Loba

I don't know anyone in my life, when I was in my 20's who acted like this. I think the whole redpill thing is off, because "saintly" women, women who "sleep around", single or multiple partners, good or bad men, high or low quality, we kind of just went with who we liked the most. There wasn't some sort of inner game where a guy with higher status was considered better. This may happen with really top tier models who are looking for the millionaires, but most normal, average people are looking for the same thing - which is compatibility. I don't think you have to worry too much about hypergamy unless you're doing the same thing and showing interest in women who are out of your league. Most men want a woman like this, but guess what... they are the same as women in your league. They need the same things, they worry about the same things, you know? We don't need to regulate the dating market because the only women you want to regulate are those you (not you as an individual, but the royal you) probably won't ever get. Don't worry so much about these sorts of things, just focus on finding someone who is a human being. Try to relate to women more from that level and you are ahead of the game. Wish I could give you better advice, Emerald has you covered here. I would just try to reject what a lot of these really dry, almost doctor prescription-esque views of women. Try viewing women instead of "women = the animal", try "a unique chick = a person with a life story and history just like you." I'm in my 30's now, before a lot of this social media stuff was happening, and the girl who slept around a lot, was just as sweet, innocent and loving as the one who waited. People just... talked... and if there was compatibility, great, if not, then we reassigned roles and became friends. There was little drama about the whole thing. This red pill stuff, it feels like reading a dog behaviour book, but for an intelligent human that has more emotions and nuance. These human behaviouralist sorts of worldviews don't really work on real people, we are too complex at the individual level. Try getting to know someone, as a person first and see how that goes. I don't get dating nowadays, it is so much different from my day, and it seems like it changed SO fast, too. Like I'm not that old, and I feel like I come from a different world view as just folks who are ten years younger. I wish I knew what happened, because it isn't mostly for the best. I don't look at that stuff, like dating advice and things like this because I don't want to give a script to someone that isn't me. It's inauthentic. @Emerald What happened to the dating scene? My 20's was spent with a few guys, but really just one guy on and off again for about ten years. I don't relate to most of what is said about women, because he was just a normal guy... not top tier, no one talked like this, either. What do you predict it will look like ten years from now?

@Preety_India You will! The unified field is within self love/love of all things equally, you'll get closer the more you love yourself, life will feel more clear. What we are underneath all of the social/familial stuff that was imprinted on us is actually is pure magic! It's like liquid gold. All people have access to it, too.

@Preety_India You're very welcome, I'm in the same boat; it takes time but the results are worth it and you will see results pretty early on, too! It's super important to learn on the path, it makes spiritual awakenings much easier to have with that self love in place. Self love over time, will make things like this image come alive almost with the energy of pure love, beauty, truth and warmth. Self love fixes so many things, and opens so many doors as far as seeing with clarity goes, it's the first and most important step. Take all the time you need on this, but if you feel a lack of self love I would strongly suggest starting a self love practice, something to feel within you every single day. To put it simply, your entire power as a human, and as a spiritual being rests in this one step. Because everything is You, if you separate something as less than, it can no longer be a unified field of consciousness. You see? You are it. That's the cure! Love unifies everything.

@SQAAD For sure, sometimes with more spontaneous arrhythmias like the one you have, it can be harder to "catch it in the act", and with the week long use of a monitor, they will know exactly what is causing it, from types of food, to certain exercises, emotions, the position you sleep, ect. I just don't want you to feel scared when you don't have to be and there are many solutions out there if it gets to a point where you need it. You'll be okay. If it gets worse, send me a note because I went through the whole process getting my heartbeat regulated. Have a wonderful day. <3

@Tudo You're welcome, I hope it helps! <3 I did! Well, I knew it meant female wolf in Spanish, but not Portuguese. There are probably a lot of similar words, Spanish and Portuguese. I love that everything has a female and male name for it, even colours! We have a white can named Blanca.

@SQAAD That's good, if it gets worse, there are medicines that can correct the heart beat, I have an arrhythmia, too and I take medicine for it and it got rid of the off rhythm of my heart and it beats normally now. So if you feel scared about your heart, just know there are things out there than can help. You can also strengthen your heart by starting with light cardio a few times a week and eating a heart-healthy diet. I was really scared, too, when my heart was not beating properly and felt the same way. If it increases in the future, ask the doctor for a heart monitor that you can wear for a week, and then write up the activities you were doing for that week and they can see where and what was causing the irregularity.

Are you taking any beta blockers for this like propranolol, or have you seen a doctor about it? 8/10, most of my spiritual practice is about overcoming this fear of death. I've had a phobia of it ever since I learned that we die.

Perception Trainers The Nemeton This Jungian Life Templesounds Starpilot 33 Special Books by Special Kids

This entire channel, not well known, is all about learning self love, on the physical, mental and spiritual levels - as being the most important part of spiritual practice. I've posted some of her stuff below - she is about green/yellow and her videos are very informative for someone who needs help in this area. These are all the different types of lack of self love I could think of posted down below. Check out her channel if you have the time, she's quite "real", which is refreshing. Good luck! I wrote some notes on this very topic here: Notes: Why self-love and nourishing who you are today (learning how to show up for yourself, internal self love) is the foundation for everything: You must learn how to become your own safe place. Everything is built on top of self-love and it will be very hard to fix yourself and change your habits if you do not love yourself - but with this tool everything else will naturally come. We don't need to force ourselves to become something and it does not work. Go slow on this path, this is the fastest route. Embrace it. Your subconscious has been programmed for a certain action and it can unlearn it and learn a new skill. There is a reason for why we do what we do and none of it is that we are bad or wrong or stupid, incapable or self sabotaging or self hating - every reason comes down to this is what we learned in childhood, and if we want something different then figuring out what we need to do instead and get the body and brain on board with the new thing is difficult. If you just do this one thing - making yourself your own safe place, everything you are capable of; progress comes from this. Without doing this, your nervous system will not let you do the other things. Results will not be quick. It will be the same thing over and over again. Deal with your guilt and shame before working on other skills because if you try to fix yourself without this foundation then the other tools will not work. If we don't understand where the lack of self love came from and if we have confusion on what is good for us, where if we do things in the moment that feel good that have bad outcomes, if we do not understand why this is happening then none of this will make sense and will look somewhere else thinking that it is just a bad part of you. Everyone thinks they are an exception to the rule and the horrible thing inside of them must be fixed because of the negative outcomes, however this is not the case. There is no quick solution and you are not the exception. This applies to everyone because although we are all different, we are not all that different. So listen up! In our childhoods we are in a temporary reality, a codependent reality where we are not capable of understanding or meeting our needs and are completely dependent on our caregivers to meet them for us. That which is supporting our growth leads to pleasure. That which does not support our growth causes pain - all living things share this in common, we want to grow and humans are very complex and so is life - it wants to express its potential and live. In order to live, we must be continually growing. In order to be continually growing, we have to be taking in new information; feedback loops, cause and effect. We are all evolving here on Earth. This is the fundamental element of pain and pleasure. When we are children we are being programmed about how reality works. Children have a good connection to their instincts - pain and pleasure - because they have not been programmed yet, so their connection is stronger, but they are not more knowledgeable. Caregivers are meant to teach their children how reality works, and to show us how to meet, to understand our needs. We only have control over our expression of pain and pleasure in this lifetime. Our caregiver's approval means survival for us so from day one we are programmed not to pay attention to what our bodies are saying to us - when caregivers "go away", I don't get my needs met. Needs get met from someone understanding me and meeting my needs. When I am rejected I am at risk. That is our first program. Approval. What should happen in a healthy environment, we start to develop autonomy, we are given tools by our caregivers for understanding when we are in pain that a need is not being met, and to identify why there is pain and to be able to change it - pain and pleasure experienced in a neutral way. When we experience true pleasure there is no negative backlash, this is the different between real and fake pleasure. What actually happens is because humanity doesn't understand itself or how reality works - struggling to survive - and creating systems based on misunderstanding on how to survive, this complex web has created a consensus reality, which is "this is how you have to be, what you have to do, good, bad, ect. and through our growth process we begin to experience something called guilt, shame, abandonment and rejection. So as we are expressing ourselves, as we are growing and going through the learning process, we did things where we expressed and were told we were bad. Or we were in pain and were abandoned or rescued and did not learn why we got hurt. This triggers the nervous system, "I am not going to get my needs met, I am rejected, so what do I need to do to to get back in their good graces?" So now we don't know what the original pain was in the first place. "Who do I need to be, what do I need to do to alter my behaviour so that I am approved of again?" So now we are two layers removed from real reality. An appropriate response, "I still love you, you are still loved and safe, how does it feel to have hit the other child for the toy?" Children would tell you that it does not feel good and would learn that hitting and taking the toy is a negative action. "You hit because that was your instinct." Then you can teach them to share once they learn the source of the bad feeling, if it is not covered up by shame, fear, guilt, ect - their nervous systems can learn to enjoy sharing. This is real learning, the child then becomes more complex through that interaction. Most interactions do not go this way - this takes away the empathy because all they feel is fear from the situation and freeze. What looks like self sabotage in adulthood is actually your body doing what it learned in childhood over and over again, now as an adult. Most of us as adults do not learn to be autonomous and to meet our own needs, with or without acceptance or approval of others. We take the codependent approach and think others hold the keys to what we need. So rather than becoming an adult and communicating and understanding our needs we become codependent with everyone around us, and when we are in pain because we learned in our childhoods that pain is wrong and bad, we connect to consensus reality, which is made up of stories and fantasies. "We are wrong or reality is wrong." That is how we learn to interact with pain. The shame and guilt always comes from "I am in pain because I am bad and did something wrong." Why do we do that? Because in childhood we only have control over our behaviour and nothing else, so if something goes wrong we assume it is our behaviour that caused it. So we all collectively move and act from the false assumption that pain makes us bad and wrong and so we project it onto ourselves or others. Self help, spirituality and self-improvement come into play with this because they are riding on the idea that the pain is your fault. Something broken and wrong about you because you are in pain - it all plays on your insecurities. We want to believe it is true because it makes it simple. "If I just do this, just fix this, then everything will be better." There is no questioning of the system. "You are deficient and here is the fix." And that feels good because it is familiar conditioning. Adaptation. This creates a learning trauma. Real reality is: it's either supporting your growth or it is not, and some of the things we are doing to cope are because we exist in a system that doesn't work for people, the rat race does not align with who most people really are. We are disconnected from our true selves. Being. Instincts. Pain and pleasure. We don't have the tools to learn what we need to learn from the instincts we are born with. We were trained to disconnect from the instinct to fit in, so people will meet your needs, so you feel safer. It becomes a loop of trying to fit in. The internet creates echo chambers where people who only interact with those who have ideas like theirs because we are so afraid, we don't want new information, we don't want to believe that the way we are seeing things is wrong because if we are wrong then we are bad and this is shameful and we don't know how to learn from that because we then have to learn to change and our bodies don't want that so we join echo chambers, and the world just keeps getting more divided because we are all stuck in nervous system trauma. The more we operate from, "How do I show up for myself right now?" and "What do I need to feel safe?" and "Why am I doing what I am doing?" and assume innocence and a good reason and it is not always my fault. Most of humanity is taught the wrong way. Pain = shame. Half the people = I am bad. Codependent. Half the people = you are bad/at fault. Pain really means something is out of alignment and what do I need to do to get into alignment. This is a long process to learn what these things mean to you. Reprogramming base nervous system programming from childhood takes a lot of time and it is hard to do, and is the foundation on which you have built ALL your other behaviours. Everything that you resist comes from not questioning your reality. If you were to accept yourself as who you are right now as loveable and good enough, that is what takes your nervous system out of fear and then you can start the process of learning from your experience. When we don't have this foundation, all the tools do nothing because we are triggered into a state of fear that forces us to do the same thing over and over and over again. This is why becoming your own "safe space" is so essential. It is not one and done. It is a continual practice of learning to show up for yourself when in pain, pleasure and be in the moment and as, "What do I need right now?" Start with self compassion. This gets rid of fight or flight, and then we can learn but it takes time to learn to stop abandoning yourself when you are in pain, so be patient. Investigate. See that you don't die. Be there for yourself. Do it again and again. Investigate, investigate, investigate. Assume innocence within yourself. If a program is stimulating your nervous system and disconnecting you from yourself, it is not for you - esp. if it is based on "There is something wrong with you." "What did you learn?" "Why am I in pain?" "Take as much responsibility for myself as I can." Self help can keep you stuck in a state of self-obsession, so try and use your time to contribute towards better things. You feel safe when you feel loved, so love yourself. It is a lot of work. But it all comes down to showing up for yourself with compassion and curiosity and assuming innocence. This is all you need.

This is a pretty good stage yellow podcast that has a lot of great information on how to heal certain complexes. I just went through about five of these over the past few days and have learned a lot - I haven't listened to this one but if it is anything like their other videos, then it will be packed with helpful stuff. I found these two to be pretty good. ^ This channel shows you how to create your own inner safe space and how to heal and feel self love no matter what, it's not a well known channel but there are a lot of gems there.

Her voice is magical. Reminds me of a goddess pining for how the earth used to be.

@Vibroverse Yes.

Kids are a pain in the ass. Cute and fun in small doses. Who knows, maybe someday when Leo is in his mid 40's he'll have kids, men have long reproductive lives.

I don't know. When I am in my dreams, I feel like I do know more and I try to bring it back here but I forget the information in the dream - like, I figure out or inherently know how this is a dream. What is freaky is when it starts to look like a dream, too. God shines through everything and life feels like an amusement park ride. I don't know how people can live in that paradigm though, and not go a bit crazy. It's super weird. Like a clay made from an invisible paint. In my dream it feels like this, like I just Know how imagination and intention create reality. And I understand that the dream world is just as real, when I am there it feels as solid and lifelike as right now. This is a dream that Michelle has, where she just knows the recipe for making post-it glue. It's like that, except I am conversing with other dream characters and it is generally a positive interaction... but then I wake up and the whole memory of it is just super blurry. But when I find myself there, I want to bring back the manifesting potential that the dreamworld has. Maybe it's not supposed to be brought back, or maybe I am not ready to really live in a world where everything is just imagination here and now. When you recognize it as just imagination, that is when the magic happens. A portion of it is realizing that death is illusory ime.

Martial arts, because you can learn to go into a meditative state when doing it. It's good for your health, physique, it is a good way to channel male aggression - I think for a guy who is having the troubles that you are having, that martial arts could fix a lot of your problems. Plus, if you get a lot of exercise, this can actually help with suicidal thoughts. It is taking aggression and frustration and channeling that energy in the right way, that's perfect - it would help with self esteem and being comfortable with who you are. I vote martial arts. Good luck, sorry you're getting picked on, that's not cool. It's hard to say, that I'm back on a straight line You see my path is in fact just a fault line It's in my blood, it's in my lungs and it won't die I fight these words, I bite my tongue so I don't lie Though it's me to blame There is no more shame in me, in me I just feel the same, immune to all this pain And the scars don't write a song for me at all I am a stone, unaffected Rain hell down onto me Flesh and bone, unaffected Your fool I will not be I am a stone, (I am a stone) unaffected Rain hell down onto me Flesh and bone, (I am a stone) unaffected Your fool I will not be I try to see and believe in the short sight Accept the burn of a vain and a half-life And how you rest your faith in these for a lifetime That hollow lie against my hope that I won't buy Though it's me to blame There is no more shame in me, in me I just feel the same, immune to all you say And the scars don't write a song for me at all No your tears won't line a path for me to crawl I am a stone, unaffected Rain hell down onto me Flesh and bone, unaffected Your fool I will not be I am a stone, (I am a stone) unaffected Rain hell down onto me Flesh and bone, (I am a stone) unaffected Your fool I will not be The waters rise above my eyes I will breathe it in and go out with the tide And when you think this is the end You will find me there where I have always been I am a stone, unaffected Rain hell down onto me Flesh and bone, unaffected Your fool I will not be I am a stone, unaffected Rain hell down onto me Flesh and bone, unaffected Your fool I will not be I am a stone, (I am a stone) unaffected Rain hell down onto me Flesh and bone, (I am a stone) unaffected Your fool I will not be I am a stone I am a stone

I dedicate this song to this particular section of the forum. In nineteenth-century Russia, we write letters We write letters We put down in writing What is happening in our minds Once it's on the paper, we feel better We feel better It's like some kind of clarity When the letter's done and signed

Your Super Serious Title is: The Moon Goddess Empath Your Total Score: 71 out of 80 Your Out of Control Healer Score: 7 out of 10 Your Protection Tools Score: 23 out of 25 How Much You Mirror Others Unconsciously Score: 15 out of 15 Your Appreciation for Nature Score: 10 out of 10 You scored extremely high on the overall results. You are definitely an empath. You can get by socially, although it sounds like your intuitive social skills could be better. Sometimes you need to be around water to heal. This indicates that you may need some healing work done on your second chakra. You love nature and unconsciously understand its healing effects -- which is a general, but strong indicator that you are an empath. You have a deep love and appreciation for nature. You recognize the sacred expression of all beings. You are truly wise. But you have a wonderful ability to sway and change the moods, energies, atmospheres, and environments around you. You need to learn how to recognize and differentiate other people's energy from yours. Learning psychic/empathic meditation tools will help. You scored the worst on the "Mirroring Others Unconsciously" portion of the quiz. It looks like you have a tendency to mirror other people and their energy. This means that you give up your energetic seniority at the whim of the world's changing winds (in other words: other people are able to control or influence you too much on an energy level). You would benefit from learning to control your crown chakra and probably cord removal or healing work. You scored very low on the "Has Protection Tools" section of the quiz. This means that your ability to protect yourself energetically is poor. You are like a psychic sponge. You would benefit from energy healing and empathic protection tools! Sometimes you've got it under control, but you probably struggle more than most people.

@IAmReallyImportant No. Don't worry, I scored high as well, but I have HFA not psychopathy. There are too many variables, all people are too unique for simplified tests like this. All the actually important values: like, not screwing people over, caring if you see animals/humans abused, ect, I agree with. A psychopath would not care. I feel more emotional range as well. I love my pets. I love my family, even if they get on my nerves. I did come from a very messed up home, but I have come very far from where I used to be when I was younger. I worked on it. Some of the questions are things a person has done in the past and it doesn't take account of the changes a person can make in their lives over time. I acted in ways that were unempathetic, but when I felt the results of my actions I did not like what I saw and made adjustments. I continue to do this, but I'm not very skilled at it unless I know a person or a pet very well. Then I can build a library of what to do and eventually I do feel more authentic. I think when I am calm and in a good place that I am very nice and agreeable. As for darkness, it's not something to mess with unless you accidently find it, and you have to use it purely for good, or it monkey paws on you later down the road, karmically. It has to choose you. An initiation with it. And it's more of an impartial judge than anything else. Ignorance, childlikeness, illness, that isn't used against you if you find it, just general true malice. There is a lot of wiggle room when it comes to darkness. If you use it wrong it will devour you in some way later on down the road through karmic retribution, though. I've experienced this as a cosmic warning before, for messing with things I wasn't supposed to. It's hard to explain. It is like a material, the material magicians and alchemists use. It's an energy , just like anything else and has a bad reputation, or is turned into something angsty or Hollywood - but it's simply a more "thick" boomerang manifesting energy. It's also a nothingness, that can sometimes come in through a personal tautology.

This thread makes me think of this song.

You score for primary psychopathy was higher than 41.76% of people who have taken this test. You score for secondary psychopathy was higher than 86.46% of people who have taken this test.

What it takes to begin a healing process: to be able to feel sadness at the awfulness and to be able to shed tears over what this person and many others really did not have, vs. all these ways that we defend and compensate, we may be able to talk about it, but to let those feelings in of how hurt and rejected that that was. One of the things that happens is when I reflect back, "that sounds awful", people will minimize or covering up the abuse vs. being able to feel those feelings that had to be locked up and shut away and reclaim the hurt and the grief, and a lot of other feelings that for the sake of survival could not be felt at the time. Core restorative part of analysis is that these painful feelings are thrumming in the unconscious, and they're creating a gravitational field that tugs and pulls on the web of our inner life, when we feel we have enough strength or enough of an alliance with the analyst, we can tolerate going down and risking feeling these things, and trusting that we can metabolize those feelings now in a way that we could not have as a child, imminent to wisdom to tuck them all away, you have to get to adulthood and have to find someway to make it. Why feel those feelings: because they are in the background exerting a gravitational pull and they still take energy that is not available for as full a life as we would wish for anyone to be able to have. Emotional trauma. It can be traumatic, this is the pull, sometimes there are explicit traumatic memories and sometimes it takes a while in the analysis to realize that it's the vacancy of feelings and memories; for instance a disappearing mother can be tricky to catch because it's the absence of things that should be in the psyche vs. the over potentiated distressing images that are hot in the psyche and both of those things just influences so many things. In either event, either case, we're talking about reclaiming the feeling functions, especially those feelings that most of us don't want to feel, that we are needy, or that we were hurt or that we felt rejected. We were little and needed help. These are harder feelings to allow to come to the surface and be fully felt than our bravery or our toughness or how hard we can work, or "I don't need anybody". In one of the places that will come out frequently with parental complexes is in the transference. Analysts sitting in the room, they say something, a turn of phrase, an idea that comes to mind, and then all of a sudden the client will activate in a very intense way, and then that's the first glimpse of the complex as it's being projected onto the analyst and it can be a bit of a gasping moment for both parties. Another configuration of the swallowing mother: as a child a mother who is narcissistic or who has a lot of needs, very extroverted, kind of engulfing the child, making all the decisions, constantly touching them, pulling them into the relationship with the mother rather than other kinds of things, something will rise up in the child later in life to want to attack all of that overwhelming and engulfing behaviour. Sometimes this will show up in the consulting room as an interpretation made causes the client to become ferocious about you daring to intrude on their psychological sovereignty. They don't know it's a complex, they really think you have become an engulfing creature of some kind and that is a really delicate dance. Watch for transference in the negative mother complex. We can will all good intentions step into territory where we provoke that projection and then we're in some really difficult territory and we have to see if we can find our way back and sometimes we cannot figure out how to break the spell. It feels like you have harpooned a moving whale while in a dingy. When you can work through that, that's part of the healing. Hugely. How do you heal it? One of the key ways is actually through relationship. Borderline personality disorder. Times people are upset or angry with an analyst, that those feelings are so important to come out and that the client not feel that he or she has to take care of the analyst by being nice and polite. Analysts invite to tell them if something come sup in a session that did not fit or sit right with them or come back the next week and let them know what bothered them and that we have to find room and make room for somebody's anger and for what comes up for them from their past in the relationship with a primary caretaker, the mother, and be able to accept and deal with and work through those feelings that this is going to be a very sturdy relationship that can hold that stuff. Not talk about outrageous and over the top behaviour, but the intensity of feelings that people can have. We have all had them,. An analytic relationship can be a major part of healing from a negative mother complex and other relationships can play that role, too. We can find a friend, often friends because then there is more breathing room in the relationship. Where analysts have had people tell them they had a very negative experience of their mother and then later in life they find a divine feminine friend, full of grace person who's able to bestow a good will, and an invitation to this particular woman, which brought her to an incredible softening and opening, blossoming of her heart. One of the things that is true and very mysterious about complexes is the way that they manifest out in the world. If we have had a very critical mother, we may meet her again and again, we might have a friend who's very critical, we might then have a boss who's very critical, we might wind up having a mother in law who is critical, and we keep on finding our mother again and again and again, and we may not be aware of the things that we are doing that provoke a certain reaction from others around us that put us back in that place of that mother complex, so it's like somehow the complex is really running the show behind the scenes and there is this uncanny way where people with that same constellation find their way into our orbit in a way that is unexplainable. The complex becomes a little bit like fate, but as we know from faerie tales, you can change your fate. Working through a negative mother complex, depending on the severity of it and some other factors, it generally takes a long time. It is not a quick fix. Because it is so much in the ground of the psyche because your primary caregiver for the first weeks of life and was involved in the originating neuroplasticity, all the first images, all the first sounds and scents and sensations in the body. That's laying the ground, so to really get in and be able to observe that can be miraculous, and the forces needed to shift that are miraculous. It takes a lot of practice. If you keep stepping into a minefield every time you try to have a friendship because you always wind up provoking, either acting like your mother or finding people who treat you the way your mother did - it takes practice, many efforts of finding a friend before the pattern begins to lose it's grip and you start finding your way to other patterns of relating. You can create new patterns, but it takes a long time. Circumambulating something is useful, it is not a linear process, it is being in it and walking around it, and circumscribing it in a way that contains it better, and then you can see it. Quote from Jung about: it takes a long time, and what he says is: the most intense conflicts evolve or come, leave behind a sense of security and calm which is not easily disturbed or else a brokenness that can hardly be healed. Given a choice between those two things and a lot of examples in faerie tales - you can be more. The hope is that with dreams and relationships of all kinds and introspection and therapy, we grow bigger - think of a sapling that has a big gash in it because somebody whacked it with an axe, and that is an awful thing for the sapling, but if that tree can become a full grown tree, that gash is not that big of a deal because the tree grew bigger than the wound. Another element that can be part of the healing process learned from faerie tales and clinical experiences: In the psyche of a woman, the animus plays a big role in healing this wound. Examples: Eleanor Oliphant - falls in love from afar with a singer in a band, she thinks he's perfection and she begins to mobilize some interests and get more interested in the outside world because of this and this is a great example of the function of the animus. He draws her out into life. Constellating power of the animus to focus our libido; life energy toward a goal and perhaps help us to seek relationship that would allow us to begin to engage these wounds. The animus allows the reconciliation or the confrontation with a complex that would allow for healing. It can feel like sliding down a glass mountain when working on a negative mother complex. Anima, animus demystified: a part of us that isn't part of our personal history and we see it over and over again in faerie tales of that the prince arrives out of the blue and something magic happens - this is a hopeful note that there is energy in the psyche, in the unconscious which Jung said over and over again is autonomous, it has it's own trajectory, it has its own life - that we know that's there and the girl from the book is drawn back to life - and to include some space in this part of the psyche for this healing process. The message is encouraging. You can do it. Negative mother complex shows up differently in the son than the daughter. If the negative mother is aggressive one of the ways that a daughter can live that environment is by absorbing that kind of power of the feminine and she can join the mother in this darker aspect of the feminine and the two of them can still stay full of agency and still be dynamic where often the son in the environment simply becomes an object and he cannot embody or identify with this constellation of the feminine. He is reduced to a swan, regresses into an animal consciousness, but the daughter is still able to stay active in that role because she can still absorb some of the dynamism of the negative mother because she can identify with her through the primordial feminine archetype, that is a dimension of how different it is. Another dimension is that in the psyche there is the negative mother complex which seems atmospheric in the psyche and then the ego feels like the child in relationship to it, but that polarity can often change and the person with the negative mother complex can be possessed by the negative mother and then treat other people like the child object. Somebody who feels very criticized might walk away feeling that there is a voice constantly picking at them but that polarity can easily switch around and that person can find themselves being blisteringly critical of other people because they know what that behaviour is like and they can access it. When someone has had a particularly negative mother they often feel like whatever I do, I have to avoid becoming like her and so they reject everything about that person and they might still unconsciously act it out, but consciously they don't want to be anything like her and that can be a problem because even the most negative mother has some positive qualities, but it's like the person can't let him or herself anywhere near those qualities, so for example with women it shows up if the mom has been critical and aggressive it may be difficult for the daughter of that woman to claim any kind of aggressive capacity because even being a little bit sharp feels like oh my god, I am turning into my mother and this is a way to keep it in the unconscious thought it's atmosphere is really in the psyche, when the realization is placed in the center of the space, the temple, the temenos, and then it can be walked around, but before that can happen is it haps to be named. And not only to name it but to experience themselves being besieged by the negative mother and then it is another transition which can be very painful for people is to catch that moment when we can talk about them acting out those same qualities and that can be just incredibly painful for people to understand how they are co-participating in this thing that they dislike strongly. It is important that it be out there instead of in here, it has been so wounding, hurtful. When we can recognize it and relate to it and relate to the parts of our complex that have become internalized in ourselves, then you have something you can work with - as long as you're disconnected from it, as long as it is out there and none of it is in here, you are too far away from it, and so it is a big process of really coming to realize what does my mother complex look like, along with a host of other things, because all I can do is work with myself. I can't change what is out there. You cannot change what happened, we cannot change the past. Humour, laughter is a way of melting the power of these qualities. Something unexpected comes up from the unconscious, whether it is humour or just some new surprising energy that kind of lands. Stopped around 50 mins in - finish up later down below. My sleeping karma. No meaning. Just a deep, profound emptiness.