Loba

I was wondering that, too. I was thinking, "How does he buy chickens then? What do they come in, like a paper bag? Tin foil? Cardboard box."

Pfizer. First shot, three were no side effects. Second shot, with two nights of sweating profusely, four days of an achy arm and that's about it.

And then I found out how hard it is to really change Even hell can get comfy once you've settled in I just wanted the numb inside me to leave No matter how fucked you get, sorrow is there when you come back down Funny thing is, all I ever wanted I already had There's glimpses of heaven in every day In the friends I have, the music I make, with the love I feel I just had to start again Ignorance, fear, selfishness, need and lack of love and lack of consciousness - all five of these point played out in your scenario with this person, and this completely explains why they hurt you. Very clearly replay this situation in your mind and notice the real root reason why you were hurt because this person acted out of ignorance, weakness, fear, selfishness, unconsciousness and a need for love. If you still can't see this, keep replaying the situation and keep contemplating it deeper until you see that this is true, it is just a question of how deeply are you willing to go inside their minds to understand their motivations. Can you see how in this situation person was not being evil, but actually this person was trying to be good and was trying to seek love in ignorant ways and that's all this situation boils down to - all these situations boil down to - seeking love, in some form or another. People seek these things not knowing why they are seeking them because they ultimately think that it will lead to satisfaction and look for this in unconscious ways, so apply this to your situation until you can see clearly how this is so. Maybe they cheated or lied because of their life history. Really see why the person behaved the way they behaved, dig deep. Bring to mind all of the times in your life when you acted out of ignorance, weakness, fear, selfishness, unconsciousness and a need for love. Notice how you do this, too. It can manifest in very different ways, maybe they cheated on you and you have not, but we are trying to go broad with this - get abstract - so look at where in your life you have acted out of these flaws. Where in your life have you needed love and acted in such a way where it hurt others, but you needed it so badly someone else got hurt. Draw that commonality between this person and yourself. What you need to see is that this is not personal. These are universal dynamics of human behaviour in life. You weren't hurt because it was personal, you were hurt because someone was acting on instinct while looking for love. You don't even notice sometimes when you hurt somebody, it is not even obvious. It might not be obvious to the other person either because of different world views and value sets and being occupied with looking for love, they can't see the collateral damage. That in a nutshell is ignorance and lack of consciousness. Notice how in your life you try to be good most of the time, when you hurt others it is out of an ignorance of some kind. Now apply this to this person in this situation. When you do something bad in your life, you are still fundamentally good, the badness is a failure and oversight because of fear, ignorance and weakness. Really, it is difficult to be good but most people wish to be. Notice that this person who hurt you is fundamentally good and are trying to be good, they can't help it because of the lens they live through, just like you. Find the common threads between all human behaviours. We are all struggling for love, we all fear, we are all ignorant and selfish, unconscious to various degrees. There are many degrees of this. Why is that? Different circumstances. Different times. Different values. Different worldviews. You know deep in your bones what these things are, what a struggle it is, because it is your entire life in a nutshell, these obstacles, these limitations you know intimately so you should be able to draw a deep common link between this person and yourself. We all have the same struggles. Knowing all of that, now that you are more conscious of what is really going on are you willing to forgive this person for the very same things that you struggle with? How can you hold a grudge for being selfish and fearful, needy and desperate when you yourself are those things and have been those things your entire life. Are you going to sit there with a straight face and judge them because they were struggling to get by? To meet their needs? You will have to judge everybody and yourself too. Can you be so strong that you drop the need to get even with this person, with humans who are ignorant, selfish and scared? Can you let it go? This is crucial because a selfish, hurt person wants to get even. A generous strong person can extend mercy without needing to get even, which is the highest strength you can possess. To be hurt and to not retaliate because you are secure in yourself. If you were hurt, a lot of times the person was hurt by somebody else, so it is a chain of hurt. Somebody screwed you over because they were screwed over, ect. Are you willing to be strong enough to break this chain of hurt, or are you going to be a link in the chain and pass the hurt onto somebody else, if you carry the hurt, it will bubble up in unconscious ways that can inadvertently hurt others. Do you want to be the type of person who carries this hurt and transfers and carries this hurt like a virus, or do you want to be strong and cut the cord, the chain right here and now, and save somebody else from incurring your hurt. Is that who you want to be? Your options: 1: Do you choose to keep judging and not to forgive them? This is the weaker choice. 2: Choose to be selfless and good and cut the chain of hurt, in which case you choose consciousness, wisdom and love over fear. These are the consequences and you can now make a conscious choice to move forward. Are you strong enough to love even when others are too weak to love you? Or are you so weak you wait for others to love you before you extend your love to them? Are you strong enough to love without requiring your love to be returned back immediately? Do you dare to love someone who hurt you? If you don't choose to love them, then you are being less that your higher self and less than you are capable of. You are doing so out of fear of what would happen if you loved somebody who hurt you or was ignorant, which is repeating the same cycle. You have the option to break the cycle of ignorance. Before you can forgive the other person you must first forgive yourself for all the times you have been ignorant, selfish, fearful and needy for love in your life and have hurt others. Why forgive yourself for this? Because that is life: life puts you in a bind of ignorance and survival, and life and survival is complex and counterintuitive and it takes trial and error - you have to start from zero, blank slate, and you learn. Others are doing the same thing. This generates the full highs and lows of life. Are you willing to forgive yourself for your flaws? When you frame it in a universal way, these are forces of nature, it is like forgiving gravity. What is there to forgive? It's just a force of nature, it is not personal. You and everyone else is in this existential bind of life. A lot of people just don't know how to cope in healthy ways. Don't overlook that. Don't assume others know how to cope in a healthy way and that others have that knowledge and wisdom. They had to cope without the information that you have today - we can search for any information that is available. Keep replaying this situation with this person in your mind until you realize that anything less than forgiveness is beneath you. You are too strong and too good not to forgive this person. Keep doing that until you have forgiven this person and then check to see if there is any judgement or resentment, and keep going through this until you realize that their actions are your actions. And that to forgive them is to forgive yourself and visa versa. Do this a few times and you should be able to let go of all past hurt. And that's it.

Ooooh! Good questions, I am super curious about the answers people give you.

@Endangered-EGO Yeah tough crowd.

Why fight it? Look for reasons where it is an option: Most people don't need to... rarely is it an option if you need it. These videos can help. Looking at it from a distanced perspective, 3rd person perspective. Be as rational as possible, not emotional when you dissect this. Create the right mood or wait for the right mood to happen when you can really dissect it from that distanced place. Also, I have been there and understand how it feels if anyone feels this way please send me a note to talk. <3

I have names for my two cats, but I don't view them with the name, I look at them with an intent to see the creature in front of me. The moment you use a word for something you create a division between that thing.

I have used: Mushrooms when I was younger and had a few interesting experiences but did not know about spirituality then. I saw colours more vividly, the room is usually in pieces - like fine small details due to my autism and PTSD, and this was cleared up and I saw the whole room in its entirety for what it was as a complete picture. It temporarily cured my myopia in that way and I saw wholly, like a child again. Another time my ego was trying to die and it freaked me out to have that profound inner emptiness that I snapped away from it quickly to focus on my tripping friends. LSD - once, I tripped with my friend's boyfriend and we watched Ren and Stimpy and I realized the genius of expression. That the creator was at the top when it came to drawing emotions/caricatures/expressions - each cell was very different; the amount of variation they used amazed me. Weed - I smoke weed often and have had a bunch of awakenings on it, too many to name, I've experienced a lot of strange spiritual phenomena over the years. I use it to calm my mind down and for stress/PTSD and it helps me regulate my emotions as well. I use it when I listen to lectures also, although I need notes to remember what was said (lol) I can abstract easier on weed and so more insights make it through. I can focus longer and so insights that require concentration make it through to me as well. It does make my paranoia worse - and sometimes my delusions worse - so I have to be mindful and am getting better with it all the time. I have tried hard drugs as well, but never got addicted and did them for the experience only. Stuck with weed. Some great experiences, some sucky experiences, but nothing profound came from them. Weed has been the most helpful and the easiest to control. I feel so loving when I am high, and my understanding of myself increases, I don't feel impatient or aggressive, my body feels comfortable, I can meditate, focus easier, imagination increases, my channeling is more proficient, ect, ect. Weed is super underrated as a spiritual tool imo - I would not access certain insights without it. It helps me enjoy/feel good in the moment and hack my brain when I need to, and food tastes great.

High school and some college. I want to get a dog training license. And take some art and psychology classes in the future if my mental health improves and I feel I can take that on. I've always had trouble in school though, despite having a high IQ. It's the whole paying attention and remembering what has been said that's so tough, even with notes. But these three things I am good at and could pass even with some trouble focusing. In a year I will revisit this, I will be settled in a new home and will be doing part-time work. (recovering from psychosis, takes a bit of time to get back to original functioning, I tend to get more of the psychological freezing more than anything else) So that's why I am behind. Still directionless. I'm just going to work on myself the best I can and take it easy for this lifetime, learn as much about God as I can and I think that I will dissolve my karma and won't have so many problems in the next life to work through. I do wish I had more education, though, and for those who are wondering if they should go to school... I would do it. There are so many more opportunities for you if you have a degree.

@RickyFitts Me too, I love learning from other women. This whole forum in general is a rare gem. I should appreciate it more than I do.

@Esilda The odd thing is, I don't get any notification when you/Ix send me something. @lxlichael Same here, let me go check something, I should be getting notices, I don't have restrictions on people sending me any notice, but they are not showing up, nothing on ignore either just a bunch of old account from who knows who that I just removed. Can either one of you send me a note and see if it shows?

He was as great then as he is now, maybe he just wasn't as in tune with that then after doing all the work he has done on himself. Good job, Leo, I mean that 100 percent. You managed to grow so much you should be so proud of yourself and all you do for us. But you were perfect then too, never forget that.

My fav. channel for women/girls is The Perception Trainers Good for: self, body, image, spiritual understanding.

@Esilda You have just the right level of extroversion that this forum neeeeeeeeeeeeds so much! Inclusiveness, and vulnerability and kindness, this forum will change into a beautiful butterfly with the right level of feminine touch, I can guarantee it! <3 <3 We need more women who are inclusive like this, it's not a common trait. Not authentically anyways. You're rare.

@Leo Gura Isn't it interesting how just one small action like that changes the course of everything, it's almost as if your life was designed to awaken, and to avoid or mitigate things that would have been in conflict with that. I worked as a game tester for Nintendo back in the day, it was not a fun job. Very monotonous. Now you're a spiritually developed, rich, famous YouTuber that people look up to and want to emulate and you have the freedom to do what you want with your life. That's pretty sweet.

@Esilda Haha, no worries <3 *sending positive vibes your way*