Loba

@SamC Stage yellow views on what does it mean to be a man; hope this helps you somewhat.

http://maryshutan.com/

Got the guns to protect myself Got the banks to protect my wealth Got the laws that are keeping me safe Got the jails gunna lock you away Feel it in my blood, feel it in my bones It's in everything I love, everything I know.

@Esilda You're welcome, welcome to the forum. <3

@Goldzilla Thanks - it just sort of developed itself when I was contemplating and trying to get back to the state where all just 'is' right now and everything is more illuminated and had gotten close. That happens frequently to me and it just sort of develops itself in that state when I'm inspired. I am not enlightened and still have a lot of shadow to work through before that happens. But I can get an idea of what the difference in state is when the ego is shed... for a time. There is that knowing there of the direction I need to go in, and the experience of no death - but I just don't have the "I am the all" experience quite yet, usually I experience other souls around me and stuff like that, so in Leo's awakening video on where to place it, it's like advanced beginner. There is so so sooooo much more to learn. So it is supposed to sort of represent my soul becoming awake just during that time. Kind of like the sluffing off of the mental and emotional layers, and what was left was just spirit, or shakti, or whatever the energy that comes from feminine creativity is, the one that changes shapes a lot, has it's own consciousness and causes events to unfold in a certain way in order to express itself. Kundalini perhaps? I'm still in the process of understanding it. It's the knowledge that comes through after death acceptance, like in between the lines of the words you use for an object, the illumination of it just being what it is. Like being very focused on an art project, and the self is gone and flow just takes over, muscle memory, inspiration and it is like being moved by a creative spirit. It doesn't happen to me too often though, and fizzles out after a week or two and then I have to wait for the cup to fill up and focus on other things during down time.

@Gianna You're welcome, keep up the good work! @RickyFitts Agreed. @Esilda Thanks! I like it, too, it helps me organize my thoughts. I will check yours out as well. At this point in time, I am just working with basic shakti energy and trying to understand it, and use it for different projects. I'm not the best at writing, either. It can be hard, like a whole paragraph can be written about a single feeling that took place in a second, and I totally get it.

@Leo Gura You also have two videos showing people how to practice memento mori. Through going into my fears of physical death, and facing them I have the same sorts of awakenings on the illusory nature of death. Just not the being God myself one, this hasn't happened yet. But I can intuit a technical process that happens after the body dies, and beings from beyond time have given me info about the nature of death as well. The soul seems to go through a process after death that reflects their beliefs and knowledge, karma and the like - so how you die and what you know about it will have value. For someone like you, you might not have a lot of karma and other things to keep you here for another round because you are already so knowledgeable on what God is in the firstplace. But there is something there. I can look at "death", which seems to be life as well. And pull stuff from it in a certain state, like a rabbit out of a hat or something due to serious sickness back in 2017, I opened that channel up. Have you studied reincarnation or any of that? It's pretty interesting actually. I've decided to reincarnate a few more times just because I would leave without knowing enough in this life. There's so much to learn about. You can develop siddhis from going into deep study and delving into one's personal hang ups about death. @Goldzilla Not really, most of them are quite ordinary claims.

Memento mori - contemplating your death, is one of the most transformative spiritual practices imo. I have learned so much and have had many awakenings through this. You can't avoid it or go around it, you have to go through it.

I added three NDE channels to my list there if you want to look through them as well, some are quite fascinating, a few people have died in very strange circumstances to have been able to have an NDE at all and I feel those have the most value to them in terms of proving what happens in the afterlife. I have had some experiences related to dealing with the afterlife, but not a direct NDE so I didn't feel it was worth sharing here. Sri Aurobindo's 'The psychic being' offers quite a lot in terms of explaining what the soul is and what to expect after death. If you have had awakening experiences, it will be easier to parse what's being said. Different cultures have been mapping the death process for millennia/centuries. I think those cultures that have a closer connection to it are worth looking at, for sure. I have a feeling that actually understanding the technicalities of the death process does take a decent amount of study, and even then, no one could give you an answer without writing another book on it. I think there are a lot of different ways it can happen and it depends on what you want, and how much you have learned. I think it is like an onion, a progressive removal of layers over many lifetimes. I've never experienced being God, as the One God, but I have experienced my soul group, and ancestors and deities and things of this nature and have had a few transcendental moments where death was seen through as illusory.

Knowing what happens after death often takes serious study (unless you have had an nde). https://sanjeevpatra.medium.com/psychic-being-c99b55ae12c4 We don't die radio NDE radio with lee witting NDE accounts

@Esilda Same here it takes a lot of time, and a bit of insight before I can write like she can. Gianna has a way with words, I like the journal and tend to write a lot of notes when reading books/listening to lectures as well.

I wish he could be less blunt; I try to stay off Leo's bluntness radar.

If this is it - If for just one more time then this is it - then nothing is on the line. Break molds to satisfy the other sides in life. Strong holds to gather strength and always realize. We are that magic that you leave upon the floor. Cause other you's and other me's were busy dancing once before. That magic If this is it, then this is it.

@Myioko I'm glad you liked it! I like the chants/mantras that have a more raw kind of sound to them.

I love coffee so much. It is such a nice complement to have with a bowl of sativa, and then to sit down and listen to a lecture or work on art; I can really get immersed in it. I've learned so much using just these two tools when doing contemplation. It feels like I can get into my subconscious easier, that is loosens rusty gears and that my body is more in the present moment - so the awakenings and insights come from just enjoying how wonderful the body feels. Coffee helps to direct my experience as well, I don't feel like I get running thoughts or unclear messages when I have had a cup of coffee.

Don't worry about people being jealous, enjoy what you love to do and shine the best that you can. If they are, take it as a sign you are on the right track. Wish I could give you better advice than that, but trying to make people feel better about you being good at something isn't fair to you. Expression of one's self is key. Don't let yourself be limited by others.

Oooh, nice find!

???????? - ? What is this living conscious energy that expresses an endless amount of potential? Like looking up at the fingerprint of a giant, cosmic thumb slowly coming towards you; it makes up the sky and all of the stars within them. Magnetic, thick, sometimes male, sometimes female, natural, nature itself, dignity and death, answers and comfort. Sometimes a quick, karmic snap in order to make a change happen or to see myself clearly. No labels can be attributed to it, it shows up of it's own accord as some sort of Watcher within my own eyes, mirrored back to me. It is clever, genius, instinct, pure genetic potential expressed. Darker than the Light, heavier than the Light, but not evil and still created from Love, still illuminated like Love, but it is the complexity of actions and philosophies I do not have mental access to. I am not clever enough to understand it in full. I accept this. I had forgotten not to attribute it to the image that it gave me, and I did... so I could no longer See it, thus the karma between it and me. Honesty works. I told it frankly, where I am at, for the psychology that I am blessed and cursed with in this lifetime, and that I need more lives to really understand. That I signed the paper, so to speak, but my attention waxes and wanes. There are other puzzle pieces to put together and I can't focus on the Goddess to this extent forever. I need a pleasant lifetime to follow it. I just want to observe it in nature for this upcoming life, and then maybe in ones to come I can learn about the philosophy behind what Kali is. The name for you will be different, or there will be none at all, but I will find ways to love You in all your forms. You guide my soul from now on, from one life to the next as I take on aspects of your nature and embody it - you become a part of this world in physical form. I become darker and darker throughout my lifetimes. I am asking a lot to start out with, so that I may become what it takes to be one of your devotees. You are the twilight just before the setting sun. I will be a Goddess one day, I don't know when. Only now do I know the potential for it, and how to go about it with intention. I hear angels. Waking up from a psychosis is like having an old personality sluff off. A confusing one. My memory is terrible, this doesn't help with learning a new way of being. Makes things difficult. I think Kali is in individuation as well, thus why she seems so elusive and far away most of the time; and with the angry mother that raised me, and my weaker father, she is like my shadow parts, too. I used to be very afraid of the movie "The Ring" and it gave me night terrors and phobias for a many years as a teen. She reflects this nightmare that I used to live in as well. At odd times in life I can point to something, and it all lines up, and I can see her, or sometimes him - 'that' is Kali. That which is beyond time itself. It holds the answer to expanded consciousness, so I always feel compelled to follow it. Automatic writing with some inspirational music usually does the trick. Sometimes it feels as though I just 'know' things about the universe. I can make a wish come true. I can change the direction of my soul and create my next life just through desire alone. I can communicate with beings. I hear angels, and ancestors and I can feel souls... I draw. There are a lot of good things here to grow for this lifetime. I worked hard for what I have. This is key. And yet, aspects of my life leave me very disadvantaged. This is the problem with being a savant. The imbalance is never seen. We are shows for others and this becomes a way of life... to perform. I need this so bad. With my heart and soul, I need a good guide to help me expand my consciousness. There is something just beyond the veil and I know it will blow me away but I'm just not quite there yet... I need to dip a toe in the water over the course of many lives. Slow and steady wins the race. ????? ? Yeah I'm going up tonight like I should know better Faded focused on your eyes, know I'm a go-getter Know it’s colder on my side, we let the road wet up Nights in a row get up, you know I know pressure Came up dripping gold metal God is, God is falling like rose petals God is, going crazy we won’t settle God is, God is falling like rose petals (rose petals) Count your blessings.