Peter Miklis

@RendHeaven no, uGlY gYu WiTh HoT gIrL doesn't shatter my worldview, so don't assume things. It actually isn't worldview at all, I can still observe that and be like "cool, that one doesn't fit into my equation. No big deal." I think my looks moreso just allowed it. And me having "I don't give a shit" attitude sealed the deal. After 1 girl wanted me, others followed. So later, social status was a factor. And after that, knowing I have aspherghers and was inexperienced was also a turn on for them. Probably because some of them wanted me for theirselves. Also, "liked me" is a little bit soft. You wouldn't believe if I told you lol. The thing is, I cannot imagine this snowball effect would happen if I was ugly. If I was ugly and wouldn't give a shit, that would be like a beggar telling you he doesn't need your money. "Yeah, ok, whatever dude" would be your answer. Why do you think women are any different? And about going out thing, yeah that's little bit problematic in our country right now. Hope it gets better soon.

And I have a real life experience of girls liking me predominantly based on my looks (it wasn't the only component, but it was the main one), and rejecting other guys because they were ugly, and even laughing at them and making fun of them. We can talk about who experienced what all day and still would not agree with each other. You think just because you saw some examples of ugly guys scoring hot women, and read some books that you have now monopoly in understanding women? You think I and the topic creator have never gone out? You are not skilled with women enough to talk like this. It's just getting laughable.

Lol I love these comedic Discovery channel type videos about humans? here's another one

I don't think women should be anxious about this at all. As long as they take care of themselves, are nice and sweet, and expose themselves to social situations, they'll have no problems. The only problem really, is finding right guy/guys.

Jesus Christ, you could probably write a whole book on this issue. Maybe it would be a good idea.

@TheSpiritualBunny yeah, many women find the fact that you have aspherghers "cute", if you are good looking guy, that is. I also happen to have one, so I know from experience. If you're not good looking and have aspherghers, you're regarded as weirdo. Just the way it is. And yeah, everyone cares about looks to some degree, but don't let that distract you from the fact that personality is also important.

@loub is that actually his quote? Hahaha Bukowski is the man lived most of his life like a bum, but had more insight than a philosopher

I see what you are trying to say. I think this concepts doesn't only apply to sexual attraction, but mainly types of thinking and ways of looking at the world. There are actual differences in the brain between men and women. So, maybe from that we can derive masculine and feminine energies.

@Sempiternity that's actually a very good idea. You can set up cool enviroment and plan everything out beforehand. And, you can play your own music, not a shitty one like a lot of restaurants tend to have.

@Rilles what are we even arguing here about? Isn't masculine and feminine behavour observable in the real world? How can we possibly say they don't exist and they are constructs? Such a nonsensical debate.

@Emerald The only reason why I mention and talk about these schenanigans regarding looks is because they are basically left out of the conversation. A lot of people, including Leo, refuse to accept looks as a criteria in attraction, and their talking point is: "You can sleep with any girl regardless of your looks, if you work on your game enough." And that is an OBVIOUS LIE. NO, if you are very ugly, you CANNOT sleep with an attractive girl. This should be an obvious thing, but it's simply ignored ir not mentioned enough.

@Emerald you basically repeated my points. Looksmatch, personality, minimum looks criteria. So we agree lol

@RendHeaven if applying game worked for uglier guys, brilliant, good for them. I'm happy for them.

@RendHeaven I'm kinda tired of constantly debunking the same arguments when it comes to this topic. Oh well, I'm gonna do it anyway. Yes, your friends game sucked, that's how he lost his gfs. No shit. I never said looks are the only thing that matters. I just said they matter the most. The fact that he had negative game and still pulled 2 women should really tell you something. No? Looks basically give you 1 main perk: the better you look, the less you have to try. The worse you look, the more work is required. This doesn't apply always, but mostly. If you don't meet the minimum looks criteria (as it was said by probably the only honest women here@Eternity ), it's over. It doesn't matter what you do. No ammount of game will save a guy who is bellow average. Having badboy game doesn't neccessarily mean soaked panties. Looks hovewer, do the job, given that your personality is not shit and you have some minimal social skills.

@7thLetter honestly, I don't think it's possible. I'm in kind of a similiar situation as you right now, except it's not that much of a problem for me to attract, since I'm OK looking, more like actually talk to them and just take them with me. I'm also working on my stuff just like you, hoping I'll make it. It seems that lack of socializing is a big hurdle to overcome. Even if you are attractive, things just flow more naturaly if you have social circle and things in common that you can talk about. I don't even enjoy talking to most people, so it's gonna be challenging for sure. @EnlightenmentBlog even introverted girls like to be social every once in a while, so it's really not that much of a relief.

@Rilles For many guys, "being yourself" or just "being male" doesn't cut it. Stop saying this. If a guy has to swing his pendulum to overly masculine in order to attract women and have success in general, let him do it. If he has to integrate feminine to live happier, let him do it. "Being yourself", in most cases, is being underdeveloped. That's not good.

What you said about milenials is a big generalisation, and a popular right-wing argument. However, with rest I agree. Young men shouldn't really think too much about masculine-feminine hogwash and just go interact with women and people, see what works and doesn't work.

@Eternity finally a woman who knows what's up lol. Women are primarily attracted to looks.

The only reason you rejected her is because you are used to fucking hot girls. So yes, dude, you ARE shallow, lol. Your pride didn't let you be with her. Uglier girls can be good tool for gaining experience, so you actually shot yourself in the foot. Of course, if you are only looking for relationships, that's another thing, but you could've just fucked her and gain experience? just sayin'

@Preety_India I see. So in this case, it probably was an actual psychopath/sociopath/narcisist. We, as self actualizers, have to develop 6th sense for spotting these kind of people. I don't really know any psychopath or sociopath personally (maybe 1), but I've met plenty of narcisists. And they tend to do this hot-cold strategy; they are very nice to you and over-invest in the beginning, but that's only because they want your attention, or something else from you, and that's how they learned to get it. Once they get what they want, they dissapear or hurt their victim. They probably don't even think they hurt someone, this is just natural for them. Also, what I forgot to mention is that they make everything about themselves. Literaly every conversation with a narcisist, regardless of topic, will end up talking about them.

@Eternity friend that used her didn't necessarily have to be a sociopath or psychopath, but even if it was, it is mostly you allowing that person to use you. @Preety_India I don't think you should be overly protective of your self and fear people because of this hurt, but don't be too eager to help or heal someone like the last time. A good rule of thumb is to invest the same ammount of energy into the person, as he/she's investing back. That way, you probably won't get used.

That is hard one to answer. It depends on what level you currently are at understanding self development. For enlightened, fully integrated people, psychology as a concept ceases to exist. For them, being trully happy means becoming fully aware of one's own nature. So, I guess, the ultimate guide to most healthy psychology is to stop existing and become God?

I may be biased right now, since I'm doing Leo's LP course, but I think this attachment of yours can be solved in a way you wouldn't expect. What do you want out of life? Like, what do you REALLY want? What meaningfull things could you pursue? What are your top 10 values? I think once you really figure this out, you are not going to have this problem with assigning too much meaning to one women ever again. You literaly won't let yourself do that, because that would mean betraying your values, all of which are infinitely more meaningful.

Well, meditation certainly helps you to relax and calm your monkey mind, and that in and of itself can be enough. Sometimes, you just need to get out of your damn head and live in the moment. About concept of game, I don't know how effective game really is. I think game is more about things you shouldn't do than what you should do.

@Karmadhi that junk food analogy is pretty accurate.