Loba

Im tired, Tired of the same things, Tired of the scene, Tired of the machine, To tired to belive, Tired being tied to a dream going on repeat, and Im tired of the shaming, Tired complaining, Im tired, Tired of the routine, Still I got no energy to change how I feel. I´ve been doing this most of my life, Most of my time, always on my mind, Doing it for kicks and to stay alive, Get it right, 9 to 9. And everybody knows I got it, The passion and the ghost I got it, The need to make it more I got it, But you will never know and Im sorry. Everybody wants to get even, So I keep one open while sleeping, This world was always eat or be eaten, Im sleepless. Im tired Ive been staying up most every night, Pushing life up a hill, And always when I think its on the rise, Sliding down standing still. The vision and the flow Im on it, The things you need the most Im on it, Im getting really close I promise, But you will never know and Im sorry, Everybody wants to get even, So I keep one open while sleeping, This world was always eat or be eaten, Im sleepless. Im tired Day four of nearly no rest.

You don't know what you talk about It's all lies that come out your mouth 'Cause I wake up This is my body, this is my war We can't wait 'til you come around Say what you're gonna say I don't care anyway You don't know about me You don't know how hard I try You don't know about me Why the hell should you decide? You don't know about everything going on inside You don't know about me You don't know about me You know I don't care what you think I get high, don't say anything 'Cause I wake up This is my body, this is my war Can't we try to change everything? Say what you're gonna say I don't care anyway In such moments when people seek to tear you down, remember your Good qualities; the things about you that you love and that give you Life. There are many facets to every person. Not just one thing. A good way to view this is like with this picture above. Each time a situation or person or negative feeling tries to cover over your Light and other facets, bring your awareness back to self Love, acceptance and See into the things that are valuable. From personal experience, as well as having gone through such things, when a person seeks to put into you negative traits it is always going to fall short of what the actual situation is. Judgement is never the whole Truth. It's like putting the final touch on an unfinished story. If this woman can't do her job properly, then that isn't your fault. It is her job to be empathetic towards her patients (of which she is also being paid) and to listen to the full story without suppositions, and from there offer some suggestions or support. This sounds like more than just incompetency, a psychologist should never Be allowed to work this way with anyone. No matter what she says about you, the problem still rests with the fact that this is a supposedly educated woman who is being given the opportunity to heal people and is failing. Countertransference This is a phenomenon within the therapeutic setting called counter-transference. It is their job to remain neutral, or at least to work towards that.

"The Light in the eyes of others, they guide you on your way." True empathy for another being is the only way to see it... or yourself... with any degree of accuracy. Every issue we have ever faced on the planet comes from the root: Humans not seeing the true nature of another thing. There is so much information to be gleaned from looking at living things with the lens of empathy, in such a way where it becomes an experience in its own right. You don't just See the thing anymore, you See through it and that soul that is within begins to breathe into your own. To not use this superpower is a handicap, but so common that people forget this.

Won't you be my dictionary Won't you translate fun Into something necessary Inter uni sun Won't you be my dictionary Can't I be very necessary Inter uni fun Comes back Satellites they mix you up And hypnotize you with the sound Reproducing would fuck you up And make you forget what you found Won't you be my dictionary Can't I be very necessary Inter uni fun Comes back

Oh yes, jealousy and bitterness, these have been some of my biggest hurdles in life as well. Also some of the most pleasant to work through as it provides a big payoff to go through it consciously. I understand how this feels - I won't go into my story, but I experienced the same thing, even when young, many times in life granting me the opportunity to work through this emotion. The thing with jealously and bitterness is that it is a form of greed, it's a form of thinking that your needs are not being met by something outside of yourself and it takes away from not only the reality of the moment but dulls the blessings that life has offered a person and makes them think that the outcome they were given was not the best one for their growth. I'm months away from being 35 by the way, and a woman who has a much shorter biological clock than a male, so I do understand the root of these feelings quite well. But let me tell you something that might ease the blow on aging. First off, it is inevitable. All those young people in ten to twenty years will be in your situation. They are never going to escape the same fate, this is something that we all go through together, just at different points in history. People younger than you can't help being born younger than you, they just were. So don't hate on them. They're here at this point in time just like you were twenty years ago, and back then it was someone else who was upset about the same thing. Our bodies are not designed to last forever, we are designed to live, to gain as much wisdom as we can and to shed this body. Things on the "other side" or even just beyond the land of the ego are much more pleasant and fruitful than keeping a young, healthy body. Don't get me wrong, these things are great to have, but it's not the end all be all. There's more. The "Universe/God/insert-personal-terminology-here" will put situations like this in front of you as lessons to move past, to help you grow yourself. Each time you feel this way, don't even get upset about it, just use it as a learning process to go within and find out how to view the situation from a more panoramic lens. For instance, what if in an alternate universe you got a girl when you were young? Well, she would be the same age as you now anyways. What if you married her, had a kid and you didn't want a family with this person? What if you loved them deeply, but they died? What if you guys hated one another or she set you back in life? What if those young people you are jealous of are going through struggles in life much worse than yours, but you can't see that because you covet their youth? What if the situation you have in life right now is actually the best timeline? But you don't know this? Maybe all other options that could have happened would have been worse? You would still be the age you are now, that won't change, but the outcome of life is a roll of the dice in most instances, or at least seemingly so from the perspective that we must live. Or look at people worse off than you doing the best they can. Women in countries where they are given no freedom on who to marry, sent off at the age of nine for some creep because their family can't afford to keep them? Or being sex trafficked for years, or used as a slave, or living in a country where there is no food, or one that is being ravaged by death and war? And they can't leave? They see their friends and family being killed every day? Life is a gift, even if it seemingly isn't perfect from your perspective, there are situations that could be much more brutal and harder to overcome. This isn't to make light of your struggles, it's just to show you that worrying about inevitabilities like aging is a losing battle for anyone. On top of that, the human soul is fresh, immortal, free, with the playful spirit of a child and given the rights to imagine whatever it desires. Life is simply a training ground to learn how to do this effectively. These little things like bitterness and jealousy are not problems, they are perfectly crafted tests and blessings sent by the Universe to get you ready to let go of things so that you can become a creator that makes Good things. Work through each of these emotions as if they are a puzzle to be inspected, get to the root of them and you will see the real you begin to shine through little by little. Another thing - the problem with jealousy is that it is crafty. From my experience, before I began to see it for what it was, it made me think that my negative emotions were accurate, and I would seek to put the other person down in my mind, sometimes out loud in order to not have to feel the dissonance that came with not having "thing". They call it the green-eyed monster for a reason, because it makes people act like self-obsessed and selfish monsters. Think back on when people were jealous of you. Think on how they never really had the full story into your life, your struggles, your character as a man - and how they essentially whittled down the entirety of your humanity into "You have thing, I want thing, too. I will act damaging towards you." And remember how destructive it looked and felt to be in that position? I am sure everyone has gone through this at least once. I want to let you in on a secret that most people don't know, something that people get backwards in life: Your soul is forever, it doesn't age, and how it looks and how much it can create is predicated upon how much it can give to others and to work through the various barriers that life presents. People get this backwards. They think they need to hold onto these things, or sometimes it just happens as an automatic response but this isn't the case. When you feel this way, the Universe is showing you were you can soften yourself. When you return "home" after this life, what you make in the spirit of interconnectedness, and of good will "paints" your future face. People here get it all wrong. They think that outside beauty or youth is the most important thing - it's not, it's how well you Love. That Love will paint you like a fine artist in ways you might not yet know, but it's true.

I feel so out of order My brain is hazy The shadows in the corner They make me crazy All my ghosts came back to life Every whisper, every lie Itʼs a restless emptiness I canʼt deny Iʼm anxious... I'm anxious... I can't deny I'm anxious... Why are good intentions Always interrupted? Clouded intuitions No way can I trust it Toss and turning in the night When you got a troubled mind In the darkness, I confess I canʼt deny Iʼm anxious... I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord And I've been waiting for this moment, for all my life, oh lord Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord, oh lord Well, if you told me you were drowning I would not lend a hand I've seen your face before my friend But I don't know if you know who I am Well, I was there and I saw what you did I saw it with my own two eyes So you can wipe off that grin, I know where you've been It's all been a pack of lies And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord Well I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh lord I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord Well I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh lord, oh lord Well I remember, I remember don't worry How could I ever forget It's the first time, the last time we ever met But I know the reason why you keep this silence up No you don't fool me The hurt doesn't show, but the pain still grows It's no stranger to you and me Paradox of pacifism.

I don't want to write on these things too often because they throw me off my game, but I wanted to get this out there just once, to posit some different viewpoints and also offer some perspective on this issue. A lot of people disagree on what Truth is, as there are many ways to come about Truth. The anatomy of your psychology is complex and unique and so it's expression will be personally tailored to you. The Truth is not some thing that you can generally follow another person or guide to find, you as the individual have your own personal codex. Whatever method that feels right should work. Need to inquire? Do so. Want to meditate? Go for it. Have the desire to learn the history of something to gain a greater understanding? World's your oyster. Truth comes up like flowers growing in soil, with various layers that peek out in different ways and you'll see it in the environment, in art, in people, in music, in life... there is no rigid process or set in stone method. These things should open up within you as you allow them to. Like gateways. And only you have the key to it and no one else can do it for you. There are so many expressions of Truth, legitimate paths, initiations, paranormal experiences, religious currents of antiquity that you can ride like a wave, natural law. When people follow their intuition on this, they can unlock "perks", manifestation, siddhis, initiations and whatnot. You see, to be a conscious creator, you have to learn how to do it within the realm of not infringing on others, deciding for them their lives, and following dishonest currents of dis-ease or anger/fear. The Truth isn't something you really can argue about or decide for another person or anything like that. People that debate these things are already missing out on key laws in the nature of the game - like those who reach for the top but don't build upon all the lower levels. It's like viewing a body as a whole rather than with all it's little components. The moment you start arguing for your Truth, beyond just sharing your viewpoint you kind of lose it. It then becomes an "outside-in" way of relating rather than an "inside-out" process. This is normalized here and a lot of people fall into it, but it's not as beneficial as perhaps viewing different sources has having portions of the puzzle. Once you experience the Truth once, generally you can parse this stuff out with some practice, it begins to work with you and through you in different manners. To find Truth, in my lived experience - you have to meet it in the middle from the path you've chosen for yourself and at some point everything will just drop, and you might be left with your main numero uno fear to contend with. If you move through it, sit with it without labeling or narrating or thinking, and allow peace, appreciation, gratitude and perhaps an awareness of the life force running through you - it's sort of like extending a hand towards God, in which this source energy will then be able to do the same for you. These debates, discussions, distractions just add more crust over all of it. "Wipe on, wipe off, essentially." I've found that you can use religion if you do it authentically. You invite it to teach you personally, let it run through you and it will clear you out and give you a perspective and gifts that you didn't know you could obtain. Instead of just doing it on your own, you are working with literal age old masters. Say, you want to manifest something and you keep creating a Frankenstein monster in your process, well the rules of religion can allow a person to clear out the unhelpful energy that is creating a disruptive reality. It can give you the structure you need to create something for yourself, for other people and to do it in a way that does not infringe on anything - a good rule of thumb - give away much more than you get. The moment you get a promise of something, don't hold onto it, let it go, and immediately begin to work on pooling goodwill into the environment. Almost like patching up holes in what you see around you. "As above, so below." Don't worry about other people's interpretations, just go within and open it up, clear it out and see what you get. Generally it will be something you don't expect, out of left field and more often than not pretty sweet! It all comes down to you, comes down to you Down, down, down, it all comes down What is it that you seek? In your mind, you must be it Shine your light when you see it Like the flame at the top of your head And to your mind, a light will find its way from heaven But once you find it, can't unwind it with your head on So listen to your heart and be the beat you're beating 'Cause nothing ever changes 'til it changes when you be it The one, the one, the one, the one You are the one It all comes down to you It all comes down Heaven in the sky to the Earth below Anywhere that you go It all comes down to you It all comes down Heaven in your eye from the Earth below Anywhere that you go It's down, down, down to you Is it you? Is it me? What is God for a heathen? What's the God you believe in? Is it fame? Is it– (money, money, money, money, money, money) One cannot live on bread alone and you can feel it Something inside you pulling you into the feeling So listen to your heart and be the beat you're beating 'Cause nothing ever changes till it changes when you be it You are the one

Remains lay smoking Crawling little by little I can hardly breathe Unprotected exposed to the numbing conditions I feel no pain Falling in the snow, dazed and confused, paralyzed with fear, huddled Together for warmth in the Trees, where are the lights, where is help, only the silence oh oh Help me Still the sky was empty Freezing fog descended, And the snow began to fall Silence was an enemy, more hated than the cold So we whispered stories to help us forget Then out of the sky, came the lights, two tiny lights, I wanted to kiss The Earth and the stars, no Cruel mirage, a distant visage, the silence had broken Out of the sky, came the lights, out of the night out of the fear, Came the strength, strength to live Out of the sky, came the lights, lights of life out of the fear, Came the strength, strength to live Out of the sky, came the lights, lights of life "It was my birthday, the day they found me now I am one week old My life from this Moment begins again" Out of the sky came the lights, out of the night out of the fear Came the strength, strength to live, Live to love out of the sky, came the lights, lights of life out Of the fear, came the strength, Strength to live, live to love, strength to live, live to love out Of the sky, came the lights, lights of Life out of the the fear, came the strength, strength to live Out of the sky came the lights, lights Of life out of the fear , came the strength, strength to live Out of the sky, came the lights, lights Of life Have a Happy New year everyone from the PNW. This is an artist from the 90's and I always have felt a special connection to this song, it's one of my favorites and one that I've been finding myself revisiting a lot lately, hope you all enjoy it. I feel as though it has it's place in New Years as the lyrics touch upon the symbolism of rebirth.

Tuleloits (AKA The Invocation of Fire) - "is a sacred song in ancient Estonian witchcraft, sung to bring about anything the practitioner wishes, to worship or to thank deities and nature" and the song is supposed to ask "the fire spirits to harness their power of warming one's soul and cleansing outdated energies." Little spark, little spark Rise from the ashes, the right one Little spark, little spark Rise from the ashes, the right one Grow with my power Open with my heart Grow with my power Open with my heart Lift higher Shine further Lift higher Shine further Burst to the edge of the sky Radiate to the edge of the world Burst to the edge of the sky Radiate to the edge of the world Destroy my pain bodies Light up my shadows Destroy my pain bodies Light up my shadows Dry these little eyes Burn these thoughts of worry Dry these little eyes Burn these thoughts of worry Cleanse what has been Release what is yet to come Cleanse what has been Release what is yet to come Make me new And give me your force Make me new And give me your force Blazing light into the darkness Gold shine into the blackness Blazing light into the darkness Gold shine into the blackness Light into very mind Warmth into every soul Light into very mind Warmth into every soul And so mote it be A New Year starts soon - clearing out the old, brining in the New. intention - inner balance that spreads like wildfire.

It was me on that road But you couldn't see me Too many lights out, but nowhere near here It was me on that road Still you couldn't see me And then flash lights and explosions Road's end getting nearer We cover distance, but not together I am the storm and I am the wonder And the flashlights, nightmares And sudden explosions I don't know what more to ask for I was given just one wish It's about you and the sun A morning run The story of my maker What I have and what I ache for I've got a golden ear I cut and I spear But what else is there? Road's end getting nearer We cover distance still not together If I am the storm, if I am the wonder Will I have flashlights, nightmares And sudden explosions? There's no room where I can go and You've got secrets, too I don't know what more to ask for I was given just one wish A pale white girl rests in a forest and sometimes a sunlit field just at the edge of my manifestation visions as of late - who is she? Me? A guide? She showed up when I let go of all of my old work and began to design a "wish" to bring balance and research into the problems the planet faces to come to know what I am up against pertaining to all forms of dysfunction. Strange how it all transmogrifies the moment you shed Light on it, building from any which way you move. I would Be such a thing if I could, illuminated like living marble.

Vegetarian diet. Vegan in the next couple of years, but I'm working my way up to it. Spiritual experience along with confirmation has given me the message that violating the rights of other things goes against God's design. Free will and respect for things is very important and the meat industry causes a lot of global destruction and suffering to beings who don't deserve it, who have the intelligence and emotional range equal or more than a dog or cat. Morning self care routine. I was doing okay until I got sicker in late August and let go completely, but this is not a good habit to continue, so... daily morning showers, brush hair, teeth and floss 2x daily. Keep room organized. Same problem as above. A clean space is a healthy space. Continue to work on anger/judgement/letting go. This has been going really well, but it's a long process to change completely, I will keep up with it. Start a morning and night prayer routine to bless others. Work on improving empathy/global awareness/being conscious of other's suffering. Keep attempting to open the Heart center and maintaining Faith. Don't argue about spiritual beliefs or ideas or get into debates on this forum/don't overshare problems unless there is some sort of incoming resolution for it or the advice could be beneficial to another person/no self pity Try to lead by example, but don't have expectations for others - let everyone else be and do what they wanna and don't interfere. Keep building on my wishies.

My only love Do I ever wonder More than words can say Heaven knows it's hard Enough to pray Let me tell you something There is a change in me We've been out, you're gone You'll always be My only love Does it seem so funny? For the fool to pray Do know the meaning? Of goodbye As your wind goes through me We are all in a dream And you need to know Even when they leave My only love

Hello, I might have some information on this topic but it goes against much of what is taught on this forum. Most of the people here are young and healthy and have not faced death genuinely as a standalone without the use of drugs, which is... not really the same thing. I've had an autoimmune disease that started in my late twenties and heart issues in my mid-twenties, and have had close calls three times with the autoimmune disease and many moments of sitting through a weak or erratic heartbeat. I used to think that there was no consequence for suicide as well, that all things were taken into account, but that isn't what I found. Feeling frustrated for the condition of my mind/body I decided to let a nasal infection run its course and allowed it to fester for about a month without treatment after trying two times to fix the issue - I thought it could be a way out while still having the time to back out if I needed to. I thought I could get my mental and emotional state ready for this process, that I would have a choice in this matter and God would simply follow suit with what I decided. That wasn't remotely the case. My mind began to pseudo-hallucinate violent and demonic images that rested as an underlay and started to bleed out into the outside world through allegory and metaphor, synchronicity and things like this. It was... my karma. The actions I took on others, that others took on me, and things passed down from generation to generation and I caught it literally red-handed essentially "feeding" on my life, creating rumination, depression and things that went against Life itself. You see, God has a plan in place for each Life, even if it is a hard one, nature is quite brutal in that you need to accomplish what you came here to do regardless of how you feel about it. I would say the only time it would be okay to commit suicide is if you are in severe pain from illness and almost dead, severely disabled to the point of not having any life and are at the end of your rope. But if you have options, or the disease/life is hard, but something where you have many roads instead of just one converging one, then you need to explore those avenues. Life is set up where it wants and expects you to be an ally to its growth. You are here to develop yourself in whatever way you can - if you can't do it through a well set up life, then do it through emotional maturity and spiritual merit, there are many ways that Life will assist in this. If you don't, and you allow Death energy to take the reins, it will, but it won't be how you want it. You won't come to the end of your life knowing and feeling that you did all that you could, you will come to the end of it having let your weakness take control of your life, having desecrated the miracle that is you. Suicide is a desecration of your soul's journey. What I found through this process was that I needed to remove this shadow, this individual and collective darkness from my system. I learned there are three modes - the lower, which is heavy and this is darkness and evil, the middle which is our world, and the higher levels which is enlightenment, heavenly realms and so forth. You are expected to play your part, you can't cut yourself out of the net until destiny decides for you. Each human is a blessing, a jewel in the net and cutting into the net damages and unravels it. What I suggest for suicidal people is to take on Faith and allow a higher power to work through them. Religion can provide comfort in these moments. Religion is not just some words in a book that people have mistaken, these are real, genuine currents of spiritual antiquity that are ready and there for souls who have lost their way, to get them on track, to clean them off, to act as an ally during the hard times. You can do it alone if you are strong, but if you are not you do have the option of working with an entire pantheon of material and holy energy that is designed to elevate you and protect you. Suicide then becomes not necessary. One is then bestowed knowledge and gifts that mean more than Death. When I decided to make the doctor's appointment to get my antibiotics - I got into the car with my family, and saw signs - many churches - a truck that said - "Turning over a new leaf." A car who's license plate - I don't fully remember but had the word hope in it - the music we listened to was a guiding force, one of the songs being called "divine mercy" - I found an old fortune cookie in my purse on the way there, "You have been bestowed with the wisdom of the ages" and when I got to the doctor's office - the heart monitor had a saying on it: "Thank you for your service." Life itself, as you wake up, speaks to you, to guide you towards something more - much more incredible than most people understand, until you take it by the hand as it asks, but can't insist and tell yourself that you will indeed walk with it. Hope that helps! P.S. - I don't expect anyone to take on my Faith, but to find what works for yourselves. If you are in a time of weakness and need support spiritually, this can be a fantastic way to find strength - but by no means would I or could I say that my way is best, ultimately, it's up to you to choose what works, just try not to choose Death - see if there are other solutions available first.

Baby, please try to forgive me Stay here don't put out the glow Hold me now don't bother If every minute it makes me weaker You can save me from the man that I've become, oh yeah Looking back on the things I've done I was trying to be someone I played my part, kept you in the dark Now let me show you the shape of my heart Sadness is beautiful, loneliness that's tragical So help me I can't win this war, oh no Touch me now, don't bother If every second it makes me weaker You can save me from the man I've become Looking back on the things I've done I was trying to be someone (trying) I played my part, kept you in the dark (in the dark) Now let me show you the shape of my heart I'm here with my confession Got nothing to hide no more I don't know where to start But to show you the shape of my heart I'm lookin' back on things I've done I never wanna play the same old part I'll keep you in the dark (keep you in the dark) Now let me show you the shape of my heart Looking back on the things I've done I was trying to be someone (trying to be someone) I played my part, kept you in the dark Now let me show you the shape of my heart (now let me show you the shape of my heart) Looking back on the things I've done I was trying to be someone I played my part, kept you in the dark Now let me show you the shape of Show you the shape of my heart (I prefer slowed reverb - BSB sound like men, now.) ;P

Show me the meaning of being lonely So many words for the broken heart It's hard to see in a crimson love So hard to breathe Walk with me, and maybe Nights of light so soon become Wild and free I could feel the sun Your every wish will be done They tell me Show me the meaning of being lonely Is this the feeling I need to walk with? Tell me why I can't be there where you are There's something missing in my heart Life goes on as it never ends Eyes of stone observe the trends They never say forever gaze, if only Guilty roads to an endless love (endless love) There's no control Are you with me now? Your every wish will be done They tell me There's nowhere to run I have no place to go Surrender my heart, body, and soul How can it be You're asking me To feel the things you never show You are missing in my heart Tell me why can't I be there where you are? "You are nourishing..."

That's enough, the end Comes undone Falls off the edge, falls out young Falls off the edge, falls off love As dark comes the night Before sunlight That's enough, the end Comes undone Falls off the edge, falls out young Falls off the edge, falls off love As dark comes the night Before sunlight As winter takes me now, of cold and clammy skin A barren empty womb, as I am born again It's pulling at my hair, and crawling all within A gentle beating heart is swept away by sin That's enough, the end Comes undone Falls off the edge, falls out young Falls off the edge, falls off love As dark comes the night We all die young The monster in your head, won't surface again Be still my child, wash away the sin And I as future king, walk off the edge Hold me by my name, hold me till the end Hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas, enjoy the spirit of the season!

I know that you're going Wish I knew where to I'd follow right behind you I'd follow in your footsteps Your shadow over me Like a curtain dressed in navy blue You know all of these stars that we once wished upon Could merely be memories Oh, but all of these moments I still call upon When I don't feel anything Oh, when I crumble to dust on the ground And life makes us stumble and turn life around I wish I had a way to tell you But time only tells the true fairytales I know what you're doing Wish I could do it too In shadows I would find you I'd make the darkness tremble I'd make the light believe In nothing else but you and me

Waiting for Smith sat in a studio meditating for 8 hours throughout the day, while out on a nearby street passers-by were asked the question: What is it that you would like to heal? They were then invited to write their answers on his body. The idea was that a non-judgmental and still presence would present the perfect canvas to be written on, and by being listened to and heard these volunteers were able to let go of what they didn’t need. "Heal" I wear my scars on my sleeve I’m trying my best just to be, but The world has painted on me Emotions If we all die once? I heard that we get what we need If we all died once? Then be kind, be kind, be kind and be calm Be kind, be kind, be kind and be gone The world will catch you like a ball, And I will be here if you fall So don’t you worry about it all We will heal , we will heal I know that you can go so far You’re born of light like every star So don’t you worry bout your past We will heal, we will heal We will heal I wear my scars so you see I’ve found my strength in devotion So send your love back to me Across the ocean The time it takes to rhyme with ourselves, is long now But pain worn on your sleeve Will make you, much stronger We will heal, we will heal "What is it that you want to heal?" I want... to heal my Heart from the disease of hatred, fear and anger. I want to Feel the spirit of Life within All things, interconnected to the Earth - to have it All walk with me, instruct me, guide me. I want to Be clean and clear in the Heart and the Mind, so that I can manifest a miracle for the world - so that everyone can Be free from the nature of destruction, so that we can become who we are supposed to Be unhindered. I want to carry this promise within my cleaned off soul - a chain reaction of All things Good. I want to return to a garden... my garden... when I die... and... I want to Feel beautiful, inside and out. I want to meet the One, that soul that I long to Know and have yet to meet - somewhere out there, waiting for me. I want for everyone who has ever harmed me, everyone that I have ever harmed to be saved. Purified. I want for the world to change in a way that reflects the inner human Spirit painted outwards - All manner of allegory and metaphor risen from the human Heart, the collective, to remind us each day of your Grace. I want to bring God into the nature of All things, for humans to move with the plan of Life like the dancers that we are. If you could heal the infection in my nose... if that's not too much. It won't heal and I don't Know why... I want to live as long as what is intended so that I can return Home and have done some Good to raise the vibration of this world. I don't want evil to win. I don't want evil to run through my Heart and Soul. I want to be unchained, unbound from the influence of darkness. I want to be a cheerleader for the evolution of Life itself - for the planet to view me as an ally. I want to give back through prayer and intention, and I need clear Sight and a pure Mind and Heart to do this in the proper order... I want to feel appreciation and gratitude for everything that I have been given. I hope this isn't too much to ask. Amen. "When shadows call remember my face, remember the Light deep inside."

Molten bloody earth A focused open wound All highways lead right here Ghost Storms and heavy air Riots in the street I'll take you somewhere safe Ghost Will we feel the same Caught between the sheets Time is time again Ghost Just show me your world Will we feel the same Dancing around my head Glowing stems of death Time is time again Ghost Anodyne you hurt like heaven Physical comfort drift away Anodyne you move like heaven Physical comfort drift away Anodyne distortion has brought us back together Operation Overlife guide us away I find Bukowski to be a writer who must have flirted with the Gods themselves... it's as though the God of writing bestowed him with the wisdom of the ages. And as for such things... to really do any good is to See it within yourself first and foremost. So much of it within the heart of a single man, that to See it in the world is to simply step into a hall of infinite mirrors. "The genius of the crowd" There is enough treachery, hatred violence absurdity in the average Human being to supply any given army on any given day And the best at murder are those who preach against it And the best at hate are those who preach love And the best at war finally are those who preach peace Those who preach god, need god Those who preach peace do not have peace Those who preach peace do not have love Beware the preachers Beware the knowers Beware those who are always reading books Beware those who either detest poverty Or are proud of it Beware those quick to praise For they need praise in return Beware those who are quick to censor They are afraid of what they do not know Beware those who seek constant crowds for They are nothing alone Beware the average man the average woman Beware their love, their love is average Seeks average But there is genius in their hatred There is enough genius in their hatred to kill you To kill anybody Not wanting solitude Not understanding solitude They will attempt to destroy anything That differs from their own Not being able to create art They will not understand art They will consider their failure as creators Only as a failure of the world Not being able to love fully They will believe your love incomplete And then they will hate you And their hatred will be perfect Like a shining diamond Like a knife Like a mountain Like a tiger Like hemlock Their finest art

When you walk away You don't hear me say, "Please, oh baby, don't go." Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight It's hard to let it go You're giving me too many things Lately, you're all I need. You smiled at me and said, "Don't get me wrong, I love you, But does that mean I have to meet your father?" When we are older you'll understand What I meant when I said, "No, I don't think life is quite that simple." When you walk away You don't hear me say, "Please, oh baby, don't go." Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight It's hard to let it go So simple and clean The daily things (like this and that and what is what) That keep us all busy are confusing me That's when you came to me and said, "Wish I could prove I love you, But does that mean I have to walk on water?" When we are older you'll understand It's enough when I say so And maybe some things are that simple When you walk away You don't hear me say, "Please, oh baby, don't go." Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight It's hard to let it go Hold me Whatever lies beyond this morning Is a little later on Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all Nothing's like before When you walk away You don't hear me say, "Please, oh baby, don't go." Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight It's hard to let it go Hold me Whatever lies beyond this morning Is a little later on Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all Nothing's like before Mercury, Quicksilver and Messenger Service In ancient times, the wing-footed Roman god Mercury zipped around, carrying lofty messages from one god to another. Mercury flew so quickly, in fact, that the Romans named the fastest-moving planet for him. The Romans gave Mercury's name to a silvery metal that moved almost as fast as he did: "argentum vivum," literally "living silver," now known as "quicksilver" or, in cold climates where the plunging mercury requires warm clothing, "long-john silver." Mercury also entered our language in a more indirect way. Mercury's Greek name was "Hermes," and the Greeks identified Hermes with Thoth, the Egyptian god of wisdom. Forever contemplating the nature of the prima materia, God's messenger. Intention: neutralize destructive chain reactions. Not a fan of these kind of movies, but the music is good to bring something to fruition, the nature of the narrative lends well to let go of the tackiness. Meh.

Cold night, strange dreams Memory stuck like glue Her face, her voice Sail across the seas with you Can you hear all the angels? When you feel like you're out there on your own Know there is someone watching over you When out at sea, feels love can let go Oh sailor, we will blow the wind right But if you die out there, tearing you into two I hope you know that you could sail right on I hope you know you got the ocean blue No sound worse than silence A curse that grows Big words kept in Whispers of dreams untold Just don't fight all the angels When you feel like you're out there on your own Know there is someone watching over you When out at sea, feels love can let go Oh sailor, we will blow the wind right But if you die out there, tearing you into two I hope you know that you could sail right on I hope you know you got the ocean blue When you feel like you're out there on your own Know there is someone watching over you When out at sea, feels love can let go Oh sailor, we will blow the wind right But if you die out there, tearing you into two I hope you know that you could sail right on I hope you know you got the ocean blue When you feel like you're out there on your own Know there is someone watching over you When out at sea, feels love can let go Oh sailor, we will blow the wind right But if you die out there, breaking you into two I hope you know that you could sail right on I hope you know you got the ocean blue

I've delt with demons, and am currently clearing a few of them as I raise my consciousness. Demons can be hard to spot initially, as it was for me, but one thing they don't offer is Love - and Leo mentions that he experienced a profound Love when meeting with this Being. A demon will offer you some knowledge, maybe come across as a helper initially, but over time they will feed on your energy, your insecurities in order to keep you from progressing spiritually. They feel more like having a cloud of "blackness" or a lack of Light as opposed to God, which illuminates the environment. A demon is the antithesis of Love, they are void of this - like with most negative beings, they skip past this and go over it into "wisdom" - or some remain sort of inert like animals almost. They will actually manifest in your environment/dreams/they can become one with objects in the house/they bring to a human disease and bad luck. Doesn't sound to me like she knows what a demon is. If you have them attached to you, as you begin to raise your spiritual levels, this can create a situation where you can change the outcome for a lot of people for the better, and they don't want this so they do what they can to keep people down. A lot of people have them or are influenced by them, but don't know it because they are not sensitive enough to feel them, or they have not actually literally looked to see the beings that dwell within the back of the mind - these things feed on anything that creates disconnection and hatred. We are their food. I've met with that "main" bad energy that she talks about because I found the key to life giving divine water for the world and seek to create this from my body and these beings can't create, they can only destroy, so they try to dismantle my manifesting, they attack me where I feel inflamed in the body when having certain insights about their nature, I've had the power go off in my home when wanting to show a picture of one only to have the power go back on right when I deleted it - it's like having an overlay of psychedelic/moving horror imagery. Do not recommend. The "main" one - it feels nameless to me, like... it is the blackest of black voids that sucks you through it - there is no Love there. No room for merging - only It. That's not what Leo describes at all. The thing she thinks she speaks of is an eater, a cannibal that will taste everything first before eventually gnawing off its own body. This thing is like a bug in the programming of reality. These two videos lend to a more accurate assessment of this "beast."

When it's 2022 but you go to a party dressed as blackface, anyways. Notes: God will prepare a table before you in the presence of your enemies. So that means God will not only make your wrongs right but he will bless you in front of your enemies. God could promote you anywhere, but he will give you honor, recognition, favor in front of the people that tried to pull you down. That person that's lying about you tried to keep you from rising higher, but don't worry about it. One day, they'll see you rejoicing. It's not going to be just you, there's going to be some onlookers, those who have tried to push you down, they're watching you get promoted, watching you accomplish your dreams. All these people that come against us to get us upset, people who talk gossip, spreading rumours, not giving you respect, those are all distractions. That's the enemy trying to lure us, to get us bent out of shape, to waste valuable time and energy on something that doesn't even matter. Don't give them the time of day, that's not a battle that you're supposed to fight. Stay on the high road, and God will bring it under your feet. He will make those enemies your footstool. Let them judge and misunderstand and gossip about you. Their opinions are not your problems, just stay calm. Stay committed to Love and freedom in authenticity. No matter what you do or say, you don't doubt your worth or the beauty of your Truth. Just keep shining like you always do. Let them say what they want - focus on your goal, not on their taunts. Keep going, so no matter how bad things are right now, no matter how stuck you feel or how many days you cry, days you spend wishing things were different, no matter how hopeless and depressed you feel, you won't feel this way forever. Keep going. Not everybody will be able to appreciate the good in you, some people are too used to arguing and drama to value that simplicity of a good thing. So refuse to be offended. When people ignore or are mean or rude to you, they're simply showing themselves, they're telling you what's within themselves and not what's within you. Don't waste words on people who deserve your silence, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all. The Bible tells us that God will make your enemies your footstool because God will prepare a table before you in the presence of your enemies. Sometimes you need God given enemies to elevate you to the next level of your calling. The Lord said unto my Lord, sit down at my right hand until I make thine enemies thy footstool - the Lord shall send the rod of thy strength out of Zion. Rule thou in the midst of thine enemies. Whenever you're heavy laden with worries or cares, weighed down by the yoke of the law or in the midst of any enemy that is weighing you down, go to Jesus and you will find rest in him. God has promised that he will deal with your enemies. Sing, O barren, you who have not borne! Breath forth into singing and cry aloud. You who have not laboured with child. For more are the children of the desolate than the children of that married woman. Enlarge the place of your tent and let them stretch out the curtains of your dwellings - do not spare - lengthen your cords - and strengthen your stakes. For you shall expand to the right and to the left and your descendants will inherit the nations and make the desolate cities inhabited. Do not fear for you will not be ashamed - neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame. For you will forget the shame of your youth and will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore. For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name, and your redeemer is the Holy one is Israel: He is called the god of the whole Earth. Jesus has defeated the enemies and God is telling the barren woman to rejoice. This barren woman is someone who has not seen results, this is someone who has not seen signs of health in her body or signs of abundance in her situation. Imagine what people say about her? Her in-laws, friends, and even her family. But God is saying here, sing now and prepare for your blessing. Enlarge your tent and prepare for your growth. Do not spare, expand your territory and your descendants will inherit the nations. Keep the right perspective. I will look down in triumph on all of my enemies, not some of my enemies but all of my enemies. You may be facing situations that don't feel like they are under your feet yet, we are walking by Faith and not by sight. You are more than a conqueror. Greater is he that's in you, than he that comes against you. God has all the power, and if God be fore you, who dare be against you? Change your perspective. You are not weak. You are full of power. The same spirit that raised Christ from the dead lives on the inside of you. The first place we lose victory is in our own thinking. If you look at a situation in the natural in how people discourage you, and look down on you, and let these thoughts get to you then you won't succeed. Quit telling yourself it is too much, that you can't handle it. No. The greatest force in the universe is breathing in your direction and if you want God to make your enemy your footstool, you have to be still and know that he is God. When you're living upset and trying to force things to happen, let you do it on your own, it takes Faith to say, "God I know you are fighting my battles, I know you make my wrongs right - you promised it will work out for my good so I am going to keep my joy and stay in peace." God can vindicate you better than you can vindicate yourself. if you will let God do it his way it will be bigger, sweeter, more rewarding, more honoring. God can take the very people who are trying to push you down, the people that are trying to make you look bad, he can use them to promote you. And when you are tempted to worry, to get upset, just imagine yourself leaning back in a comfortable chair putting your feet up and resting on top of them - you are saying God, it's under my feet now, I know you're in control. And when you're in peace, it's a position of power. And when you are at rest, God's fighting your battles. So therefore whatever you are facing, it is under your feet. It's not permanent. It's temporary. The power that is in you is greater than any power that comes against you, so keep the right perspective. You and God are a majority. "Rain on Me" Livin' in a world where no one's innocent Oh, but at least we try, mmh Gotta live my truth, not keep it bottled in So I don't lose my mind, baby, yeah I can feel it on my skin (It's coming down on me) Teardrops on my face (Water like misery) Let it wash away my sins (It's coming down on me) Let it wash away, yeah Hands up to the sky I'll be your galaxy I'm about to fly Rain on me, tsunami Hands up to the sky I'll be your galaxy I'm about to fly Rain on me