Loba

I wish I could go, but that's way outside of my budget. I'd make good use of it, though.

@something_else You don't have your masculine core as just a part of you? Women usually have this as just the very core of who they are. It can be developed for sure, but most of it is just an instinctual free flowing kind of way of being. @K Ghoul We should learn how to use it. Maybe that is key - that women inherently have this innate power, but we just don't know how to activate it, or perhaps don't know when it is being activated.

@something_else Women are far from perfect, I am for instance, a woman who is a very flawed person and knows this. Women want a man that can protect them from the world and let them explore the world with you, too. That's what they want. Most women are still girls, because we aren't raised to become full women yet, and so women seek men who know how to lead more often than not, but lead with heart and soul and not their dick. We want to be able to let go of control. The world forces us to be so controlling of our environment, ourselves, who we are, we have to adapt to become whatever society wants of us - that all women want is to be able to drop all of that and be her feminine self, which is free flowing, open, girly, and fun. But most men don't know how to open a woman up. And the ones that do usually have "learned" this skill - it isn't natural, what comes from the heart, for those who learn it comes from their head instead. We don't even know how to open up ourselves, much of the time. Instead, the masculine does whatever it can to close a woman off, they view her as a body and not a soul, or as something that can be used as a means to an end. Femininity is ruined, and men did it. So we have to learn to be women ourselves - and once we do, we are free. From all men.

@Gesundheit2 At least I'm not telling her lies like, "they love you for your personality, heart and soul." I am benefitting from the things that are repeating here - I've learned so much, I will literally 'never' allow a man near me again if he has interest. I didn't actually know how bad men were until I spent a few years on this forum, had a few relationships, an absent father, let's not forget the molestation and "friend" trying to pimp me out behind my back. Oh yeah, men are WONDERFUL creatures. We should be singing their praises.

@Federico del pueblo You just want to argue to be right, basically. You don't want to look at the genuine issue, is that so many women are abused by your gender, treated like dirt, used, manipulated, murdered... WAY more often than my gender does to yours. My gender is about community and love, and yours is predicated basically on shit that humans should have evolved out of thousands of years ago. Aggressive, manipulative, and only capable of seeing women as an object. And of course, you have all these experiences from different women to back it up. I don't need to check my biases, you need to check why women develop them in the first place, it's not a chicken or egg kind of thing, you're basically arguing against someone who was abused by your gender - why should women trust abusers? They shouldn't... and I hate to say it, but most men are abusive, exploitative, ect. Or don't, let the woman learn that in her own way through trial and error, instead of having other women just tell the fucking truth of the matter - men don't view women properly, of course a woman develops biases over time, you can't screen each and every person, but when you go in with good intentions and people screw you over, and you learn why and where that comes from - it's too widespread to be a bias.

And it's not just me, you have many women here who live that reality. Who try and offer the very real experience of what it is like to be a woman, and are shut down, and told that their views are wrong for this reason or that reason, ect, ect. It's all the same thing.

@Federico del pueblo No, it's that you write in a way to provoke something and I'm not taking the bait. I don't need to watch any of Leo's videos on this or that - for one particular thing - which is that men don't treat or view women properly, and this is a huge problem - and something that young girls have to deal with to much greater degree. I don't spend much time in the dating section tbh - because you offer real world advice and it always devolves into this. This is advice from one woman to another on the reality of, I hate to say it, your gender. It is a harsh reality, but it is the truth. She will find out now, in her 30's or 40's, and it's better to find out now and to face the reality of what men are really about, then later. I've been through this, with multiple people, I've dated, I've had a few one night stands - I have outstanding pattern recognition - and I can tell you, that what I say is true - it doesn't matter what you believe, you're a dude, of course you're going to be biased and won't want to look at your gender for what it is.

Same here. I've been there, done that, now I'm here to offer the advice my daddy shoulda given me at a young age.

@Federico del pueblo You're not cool dude. Don't comment on what I write anymore. You're making this about me where it doesn't need to be. The reality this woman is being harassed by men... like you... and she deserves to know the truth about how men work. The difference between an incel and me is that I can get what an incel can't.

@K Ghoul That's usually what it is. Guys like young girls, it's just nature. That's why older guys approach young girls, I was young once, I remember all the old dudes following me around - it certainly wasn't for my personality. Actually, not true, I used to be much sweeter - but sweetness is ignorance.

@Username You probably are that, if you're making assumptions about people based on age. Also, big deal, I look ten years younger than I am, too.

As a woman, it is the man who defines the relationship. If you like her, then define the relationship. I mean, you are leading... are you not? If not then the woman is going to try and define it in her own way, whatever that might be, and it might not be what or how you want it. When men don't define it, she will leave, move on or find ways to try and define it without actually defining anything because she really shouldn't be the one having to do that in the first place if we still had some semblance of cultural norm nowadays, it would be the man who has the ultimate say if the relationship stays or not. Unless she leaves first, but for the most part - it is up to the guy to lead the beginning stages of how things go. You decide your pace, and she follows.

@Federico del pueblo I'm not looking to attract a man, I have everything I need right here, there isn't anything a man can offer me that I don't already have. Younger women should be aware of the realities of dating and I am here, as someone with experience in relationships and dating, and who knows the bullshit men put women through... - if I knew what men were all about at a younger age I would have done much better to protect myself. Older women learn about your ways over time, it isn't a toxic outlook, it's just a very real one.

@K Ghoul I believe it, too - that's probably how deeply you love, and how much reality can hurt sometimes. That's how brutal it can be for a woman in today's world. I wish I'd known about how men really are in my 20's, too, I thought that they loved the same way, to the same extent that women do, but they don't. Divorce sucks, sorry you went through it, but it is probably great to be free in some regards.

When I have a panic attack, if I am home alone - what I do is feel through it and don't think about anything - just feel it all the way through from start to finish. The first few times might be hard, but over time as you practice this it should get easier. What this does it let go of the anxiety stored in your body. View it as, your bottle is too full, and now it is overflowing - you can think and worry and add to the overflowing, or you can not think at all and just feel into it until it goes away on its own. Usually 15 mins - 2 hours it takes for a panic attack to die down. When you do this, the panic can be released, and the attacks will lessen over time. Some things that can help are to get a "sensory packet" together while you do this - things that have calming smells, textures to them. Get a weighted blanket and see if this helps, or a fidget spinner to negate some of that anxious energy while it is happening. It's all about feeling through, and redirecting the energy. I still get panic attacks, but now it is just a body sensation and I don't feel fear anymore, that's the difference. No fear. Often is just feels like I had too much coffee or something.

If you guys are at different places in life, it could be time to let her go. But this is up to you. There are options for people who wish to wait to have kids later in life, too. Have you discussed this, or does she want them at a certain time in life? If so, I would let her find that man who wants to have a child, too. If I were with someone and could not offer them a child (I don't want kids) I would let them go, and remain friends if the relationship was good. There is nothing wrong with changing roles if you guys are in different places in life, letting a relationship go doesn't mean letting the person go, it just means changing some definitions around, you know? You could find someone who doesn't want kids right now, or at all and date for a while and she could find a man who is looking for children soon and if it works out, start her family. For some women, family is very important, and so I wouldn't want to get in the way of her having this chance. But you know, she still has a few years, it isn't like you can't enjoy a relationship for a while longer, either. Communicate all the different options you have and pick one that suits you both the best and go from there.

This is why I've decided to opt out of dating forever and focus all my time on my own interests. I just see here how men try to twist shit around and I don't like it, and the level that it happens on this forum tells me that this is more than just a "this forum" problem, but that men are just aggressive, manipulative, and exploitative. The truth is, they don't care about you, they care about how you look and that is why they are going for you, when you are too young for them. Older women become wiser, it is harder to treat a woman and get away with certain things, it's much easier to do this to a young girl. That's the cold hard truth. It's not you, it's your looks, it never was about you as a person. An individual. This is just how men are. That's reality. A man has a greater vested interest in you not individuating as a person as a toxic mother does. They don't want you to come into your own as a woman - they want you to stay a meek girl forever.

@happyhappy True, it could all be metaphor, maybe it means for the internal - like the biblical war is all within? Or maybe it means, what is happening now - with how we treat the planet, that the end of days could come from collective greed? And that those who have worked on themselves spiritually will be "saved" or "at peace". IDK, I'm just spit balling and have no fixed beliefs on any of it, but I love to speculate on this kind of stuff!

@PurpleTree Na, because I don't try and back it up against others, I have my opinions but at the end of the day they are just that. Opinions. Rarely do I feel someone should be, unless it can serve a greater message.

@Hardkill IDK. I think he should be. He is spreading bad info. On black ppl and the virus... and he has a HUGE platform., let him go. He's corrupt af.

Mary Mueller Shutan and her books. Look at the eyes, a big key.

I would go to NYC - went two times as a kid... amazing city. A lot of culture, diversity, exploration, fun, adventure, immigrants from 'everywhere', food from 'everywhere', very special city. You will learn about more than USA, you will learn about the world.