Loba

TBH, the look in his eyes in the gun photo looks kind of eerie. He looks really, really out of it. I don't like the idea of someone being high as a kite on drugs and messing around with weapons, not a good combo. The pics and blog videos also seem very random, like there isn't much that is coherent about them. Even when I was manic and sick, my posts still had coherency to them. I wonder what's going on in his mind? I guess we'll have to wait and find out. Please take care of yourself Leo, we care about you.

Leo's always been a bit weird, this doesn't really shock me. Poor Smokey, though. I had a cat that loved me very much, too and when I got sick I neglected her and she got a disease and had to be put down, so I get it. Life happens. We do the best we can. Ice cream looks good, cheers.

@Someone here I don't believe the nomenclature touted on this forum for the most part, I had my awakenings independently from this forum and prefer to follow them over what Leo talks about. That fact of the matter is, when someone dies prematurely, the people around them suffer for it. Haven't you ever had a person close to you die? You didn't go with them, you're still here.

I feel the same way. When I got sick, I lost my looks and my health. I'm fine with letting the looks go, if I could just feel normal again and it makes motivation and changing things in my life more difficult. I've also spent some time thinking about the ways I could leave this reality, and to see if maybe there is something better for me on the other side. Something more reflective of who I feel on the inside that I can't express in this world. What I learned is that this life is like a training ground. We are building ourselves up and we have to take what we're given and do the best we can. If you exit your life, you would hurt those who are close to you for something as unimportant in the grand scheme of things as vanity. I understand health concerns, but why worry about looks when souls are beautiful, perfect expressions? Try to learn as much as you can in this world, heal as much as you are able to, and when you are ready to leave this world in an authentic way, you'll be in a better place, you'll have accomplished what you came here to do, and I believe that the universe rewards its creations for pushing through and doing the best they can. I think that we are given human lives full of limitation and decay so that when we return to where we come from, we can appreciate what we have.

I relate to feelings of paranoia, there was a time when I let it take control of my life. I would think people were thinking bad things about me and talking about me behind my back and I felt bullied and ostracized. What helped me the most was starting a journal and writing about these experiences to see them in a clearer light. Just putting awareness on where you are feeling paranoid can help you unravel why it is happening. I am sorry you are going through this, it can be a very painful and miserable thing to go through, but don't lose hope!

I used to believe that kind of shit, too and it landed me in a bad spot. I quit it altogether. The synchronicity, the thinking I had special spiritual abilities, entities, the whole thing and my mental health improved. If I were in your shoes, I would let it go for a few months just to see how that goes. I had a bunch of stuff line up for me in really weird ways, where I also thought I had some sort of curse or something but no, I was just batshit crazy. Gl.

Sometimes I think I want a relationship, too, but then I remember how hard it was to be in one. You can't guarantee that the person you fall for is going to be good to you, or that it will even last. You might end up alone anyways. Relationships are often a shot in the dark, you can become connected to someone who doesn't value you, who doesn't have your best interests at heart. I was in an on again off again relationship for about 9 or so years, most of my 20's and it was very stressful, emotionally taxing and personally I would rather be alone forever then ever have go to through that again. Be careful what you wish for. Sometimes the sweetest thing in the world is being free, instead of being tied down to someone's emotional and physical needs. A relationship, on paper, sounds nice, but people can be really awful to one another, especially the closer they get to each other. It's hard to hide your flaws and save face in a relationship, everything comes to the surface. Imo, risking my peace of mind for dealing with someone else's nonsense will never be worth it. On top of that, when we die we all connect with our soul family anyways, we become unified and in tandem. We're never alone, even if it may feel that way while here on earth, the separation is a lie. Try being happy just being with yourself and don't worry so much about these things. Being alone is quite a blessing, don't let the lack of another human being cause you to suffer, it isn't fair to you. As a woman, I can tell you, we aren't all we're cracked up to be, and the love of another human is ultimately inadequate compared to the love of God. What will you do if you find what you're looking for and you're still lonely, still suffering?

Oh no, I am so sorry to hear that happened to you. Maybe you didn't have one because you didn't die yet? I've also fainted and fallen on my head and I just blacked out, there was no NDE. My NDE was just a peak around the curtain it wasn't a full on NDE. I have an autoimmune disease and when it first started that's when it hit the worst. My hands, feet, lips and tongue would turn blue during flare ups and I think it probably affected my brain as well. When it was hitting me the hardest, I went through the fear of death by just accepting it and allowing whatever emotions I had about the process to wash over me and that's when I was able to experience the other side. It left a lot of questions though, and very few answers. I think that physical death is real, but that the soul leaves the body and goes back to where it came from, where that is I don't know. I feel as though we keep going on in our evolution, that we are here on earth just to become more aware of ourselves. But it's hard to know, I won't hold anything as an absolute truth until I actually die. I feel the same way, I'm kind of losing my mind wishing I had more answers than questions.

I watch a lot of NDE reports and have had some personal experiences of semi crossing over. From my understanding, your soul leaves the body through the top of your head and you go to a dark waiting room where you will either be greeted by someone or you will go alone through a tunnel to get back to the light. You will then unify with it and have a life review, which is where you see all the events that lead up to where you are now playing out all at once. This process isn't linear, you learn about your life in the blink of an eye. From there you will meet other beings, aliens, angels, religious figures, family members, etc. and then the sky is the limit on the types of experiences you'll have. Some people go back to earth and get to witness different places in time, some go to a school-like setting and get to see how souls progress on their journey, some go to really beautiful natural landscape type places and get to float around. Some people become orbs of light and they get 360 degree vision, some take on the form of when they were younger. From my experiences, it felt like I was just a bubble surrounded in a safe place with other bubbles that were my family, we were like a cluster floating within reality and I felt loved and accepted, and they were witnessing my life playing out as I was living it. When I die, I imagine that I will go back to wherever this cluster of bubbles is, but I don't know how it's all going to play out or what it will look like or how I will experience it.

I have this feeling chronically all day every day. I've had experiences of the other side and it felt much more unified and loving than it does here and I have a longing for that sense of love and wholeness that isn't obtainable in this world as the person that I am now. What stops me is that I have family members who would probably blame themselves, and they did cause many of my complications later in life to be quite honest, but I can't stand the idea of them having to find my body and live the rest of their lives in pain because of what I had done. I know that there is karma to be worked out on the other side, and I don't want to add to my karma by making other people miserable and then having to wait around for them to die to explain to them the pain that I was in. I also have some pets that would be confused and sad if I just disappeared one day. I've experienced what felt like my family on the other side before and although I don't remember them and don't know who they are, I miss them quite a lot and wish to get back to a place where imagination and fun and love are the predominant moving forces. So I spend my days contemplating, working through the fear and building on my death so that when the time comes it is something to be celebrated. I have a partner on the other side, I have a "pack" of other souls and wish to celebrate another level of existence with all of them. I feel frustrated with myself for having mental, emotional and physical problems and I don't have the adaptation or the energy to change. I think there is hope, but that hope lies in death. I think it will be a sweet, somewhat sadomasochistic release of a lot of pent up pain and confusion. I think there will be a sense of knowing and growth and ability that we don't have here in this world. But I also think that part of the process of this life is living it to the end, even if it's hard and even if you don't want to. I think that suicide could ruin the surprise, like opening a birthday present too early. But who knows. If consciousness has a plan for everything and is aware of the comings and goings of everything, then why would suicide be a surprise? Should it not be included in the experiences we set out to have? I don't know. What I do know is that we have a purpose while we are here, that our souls are meant to grow in awareness and that this world aids in the process of that. I just hope that when all is said and done, that I don't have to come back here ever again. I want to be wrapped up, warm, safe, loved, whole, capable, complete, genuine, free and fully spirited with powers greater than myself. Death will either be a wonderful experience, or nothing at all. But yeah, I do think about it a lot, I just can't do it because I know that the ramifications of my actions will create something that I don't want for myself or other people. I might do it after my parents pass away, and if God is good then my disease will just kill me sooner rather than later and I won't have to worry about any of this, I can just go. Like a free get out of class card. I wish the world was fun, loving, safe, connected and peaceful but it's not and it takes people away from who they really are. I've lost my spark. My desire to progress in any meaningful way and one day blends into the next. There has to be something better for everyone on the other side. I have a strong faith in this.

I relate to much of what you wrote and I hope you find peace and happiness. I am also a deeply traumatized individual and there are days where I too feel demented and incapable of changing my circumstance and I allowed spiritual insight to be tainted with delusion, but you must know it's not your fault - life is hard and things can happen. *big hugs*

I have a mental illness. I saw that part and thought it was harsh, but I stay away from people for the most part anyways in order to avoid drama, so I was just thinking to myself, "Already got you covered." And I kind of don't really give a crap about what Leo says or does in his life, I like his videos but as far as stuff like this goes it's just background noise. People have a right to choose who they want to hang around and if he doesn't feel comfortable around mentally ill people, it's not the end of the world. Whatever. To be fair, I don't like arrogant people and probably wouldn't chill with Leo so it goes both ways.

Weed, coffee, having time to myself, tasty food, caring for my pets, sleeping a lot, studying spiritual things - just the basic stuff that losers like me enjoy.

Organize my room, write a goodbye letter, pray, spend time with my pets.

@Blackhawk I'm asexual so I don't care about being desired, in fact, I tend not to like it very much. I'd be okay with just being healthy, feeling comfortable in my body and not worrying about the day to day.

At least you're healthy. I don't care that I'm not hot, I wish I could have been just healthy and normal - there's no point in living if you're diseased and miserable. Enjoy your health. That's all that matters.

@JoeVolcano Truth, thanks Joe.

I get it and relate, but the thought of death is too much, too. There's no guarantee it's all going to be okay, so all we have is life. What if the other side is worse? Or maybe there is nothing at all? That this is all you get, just some crummy life and then zilch?

Wow, this thread... so this forum is okay with the threat of abuse of power if they don't conform to another person's views, without even being given the option of discourse on the matter and that's just perfectly okay? That anyone who disagrees is "just against me" and there's no wiggle room? See, that's messed up, because we all have our problems with life and things to overcome and we can't just bring our personal struggles into the equation and try to shove them down other people's throats because we "feel bad". That's not acceptable, and I expect better from this moderation team. If you can't put your personal struggles aside to view things from an objective standpoint, then you shouldn't be in a position of power over anyone. That is abusive.

Eat breads, greasy food and drink a lot of water.

I guess I have a few questions and some beef - I guess I feel like, to a large degree, it is appropriation of another person's life experiences/gender. You "feel" you were born a woman but didn't actually have to live it. What if I said, in modern America as a white woman - I "felt" black and therefore everyone should call me black and refer to me as black, and if everyone who disagreed was racist? Everything that women have been through, that we go through... It's not the same, and then just to decide to change your gender... well... if gender is a construct, why are you choosing who I am, to then become? Why not an entirely new thing, the world is your oyster? And when you see the representation, much of the time it is a botched representation... still... of what a MAN thinks it is to be a woman. That is, at least, when representing trans, what much of the media represents. Still, even becoming a woman, it is a man's definition. That's legit how I feel, it's just not the same. There needs to be a third representation for all of this for genders who don't have the actual experience of growing up that gender. It's a kick in the face otherwise, for a gender that has had a hard time with representation, equal rights, accurate understanding and, and then you just have to be all okay with it and if you say "I don't want a dude in the restroom with me" you're a bigot, like WTF? Like, any weirdo can put on a wig and use a woman's restroom now. I think this is less of a gender problem and more of an issue where people don't feel seen. Male and female is imprinted into our very DNA, into spirituality, it is a part of how life flows and to just throw that away and confuse all of it for a 1 in a, what, like genuinely, not transtrender, but truthfully, 100,000 - this isn't progress - this is societal confusion misrepresented.