Loba

@soos_mite_ah Both. The calm and the storm are reflective of where you are at imo. I am the same way, if I am in a calm environment where I can take care of myself and grow without a lot of stress, I am not neurotic, but the moment there is too much on my plate - it is like, I get overwhelmed with thoughts, and they take over and sometimes can cause delusions if they go on for too long - and then after a month or so of resting my brain - I am back to my "old self", which is very empathetic, good listening skills, good personal skills, kind, generous, all these good qualities that are so hard to maintain when stress hits. I feel a bit like a Jeckyl and Hide sometimes because I can't handle stress too well and spend a lot of time trying to improve my mood, so that I can function like a normal person. By baseline, do you mean - if you were stripped of nothing at all, that just the bare bones, the neuroticism would be a glue that holds a lot together? Like a frightened child almost? How was your upbringing, is there anything that happened that could have brought that out while you were growing? Because a baseline of neuroticism during stress can be a sign of previous trauma. How long do you have to live like this? Is there any point in the future where you will get the chance to have a more stress free life? Are you planning to build a stress free life for yourself? I would asap, and do what you can to take care of yourself in the little ways each and every day, even for just five minutes. I have started a self love and positivity journey and it is going well. Because that state, although later on is helpful for uncovering the shadow, in the moment it is very hard to do to be conscious while going through it - and tbh - you can uncover more about yourself from a calmed place, so although it can serve some purpose in seeing where you need to grow - prolonged, it doesn't help anything, and a calm state is going to help you maintain your mood/positive feelings much better, and you will also learn more about yourself when in a good environment. You can still grow, being stuck in a stressful place, but it is much harder and takes longer. The good states and the bad states are both you, and both indicative of where you are at - there just might be a split that needs to be repaired, and a lot of people have that. And it is perfectly okay. I would continue with your writing, and perhaps, in some of those darker moments, when you have the time, get it all out there. And feel through it, what is happening, perhaps what has happened - and put that dark energy into writing, because sometimes the darkness has a pattern of gold in it that you can't see until a year or two later. Do you have any time for yourself for a meditation habit to separate yourself from these thoughts? I would... meditate before writing when having these feelings to separate from them, and then inspect them like, from "above" yourself, like you just found a diamond and want to see every facet of it. Really get in there and get a good look, while distanced a bit from the thoughts... ...and over time, you should find a lot of creative material from within them, many solutions, and there will be a subconscious pathway that can help lead you in the right direction - it takes a few years of writing if you don't have a lot already down, but if you do, you can start looking for it now. When I had my mental breakdown and I went to the hospital for a month and a half, I wrote the whole breakdown down as I went insane for that year, and then later this year looked it over and found a lot of gems, about who I am as a person, that I was much smarter and stronger and more intuitive and creative in that moment than I ever thought I was - I had really... put myself down in a lot of ways because I hated myself, and seeing what I had written during those times gave me more humility, more creative material, more understanding of myself, my processes, ect, ect. So when you feel the darkness, really, make a trail - to bridge the two together and take the time to really make it 'you'. Because in these darker moments, sometimes we don't always see what makes us unique, so really showcase to yourself as best you can what you're all about, just get in there, into that subconscious and I promise the darker days will fuel some really beautiful things. Also, try to take it easy, if you can. Find ways to really pamper yourself, and just feel girly and lovely - set aside time just for that as often as you are able to. It helps. It really does. I got really deep into the neurotic thoughts and depression, it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I'm just crawling out of it, and after just a week of taking care of myself, I can already sense my self esteem coming back. Do you have an underlying support system/ structure in place to keep everything together? I found that I had to return to my parents and live with them in order to have this, for you it will probably be different, but getting that structure together made all the difference for me. My anxiety was mostly survival oriented and once that was taken care of, it's like I slowly began to become a different, better person. Letter from the universe, on the verge!

I'll have to go through and check the different threads and see what the commenters posted, because just going over his posts alone without context on his profile - I was honestly able to follow along pretty well with what he was saying just by the posts as a standalone - he was trying to get everyone back to the basics, it seems - and it looks like he was trying to indirectly point out some areas where he felt Leo needed to work on. I didn't get too much of an arrogant or even rude vibe, just kind of cheeky and playful. But if people were not understanding him and mentioning this time and time again, I can see why that would be a problem. I guess if he wants to teach he will have to bridge that gap - at least online, idk what he is like as a teacher in person. Okay, would you like to end it here? Of course, you just offered your opinion and I offered mine and they differed a bit, but don't leave feeling like you did something wrong for speaking out - you should have every right to say what you see and how you feel about it irregardless of if we disagree or not. I don't think we do, there are just some things that I have not looked into in order to fully form my own opinion, and it's good that you said something now, I suppose. Maybe, then, perhaps my opinion on people saying something later on is the wrong viewpoint to have, and what is more correct is that we need to build a community where people feel more free to express their opinions and experiences with members that are in a position of perceived knowledge/power over others - because we also don't want Truth getting diluted, either - by anyone who might be viewed as knowing more than other people, that takes their authority away from them. Hmmmn, that is probably one of the subtle issues then, that should be brought to light - why do so many members here not feel heard? How did it happen that so many people felt the same way, few addressed it, and it took something like this for people to feel safe saying something? What then, is in the collective environment that could change so that we all feel safe to speak our minds - that would be the first step to preventing this in the future. Something where even if not everyone agrees, everyone still has the chance to be heard - 'cause that's also not good that people feel gaslit if they can't speak up either. If there's those feelings, too, then there's a reason for it. Just spitballing here.

I literally have that and I use it every day, I open my bag and get a new fortune and contemplate on it a bit for the day and then set it down on my altar before lighting incense and meditating. In fact, I didn't get my two for the day, maybe they will have some wisdom... let's find out: I am not gaslighting this person, we just have differing opinions and I am trying to learn more, our conversation is actually very open, not gaslighty at all; I'm not gunna tell them they're wrong, I'll just offer my opinions and stance and go from there - I'm just practicing critical thinking right now tbh.

I think it is important to feel the full spectrum of human emotion as deeply as we can, when it comes up for us. But it can lead to an addiction for some - I recently made a post on how to change habits, and addiction was talked about: Notes: Try both, try treating it as an addiction for a time - and see what comes up, if the emotions are impulsive or repetitious and you can diverge, or sometimes just get stuck on an emotion for a long time and are not bringing it up consciously, this can be a habit and above is how to correct it. Now, if it's just catharsis and enjoying it as an experience in life, that's fine and healthy - it's up to you to figure out for yourself where you rest on that spectrum. Sometimes I know I am indulging in a sad emotion, but tbh, sometimes you just have to listen to a rough song to really connect to yourself. They say that connecting to your own pain can help you learn to connect to another's and eventually the world's.

*furrows brow a bit* I wouldn't go so far as to claim him a madman... there's really only one thing he did, which was accept too much money for something he couldn't deliver; but other than that, his posts would direct you to what Leo is talking about, too, and have before. They weren't bad posts, just inaccessible sometimes. I can be mad myself at times... maybe, if it were true, just getting the chance to take time off would've been enough, and a conversation afterwards about it. This kind of stuff sucks, because you want everyone to win.

@RMQualtrough Agree, I hate, and I really do hate to say it, but that much money and no progress is a scam. Raptor got scammed out of a lot of money, if it were anyone else this would be a different story, but because it was Nahm it is harder to take in. I don't admit that lightly, either.

@Roy Tell me about it, I have tried other forums in the past and they ended up getting to be too toxic as a collective, but this place seems to, for the most part, not have as much of that toxicity - but it could, and that's what we all together have to work on as a community.

That's kind of how you gotta do it, is just go within and build it from there. Gl!

@PurpleTree Agree with you there.

@PurpleTree This is the only place on the net you can work on peace on topics like this and not get banned or labeled a weirdo, ect. There are no other places to go to if this forum fails so we have to take care of it.

@Inliytened1 Honestly, I didn't know he was charging people for services, I thought they were free.

@Gesundheit2 *sigh* I know, we gotta turn it around! We need more community oriented projects to grow together as a group and that will settle the score naturally while people work together - but I can't think of anything that would work or that people would willingly engage in as a group. We should, ideally be working towards improving our own, and everyone else's lives as a group - so that this becomes the most healthy forum out there.

I don't feel that he is fully awakened, but I do think that he is 'very' awake. In some of his videos, like the solipsism blog video, he drops himself for a while to show his eyes, and if you look at them, you can see the energies and wisdom that he has collected - it's hard to describe, but it's like a tiger or wolf look that awakened people can get, but the eyes are shiner, more detached. One of my fave teachers; I read from her works - she, well, she has deep eyes like that, too, that transfer how awake she is - and she still has some ego stuff that I can see when I watch her interviews and read her works, but you can tell she has seen some stuff and has gotten very far in her journey - and that's what I see in him.

Like, what if people decided right here and now to take the debate energy, and make something each time the urge to debate or argue comes up? Like, actively take an approach to reduce debate and instead come from a constructive point of view? We could actively gather different pieces of the spiritual puzzle to put together and showcase the lives that we create for ourselves, like artwork. There are so many great things we could do together as a community and I suggest that instead if fighting or corruption, let's work on projects and improvement. The kind of behaviour suited for this place is a communal effort, I am trying to do my part by being less argumentative, focusing on growing and loving myself more. Let's everyone do more of that.

@Preety_India Same, I had no idea that this was going on with the mods. I thought, "Well if I work my myself, maybe other people will follow suit, like one or two, and then from those two, three or four more and so on and so on." And then this happens days later. I had actively decided to change my own behaviour and stuff on my own. Just because it doesn't work, I figured others would grow with me, too. Goes to show how little I pay attention, because there's been all this drama going on everywhere, wasn't aware at all. And now I am worried Leo will shut this place down; he sounded kind of exasperated in both solipsism videos, like, I think this place maybe isn't being used properly. It should be used like an accountability group, to work on individual problems in a group setting in order to grow spiritually together as a community - and it could be, like back in 2017 when I joined to about 2019, and then... well... things went downhill when Covid started tbh. I think the discussion should also include what we should do as members to help grow this community in the right ways, what seeds need to be planted and stuff. There's so many interesting people here, I would hate for something to happen to this place. I am a firm believer in transparency, personally, I have no issue with any mod or member here atm - just kind of focusing on my own stuff... but I really, really think this place could be used like a support system for new growth for people, and a place to share all kinds of different types of spiritual experiences, and less for debating, more for creating. We should all seek to become creators in our own ways, to grow these parts of ourselves and share and focus less on debates and ego matches.

Awww, sorry to see Nahm go, he has been a member here for years. Love you Nahm, sorry all this happened.

@PurpleTree I would/did, but they wanted more or I did. Male/female friendships rarely ever pan out for a long time, unless the two people are both already in a relationship, sometimes that can work.

No. A "male friend" is someone who just didn't pass the tests and is sticking around anyways.

Introspection is where you write down what you feel and are as honest as possible with yourself, and then later look and see where you can improve, over time, like say a year later - this improvement will look like a pattern and you can gain all sorts of insights into your subconscious desires and limitations from introspecting.

Algorithms getting stuck on the same shit? Need new music? I'm here for you. Next drop. ^ All good.

I'm worried for the future of mankind, but my future is secured and safe as far as I know. I'm hopeful that as I increase my consciousness, things will make more sense and I do feel hopeful for a future for myself, now that I will own a home, I have a place to stay and always build from... I go down to my shadow when I do not have that solid ground and I can understand that if the world doesn't have security, that they will act out, too. We need to distribute the wealth in the world better somehow... uhm...hmmmn... but yeah, the future for the whole world worries me a lot. I want everyone to have what I have.

I agree with this.