Miguel1

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Posts posted by Miguel1

  1. Posted

    1 hour ago, Nilsi said:

    I can not play this role authentically, so trying to do so would be even less empathetic imo.

    This way they at least get an authentic interaction with me, even if the son-parent dynamic is broken. 

    I totally understand your thinking.

    But at the same time there is wisom in ''meeting people where they are at'', especially when it is about casual stuff like socializing.

  2. Posted

    1 hour ago, Nilsi said:

    This is my Christmas vibe xD 

    Lol.

     

    1 hour ago, Nilsi said:

    Why do you feel the need to play some kind of role, when you don’t value your parents judgement?

    I stopped giving a fuck a long time ago 

    The issue is not that I give a fuck. I care less and less every year. The issue is hurting their feelings deeply. It is called empathy.

     

    1 hour ago, Nilsi said:

    deliberately transgressing social norms and my families expectations of me is probably the only thing that will bring me some joy the next couple days (and booze) lol

    This was fun for me to do 10 to 5 years ago. Nowadays, I don't bother. Actually feel bad for hurting their feelings, hence the post above.

    I am contemplating whether to give them the little joy I can by putting a bit of effort each year into a character OR just simply cutting ties with them, which would deeply hurt them, possible for decades until they die.

    The question is not about giving a fuck or not. The question is about what is the most loving thing to do here, when considering the big picture of both parties.

  3. Posted · Edited by Miguel1

    The time of the year is here: The Beautiful and Peaceful Christmas.

    ...where everyone in the family gathers and acts peaceful, happy and loving, while inside they're boiling from repressions of inner conflict. And any small trigger will release a bunch of the repressed feelings...

    I'm still fairly young, but each year that passes, I lose more and more interest in spending time with my family and I feel a bit guilty for this (help 🥹).

    If my family's values were green, that would be a dream. But they are not even orange. They are mostly blue.

    At least, when I go out to clubs to socialize, I can self-amuse myself and act like a fool, for fun. For my own joy and laughter. Some people hate it but then there are plenty of people who love it. And on top of that, there are a bunch of cool, open-minded, healthy orange and green types of people I can bump into by chance.

    When it comes to my family, any small amount of authentic conversation goes out the window to begin with because engaging in any bit of a nuanced conversation will lead to someone getting defensive. Self-amusement is impossible due to the traditionality and conservativeness: gotta behave well, well-mannered, sophisticated, civilized, cultured etc.

    So I'm left with the only option of acting like this traditional, well-behaved stage blue character. And seriously, I don't get much joy out of it at all. I would much rather prefer to be alone. Or spend the day with a girl. Or even hit the clubs. Or work.

    ----

    Please share your stories of how you have detached from your family and what are your conclusions in your relationship with the incrementally and exponentially growing difference in your development compared to your family.

    Do you still hang out with your family regularly? Do you see them only 1-3 times a year? Have you cut them off completely?

    I think at this point where I am currently at, I would prefer to cut them off completely. But there is a bit of guilt arising from that idea. Also, I'm not sure if I am being selfish here because I would deeply hurt them if I were to cut them off. So perhaps, it would be best for me to keep seeing them 1-3 times a year, as a character they like... Or... is this just me people-pleasing in an unhealthy way and letting others step over my boundaries?

  4. Posted

    I have gone out to clubs for years and for some reason, I never realized to take earplugs seriously (even though I've heard the recommendation here and there) until now when Leo posted the blog post.

    It made me stop and deeply think and research. And goddamn I have been dumb.

    I am wondering whether I have damaged my hearing or not. I don't have tinnitus right now, that much I know. So I'm wondering are there ways to find out whether my hearing has been damaged? Whether it is worse than normal hearing? (panicking a bit lol).

    ---

    I am also very surprised. I have been studying game content and coaches for a decade and I don't recall bumping into anyone strongly suggesting or even casually suggesting and promoting the usage of earplugs. Why is this? Also, from what I've seen, most people don't use ear plugs. Also, why the hell are clubs even allowed to blast music so loud that it literally damages your hearing?

     

    jauge_temps_en.png

  7. Posted

    28 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

    Swagger is what you mean? Confidence? Assertiveness? Politeness and honesty?

    I can get that and I got these from other things like martial arts, gym, and just acting like a decent man on a day-to-day basis. Not sure what more there is to get.

    And I don't need to chase sex to motivate me to improve these aspects of my life.

    On 17/12/2023 at 0:00 PM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

    The idea of cold approaching is daunting, I won't lie. It feels alien to me, and the thought alone is enough to freeze me in my tracks. It's not just nerves; it's a physical barrier I'm grappling with. To tackle this, I've been doing daily breathwork exercises and confronting some deep-seated emotional trauma, especially around my chest and heart area. It's a painful process, with about 30 minutes each day of intense, burning emotions, but I'm hoping it's clearing the way for better things.

    I have tried cold approaching before, around 20-30 times, but it's always been a struggle. It required a lot of self-coercion and the presence of a friend to make it more bearable. However, this approach isn't something I can sustain long term.

     

     

  18. Posted

    18 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

    Some of us want families and non degenerative and hedonistic lifestyles. Some of us don't care about the flash or glory because we see the illusion in it

    What makes you say family life is not basked in illusion?

    Feel free to elaborate your thoughts more. For example, I recall Leo saying in his Happiness video that family life is not for him (doesn't make him happy).

    I have also deeply contemplated this matter for a loong time, whether family life is for me or not. And frankly, right now I think I am 50-50. Probably need more life experience to get clearer. Maybe 60-40 for a life without family.

  20. Posted

    1 hour ago, Nabd said:

    No offense but aren't you doing the same? Aren't we all?

    If you claim otherwise (reached full understanding of god/become so conscious etc) then the other philosopher can claim the same through their work.

    Good question. Ultimately, what is mental masturbation?

    The general definition of it is: thinking about things that don't have any practical purpose. Well, then we would have to define practical purpose.

    That being said, I wonder how much % of all the thinking we do here is mental masturbation.

    It is tricky when it comes to philosophers because all philosophers think that whatever they are thinking about is going to result in a practical purpose, by definition. Otherwise, they wouldn't bother trying to understand on such a deep level. Basically, what Leo's work is all about.

    When it comes to philosophers, they define themselves as what is practical and what is not.

    For most people and most philosophers, God-realization and Alien Consciousness are pointless in the human practical domain.

  22. Posted

    Just now, StarStruck said:

    Acting out is not how to deal with trauma

    Where did you get trauma from this conversation? Especially ''acting out to deal with trauma''

    Leo is not an expert in trauma, so I assume he didn't talk at all or at least much about it in the episode (don't remember). And @Thought Art didn't mention anything about trauma. Neither did I.

    Burning through karma in this context simply means exhausting material desires. For example, I care much less about having sex and girls around me now, compared to 10 years ago, simply because I've got so much of it that it has become kinda boring and lame compared to how excited I was many years ago.

    Now I am in the process of doing the same with money-making.

    Burning through the desire for something.

     

  23. Posted

    31 minutes ago, koops said:

    I don't think he is chasing girls nowadays really.

    He said he is going to stop doing free tours next year, and stay home to start a podcast.

    Some of the reasons: building a social life, throwing parties, getting fit, and surgery for his torn ACL.

    That being said, I wouldn't be surprised if this is one of his scarcity marketing techniques to get people to his ''last free tours''.

    I mean, he may seriously be planinng on starting a podcast and stopping free tours (for a while) but perhaps in 3 years, not next year... Who knows. We have seen a lot of his ''last x'' marketing stunts.

    Similar to his game program and bootcamp marketing throughout the years. Similar to how he was supposed to release his new series of spiritual videos like 2 years ago.

  25. Posted

    3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Frankly I don't understand how he's not sick of it yet.

     

    1 hour ago, koops said:

    I wish he takes 2 years off and comes up with new stuff, with a renewed worldview; but doesn't look that that is going to happen.

     

    We have established here on the forum a few times, that part of him is still deeply stuck in stage orange.

    Perhaps, he just has a deep attachment to his identity of running a low 8-figures biz.

    And perhaps, precisely because his party and chasing girls-lifestyle requires him to make that money.