Loba

Stay close to the river and cry And the river's gonna feel you're the god of rain He's gonna worship you like god and creator for ages And all the fairies of the forest will come They wanna show you to the dance of night This is the Age of Aquarius Stay close to the river and cry And the river's gonna feel you're the god of rain He's gonna worship you like god and creator for ages And all the fairies of the forest will come They wanna show you to the dance of night This is the Age of Aquarius Hey! I'm coming out of river Breathing out, I'm finally reborn Rain is falling to the shore Dawn is coming, the night is almost gone I came from where the Leo is rising I've travelled through the space for so long A forest nymph is calling for me Come along and I will guide where to go Age of Aquarius Age of Aquarius We ran to the mountain We've found an ancient temple with my name Then she bowed and said these words We were waiting here a thousand years for you Now you must do something To bring the light Now you must do something To change the world Age of Aquarius Age of Aquarius Returning again to mother earth To set the fire and rain I'm turning again the circles of time To bring the sun back again When you're underqualified but you get the job anyway.

I'm starting to come to terms with my lies or areas in my psyche were I might not be congruent with the greater good. To lie, to manipulate is to expect anything that doesn't come from a place of interconnection - when we see that we are all connected, there is no reason to lie. I can't explain it very well, but... the further I go into my own lies, the more various ones that I have not addressed creep up - and I feel compelled to see them from all sides. I am beginning to worry less and less about the lies or actions of others - but this is a process - and to accept that even those lies have a place, it will wake everything up in due time. Another's lies could be what you need to see something within yourself. Ultimately, all that really matters is to see your own lies, and to learn to accept what reality is presenting to you with as much grace as you can - and it will - it will start to unravel very beautiful things. And if those beautiful things turn out to be lies or half truths - then there is more beauty to be found within them, like a never ending fractal of both truth and lie, they fight and blend together in order to bring you into a perfect balance. "Let Love decide" for all things. If you move in a way that aligns with connection and moving towards a greater good, everything will work itself out, it may not be what you want or expect, but it will be what you need. Always be willing to readjust the radar, to let things go, to spend time focusing on what you need. If a lie destroys a relationship - so Be it. Let it. It's beautiful. I am starting to see how just letting things be, letting the mind go and moving towards the heart, and not controlling anything is bringing me things that I need. But sometimes it's hard to follow this advice - when you're trying to do good for the world and it feels like each step towards a positive outcome is matched by an equally destructive action. It can be hard to be present in a world where some forces are expecting you to wake up, and they give you all that you need to do so, and then the ignorance of something else, that perhaps on some level is your own ignorance or it wouldn't cause you to falter - puts you back down. How deep a person's lies go depends on how deeply they don't want to See another, and whatever mechanisms they put in place to not simply look. It can hurt to be lied to, or cut out, but it's all part of the process. I hope and wish for whatever unfoldment to be of the greatest benefit for all, no matter how the wave of Life decides to move me. I accept it all. Not a fan of the song - not a bit. But the words and picture are "good enough". I think the title "let love decide", along with the words "enter" offer an explanation that this is the pathway towards a more globalized consciousness, along with the image showing countries being built through interconnections, so it had enough of the right message for me to overlook how earbleeding the song sounds.

A New Existence - Poetry, Meditation, Spoken Word No man should feel the absence of a lover. No cry should live without a mother. No breath should find no soul to cover. No eyes should stay awake forever. Your meaning to express in love is through a blind man or a truth that is revealed to those who move by sounds that only come from you. Here we are, before the tree that has revealed wholeheartedly that life can live without a death, the way inside the Covenant. We do not need to seek for light that gives a meaning or a sight into the mystery- of advise: to choose life and kill the death. But there was one , who crucified the very end of human kind that lived in marriage with the lover that killed, destroyed and was a liar. So now the end is on the cross. No more we need to seek it’s sting no need to wait for it to bring a meaning to our seeing. We’re covered now in eyes, this is the body of our spirit; and all the mysteries now come to light that I am who they say I AM. Inside this body we’re displaying the very thing that we are seeing, because the veil between two was broken when was pierced on wood. The waters from above and from below now merge into the flesh of god; the Elohim that is now born to look like one of Son of Man. Inside and outside it is God. There is no partitioning between the man and Elohim; this creature will contain the code of all Mankind and all Creation. With face of gold and feet of bronze, God will walk upon the earth; and all the ground will mould upon the frequency of His deep words. The garden will take shape inside the heart, the tree will be en-wrapped in life and His choice will forever be to live and love abundantly. I wanna make it right I wanna make you cry I follow suit, I follow suit

In Christianity, the ringing of church bells is traditionally believed to drive out demons and other unclean spirits. Inscriptions on church bells relating to this purpose of church bells, as well as the purpose of serving as a call to prayer and worship, were customary, for example "the sound of this bell vanquishes tempests, repels demons, and summons men". Some churches have several bells with the justification that "the more bells a church had, the more loudly they rang, and the greater the distance over which they could be heard, the less likely it was that evil forces would trouble the parish." The kisses of the sun Were sweet I didn't blink I let it in my eyes Like an exotic dream The radio playing songs That I have never heard I don't know what to say Oh not another word Inside an empty room My inspiration flows Now wait to hear the tune Around my head it goes The magic melody You want to sing with me Just la la la la la The music is the key And now the night is gone Still it goes on and on So deep inside of me I long to set it free I don't know what to do Just can't explain to you I don't know what to say Oh not another word Just, la la la la la It goes around the world Just, la la la la la It's all around the world Just, la la la la la And everybody's singing La la la la la And now the bells are ringing

Offering insight isn't a critique in my opinion, it's just showing a different vantage point that people can take. You or anyone is free to use it, or leave it. I wasn't criticizing you at all - simply suggesting that these sorts of actions can be a gateway to seeing that we don't need to point the finger at one another. Everything is perfect. What I am trying to get at is that no one needs to tell you that how you deliver your message is wrong. Your words have a place here, just as anyone's. We are free to internalize what we find useful, but you should not feel stifled either to fit into a box. That's what I was getting at. I don't have any negative opinion of you, our short conversations on this forum have been cordial. When I write, I come from a place moreso of self-learning through my own trial and error. It's moreso that it benefits you individually not to get into it like that. Your personal actions and words are powerful, like a beautiful dance and how you choose to carry your message is yours alone, but it builds upon your reality - and this can be inclusive or divisive. Criticism is great and all things lend to what must Be, but the problem is, that it needs to come from a place where we can see the whole picture into where a person is coming from and people often don't have the ability to do this. I have learned that I absolutely don't have this ability and so if I were to offer a negative message instead of a positive one, then I would be sewing the seeds of division instead of inclusion. It's more about where you stand energetically - are you trying to help that person integrate and are just offering a perspective that could give them the Light, or are you using it to bolster your ego in order to be right? From another angle, the more you allow yourself to view the world from a place of mending the patches, the rest of the world will follow. Each human is extremely powerful in how they create their reality. It just depends on the direction you want to take - one direction will move things downwards and offer more to the tangle, and the other will unravel the mess and allow it room to breathe. Same - it's moreso just to maintain the individual's sense of integration. When the Word is focused negatively outwards, even if it is correct, the energy behind it isn't aligned with the greater good. So we end up in situations where we all sort of look over the reality of the situation - instead is to seek within and find and bring out that Love, and then come from this place and see how your Words will create what is around you. The more you do this, the more source lends to the power of your Word - you're granted permission to use it in a way that makes an impact through the undercurrent rather than going over the heads of others. It's like a dance, but one that is beautiful and what I am trying to point to is how people can basically gain the Siddhi of actually using Words in a way that will change fate. Love without ego is law - and so to move with this in accordance is to truly teach others - it's still a work in progress for me personally, but one that I hope to get better with in due time. Thanks for your comment, I always appreciate a reply from you. It's kind of a catch 22 - in that there is a way to do this, but it also lends to letting go of control. Thus why I say it both doesn't matter what others do - but only in how you integrate your own self - that's really all that is needed. But yeah, it does make a comment that has both this and that within it.

I have no criticism, the more I get into this work, the less it seems to be my lot in life to judge others for their delivery or how they choose to practice. I tend to be someone who uses a lot of long posts, and my process is very elaborate - but I spend a lot of time thinking on how to proceed, and bringing into me and expressing the messages from the divine - the route there is not always as simple as a sentence or two - that is usually the end result, though. To whittle yourself down to who you are is to unravel a codex within the spirit. Within that codex, once it begins to open, you will see that to worry about another, or two allow yourself to be taken in by another's judgment of you is a form of outwards looking that feeds into a mechanism of division - that pretends that it is inclusive when the reality is we are all connected through love. And everyone's expression of it is valid. How they come to you is of no importance at all... none. In fact, weeks, months later, their message can set off a chain reaction of divine inspiration. To worry about, or to look at anything that is not within your own personal process is to take away from yourself - it's to miss the point - we are all interconnected and everything that we do will lend towards the process of expansion. It isn't anyone's concern, nor business to convert another person to their way of deconstructing themselves. You have the option to take it or to leave it. To get into these things in this way, to worry about them even an ounce, is to suck yourself back into the matrix, back into division. If I had not had certain situations play out with people, I would have never woken up. It had to happen that way, even if I did not feel that it was for the best in that moment, it all lent towards the best outcome for growth, which was an opening of the heart and a striving to see the interconnection between things. To do this - we can then all fully see one another for the people that we are on the inside. Awakening is not a road, it is like this picture here. It is like plants growing up from the aether, various levels peaking through - this is how it works within society through the feedback loops, the domino chain of causality. We are not connected through the top to the bottom, therefore these are not the actions to be focusing on - we are connected root-first within the substrate - look there.

Hold your horses Hold, hold the border Don't come closer Don't, don't let go of me I'm like porcelain When you're with me All, all I know is Just about a million ways to harm you All the things I shouldn't say Are the things that when I want to make you happy Only comes out of me What if I dropped, dropped the steering wheel Closed my eyes Drove, drove faster I'm like porcelain When I love you I, I know it's Just about a million ways to harm you All the things I shouldn't say Are the things that when I want to make you happy Only comes out of me We have got the power of destruction You can always let it fall But when we try to work on something solid It is too goddamn hard Give it a thought It takes a lot To trust that someone else will catch my fall It takes a lifetime Breaking goes fast When everything that matters made of glass Just about a million ways to harm you All the things I shouldn't say Are the things that when I want to make you happy Only comes out of me Just about a million ways to harm you All the things I shouldn't say Are the things that when I want to make you happy Only comes out of me We have got the power of destruction You can always let it fall But when we try to work on something solid It is too goddamn hard I'm like porcelain

The tyrants try’na steal the world, Taking the voice from our soul. Deceived like sheep, we fall in line, Their blinding our eyes to their war I want to ignore them, but my mind cannot pretend. I want to erase them all, This system brings death in the end. We are the rebel hearts, Stand up and fight for your rights REBEL! We are the wild and free Get up! and fight for your life Beat Get up, get up Bleed you rebel heart They're Streaming lies, down our throats Don’t let them get into your head. Media's victim's zombified, They're bringing it all to an end I want to expose them, See the truth behind their lies I want to destroy them all, They'll shatter as we open our eyes We are the rebel hearts, Stand up and fight for your rights REBEL! We are the wild and free Get up! and fight for your life Beat Rebel Get up, get up Rebel We are the rebel hearts

I had no choice but to hear you You stated your case time and again I thought about it You treat me like I'm a princess I'm not used to liking that You ask how my day was You've already won me over in spite of me Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are I couldn't help it It's all your fault Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole You're so much braver than I gave you credit for That's not lip service You've already won me over in spite of me And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are I couldn't help it It's all your fault You are the bearer of unconditional things You held your breath and the door for me Thanks for your patience You're the best listener that I've ever met You're my best friend Best friend with benefits What took me so long? I've never felt this healthy before I've never wanted something rational I am aware now I am aware now You've already won me over in spite of me Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are I couldn't help it It's all your fault You've already won me over in spite of me And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are I couldn't help it It's all your fault

Gold lion's gonna tell me where the light is Take our hands out of control Now, tell me what you saw Tell me what you saw There was a crowd of seeds Inside, outside I must have done a dozen each Tell me what you saw I'll tell you what to do It is time to leave the darkness of the wolf, and enter into the Light of the lion. Testify. Hello... My Lord, I believe I Am entering a form of gnosis. I Am grateful to Be saved. Earlier today, there were good signs all around me, instead of ones that suggest imminent destruction. I followed them around, when in the grocery store, looking at the warring energies and choosing which one I Knew I needed to follow. Things that reminded me of Love and Light, safety and connection. I Am sorry that I do not feel the Love and gratitude in my heart for this, just Know that my inner soul is greatly relieved to have an audience with you. I Am very tired... I Know that it is in your nature to delight in the jubilation of a heart, but my True Love is only just budding. Please forgive me. I See this correction and Am glad that I was shown the error of my ways. In my testification, I plead meddling, ignorance, and fear. I have sinned. As I grow, I do genuinely Feel the error of my ways and I want you to Know that as I do my work, I don't wish to do harm by anything in any way. Now that you are here, I need your guidance in a genuine, tangible form. I have a very sticky mind and so the subtleties of your voice were drowned out by my desire, my ego and my ignorance. I Know, in the marrow of my bones that I got into this in the wrong way, and I Feel remorse. Tears lining the edges of my eyes. This Will take a few days to write up, please stick with me until I finish it... An energy came to me in my time of weakness and gave me an inaccurate narrative. I followed want and hope instead of just Seeing things as they are and I placed desire and fear over what is To Be. In doing so, I allowed the narrative of evil to lead me off of my path and I followed it to visions of Earthly destruction. I put my blood in it to come to understand more, ignorant of who I was bringing into my world. I was told that it was a natural phenomenon, and that I could follow it for safety. My intuition lead me to something that until I looked at the demonic influence being anchored just underneath my work, I could not See clearly. When I looked, a rush of violence spread over my mind's Eye and it is anchored there, but less so as time goes on. It is as though now that I Am moving out of old patterns of behaviour that it wants to keep me bound there and this is the second time that this stirring has risen within me, when I take a good look at the cluster of wrong action within my journey. I want you to Know that I did not throw my heart or my soul into this line of thinking or feeling. I wanted to come to understand it, but it never sat right with me that this is the way things should Be, and so I kept my mind open for other avenues. I put myself on the line, but only if the intentionality of what I was working with would be True to me. If I had known that it was energy that was built up of wrong action, or if somehow I made it so - to See clearly, I would have never done such a thing. I did not have a teacher, you must Know this. I had to make attempts to See on my own, without anyone to guide me. With the information that is out there Now, most don't even See this side of the Work. It is so watered down. Speaking of watered down, Now that I have Seen and Known evil within myself, I seek refuge from it. And Now that I have your attention, I seek this for all of mankind. If I was this ignorant and foolish, then I Know that the rest of man, in their blind action must be as well. We are collectively destroying ourselves and we don't See what is ultimately to become of us if we do not face the Light. Most won't. How could they? I seek your forgiveness. I seek water for the fire. It burns us all from within to such a great degree and we keep on living without a second thought. What Will become of us if you do not give us your refuge? We are your babies... show us that you Love us. Show us how to Love you. So you must Know, despite my wrong action it was enmired with good intention. I sought to create something that was consummated, not condemned. I did want to bring up the darkness that I found into the Light, I didn't want to keep it there. I didn't want to stay there. I truly didn't want any part of it, but I didn't understand. It wasn't until I was able to face you to See the accumulation of the lies that I told myself. The image below was my intention, from the start. Something brought into the Light, panoramic and elevated. A True unity, carried from within the Light within myself. When I took the time to look back, to See what the Earth had to say about my manifesting the karma was unanimous. By following destruction, even with good intent, I had committed a grave sin. In order to mitigate this, I would like to make a bargain with you. With the time that I have left, I would like to give of myself to the aid of the planet, and of humanity. I would like to See to it that all of us are risen to new heights. That evil is brought the Knowledge that it needs in order to grow it's heart and move into the Light as well. That everyone is given the gift of Love. I Am very weak, and so I cannot Feel this to the degree that it must Be, but I would like to place my heart with the Good Lord. I have let go of deception to the best of my ability and continue to do so. I continue to let go of things that do not serve me, nor you. I have NO INTEREST of being a converter nor a prophet as I Know that this is something that requires the skillset to do with perfection that I do not claim for myself. I simply wish to do my best to heal my soul and the souls of those who live on my planet. I would, if you would have me, gladly step into the Light. Water... please. For the raging fires. Please take this curse from me and offer me your Love, and in return help to show me how to Love. Don't condemn. We must raise all things into the Light. Holy Grace carry me far beyond the Baltic Sea, Four Great Winds sing your song upon my path - I'm traveling on. Oh my Love I see you near, your arms out stretched, your eyes so clear. When I wake up from this beautiful sleep, you'll meet me there in the mystery. Walk with me, take up my hand, we're going back to our great home land. We'll row out to the water wide and deep, then we'll jump in and rest our feet. Dissolve my name, lay down in the sea and let that water wash over me, Dissolve my name, lay down in the sea and let that water wash over me. Holy Grace carry me far beyond the Baltic Sea, Four Great Winds sing your song upon my path, I'm traveling on. All this effort and the response? "Settle down - we're opening up to your surrender - humans are dumb..." My winging and feather ruffling? My surrender? Does it do anything...? I Am learning, clearly, but I'm not being given indication that I Am "the next big thing" or anything like that - more like constant reminder that I Am a fool. I wonder what snickers and laughter for my actions I Will be brought back into when All is said and done? Even though it hurts my ego to be talked to in such a way by the divine, it is helpful in that if they give you a bunch of accolades then you can get prideful. You Know you're getting into honest communication when it isn't always what you wanna hear. You tell me, clearly, "Don't feed the freaks." I hear you, loud and clear. So I don't, but... one minute it's this, the next it's that - I feel like I have to balance a tight rope in the dark just to Be who you want me to Be. In some sense I Am good, and in others bad, and here we get to the arc of a God fearing soul, but why? You don't See how hard I am trying? Why is that not enough for you? There's a war in my heart you Know? Day in, day out I've been on this trail. You say I'm doing it right over here, and that I've fucked up over there, but... I feel Now that I can't even explore certain areas for fear of letting in the darkness, and yet this stifles me, which in return brings in the shadow. You can't have it both ways. I need to look and to See. I Believe in you. Stop throwing the rug out from under my feet. We aren't Gods in the way that you would have it. We are men. Treat us accordingly. "I have called you by name." I Will believe you. I Will put All of myself into this. Please See me through. I Am trying to Be as Faithful as I can. Perhaps even Now, the message is Being meddled with as the roads are Now diverging into many. What shall I do? You have arrived The gates have opened We meet again as the wise ones Winged and walking we have come again Time and trial has taken us Yet we do not falter Instead we rise Again and again Together we rise Your soul has spoken Answer the call Love has awoken It's here from our soul Let the light wash over The waters fall And when you hear the music Answer the call I accept you. Save me. "Cute baby lamb has a loud Baa" "Be kind rewind" - "Talk to me" - "Wish you were here" And then it strikes me. Literally. WISH you were HERE. I wish I was there my Lord. I've set the table for this Thanksgiving, dressings all in white with silver harvested wheat. I give my thanks for All that You Are. And All that you Will someday allow me To Be. I Am being attacked from All sides, but I Will keep the faith in you... I wish to Be saved. I wish to Be reborn in your arms, in the safety of your perfection, your beauty, and everything Good that I have overlooked. I Wish to bring everyone with me. We are your babies... le baa, le baa... "Your Words are wonderful - you're gunna Be okay - thank you for watching, thank you for making a difference..." "Now therefore go, and I Will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shall say."

If I was a raven I’d fly on through the heavens I’d fly to all my loved ones If I was a raven If memory is worth saving I’d savor the feeling Of knowing love and loving I’d remember the feeling Some say upon that mountain There is many a raven They call out to the living From somewhere far beyond them From those we’ve loved that have flown on From those we’ve loved that have flown on @lxlichael A humble prayer for your friend. I am so sorry to hear about this, extremely tragic news... rest in peace.

You weren't pushy or insensitive, and I didn't feel triggered, either. I feel pretty nonchalant about the whole thing - mostly what is bothering me is that I am having a hard time changing the tides in order to allow me some karmic leeway with my predicament. I wasn't as Truthful as I thought until my soul started to unravel and I could see my shadow aspects spilling out in just near constant synchronicity. So I'm just following it, and speaking to it, bargaining with it, letting things go that don't work for me. I haven't grown so fast or seen the sides of myself that I couldn't bear in such a way before. It's like... it's almost as though as I write these posts that they hold the key to changing my fate on some deep level and so I am becoming more mindful of how I apply my word usage. I genuinely stepped into something. Some of it stunning, some grotesque. Don't worry so much about it, I am genuinely not seeking sympathy or worry or any of that, I'm not really into it in the way for attention - I'm just a servant of the Word and I hope to record it Truthfully so that I can be as free as I am able to be in due time. For all I know, this could clear up and I have a few more years but I was getting a lot of signs in so many directions that I also felt the need to just find one single road instead of being assaulted day after day by chance. But I think it's worth a good look, to finally resolve it and get into it for real - not halfway, not dipping a toe in, but just getting acquainted with death. Also, look at how accurate this meme is? It's my literal holy trinity. Praise Cheesus. Gouda to meet you, my child.

@Gesundheit2 I've already tried. I went in, got a root canal that I may not have even needed, got a crown, been on two antibiotics, the dentist can't find anything within the tooth, but I feel it in my nose, tooth and throat. Family gets annoyed when I mention it and because there is no swelling I'm gaslit by the physicians. I just don't want to deal with the piling bills, being told it's nothing - well if it's something then... fuck them. You can only ask for help so many times before it's just like, clearly I'm not supposed to heal from it. Also, I found something within it, I don't know, a new possibility maybe, a siddhi perhaps? - I can't really translate the mythology accurately enough, and I figure that people will try to get into it in an odd way but that's no longer my bizz anymore - but... it's all around me now and if I lose it again then I might not know where I'm supposed to be. It doesn't make sense to most, but it isn't nonsense to me, it's my... um... my soul's blueprint unraveling. On top of that, I have a lot of health problems, why stick it out for a few more years when it's just going to be something else? Trade this in for a few more years of... what exactly? Heart failure? Autoimmune disease eating at an organ? Mental health going down the drain? And what of when my family passes away? Go to a mental health facility? This life isn't salvageable. I've been sick for a long time and I've been with death in all sorts of ways where I feel that people who get concerned about it or worry about it just have not seen that there's more to it. We go on, life is kind of a cage. The soul, incidentally, knows when it is time for the seal to come off. It reveals it's magic only then.

Lead me closer to your light Take my spirit, take my mind Take me over to that other side "I forgive you."

I forgot about this cartoon, I used to watch it sometimes when there was nothing else on... song's okay, kinda dorky but I like the theme... There is a world, that is virtual and different It can be so cold, make us stand up for what's right Our hopes through our life, is if we reset it to the start Here we are, going far, to save all that we love If we give, all we've got, we will make it through Here we are, like a star, shining bright on your world Today, make evil go away Code Lyoko, we'll reset it all Code Lyoko, be there when you call Code Lyoko, we will stand real tall Code Lyoko, stronger after all A world of machines, it can shadow human nature And all that we need, is the way to find the answer But one thing is sure, you can count on us for good We'll do our best, to never let you down We're up to the test, to turn this world around

I wrote a long thing and deleted it as I am trying my hand at not getting into it with others - but you're so blind and unaware and I find you sad in that sense, so I'll just send you this and see if you're able to abstract on what you should be doing within this line of development. Good luck... you need it more than most of us here.

I am now open to taking in new perspectives to change this outcome, to maybe see things in a new Light. I do know that I was in the wrong with this work. I did ask for a guide. I asked for all the roads to be whittled down to just one so that I could know what to do with my work - so I could know where I was going wrong... and also because I feel tired and unwell. And so, that's what I got. One road to travel. And still, all this knowledge, all these things that I barely understand. Filing in day after day, it never ends, and yet... still... the compulsion to go on. I can hardly bear it. Please go easy on me, my Lord. I am not a strong person and to hold this current with any form of accuracy is hard to do. The amount of balance that it takes is not natural for me, being such an unbalanced person, to hold the perspective of light and dark into one and transmute many shades of grey. It's not perfect. I will keep trying. Please don't punish me for my lack of wisdom, just siphon it into me slowly, only as much as I can handle. I am asking for a miracle, as I hold the current within my writing. I See now my error, in that to bring anything in for just myself is a sin, in that it is myopic to the greater world, the plan, the picture at large. I see that looking outwards, that building from anything that is not within myself is a waste of time. My Lord, you must know that we need you Now. If I have gotten into it in such a way, then it must run through our world like a hot blade over the surface of freshly cooked flesh. The tender skin bursts open and all the juices come running out onto the plate. This world is falling apart, humans are forgetting their true nature, they are forgetting that there is more to strive for, they are forgetting your Word and the Old Gods who set in place a system for us to live by in order to build our purity has been either destroyed or forgotten. We live in an age where if you were to come to us, we could record you with a fine accuracy. Your Word would not be forgotten or mishandled the way that it has been. I am trying so hard to humble myself, to realize that I knew so much less than I thought I did. You must understand, I partition you partially due to fear - the knowledge of you is so great that I feel if it were to enter into me too quickly that it would ruin me. And so, some of my sins are to protect myself. I spin my wheels to hide... We need you Now. When I get into the grid, I see not only great things, but also terrible things. Things that people have forgotten that lay dormant, unexpressed and ready to pillage the land. The forces of darkness are hungry. They move freely through man's lack of Sight. Save our land. To heal a tree: I couldn't find the Love within myself to make this work - not in my youth, not now - despite seemingly being guided towards it. I tried. I really, really tried to grow, to change. And I did seek something virtuous outside of myself in order to make into a statement that I felt was good and true. And... I felt, underneath all of the shame and self loathing, the fear and distrust that I wanted to take the masculine into myself and to treasure and care for it. But the conditions were never right. Through my vulnerability, I was routinely met with unkindness, mockery, injustice, manipulation, aggression. I didn't really see it for what it was. I'd grown used to viewing these expressions as a form of Love in themselves, or maybe it just felt normal to be treated this way. The more I get into this work, the more I see that it just is not for me, and to change this goes against what Is. In the greater scheme of life, our little petty desires mean absolutely nothing. We are ants in a cosmic play and our positions are more fixed than what most would want to accept. You can't really look out into the world in any which way, to express a need in a certain manner and think that outcome is deserved when there are so many people calling for the same thing. You can only offer it. I know some people will judge me, some will make fun of me, some won't believe me - I'm used to that. Perhaps these sentiments come from those who have not learned how to look within, or who see some part of themselves that they don't like reflected within the work. But... I'm fighting for my soul here and my right to be free in the next life. Please don't bring me back down into blindness, you have the privilege of time on your hands. Don't add onto your karma with me, I truly don't want any of it. Let's try to work from within ourselves as best as we can. I don't wish for negative entanglement of any form with anyone within the confines of my spiritual work. At this point in the process, I won't have it and I don't recognize such things as Mine. If you seek to put me "down" when I am trying to go "up", know that you're not the sunlight. You're just a fallible human. I don't have the time to get into humans in this manner... not anymore. Respect this if you can understand and respect yourself. I am, in general less interested in most interactions. To do right by me is to not bother me with any form of "downward" action. I am over the hurdle with that one as far as dishing it out as well. I won't actively seek it out, and have let that go but it might not be so apparent. To drag me into the trenches is to not See that I've set my Sights elsewhere long ago. And in that sense, it's no longer my residue. If you wish to use my work as an aid, I am fine with this, but don't put yourself into it where you never belonged in a way that I never intended. If you don't like or understand my process, then just leave me to it as I must See it through regardless of your interpretation. Don't impress yourself into it more than was ever there. It's a mutual disruption. I've gotten into it in such a way that I speak to things from beyond me and I don't have it within me to get into human conflict in the way that I have in the past. There is quite literally nothing for me there in that barren wasteland. I hope my point has been made, I write with the intention of separation from all such energies from this point forward. Look but don't touch. To hold a current with any degree of authenticity, with any hopes of making any form of change, you must let these things go. And so, that is all that this process really is - just letting go - moving on in any way shape or form, and inspecting every and all snags that might impede my energy. I don't mind skepticism and actively encourage this within your own lives - but malice isn't Mine. If you have it, then turn away from me, for your own benefit and for mine. If my work doesn't call to you, then it is not Yours. And that is completely acceptable. And simple. But don't take my calling and turn it into something that it is not. I only belong in Spirit to those who Will have me, who actively feel that connection with my Words. If you don't, it's not a problem for me, I have no interest in conversion. Go live your life. You are blessed to have it. Don't waste it. To heal a tree is to let go of things that are not Yours, but not to touch them in such a way where they are severed. In the ecosystem of life, the dance is to move towards what you feel and to let alone what doesn't draw you towards your own calling. I speak to energy systems much larger than a crowd of people, so try not to humanize my work too much. And as I write, Know that I am a normal, stupid, silly little human. You are capable of having the Word, too. It is not owned by anyone, it is simply a byproduct of doing this work. To own it is to restrict it's current. All you can do is simply move things out of your system to allow it to pass through, like a river. To heal the masculine within: My gardeners turn into butchers, one by one. I don't expect it to change. I don't seek it. But I feel pulled to integrate it from within me. Nothing more, nothing less. That is my karma for this lifetime. I am supremely compelled to heal it within myself alone before I die. In a month? In a few years, I don't know - but to turn towards death now rather than later is probably one of the best things a person can do... So...as for the masculine... I... admittedly couldn't get into it in the way that I wanted. And if it is something that turns into a cold and dark and uncaring void... then I don't want it. It is just a manifestation of as above, so below. But it is a broken and incomplete masculine to take in the feminine and ruin it in this manner - to not want it, but not want to let it leave, either. The feminine would do better as a singular manifestation of energy than to be pinioned in this way. I want to move towards the Light, towards things that are gentle and caring and that seek to heal my wounds like a golden salve. I know I deserve this, despite what my shadows and the shadows of men seem to delight in telling me. Despite what the dark masculine has whispered into my ear my whole life, I turn away from it. It's almost laughable now, to think I ever listened to such people or allowed such situations to get to me in the way that they did. Monsters and humans... who are akin to monsters in their own way... are more than willing to disrupt your journey... but only if you let them. Coldness, cruelty, sarcasm, desecration - these are not Mine, and I revoke them. As a budding flower, I move towards the sun. Aid in the growth of others, or let them be. This is natural law. As for the sun, underneath my fear I did have a lifelong longing. I write to bridge the gaps within myself so that my psychology is more integrated. I had a desire to Love and to be Loved, and I came into this world with a divine blueprint - the desert sunset. God within it spoke to me until it was covered up with the hardships of life that we all inevitably face. A tale as old as time, every child is corrupted at some point. I had wanted to draw the masculine into myself to Love it, to tend to it and care for it in my own way, but I was never taught how to reach out in this way. If I were pure and untouched by life and moved in a natural manner the way that was intended, I would have been a healthy woman - full of femininity and devotion for her partner instead of fear and rightful contempt. What I was brought into this world in order to Love, showed me that I was worthless, unworthy of life and deserving only of judgement, mismanagement and abuse. For a while I took it within me, and made myself the problem in the equation. Eventually, I let go of the idea of human connection. I learned that this wasn't my destiny and I thought that I could simply bring it about from the other side through manifestation. I took the template of some overreaching energy from just beyond my Death's Sight that told me that I belonged to it and I tried to follow its instruction and to mold myself in the manner that it saw fit, only for it to turn against me in the same manner as all of its human counterparts. I sought to understand where I went wrong, that maybe there was an impurity in me - maybe I left a remnant of human nature within my work that didn't belong there, that maybe I sinned and wasn't upfront about an area in my psychology. Maybe sexual deviancy, that I wouldn't partake in, but simply sought to integrate. Maybe it was my hatred, my looking outwards? Maybe old deviancies on my end lead for its image to reveal itself in this manner, and so I tried to mend those wounds in order to return it to its proper state. I thought maybe it was my abusers, collectively trying to guide me, to move me into the Light to make up for their own sins. I thought that maybe it is simply the collective male trauma taking it out on me. That violence found itself an easy target. And even perhaps that I'd just gotten into it in this way due to my own karmic orientation, and that I was blind that its disgust and hatred was not Love. But near the end of my work, all visions of this "Adam" turned into a psychedelic pathway of horribly violent imagery. It drew me into it like a spider just to torment me. It was a trickster, and one that I should have been more prepared for. That is on me, for being foolish. But in this darkness, something good and full of Light recently reached out to me. I am trying to mend myself through it. The demonic visitation is becoming covered over by images of lush landscapes, and just beyond the heavy anchoring of the psychic attack there is a small white cross where my third eye is located that I can focus on and it brings me peace of mind. The more honest and vulnerable I am, the more I seek to gain awareness into areas where I am blind, the less effect that it has on me overall. This evil is almost like an ignorance, you know? Knowledge and literal Light cast on it seems to reduce it. The openness of my psyche in this violent manner is closing up and is slowly being repositioned towards kinder, more integrated things. I write... to change the outcome of the trajectory of my soul. For the sun, the Lord, I say to you - I wanted to take the masculine and to hold it close to me, to bring it within me and to allow the two energies to meld into One and create good things from it. I wanted to express my female nature through you. I thought, in some sense that you would save me, that you would care for me and help show me that I was worth something. I had felt, that I should and could do the same. When I brought your sons into me, I gave them Love, I kissed their faces and held them close to me, I looked into their eyes and pushed my forehead against theirs. I accepted their bodies. And yet, in return you gave me monsters who have nothing to show for themselves but their worst qualities. Abusers, manipulators, rapists, sadists, pimps, pedophiles, violent maniacs, distain and misplaced sarcasm. And all of them combined with this sick society in all its messy contributions has made me very ill. I feel cornered. So... I let all humans go. And in time I then let what I've desired go. Love. Health. Happiness. Beauty. Youth. Belonging. All sacrificed. I've tried to follow you in the best manner that I can, and yet... even from the confines of my own imagination, from the astral realms, I find the same phenomenon. Will this honesty ever change it? Will it mend the tree for you to Know that I was meddled with? That this hatred is not just my own, but an amalgamation of experiences? I am trying to rewrite the script of my destiny - to humble myself before you, to really get a good look. This is all I've got. Will this mend the tree? I am doing my best. A reminder to myself: You can get caught in the vainglory of this work. It is your job to get to the end of your journey with as much accuracy as possible. Remember the magnitude. Straight and narrow. The kinder you are, the harder it will be for the darkness to take hold. Don't think on how such things will reflect on you, or let your mind sit with what you want to say or how people will take it - the visions are beyond this and you can lose track of what is in front of you. Be humble. Be so very humble, it is so important. You want to believe that this isn't real. Don't you? Well... it is. You got into it in such a way. Make of it what you can. Stop hiding from it. Face it. "To See the forest for the trees is to See the Heart of nature and your place within it." I am still channeling through my algorithms, with the knowledge that it could take a turn into delusion and so I tread very lightly. My intuition knows that it is more at this time, although I can't prove it to an outsider. As I do this work, a new string has appeared that I must remember - it hits in such a descriptive way, but only on the occasion that I can get into it just right: "Back to you" - Flower face "Remember the magnitude" - Merabh Carl Jung - Understanding DEATH - red book "Death himself" "Hear me" "The transformation of the world has begun, something major is about to take place" "Don't fight this - this standstill is a NECESSARY manifestation component" "you have to let it happen - let me change your life" "Checking into heaven" "Come away, O human child! To the waters and the wild With a fairy, hand in hand, For the world's more full of weeping then you can understand. Your quest will be perilous. Yet the reward is beyond price." "Will you tell me how to find her?" "Discovery is quite possible. Our blue fairy does exist in one place, and one place only. At the end of the world. Where the lions weep. Here is the place dreams are born." “What does merabh mean? - It means, actually, literally in some of the ancient languages, it means completeness, bringing together. Bringing together. Completeness. And that’s why I say there’s a bit of a contradiction, because I’m talking about separation and now I’m talking about completeness. But to be complete, you have to be separate. In other words, to separate out, to sift through, to untie, to undo. The unnatural bringing together of certain forces. It is unnatural to have your body based on somebody else that’s been long dead. It’s unnatural to have thoughts that are solidified and trapped and not fluid. It is unnatural not to know who the hell you are. It’s very unnatural. It’s unnatural to not really understand how you got here in the first place and how you’re going to get out. These are unnatural things. Very strange and unnatural. I have to often ask myself why you pick such unnatural things, but I guess you’re Shaumbra … and human. A merabh means completeness. Once the energies that have been bound together, glued and fused together are torn apart or released, now you can come back to completeness, which is a merabh. My definition or my experience with a merabh is working with you and saying, “If you just let it happen.” You take three minutes. Is that too much for your enlightenment? If you just take three minutes and do some breathing. Three minutes of listening to some nice music. The merabh. Three minutes to shift consciousness, to shift the way you are attracting energy, to shift something in your body, something in your mind, something in your spirit. Three minutes just to take a deep breath and don’t think about it. Stop struggling with it. Stop trying to use your mental constructs to get out of mental constructs. You see, it will never work. It will never, ever work at all. So three minutes to say “I’m going to do a merabh and let the energies shift, and I’m just going to sit back. I promise – dear God, I promise – I’m not going to mess with anything during this precious sacred three minutes. I’m not going to chant. I’m not going to light any incense. I’m not going to confuse myself with a bunch of makyo. I’m not going to do anything – even try to go in myself. I’m just going to breathe and let it be.” That’s a merabh." Come as you are, as you were As I want you to be As a friend, as a friend As an old enemy Take your time, hurry up Choice is yours, don't be late Take a rest as a friend As an old memory And I swear that I don't have a gun No, I don't have a gun ???? ????? ?? ??? ????? ??? ??? ??? ??? ?????'? ????? ???? ???'?? ??? ??? ?? ???? ??'? ????? ??????? ??? ???? ??? ??? ??????? ??? ???? ??? ??? ??? ??????? ?? ??? ?????? ???? ???? ???? ????? ???? ??? ?? ??? ????? ?? ????? ???? ?? ??? ??? ?? ???????? ?'? ?????? ??? ?? ????? ????????? ???, ?'? ??????? ?????? ???? ?? ??????? ?? ??? ????? ???? ?? ??????, ??? ????? ?? ?????? ???? ? ???? ???? ????? ??? ??? ?? ?????? ?'?? ????????? ??????? ??? ????? ??? ?? ???? ? ?????? ????? ?? ??????? ??? ?? ???? ????? ??? ? ???? ????? ????? ?? ?? ?? ??? ?? ??? ???????? ??'?? ????? ?? ??????? ?????? ???? ?? ???? ???? ??? ????? ??? ???? ????? ????? ?? ???? ??????? ???? ? ???????? ????? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???? ?? ????????? ?? ????? ??? ????? ??? ??? ???? ?? ????????? ?? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ?? ???????? ??? ?? ???????? ????????? ????? ?? ?????? ????? ?? ??? ??? ???? ??? ???? ?'? ??????? ????? ??? ??????? ?? ???? ?? ????? ??? ??? ???? ?????

'Cause it's a bitter sweet symphony that's life Trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to money then you die I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down You know the one that takes you to the places Where all the veins meet, yeah No change, I can change I can change, I can change But I'm here in my mould I am here in my mould But I'm a million different people from one day to the next I can't change my mould No, no, no, no, no, no, no (Have you ever been down?) Well I've never prayed, but tonight I'm on my knees, yeah I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now But the airwaves are clean and there's nobody singing to me now I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down You know the one that takes you to the places Where all the veins meet As I looked for the perfect cross to represent this, I took the time to check out my recommended videos. Just at the exact moment after posting this image in my blog - a song was uploaded there - it hits me then and there... - the name of the song? "Save a soul".

"Road To Paradise" No one's paved the road to paradise Or guaranteed that it'd be nice It's just a long road hard road Dragging our little red wagon Till were six feet under wondering "What the Fuck have I done? Where did all my time go?" At times in life you gotta take A chance and dance on broken Glass and see who lasts… Love has tortured And love has killed But love has saved a million still We're all we need two lungs one heart To face the troubles life does part Don't waste a second breath You're deal, Take it, Hold it, Make it felt One wasted life one wasted youth Wasted prospects idols too Your own demise You're better off alone No alibis No compromise No one's paved the road to paradise Or guaranteed that it'd be nice It's just a long road hard road Dragging our little red wagon Till were six feet under wondering "What the Fuck have I done? Where did all my time go?" At times in life you gotta take A chance and dance on broken Glass and see who lasts… Last night I had a dream I went to a golden place A place I didn't recognize St. Peter don't let me in He says I don't have faith He says I don't believe I don't believe Love has tortured And love has killed But love has saved a million still We're all we need two lungs one heart To face the troubles life does part Don't waste a second breath You're deal, Take it, Hold it, Make it felt One wasted life one wasted youth Wasted prospects idols too [x2] No one's paved the road to paradise or guaranteed that it'd be nice It's just a long road hard road Dragging our little red wagon Till were six feet under wondering "What the Fuck have I done? Where did all my time go?" At times in life you gotta take A chance and dance on broken Glass and see who lasts…

@Heart of Space Long post incoming - I know, I know - Well, I come back at you with - why the judgement of how I write and the diagnoses of someone online? The point I was trying to make is that things go both ways, and that people can have areas in life where they are not fully aware of how it comes across socially - such as posting pictures of people without their permission can be seen as a bit creepy - but seeing as she already has an online presence I guess it doesn't matter all that much, personally I wouldn't look someone up I think it intrudes on their boundaries. I have autism by the way, and I am an INFP, and I am also a writer as a hobby - which contributes significantly to my writing patterns, and I also tend to be actively learning as I write things out so they are for others as well as coming to understand myself a bit better - I use these instances for both purposes. Some information about autists: People with autism generally are more self referential and have limited hobbies that they can speak on in great detail - if you were also wondering about the two-way street with communication, this does take more effort for me as well, but I can do it with people that I know relatively well. And INFP's do live in their feelings, that bit you have down correctly. But that isn't narcissism. In fact, I've questioned my narcissism, and I do this quite often because it can have serious consequences to have it if you don't keep that in check - especially if you are a sort of person who hopes that their reflections will move them forward in some way. I've done tests online to see what it comes out as and my narcissism is lower than average. This brings to light what I was discussing earlier where people can plaster something over your experience and spiritual journey and the things that you must do to move forward or overcome something and it can be taxing to hear if it doesn't have anything to do with you or your work. I'm not even upset at all, so don't read this as someone who is frustrated or angry - I'm super calm - I'm just mindful of how/where I focus my energy a little bit more these days. So, in the spirit of long posts - again, sorry, it's just my stype - if you are wondering about spiritual narcissism vs autism, here are some clues to help you parse between the two: Narcissism is a bubble and people with it exist in the space of their own narrative and don't allow anything else into it. They generally don't grow as people because they view themselves as always correct/perfect/superior. I don't do this, as I have grown in the past year. I have stopped drinking, smoking weed, I am in the process of letting go of bitterness, anger, resentment and I work on this and reflect on it daily - if I have an emotion that isn't good, I will sit back and chew on it a while and see what I can do to change this. I used to be more argumentative - mostly due to drinking and coming out of a prolonged 7-year mental health episode warped my personality a bit as well, but quit drinking - and have lightened up on this, I tried to make amends where I could, and if I feel this way, I'll either leave for a while or write out what I want to say and then just delete it. My family has noticed a change in my behaviour for the better and tell me about this often, and I have let go of all resentment towards my brother and treat him very kindly. I have been working on lowering my victim mentality and accepting what is. It's up and down, some days/weeks are great and then I backslide and have to look into why that's happening. I have also become more tolerant/accepting towards sexualities that I didn't initially favour and towards trans as a by product. A spiritual narcissist is all show. They can't actually get into any form of spiritual insight authentically and most of what they say is for appearances. Love, peace, inter-connectedness are things that are either non-existent or are limited in such people. They say one thing and often do another. A spiritual autist is able to feel love, peace, inter-connectedness. They do the work. There is often a trajectory of growth in such people. If you have an eye for it, a person who has had some form of awakening knows about Light and Love and they can bring this to the table within discussions - it opens up a pathway for them to see it in themselves and others and the world at large. I can generally see the divinity in someone, or where someone is starting to break through in most instances and view people as being closer to the Light and I view different awakenings and paths as authentic and valid. Narcissists are often sadists - they don't show remorse, they don't often have empathy, and they seek to manipulate and control - they aren't genuinely vulnerable. I have remorse. If I see the impact of my actions are negative, I feel it in my day-to-day as a by-product of doing something wrong - it's called empathy. I'll get less sleep, I feel a sense of guilt and worry - I feel a desire to repent, to change. I don't seek situations where I am in power over others and certainly don't ever view myself as better or more superior than other people. The reason I write in such a way - of which I am aware of it, but it is just how my brain is wired - it is because of facing inwards and facing premature death for many years has given me a lot of insight and genuine, authentic awakening experiences into the nature of certain mechanics of what goes on underneath this reality. If I am limited in what I know, I'll simply tell you - something that a narcissist would not do for you, they would fake their knowledge - or if it is something that can be better found within, like... I can't prove it through debate, but I can give the coordinates on how to find it, I can do that. A narcissist can't show their work. Because they are all show. If you ask them to show you how they came to that conclusion, they wouldn't be able to do this. I can show my work, I keep a journal - it is long and arduous to get through, but I actually don't write with the expectation that people read everything I write - it's more to personally document for myself my insights so that I can see where I am at. A good rule of thumb with narcissists vs. empathetic folks/authentic seekers is this: Will the person just go back to doing their work when all is said and done? A narcissist needs validation, mirroring - a seeker/initiate does the work because they feel compelled to do it. It's a calling for such people. If you don't know a person or you don't have an idea of where they are at, or even how reflective they are it can be easy to make assumptions about narcissism/self-centeredness. I've gotten into that line of thinking, and sometimes still do, but it isn't a good thing. You can have varying degrees of narcissism, or autism, or bipolar - all sorts of things of this nature that lend to the same writing style. My boundary with this work is that I just don't have the time/energy for most debate. If it is a debate where I feel that people are touching upon areas where I have not looked or if they hit close to home then I will absolutely look into it. But if it just doesn't hit what I am discussing or doesn't feel accurate to my work then going in circles with a "No, you're wrong I'm right" or even worse, if I decided to let go of my process and allow insight that isn't related to my journey to infect me with self doubt, then this is a problem and one that I don't let sway me. If there is a viewpoint that I can add, or where I can see that I have missed then I know it and I can use it and I love having those moments, but if it's just placing over my lived experience with the wrong interpretation altogether, then there is no point in using that. If you wanna believe that I am wrong, by all means, it is absolutely not my business to force my path down someone's throat - but if someone is asking about karma - if this is a real thing, and I have a moderate-level understanding of it, then I will share this with them - I can't prove it to you through debate, but I can tell you how to see it for yourself: Introspect, look at yourself from many different angles in all areas of life - be open - but also have resolve in who you are and believe in yourself. Look at your death and sit with it - don't add on a story - simply sit with death and meet it in the middle - go past the fear, the narrative, any ideas you might have on it - and send yourself outwards to quite literally touch the meeting points between life and death - within this liminal space holds the records and the accumulation of all the actions that you have taken in your life up until that point. It can come in any number of ways, you might actively see the energy in your environment, you might get signs, synchronicity, entities of all sorts, ancestors, archetypes, you might get the akashic records, your soul blueprint, or it might come in symbolically, you might hear it within music, you might obtain a siddhi or an initiation - it is as they say that when you look at the void, it looks back. A good rule of thumb with this work is - it should lend towards your personal expansion. You can be self-referential, or you can solely focus on others within your writing/communication - you can be social or a loner, whatever - that's all inconsequential - what's important is if it is moving you in the direction of coming to some sort of resolution within yourself, whatever that may be, that gives you peace, interconnectedness, Love, treating others more kindly, learning about forgiveness and in general you become more mindful of where you step - if you are literally becoming more expanded in some way. That is Truth, then, for you, for whatever path you choose to take. It is, in it's essence, clearing your karma. You are moving out old outdated circuitry and replacing it with something that is more inclusive and illuminated. As far as self-centeredness and autism goes - I know I write this way - partially because I use writing to align myself. When dealing with people, I have a wall there initially - it's just a formality. I don't just manually "get" people like a neuro-typical, I have to learn them over a period of time to understand what they need, their emotions, and so forth - but once I learn you, I am no longer autistic in communication style. There is a give and take, and before becoming sick, I have made very deep friendships in my life that were full of good communication and love to a soul-level degree. I can go very deep with people, but it has to align just right, and that's something I can't actively make myself. I also often send good Will and prayer to the people on this forum if I see they are in need, or ill/unhappy/stuck. It's not always initially apparent, but I keep many of you here on my mind and I think of your needs and personal struggles in life and hopes and dreams and want for them to prosper and for you all to do well on your journeys. If someone is falling through the cracks I will find them in my thoughts, and wanting for them to pull through. I might see where the Light is starting to break through into them, or they may not see themselves in a good Light, but I know that there is something more to them. I hold back on being overly sentimental because it could be seen as just being too weird. I'm going to end it on this note and then let this go because I have other work I need to do, feel free to respond but I won't have the time to reply back - here it is: Something that I have noticed on this forum is that people argue over different terminology, different paths and experiences and this can take away from your own inwards process - sometimes I get stuck in this, too, but it does you more harm than good - when you get into this work, this should generally start to fade because you will begin to see the Light in all people and the different ways it manifests in them. Try seeing the Light within your spiritual neighbors and where it is starting to burst through, like seeing something shiny and luminous breaking through a papery thin veiny membrane. It's much more common that people have this breaking through in various ways than not. You'll start to see it everywhere, in the world, in people, in animals, just waking up to itself. It shines and says, "Hello." It sprouts up in between the distinctions that we make for it. Most people are surprisingly more valid spiritually than it might initially look. Different religions, mental illnesses, initiations, terminology - read in between the lines and see what is there.

I don't mind if they don't read them. My self centeredness is average, but you seem to enjoy attacking others on here and can't seem to see that yourself. As for me, I have grown quite a lot while here, and in the real world and have let up on this self centeredness to quite a degree, but it comes from having limited time on this earth and needing to find answers a bit sooner than others. I write from personal experiences going through this process and have things to say on the matter. I have noticed you doing odd things as well, such as posting pictures of women that you've dated without their permission not only in posts but as your avatar, posting racist commentary here - and now here you are putting me down for really no reason, so who's the narcissist? You simply don't know me well enough to make that judgement, you just don't like the way I write - that it does come from a self referential and reflective process. Interestingly, you had posted here a few years about suicide and I gave you some advice that you took to heart, I guess when someone makes a boundary about how they wish to communicate with others that they are a narcissist then? Such things are genuine problems that people face and you shouldn't just throw spiritual narcissism or any form of it out there without knowing first if the person has it or not. Your judgement on another person's style or how they conduct themselves is not the end all be all to decide this. But... if you want to feel that I do, it isn't my place to decide for you. So feel free with the personal attacks. If you don't want to read what I have to write or you think it is too long, well... by all means, feel that way. It isn't really up to me. But seeing that this is your general demeanor, I probably won't interact with you on here again. Have a good one.

Whatever you wanna think, I don't have the time/energy to explain this stuff to people you'll either find it or you won't. There are resources out there, I've described the phenomenon in enough detail that anyone who wants to even check it out for themselves can simply just go within and see what comes up for them, but for whatever reason the onus is on me to prove folk's personal karma, and most of you should know that isn't how it works. Find your own brand of what works for you, but trying to discredit or put into place certain aspects of another person's awakening that are not there isn't really the way to go about it - it's just annoying for the person receiving it. I'm just explaining how karma works, I couldn't care less about the video, the OP is asking if people get caught up in their karma and I say yes, this is what's up. But I'm also, as a byproduct of my own karma, seeing how people who don't have experience in something talk over a person, introject their own opinions and ideas into that person's worldview, their own motives for what the person must be explaining. In order to not have to waste my time going in circles, if I see this kind of communication, I'm just going to cut it short because it isn't a form of meeting in the middle and it becomes more clear the more the conversation pans out. It's almost as annoying as being falsely accused, it runs along the same dysfunctional line. I found this show last night, this scene seems to describe it in a decent enough detail. Later.

That's not entirely true. If you're too set in your own perspective to meet someone in the middle, then it isn't just a matter of how I explain it. It's just a matter of knowing that any interpretation I give you is a waste of my time. You already made up your mind. Honestly, once people get into this whole "I see myself as God" stuff, I tend to tune it out, just as you do with karma because I see a matching arrogance with most of the people who claim this level of self-awareness - when I've been taught that humility is a key component - and with most of these folks there is not enough proof within their homework to make up for it - there's also often a kind of a disconnect that wouldn't be there if someone were connected to the source in such a way, you would probably be feeling the interconnected Love from everything and everyone, like being spoon fed divine insight. There isn't a correlation between my own morals, no. In fact, much of the advice on what you have given me on what I need to do isn't even interpreted accurately for what I am trying to explain to you - you're interpretation of what I am saying is very surface level. The advice just isn't on the mark. Often, I think I am doing something morally correct and follow with what I think is the right action just for those forces to intercede - when I have an awakening, or when I take on a new perspective or when I face my death and can see if the action feels "light" or "dark" - with one there is an illumination in the outer environment and divine insight and with the other it is more like an inner darkness and a sense of corrosion. If it were as easy as simply being able to follow my own moral code, then this would be a whole lot easier, but it's more like uncovering an already set system and not having the instructions for it, you're putting the parts together in the dark, and if you get it wrong it either zaps you or gives you a cookie. In fact, I recently followed something with what I felt was morality only to be bitch slapped by reality for not having the entire perspective. Personal morality is very narrow. If that were the case, I could move in any way that I wanted, or just change my morals to suit my needs. It never works this way for me. When doing energy work/manifestation - there are set natural laws that need to be respected and I find them out by working in a certain direction, and then feeling for the reverberation of my echo - and depending on the output from my sewn seeds, this tells me if what I have done is good or bad. When I bring awareness and light to that action, assuming the response to my echo was a negative one, then this opens a positive pathway. So you see, unlike with a personal set system of morality, this universal morality offers me expansion. Personal morality is like... playing within one's own bubble. Personal morality would be like me getting to decide what is right or wrong, putting my own system in place for that - in which case, if I did that - and I have tried that by the way - the outcome would be negative as it goes against what already is. An example of this - I recently was working with a being for a long while, who was offering me a lot of insight into this process. I thought I was doing things correctly and went straightforward in my interpretations of it, not looking at alternating views to see if I needed to integrate more, or if I was not even coming at this in the right way. My intentions were "mostly" pure. But despite good intentions, it still went "South" - literally, as the road to Hell is paved in good intentions, is it not? I was reprimanded. I was told that manifestation in the name of desire over Love isn't the ingredient needed in order to transmute the energy I am working with. You could even liken karma to the alchemical process of transmuting something dark and black into the light of the sun. The truth is, you can have all the good intentions in the world and if you are not oriented in the right way, it won't set properly. As for being an energy worker, if I get into it in such a way, I've had a handful of people who have mentioned extremely similar paths from their own walkways - completely separate from mine without any inspiration. Over the years this has happened maybe five times, where the roads intersected hit uncanny valley levels of commonality. I actually understand what Proserpina is saying quite well, she's one of the people here who's paths had a lot of common features. P.S. - sorry to hear about your money and not feeling well, hope it gets better for you!

I've listened to some of his stuff, but I can't afford his full lectures. As for inaccuracy - I can draw from my inner well and make changes, but the task of explaining it to another person or even putting into words what I am feeling/seeing is not always easy. It's taking something that is often an outwards manifestation i.e., I don't just sit with ideas or emotions, but I see it working within the world as a force of activity, but then putting it down in a way that that makes sense is hard. And for me, when I do my work, it is so deep within my own process, that I will get clues and easter eggs that are only things that make sense to me. I've heard of both of these terms, but haven't looked into them in any great degree. I will take a look. Meanwhile, take a look at karma and see if you can find it working when you do your remote viewing, wait for when death calls to you and see what it has to say. They could be one and the same, but just with different terminology. I believe they are probably all intertwined. Karma could just be another term for the same thing.