I know usually boys have this "little problem", but let's be serious: Girls watch porn, too.
Some more often than others.
There are a lot of complex reasons why I chose to give up porn forever. I'll say some of them:
-When u watch it, obviously you get turned on and you masturbate.
-I realized that I do it when I feel alone/when I am anxious/when I am bored/when I am not in the mood for studying :)) .. and that proves very clearly that it's not an activity I would do with "my heart open".. I just do it having the illusion it makes me feel better. And it's an addiction.
-Porn has an influence on your mind..bigger than you can actually imagine: it turns people into rapists, criminals, homosexuals, child molesters and other deviations from normality : because the act of simply watching repeatedly something makes that something enter our subconscious mind and consider it normal.
-Some of you may be bothered I included homosexuals in that list. I am sorry, I am not a homophobic person. I actually had relationships with other girls... and I realized the main reason I started doing that was BECAUSE OF PORN. At first, I was curious about porn videos with women.. they seemed nicer than man and woman because they were very kind and loving with each other.. they touched each other in a very sweet way and they were so hot together.. so I continued watching them without taking into consideration that someday I could actually do that. It seemed only a curiosity and a way of having fun alone.. Days passed and I became more and more curious, I started wishing that thing. Only as a fantasy. After some years I wanted to try kissing girls for real.. to see how it feels. It didn't seem to be a big deal. We were having fun.. I was still watching hot girls videos.. I was having relationships with guys, started my sex life at 18. Things were good. Then.. step by step, I realized I had a burning desire to have sex with a girl. And maybe even try a relationship. And..I did that. I had a 2 years relationship with a girl. I don't want to go very deep into that topic.. Just wanted to sum up my conclusion: if I didn't watch porn, things would not have gone that far. Ever. Porn LITERALLY changes the way you see some situations, the desires you have about people around you and even your behavior. With every porn video you watch, cells in your brain are not the same anymore. Something very small is changed. Then another tiny part is changed. And so on. Until you become somebody you don't know anymore. Is porn that strong to influence people in doing crimes? The answer is: Definitely. It is.
-Sex is a very deep process (just like that picture with the iceberg that we all know: we see a small part of the iceberg at the surface, but deep down there is a huge part we don't have any idea about) which requires a very big effort from the human body. When 2 people who love each other and are very connected to each other make love, at the end there is a hormone that is released: Oxitocin, which helps the body to recover from the exhausting process of sex. If you have occasional sex or you masturbate, this hormone is not released anymore. In time, if you continue having sex with persons you don't have a long relationship with or continue masturbating, you'll experience a lot of wrong consequences like inflammation in your body, headaches, back pain, joint pains, low immune system and so on. I am not talking here about infections with Herpes virus, HIV, Chlamidya or others. These are another topic. I am only talking about long-term effects of masturbation and sex with random partners.
-I want to have control over different aspects of my life to be an example for my future children and masturbation is one of them.
These are one of the main reasons I want to give up masturbation. The last time I did it was on 21st of January and I promised myself that at least for a month I wouldn't do it. And I respected that. But I still have dreams with sex, I still have porn images in my had when I am bored, I still feel turned on sometimes. And soon, there will be a month since I've made that promise and it's hard for me to make it another month... so I think it's a good solution to start this journal and be really honest with you and with myself.
I'll keep it actualized.
