Loba

@PurpleTree That's the time to keep up with them, that's the time the brain is going to make changes. Check out the video, he talks about it. This resistance, if you can get through it little by little, it changes the pathways in the brain and increases myelin in certain key areas - which creates a stronger neuropathway to the habit, thus allowing more dopamine to enter the brain and the task becomes enjoyable. When you feel resistance or boredom, this is when the brain needs you to do the task the most. But you don't have to make it miserable, you can just go 'just' as far as you can until it hurts and then stop right before - then allow yourself, your brain, some sort of "treat" to train those dopamine pathways. Basically, treat learning to organize yourself like Pavlov would his dogs. Give your brain something good to expect from it. I know it sounds hard, but this advice is coming from someone with attention difficulties all her life, who failed in school and college because of it, who is coming out of it with a decent routine and I am a week away from doing it pretty consistently for a whole month. If I took a day off, which I do on the weekends, just to have a break - but yeah, if I took a day off I would just get right back on the horse the next day and would not feel bad about it. I took away the shame and inaction and now take about 50 percent more action than I was and this is increasing. I know how hard it is to get things together, it feels like, painful, the boredom or the task - but with small steps it is totally do-able. I am days away from being 34 and am just starting to get a routine together, so if I can, literally anybody can. I am someone who was completely hopeless when it came to maintaining a routine. INFP here - we generally start working on te (extroverted thinking aka executive functioning) in our 30's, and spend our 20's dreaming and procrastinating. You can do this. Start with things that change the brain drastically, like working out, this actually creates even more new pathways, and can heal a lot of these problems. Start small, then work your way up to an hour a day, that's all anyone really needs unless you are looking to bulk up or something, but just to be healthy, do cardio one day, then weights the next day and back again. Or better yet, if you live near an area you can hike, do that daily. You just have to eventually say enough is enough, I am going to change this, no excuses. My life is on the line. You think someone isn't holding a gun to your head because they're both invisible, but procrastination is as serious and life ruining. It can create mental illness, it can ruin your entire future. So you'll have to find the proverbial gun to the head metaphor somewhere to light a fire under you to keep going. Sometimes that takes hitting rock bottom and seeing the effects. When you make a routine for yourself, make one that is self Loving - that respects who you are and feels right. Something that moves you to enjoy a hobby - or gets you out more often, little steps mean the whole world and it doesn't have to be difficult forever, it does get easier.

@PurpleTree Don't worry about getting it all done at once, start a daily routine and set aside a half an hour to start with, or even fifteen minutes, then an hour after a week to tidy up. I have attention problems, too, and found keeping a journal on my progress to be very helpful. https://youtu.be/FSZyzhi8C9o <-- how to program a new habit, you have to hack your dopamine. Get a treat or something fun for right after to give your brain the reward for doing it. I found that crossing off or highlighting my progress throughout the day gives me that reward, find what works for you, be it a snack, time online, ect. Start off small and work your way up. Don't forget to add meditation. I suck at it, but still do it, 15 mins each day.

@Vision Awww! I so sorry to hear that you're having a hard time keeping up with that. I gained weight mostly from being too hungry all the time and eating the wrong foods, and a little bit from the medication. The medication did give me my energy back, so you might get that back and feel good enough to work out. It took months to notice that it was working, not just weeks. And I do have to push myself each day to stick to something that helps me maintain peace of mind - but it does get easier. I've been on these meds before, albeit a different combo and I gained weight, but it came right off as soon as I stopped, so if you try meds and gain weight and just can't handle it, the weight won't stay if you go off the meds for most ppl. I did have one friend where the weight stayed but that's not usually the norm. You'll probably have to change your diet around a bit and push yourself when you are feeling better to work out a bit more.

I notice this when I give advice, as I have Aspergers and do not have a good theory of mind, most of what I can rely on are my own past experiences and what works for me. When I give advice, I am starting to add things like "take it or leave it" "just my 2c" "only take what resonates" and things like that so that people understand that ultimately they have to look into themselves to find what works. I would hate to offer advice or an opinion that is harmful, or misunderstood so I am actively working on seeing new instances with a clear vision. It's hard. My personality type is also one that tends to draw from feeling and past experience rather than current data, so it's a weakness for sure, one that I see and plan to continue working on.

If you're more prone to mental illness, or have previous trauma, I would suggest working with a shaman or healer who can guide you through the trip to get the most out of it. At least for the first few trips so you have a mental map/road to take when/if you trip in the future. Just my 2c take or leave, either way gl on your journey!

@Leo Gura I am lazy, but that's besides the point. I can be lazy and he can be nuts, it ain't either or.

@Leo Gura It's not intellectually lazy, the guy is insane. Russians attacked/shelled a nuclear plant, one that if they had damaged it could/will cause a disaster 10x stronger than Chernobyl. Thank goodness they put the fire out. https://nypost.com/2022/03/02/russia-ukraine-war-news-latest-updates-from-europe-conflict/ https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2022-03-03/russia-attacks-cities-as-war-enters-second-week-ukraine-update

I take an SSRI and it helped a lot with my bipolar depression. I don't feel less feeling, either - just normal. I had a psychotic break last May and got on the right meds last June/July and it took about 4 months for everything to stabilize, so give it some time. They sometimes have to take a while to get the right dose. The only problem I have experienced on meds is weight gain, that I am combating by working out, but being mentally sound is way better than a bit of weight. Meds helped with my anxiety, depression and psychosis - they do work. In the mental hospital, most people improved when put on meds and given a structured environment for a time with community. I came out from the experience alive. I was suicidal at the time and days away from taking all my pills - I couldn't see a way out and the meds gave me my life back. It depends on how ill you are, I think. If you are very sick, then the meds can help quite a lot. Good luck! Also, try working out daily, this helps almost as much as the meds do. If I just had depression and didn't always melt into psychosis going off the meds, I would suggest to most people to work out an hour or two a day to reset the brain a bit. It grows the brain and oxygenates it. Certainly add this to your get well regimen if you have not.

@Vivaldo You're welcome, good luck with your beard. <3

@Leo Gura How come?

Burn through your karma. Shadow work. The best way to grow up the ladder is to do as much shadow work as possible. Really get to know everything about yourself as the human that you are, for this incarnation. Treat yourself as soul that is on a journey and is growing as much as possible. The Seth material by Jane Roberts and the Psychic Being by Sri Aurobindo are both good reading material that can teach you how to do this from a yellow/turquoise perspective. You'll have to do a lot of learning, detaching, and meditation. You will want to get to the point where you can see/feel the screen, where you are above your emotions and thoughts as the witness. When you die, you can imagine whatever you want. Nahm's dreamboard idea helps bring positive things into your life, and the actions you take will carry over. What do you want out of this life, deeply, feel into your soul. Love. Deeply. Do good things that feel in alignment with who you are and your purpose. Rather than worrying about the next life, make this one the best you can. This carries over, not the feelings of not wanting to be human - as the soul actually loves learning and being all sorts of things - what you can do is direct your life in a way that includes the next life. Do you have a goal that you would like to accomplish that would take more than one lifetime? Often, martial arts teaches that it takes a few lifetimes to become a master - and so people learning think in terms of next life aptitude. You can direct your soul in any way you like. But the best way is to open your heart and follow what that intuition tells you. Also, Love. Love deeply, as Love is what opens the doors. Practice Love. The soul has an inherent direction to move towards, and it is all just about uncovering that soul and moving in what feels most 'right' to you. Reincarnation is like a katamari, you pick up as much stuff as you can (learn as much) and when you die, you get to "make" your next world based on what you have learned. Maybe you will want to be human again, maybe something else. Think of yourself as an archeologist uncovering hidden aspects of your deep psyche. Practice your death, pretend you are dying right n ow and go through all of the experiences - do you feel complete, or that more needs to be done? Do those things, practice your death again - until you are at peace. ^Take what feels right and throw away the rest, or set it aside - follow what works for you. Break me in don't break me down Swimming in these empty towns I wonder if it's all so master planned Diving into sweeter bliss Falling fair before we miss Taste the taste before it's gone and you're too late Won't change what I am To find who you are Can't stay in these lines When I'm bursting at the seams My body might collapse If I carry one more dream If I carry one more dream I could be anything I could be anything Breaking out beyond the night Reeling in the quieter times Saving all the flavors of my mind Reflecting on the lessons learned The broken bonds and bridges burned Take the taste of hate and throw it away Won't change what I am To find who you are Can't stay in these lines When I'm bursting at the seams My body might collapse If I carry one more dream If I carry one more dream I could be anything I could be anything

@somegirl 'Cause some people genuinely get a kick out of it... trolls and so forth, they feel justified to crusade against what they consider to be wrong. Sometimes people who have a lot of flaws project it onto others because doing the actual work is hard, while it is easy to hide behind an image and make someone else out to be a monster. Literally, some people just spend their lives doing this, it's super sad in a way.

@Vivaldo You might, you might not. You might grow into your beard as you age, and never have to use it again, or it will grow your beard out, and you'll have to keep using it. It all depends. The point is, it is the best product I know of out there for anyone to buy off the shelf that can help you to gain a nice beard. It doesn't take much time to apply, I put a bit on in the morning on my hair line and then spread it on the areas where the effluvium took hold and all in all it takes about two minutes each day.

Use minoxidil for men on your face, get 5 percent. Hair skin and nails supplement as well. Get blood checked to be sure you don't have any deficiencies. Also, you are 19 so it takes a few years. My ex didn't even grow a beard at that age, it came in around 22-25. I had a problem with tellogen effluvium due to autoimmune issues - a few years ago and use minoxidil daily for it, and I have not had another bout of hair loss in 5 years, and even got some extra thickness in hair volume, the effluvium made it thin out. Now, it also made the hairs right above my eyes grow in thicker, even though I put it on my head, but I just wax them off and it's all good. So I know it will work for a face. Try it once a day for a year, take before and after photos and you should see a lot of growth. If you quit using it though, you might lose your beard so keep using it if it works for you. Gl!

@itachi uchiha It really is, I am just learning about it myself - and there is so much misinformation out there - the best thing to do is just sit back, watch and learn as much as you can. As this continues, the whole picture and the correct picture will become more apparent.

The worst part about these is that it takes away all the reasoning and pain behind why the person really committed suicide, of this we have no definitive understanding of the events that lead up to it. As someone who has been suicidal in the past, and has mostly worked through it - if I had killed myself and someone said it was because of this website - it would undermine my entire story. The whole reasoning - I think that people look for answers as to why people take their own lives and they want a quick easy answer, someone to blame, something, anything - but it's never that simple. That said, when it comes to this topic, I would be a bit more sensitive about it then you have been Leo, I know the fact that people have done this really bothered you a lot - but in the future, when people come here because of those reasons, try to give them some warmth if you can - you don't owe them anything, but it does go a long way, some people view you as their hero, or just some guy who "knows best". So take to heart that people look up to you, even sick people. Back to what I was discussing. I think this article does a disservice to the people who have killed themselves, because not only does it paint this place with a tarnish that it doesn't have, but it demolishes any attempt at genuinely understanding the pain someone must be in to end their life and I find that kind of behaviour to be "sick". To really understand why these two people ended their lives, we would need to understand their whole story. Don't cut off someone's reasons and place your own over it - it's so cheap, tacky, rude, disgusting. Not a well thought out article at all...

@Javfly33 No reason, I totally get it. I didn't take any offence at all. For me, it took a few years of acceptance. And then what opened up was a trail of understanding when it came to myself. You can start a private journal, and just start automatic writing - and over time, you can see patterns in your behaviour that make more sense. We tend to forget a lot of what we think and how we feel from day to day, and so writing might help you uncover where you need to work on or open up. Also, the therapist can help get you started if you choose to do depth psychology. I can give an example, so for me, my sexuality came from sexual abuse as a child, and being told to roleplay, to play, to view what was happening in a different light so that I would not remember what happened - this created an odd sexuality that I felt I needed to uncover to understand more about why I wasn't so vanilla. So it started with just writing about my early memories, where it started, how I felt - and as I did this, my kundalini started to activate and I got a lot of spiritual power from understanding myself. Sexual energy is very powerful, so the more you know where it comes from, where you come from as a person, you can literally empower yourself with this energy. Even from situations or sexualities that are out of the norm, you might end up with more power from it, because of the backlog of shame, hurt, ect - that comes up and when you let it go, it creates space for healing energy to come in. So the more I worked on this, and I did it like my life depended on it, I just wrote and wrote, the whole story, everything that I needed to understand what happened, and why I have this problem. I became less disgusted with myself, less shame, less fear, writing for myself gave me back my understanding of who I am on the inside. It helped me to see that just because something happened and it "spread" to me, that I won't be an offender - ever - and going deep within myself to accept this part of me, it helped to take the edge off. It normalized it, so there wasn't a rush. I taught myself about sexuality, like, I might take some courses on it in college to understand a bit more - that is another thing you can do, too. For pretty much every type of sexuality out there, there is a path towards personal empowerment. What I did is I explored it a bit, I bought a "toy" that was my preference, started working with a deity that is similar in energy to myself, drew some pictures, read a little bit, and it just became less of a perverse thing, when I incorporated spirituality/insight into it. I'm a very strong believer of going deep into one's self to uncover sexuality, and of the no shame rule. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, or yourself. And because it seems to be, this is all the more reason to look into it, rather than sweep it under the rug. If you do that, it will come up in various ways and it is harder to control, then just going through the process of understanding yourself. And by this, I mean every little motivation, every fear from childhood that might have come up, the whole thing. And then what I advise is once a month, to once a year, go through and read what you wrote and take note of any behavioural patterns you might see, and then look into those, it's like a rabbit hole of self discovery. I guess my question is, where/when did it start for you? Was it a trauma? What is the underlying motivation? These questions can open a can of worms, for sure. You can even start with an intent, such as "Today I am wanting to explore why I hurt myself when I engage in this behaviour, it is not increasing my self esteem and is hurting me financially. Why do I do this? Where did it come from? Why do I have a hard time stopping the behaviour? Is there any way to normalize it so that I do not get a dopamine hit when I engage in this. Why do I prefer to have women take advantage of my money? How can I make it spiritual/align with my values? My intention is to understand this side of myself, so that I may work through it and become a stronger man." The more you understand this side, the more it activates and lets loose 2nd and 3rd chakra energy - it might be a slow process, or a kundalini awakening as the flood gates open up. When the second and third chakras are aligned, you will have an easier time with all the others. You can ground yourself in a meditation practice, healthy eating and positive self talk for your first chakra. Or walking in the park barefoot, putting your feet on the ground and feeling the dirt can help. Once the second and third chakras are healed and open, and free, then your heart will awaken and that's the one you wanna keep open for spirituality, because the heart is a compass towards God and Truth. If you have been introspecting for years, the problem might be that you don't have a journal, you need to also go back to the previous years to see not only progress, but also to literally witness how your personal patterns are unfolding. Honestly, it took me a good 6 years to start seeing changes. The first year was my awakenings, the second trying to get back to them, the third and forth was information gathering, and it wasn't until the 5th and 6th year when I started to journal that I began to 'see' the difference. Before, I didn't have a grounding pattern to move from - I couldn't see how one action affected the other, until I was able to go through the entire year before. In January I did a recap of my previous year, and it set me in the right direction. I can see those patterns, I can go back and work on them, and I don't feel like I am stumbling around looking for answers inside and out on how to manage my sexuality. Instead, I just have fun with it in a safe way, I don't shame myself, and it no longer has it's hold on me like it did before. GL! If you have any questions, or if you've already done this to this degree, let me know where you're at.

Like Leo suggested, claim her the night before - or even before going to the concert.

@Javfly33 Yeah, you have to accept it to move past it and delve into why it is there, and where it came from, sexuality is the key to understanding one's self as a person, your motivations, your energy, spirituality, all of it is connected, thus why I suggest to embrace and learn to love what you are given instead of viewing it as an addiction - view it as a part of yourself that is expressing itself in a way that doesn't help you. But what is inside of what doesn't help - the understanding of it all - hard to explain - but it can give you your power back as a person. It did for me. I was nearly shot up and held hostage in a hospital for my sexual orientation because someone found out - though I don't act on it - simply me discussing myself and coming to understand myself caused that. I do understand unusual preferences better than most, I do "get it". You don't love being powerless, you just deep dive into where it came from and do some serious depth psychology as to why it is there - and if you need to, some healthier more empowering alternatives. This isn't about doing nothing, it is about getting your power back. The only way out is through. I would seriously suggest talking to your therapist about it and start diving deep into these motivations. Just be sure to surround yourself with open minded people who won't make you feel bad about yourself or put you down or inhibit your learning about yourself. What if there is a shadow so deep, that it holds all the light that a person needs within it? The whole path towards awakening can be done just by understanding one's sexuality. It should never make you feel powerless, even if you are into situations where you feel powerless, if you learn to understand why, where and your own unique makeup, you can get that back. If you have any specific questions, let me know, I am pretty into my own journey understanding what happened to me, and it gave me many awakenings, a lot of understanding of the world and an openness and caring for other people's sexualities, as mine is divergent as well, I can understand people who aren't "vanilla".

@Javfly33 Oook. If you try to run from it, you'll just create a split. It isn't about doing the action, it is about embracing who you are, where the motivations come from, how they happened, why they are there, sexuality is deep, deep stuff. If you can embrace and understand this part of yourself, love that part, it can make it whole instead of something driven on humiliation.

Don't feel shame for your sexuality, embrace this part of yourself, love it, understand it as much as possible, no shame, no humiliation. The more you learn about it, the less it has an affect on you. I have what is called a paraphilia, and in coming to understand it, and not hide from it or view it as something bad, I chose to embrace and accept it and I found power, safety, and groundedness through doing this. Maybe instead of moving away from it, but also don't use it compulsively, but moving towards it consciously, uncover every stone and leaf and see what is under there. If it is still a bad influence in your life, address it with a therapist. #sexpositiveculture

@John Paul The mods take care of it, if you see it just hit the report button. There is some disrespect here, but it is getting better with time as people over the years get to know each other. We have period here where the current atmosphere is good and everyone gets along and then moments where it seems like a lot of fighting, only for the forum to chill out again and things to go back to norm. Which is generally less disrespectful than a lot of other forums out there where it isn't moderated. But yeah it isn't the best attitude to have so if you see it, either let the person know that's what's up or just report and the mods will either talk to the person, give them a warning or both.

I'm not God realized, but have had some awakenings. From what I understand, you will reincarnate until you are able to see that you are not limited by spacetime, and then your soul/ personality will make plays to enjoy, like pulling a slingshot back and watching consciousness go, in whatever divine trajectory it chooses and the divine imperfections that happen along the way are what help God see itself through you. This will happen in the Now. Check out Jane Roberts, Law of One and Sri Aurobindo for reading on the topic.

I've had a psychotic episode before, the difference between the episode and awakening is that you don't get better - the issues don't resolve and often times, you can't think straight. Sometimes you talk to yourself or laugh uncontrollably, or cry for no reason. Beliefs are not real, or less real, there is a spectrum, and in between the episode there is some spiritual insight. The difference is the person is not clear of mind. The mind, the ego, controls everything - it is like being very scared and confused all the time and feeling like you are going to die. All your past traumas come up and beg you to work on them and you can't because you can't think straight. By following a chain of events, you could have spiritual insight as well as strange beliefs, depending on if the change in your brain chemistry produces authentic awakenings. You might feel inclined to repeat behaviour, can't get out of bed, feel depressed, or in my case, thinking people were against me to a paranoid level. I was thinking I was being followed and chased based on synchronicities that were telling me things. I got a "spit" as well, like my awareness and ego were warring with one another and I felt like I was on a divine battlefield of hatred vs. love. It clears up on meds, or meditation. Maybe meds first if the psychosis is active, and then followed up with a meditation practice.