - Grounding. The reason why we do this is to tune into more balanced, natural energies. We want to tune into the energies of the earth and sun this time. Strong, natural, energy which will overpower the energy we are picking up elsewhere. A visualization for this: Stand up and close your eyes and take a few minutes to meditate standing up and when you feel ready visualize roots growing out of your feet and going deep down into the ground, imagine those roots growing down right through your chakras and down deep into the ground and feel the energy of the Earth flowing up through your roots and into your body, cleansing and healing you. Now imagine great branches growing up from your arms, head and shoulders up into the sky. Nice and tall and imagine leaves sprouting and photosynthesizing the sun's energy. Imagine a beatiful, glowing sun. A nice warm sun, not too hot, on a sunny day - a lovely, comfortable temperature and imagine photosynthesizing that sun's energy. Let that energy come down into your body and meeting the energy of the Earth.

For the sign just down below: Like indoor trees growing without light, all plugged into a collective dream, they wish for clear skies and grass to put their roots in - victims of "the system". Dark energy. Yearning vibration; take to the mountains. Notes - Why might we want a new spirit guide? We might want to approach something in a new way or gain new skills or have guidance in a certain aspect of our life, because different guides have different specialities just as humans have different expertise. We appreciate the guides we have but we might be wanting to approach something new in our lives or make some changes, even if it is for healing - we might want to attract a guide for that - wouldn't a guide automatically step up? Sometimes yes and sometimes no. There are many aspects of our life, and it's usually those things we have a lot of focus on, a lot of will, emotion - we don't have a spirit guide for every aspect of our lives. Many of our guides help us with lots of things but we may make the decision that we really want to pursue something, to send our signal out to the appropriate guide to come along now. They may have been destined to come along, there may have been a "maybe", depending on our path in this lifetime, or we may or may not have chosen to follow a particular path - so the spirit guide may be aware of that, but perhaps we can move things along by sending a signal to this new potential guide in love and light to come and join us and help us on our path. This means I am close - ☝️I just wrote whatever, I don't really know what to say on Youtube comments tbh, I just wanted the screenshot for my journal/scrapbook. Guides can be quite specialized, so for example if I wanted to become a counselor, then I might request or send a signal to attract a guide that is really good at helping with that. If I decide that is my heart's desire and joy and what I want to do, maybe I want to get the process going and send out the signal for skills as well? For example in speaking, science, organizational skills, motherhood, ect - one guide can come and then go and another will appear in love and light. Your signals can be subconscious. Another reason to attract a guide is if we don't know our direction, for instance seeking our purpose, we might want to send out a signal that is waiting that knows what our potential could be but we are struggling to find it and by sending out that signal to them it brings them closer to us in order to help us to find our purpose. They can't step forward until you ask. So even if you do not know you can send out the signal to bring in that guide of a high vibration with the best intent, the greatest good to join you now to help you know what your direction is if that is their speciality - if that was your potential. This is proactive - getting help from the other side. Being proactive rather than being caught up in a stuckness, and then knowledge comes to us more easily because our guide is there to psychically and intuitively impart that to us and rising up through our subconscious mind for us to access via our unconscious mind and then we know what do to and we can utilize their guidance now rather than later. Approach more of these lessons we have come to learn in a positive way. All possibilities are known, all paths are known, and so a guide will be available - there are more spirits than humans and they are just jumping for this chance. Because all is known, there would be potentials there for us to fulfill whatever it is we want to do, fulfill our potential, learn new skills, ect - there would have been the probability for us to do these things, so there will be a guide out there somewhere it is just connecting with them and bringing them forward. So you might know what you need help with or you might not know. You might want help from the guide to help you find your way if you are confused: Step 1 - start looking into the thing you want to do and as you do this you will send out the signal to attract what you want. Step 2 - pick two or three things that symbolise this and place them around you ready for your meditation. If you don't know there is no need for the objects. Step 3 - meditate focusing on your breath, having the objects around you if you have them and do this for 10 minutes. Step 4 - set the intention to connect. Say something like, "I am connecting with the guide who can assist me at this stage in my life in love, light and understanding." It is beneficial for both parties, this union. Step 5 - wait for a sign. It might be a feeling, a light within the mind, a touch, words coming into your mind clairaudiently or a sense of knowing. Step 6 - pose a question to them, this challenges the being, you can say, "Will you assist me with the highest intent for the greatest good?" Step 7 - feel for the response, if it is a yes you can feel it with their positive energy. If it is a no then they would not have come along anyways and the challenge in the first place makes sure of their intent. Step 8 - thank then and open your eyes when ready so you can move forward with your guide's support now. You felt their energetic connection, make sure you pay attention to that so you know what they feel like next time you connect with them. Now you have brought them forward, they have accepted it, so there it is, a presence to help you move forward with whatever challenges you face and this will be easier with their guidance. Reminder: Go over what you have on Monday and make notes/rehash. Try to make a habit of this every few months to get an idea of where you are at in regards to your shadow work, and also so that you will know whether you are going in the right direction or spinning your wheels. This can help you stay on the right course pertaining to outside opinions as well. ?Time for a reset. ?️

I had hoped to write a lot more, but I have had brain fog for the past few days and lost what I had thought up - maybe tomorrow I could work on what the citizens would look like? I had an idea for something diverse like a coral reef, sleek, glows, communities, different "fish" schools, ect.

My grey area situation happened as follows, I share it just to explain that these things are often not that easy to prove all the time and that women face being told that their experience is not truthful far more often - even though if someone has been raped/abused it is not hard to be very earnest and clearly distressed - this makes being told you are dishonest even more confusing - So, I had a childhood friend who had a girlfriend that he got at 17, who was another close friend - and they both had never been with anyone, so they asked if it could be me because they trust me. It starts off well, but the girl gets uncomfortable so it makes me feel uncomfortable, too - I don't say "no", but turn away a lot, or leave, move his hand, ect - but he pesters me. I know he was abused as a child and wonder if he just doesn't get the hint because he seems so in his own reality - smart, though - but not socially gifted. Not awkward, either, he just didn't know he wasn't awkward for some reason... so I kind of just try to be polite and avoid it when we are around one another as much as possible. And think, "Okay... is this my dense friend... or...?" Another friend of mine was felt up by him and she confronted him and he lied about it, I stood up for him because he had not done it to me yet - so I didn't know, it just seemed more out of place that he would do it at the time. She was often attention seeking, and he was so mellow, I just assumed she was being dishonest because she would seek attention sexually in odd ways. But then he when started to do it to me, and subtly mentioned areas in his lack of morality, without a care or understanding as to why things were wrong, he would let that slip out and I took note. Because I did not say no, I didn't accuse him. But I noticed him trying to feel up my friend at a party one night. And then that friend who I did not believe told me he was trying to "sell me" at a different party... and he had created a situation for me when I was drunk that I would not have agreed to otherwise and that made me feel gross and predated on. I couldn't believe it. It didn't seem like something that a childhood friend would do. We knew each other very well, I lived with him for a short while in my teenage years when my crazy mom kicked me out for like the 10th time. But then, as I learned about his childhood (child sex trafficking of sisters) it made sense, and when a repressed memory came back up later on in my life that explained why I froze up when he did that instead of saying no - I point blank asked him if he knew that I had this feature that made me vulnerable and he said yes and that sealed it for me, so I spoke up - but no one believed me. Maybe it was my karma because I kept waiting, very stupidly, and because I did not want to accuse someone of something so severe. And I lost all of my childhood friends at a really bad time. Even though he had been doing this more than once, and everyone knew - it became like something unsaid and I broke that. And when those repressed memories came up, my family would not give me any information on it, so when one comes up now I just deal with it myself - they get shady about it, people don't care and tbh no person can fix the problem what happens at soul level just stays there. And when I told my ex, he got mad because I thought he would console me, but he thought it was some trick or something because he was paranoid about that kind of stuff, and then later on blamed me, told me to kill myself, ect. Any time I have ever spoken up about such things I get shut down. I think women not being believed is a bigger problem. I still think people can lie about that stuff, too, though. At this point I don't talk/think about it much. I remember an incident with an old friend where she did that, but she was going through a lot and was also like 15 years old at the time and was being put on a lot of drugs by her family. Those are some examples where a situation unfolds and it is not as cut and dry. Where there are signs, but you don't want to believe it right away, so you wait, even if your mind says that is a stupid idea. Every incident has to be looked at on a case by case basis. IMO, there should be signs if someone has been raped vs lying about it - the body will create psychological responses that are obvious when talking to the person - long stares, zoned out, flat, emotional, sometimes laughs a lot - maybe injured, ect - you would feel the injustice in the person when talking to them. If false rape accusations are a problem we need to address this because that comes back around on real victims. Because of people's phobia of this, I found myself not being taken seriously. I literally could not believe it. How could that happen? My family, my friends? I think there does need to be a bridge between fixing this - it hurts everyone. So what is the solution for dealing with an increase in false rape claims? I have no idea, other than people need to get really good at seeing these things accurately. So the solution would be to better train people to see the truth when these things get taken to court. And to sign consent forms to prevent ever having to do that. What else...? I don't know what to say about people who lie about it, how to stop that, or how to prevent rapists. Maybe better mental health care systems and resources for families so people grow up properly? That would kill two birds with one stone. The rapists and the liars.

In my experience, there is a lot of grey area with these things - with some all or nothing scenarios. I don't think it is very common for women to lie about rape, and that each situation needs to be looked at individually. If you have been falsely accused, that sucks, because that can ruin your life. The potential for the sort of damage it could cause would be immense, and it is not something to downplay. Maybe, as silly as it would be to have to do this - if you do not know them well, you could sign a consent form or something if it seems like it would be appropriate. That would keep you out of trouble.

"Karma is a bitch." When I see it, I am appreciative of it. It let me know that it could see an inner savagery in me - and I let it know that I could see this in me as well and that I didn't approve of it, that I wanted to integrate it. There is an inner animal that wishes to know the lay of the land and to move across it unhindered and knowing of everything that comes into its experience - and to move and to know and know and know - I feel like I want one thing, but when I see how perfect everything is altogether, nothing I want seems like it could create perfection in the way it should be and yet it is somehow. My spiritual intention is that if I could move across the board of interconnectivity without causing disruption to anything on a larger scale from ignorance, then I would - it would be a graceful dance - my intention is to "grow a backbone" as well, I am ruled by fear. My intention is that I am ready for shadow work, but not too much please - I don't want to damage the interconnectivity through my blindness - I request learning how to clear my energy and protection in the spiritual realms as well as this dimension. ♱A fundamental element of human nature is the need for creative work; for creative inquiry, for free creation without the arbitrary limiting effects of coercive institutions. ? ??♱???????????????????♱??

This makes me think of prima materia. Another experience, I had just gotten to the top of a peak awakening and felt like I could make a wish to end child abuse, I could see how everything was so connected. In this video - near the end. The blackness, the stars, the interweaving of good and evil. I worry it could be one of these: http://www.lawofonesociety.com/index.php/other-materials/higher-density-learning-4-5-6-7/who-are-the-orion-group#:~:text=The Orion group passes on,you would call technical information. Tried the song lyrics, got this: https://www.teemingbrain.com/2010/05/26/shadow-visitors-sleep-paralysis-and-discarnate-dark-ones/ Sounds about right. I see it in this animal - as an archetype, or something that has a lot of significance; representation of the noble father/ruler/guardian/partner - and it holds quite a few keys to opening up old trauma - I don't fully know what I would find. I feel as I write, I could almost remember but I am not going to for now. Or I will be given the realization that it is like a "spiritual heat", like a "soul heat" - that my soul is giving off signs of being ready for something, but I don't know what that is - only to go outside and see this a moment later - to go to the store and I won't tell anyone what I bought, it was an embarrassing, and totally accidental item. I see on the bus, "In case of emergency, pull the red handle" - "Key bank, use the red key" - go to visit family - look at where we are at, "Dogwood St." I had been thinking about homes in the spirit world. "Grow a backbone" comes to mind. Along with the exchange of energy - as well as a garden or forest I was wanting to make on an island. I feel like it is a mutual curation - so I was asking for things thinking that it was ultimately me doing so anyways - but I guess that there is more to it. You don't get to order fast food. Culture seems to be an obstacle. It is in a "daze" space, I suppose. And it sounds like just a bunch of coincidences, but it doesn't factor in this life/awareness that I keep seeing in the blackness. I feel compelled to figure out what it is - like I need to know, my soul needs to know what it is. Is it God? The Godfather? The Dogfather? What? I'll look at an old Lisa Frank "Memory Book" and it has two dolphin in the ocean with a ball and I sense - "Do you want to play?" Or I will look at it, and then look around the room and there is a reset, and I am "young", like how the brain takes in the world, and there is a slight bubble keeping me from fully being in there, and I can sense absolute fear and anguish and I feel other beings there and they say they took parts of my memory/soul away because I would not be able to function knowing what happened. My fear is that it will tell me something at an inconvenient time or harm my soul. Not a fan of the song even a little bit - but it looks like this inwardly. Or "feel-looks", I guess. You can see the eyes and stuff. It is like here, but energy is used just outright without the middleman. I worry that knowing these things means I found a stash of things that I shouldn't have. I wish I could get back to love and light, but it's not like ignoring it will make this energy go away - still gunna be there like ink-blood telling me stuff. And I've just found this - and for me, here it is. I see it. Taunting me. In the past, I tried painting over the face on my artwork, and this shows up - I stabbed it in the eye with an incense stick, I just wanted the energy to stop and a wayward glow sparked in the pupil for just a minute and it was alive... right before I covered it with a white layer of paint and played an anti-demonic chant from Youtube. I find things like this and I wonder if that is me - is that how I am seen? Is that how it is felt? This song gives me feelings that I ultimately don't want to address in how others would view it, if they ever would know. I look at my e-mail: "your time is running out" "tripping ants build mushroom shaped nests" - and each song lines up one after the other day after day - uploaded just in time for exactly what I am feeling - for things that are very particular to me. It sounds crazy, I hope it is. But if not, maybe ultimately accepting it would change it? I feel like maybe I need to rush through shadow work privately and try to ... do something. I think that sexual magick is very powerful, too. I think there is a key within it that could do something, what that is I don't know. Using a dark energy ball for manifesting work Notes: Using the black/dark energy ball: Dark matter/energy is the reason for 95 percent of the expansion of the universe, the power dark energy holds, it is extremely misunderstood. There is a lot of science involved in spellwork and manifestation. Helpful method: A lot of knowledge can be gained through invocations and evocations from the entities themselves. One can also learn a lot from demons, also known as ancient Gods, amazing people will come into your life, by accident, by synchronicity, and these people can teach you things that possibly you are too busy to even think of because you have your own blessings and gifts to bring to the table. Dark energy is very powerful, misunderstood and seen as bad but the truth is it isn't bad at all, it is really powerful in life energy. Great visual of "dark energy". I feel this. This feels right, too. ^ This is why a lot of people wear black for their protection, black is powerful, it is good for protection spells, like candles, tourmaline, ect, protects you from negative energy. When doing spell work a lot of people use divination. Tapping into the situation, getting a sense of what is going on and feeling the emotion before doing the spell work. When you do your spellwork, (you can do this on your dreamboard as well) - you will want to rub your hands/palms together in a circular pattern - try to be as comfortable as possible and try to not "hop" i.e. get too excited or think about too many things at once. When you are extremely relaxed and calm and you have your spellwork ready - using a hexing jar as a spell example, when you have what you need inside the jar, rub your hands, and feel into the friction, as you do this, bring your hands away and you are going to see a black, dark energy ball form between your hands - your hands will be warm from being rubbed against each other - you will feel the power of the dark energy ball between your hands and once you feel that this dark energy balls is big enough - you have to see greatness happen within the ball - once you fill the energy with your intentions and feelings/pain are in the ball and the pain/positive you want to send others - you are going to take the ball and put it into the jar. Visualize what you would like to happen to happen, but visualize it within the dark energy ball - once you place it in the jar you say your prayers and shut the jar closed. If you are using candle magic you can use this same method with candle magic as well. Visualize the energy ball spinning around and over the spell and everything that is going to come out of the spell, see it within the ball that is now on the spell. This is a powerful spell - be sure to use it only if you understand the full ramifications of cause and effect, as energy given is energy returned. My ego: (I don't want to work with dark energy!) No choice. The umbrella signifies spiritual protection. Feels. At least I have an umbrella. I think. I hope. I feel like I do, it is going in that direction. https://ammazulu.com/law_of_one_lesson_11.htm This link has a lot of valuable info - notes later. Talks about entity possession, and red and green rays.. I wonder if you can use both? What would something like this be classified under even? IDK... more tomorrow. Need to start a meditation habit asap.

You say, "The burger they forgot to put in the bag that you shared with your dad - it is still at the McDonalds waiting for you." We use Golden Arches because they're easy to remember and to see, especially for confused and lost souls. I remember something very similar to this in dreams where I know/feel that I am dead. I am always looking for someone that I know and can't find. I am walking in a daze down a darkening desert road and see this off in the distance and I go in and get something to eat. I remember how neon lights looked, they were very beautiful. I think there must be some sort of city of the dead. I bet it works with energy and consumption. Like, I bet that there are kiosks for pleasurable things like food, stuffed toys, things that you can imbue with love or that are very good - to keep you going when the sun goes down. I feel as though in another dimension this is how it works. Like a maze or something. I get caught by gluttony a lot. I remember stopping at kiosks that have Japanese stuffed animals, and I am being lead through an energy mall by my partner hand in hand - we are running away from something heavy chasing us because we broke some sort of rule. It is exhilarating and fun. I try to grab all of them and I can't carry them all - but they're so cute I want every one of them - so I am running away with all of them only to get caught by the energy that ends up being another aspect of my partner - I feel confused. I am raped by it, and I struggle, but once I give in I am given the knowledge of anything I could need to know right there - it looks like a clear, starry sky - face pressed into cold, but satisfying desert sand. "Be not afraid. Godfather. Outside cultural frame. Be humble to see. Will bleed through in certain areas, pay attention to this. Love the darkness. Never stop learning, always a monkey's paw in the mix - be sure to spot those. Addict, consumer, this is the energetic resonance of it. Be humble, we love humility." "To See clearly you need to give to get out of a consumer narrative, even if you don't feel well. Instead, fall back into yourself from outside of your cultural narrative and keep your mind open, clear. Nothing is set in stone, you could be royalty or a fool depending on how you approach us." Not a fan of this song, either. I don't like every key I get, I follow sometimes what looks like it has the most consciousness in it, or maybe just the lyrics are good or the art may not be my style but what is underneath is trying to break through. I view them as ingredients. <<Good.>> (lol) When I am shamaning, the ayami and the assistant spirits are possessing me; whether big or small, they penetrate me, as smoke or vapour would. When the ayami is within me, it is she who speaks through my mouth, and she does everything herself. Some sort of archetype of "the father"." Darkness is not evil, it is just sharp. Jutting. Existing within as a primal force. Many different ways to read something, most of the paradigms right under your nose. Important to keep in mind during divination. This stuff has a power to it I should do my best to be respectful of. Always a monkey's paw. You think you know and then it throws you for a loop.

Thank you... good boy! Good job! ??