Noahsteelers34

@Federico del pueblo I think you are right, for the most part, my fear is irrational and mostly just an excuse not to do the work. Most people are in their own little world listening to music. Alot of my fear stems from doing the 100 Hi's exercise. On the one hand, it is extremely powerful and getting you extroverted, and when the hi's go well you seem like a cool guy, the problem is more in the first 15-20 when the hi's such and are kinda weird. If I'm saying hi to 100 people per day then overtime I will for sure be recognized. If I really think about it though, its not like they have any idea what I'm doing, the worst that will happen is I will be the guy who says Hi to everyone. If someone questions me I can just say "I just love saying Hi to people. The other thing I do is stop around 20 people per day and ask some type of question to become comfortable approaching. I was always affraid of stopping the same person twice but really the worst that will happen is they question me which isn't that bad. The other thing is im only gonna be at pen state for 4 years, so my reputation, in the long run, doesn't matter. Im guessing Tod was on a smaller campus too, my campus has 40-50k so its different.

I for sure experience jealousy but I’m not sure I understand what you mean in this last part. Who do you mean by they?

@Nahm I want to get rid of the anxiety fear and insecurity. I want the vulnerability.

@Nahm The concept you brought up about seeing how sensitive I am is interesting. My problem with it is how do I get rid of that sensitivity if I’m not desensitizing myself. And if you’d saying no plan will solve it I’m not really sure how I should go about it. On the one hand people tell me not approach on campus, on the other hand other mentors of mine tell me I’m just creating the problem and that I absolutely should and that my mind will always look for excuses. I guess I’m just internally torn.

@Nahm If I’m correct then what your saying is I’m justifying my feeling of worry and anxiety through saying I’m worried about the reputation, when really I’m just worried. Are you saying I should get rid of this whole story of “I will be the weird approach guy, people will know, I will develope a reputation”. What exactly do you think my corse of action should be? Drop the excuses and approach anyways? and your saying I’d I make a plan to avoid a reputation, I’m almost creating the worry. If I didn’t even have the thought, it probably wouldn’t exsist

The problem is I need a daily practice I can do every day to get comfortable meeting and talking to new people. And my fear is if I don’t have that I will not be social at all. To me even if I’m known as that guy, at least I will have grown So do you think if I just casually stop people and small talk, and casual say hi to random people all day, that that would be too much. I would try and make it natural but the bottom line is I must approach. I need a consistent daily practice of meeting people of some kind.

I actually have a decent. social circle. I get invited sometimes just not enough to make a consistent thing out of it.

Penn state university, it’s unreal there are frat parties and I have a friend who gets me in sometimes. If your not part of the frat you have to bring a bunch of girls to get in and I don’t wanna join a frat. You definitely can’t just walk in unless it’s an apartment party. the problem is I must get over my anxiety, I have to go out and talk to random people every day to get comfortable I’m just trying to develop a strategy to do that. I need a way to have small talk with a bunch of people every day. The other thing is I will only be here for 4 years and so the skills I gain are more important to me than reputation. At the end of the day if I have to develope a bad reputation to break my anxiety and become confident then that’s what I’ll do. I never do anything too flashy though, like crazy directs I will tell a girl she’s cute and I wanted to meet her. Every day I go out and approach people and just try and be social. I do the 100 hi exercise and the first 15 are shit and it’s kinda weird, but the rest of them people just think I’m a cool social guy. If I’m going out doing this every day it’s only a matter of time before I say hi to the same person twice.

I did a 3 day workshop on this releasing process. It’s super useful for people who think a lot. At one point I felt like a head on wheels with no connection to my body. It helped me think less and feel more

Erie Pennsylvania

I did this exercise after me and my dad had a huge fight. By the end it went from me being angry and rage filled at him, to me just seeing myself in him and feeling an overwhelming sadness and forgiveness. The next time I say him I was able to see him in a different light, just realizing that I was a huge part of the problem. Very powerful exercise!

I have struggled with the same story myself. I live on a college campus and had feared becoming "the weird pickup guy". I have found multiple solutions. First is welcome being the weird pickup guy, and becoming completely okay with it. Ask yourself "what is the worst that could happen, then fully be okay with it. Imagine yourself being found out, and release all the emotions that that brings up until you are okay with it. the Sedona method is really good for this. The next thing I did was I just worked on being social in general instead of spam approaching girls. I do a 100 hi's exercise, this is where you have to say hi to 100 people in a row without skipping. You would be amazed at how incredible this exercise is and opening you up, getting you social and comfortable being seen and expressive. I feel like getting comfortable being seen by others is the key. The more people that see you the more people have an opinion on you, but allowing this to happen and then letting it go is what allows you to develop independence from the outcome.

Has anyone here watched the fearless man on youtube. His content has helped me alot. Check him out if you haven't!

I personally worked part-time after school to save up some money to start taking courses and going to workshops and seminars. When you need your parent's money they will always be looking over your shoulder. If you have to just say that you found a cool course on success that you wanted to take. If they keep asking for more details just say it's a course to find success by finding purpose and direction, very few parents will have a problem with that. You don't have to tell them about all the other things he teaches.

@DIDego Thanks for this I will check it out!

I was supposed to leave for my freshman year on the 16th, after taking the purpose course I decided to drop out at the last second. My whole family was shocked, my dad screamed at me, and they are unwilling to give me any financial support, so I'm out on my own with $2000. I bought a one-way ticket to Miami on the 16th. my plan is to find creative ways to live so inexpensively that I can save up the money to self educate. I wanted to start this thread to open a discussion about living, minimalisticly, saving money, self education, and really anything related to these kind of topics. Please share any advice, ideas ect

@Nahm That's a good point, focusing on what I do want as opposed to what I don't want. Even though I've heard that before I still fall into that same trap over and over again.

@sda I'm still figuring it out. I want to invent things that help society.

I’m going for engineering so as long as I can get a good job @Jacob Morres

@Bando Thanks, believe me, this whole experience with my family and my dad really coming down on me has really humbled me. I believe I know way more than I do, I'm a know it all when really I have no life experience and no solid plan. At least college will give me the opportunity to find like-minded people because I was very shy in high school and there is no way that will change working at Starbucks. Luckily I contacted the school and they were able to stop the cancellation, so it's like it never happened. I'm paying the full price as of now but am contemplating what you said to maybe transfer or find a cheaper option for next year.

I canceled my cancelation and am going to college. I guess I would rather be an engineer making 150k than be working at Starbucks for 80 hours a week.

other alternatives might be finding a college for way cheaper, associates degrees, certain jobs that don't require a degree but require training. The only reason I felt I could be successful in spite of college is that I don't want a family so I only have to support myself, and I'm willing to live extremely frugally. Right now I'm just trying to think of some paths where I can create a portfolio of projects and have that be my way of getting hired. I know it seems like I make dumb decisions but if felt that paying 35k for a year of school with no clue if I needed it was gonna be dumb.

I really don't know at this point, I feel lost, everyone says something different, but at the end of the day, I have to make decisions and take full responsibility. I figured If I just grind for the next year straight working 80+ hours a week, I can save up a shit ton of money (especially because the rent my dad is making me pay, he is gonna save it up and give it back to me). assuming I am able to save up around 50k+, I can move to a city (doesn't have to be Miami) and share a bunk bedroom with a couple of people for extremely cheap. I can eat rice and beans for like 100 bucks a month, take public transit, and cut my overall living expenses down to 10k per year. This could allow me to work as a server part-time (barely cutting into my savings), and spend 40+ hours a week developing skills to get me a longer-term job to support myself (doesn't have to be my LP). Let me know if this plan seems feasible, or if there are a lot of things I'm overlooking, etc. Thanks for your guy's input, it really helps especially when my whole family is just expecting me to go to college and all of my friends did the same, but I just can't pay 150k for an education that Is leading me to where I want to go.

@Bob Seeker -taking on 150k debt -mechanical engineering studying 60-80 hours a week and I'm lukewarm about it, I was gonna do it to get a good job to save up so I could quit and pursue something else so if figured I might aswell pursue it Now?

I talked to my dad, he's gonna let me stay at home, he's gonna save the rent to give it back to me. I can build up credit, live frugally, and I'm enrolling in art classes. I'm also gonna get a job at a local college so I can make friends with college kids. I agree moving to Miami is brash, but the college thing has been on my mind for almost a year and I'm confident in that decision. thanks for the advice and please share any more thoughts.