Miguel1

I agree. But at the same time it is not easy to be completely okay with something that is like a basic need. It’s almost like saying: ”as long as you are okay with not having any money, then money will come!”

I deeply appreciate how respectful and mature your approach to the conversations here is. My counter-argument to what you said however is, that there is a way better way to do all that: be social with people, let loose and have fun, generate social proof, get in state, escalate, lead and close. These I believe are way more fundamental than focusing on lines and techniques, especially as a beginner.

Todd is a head first person. Watch some of the more natural styles like Owen. He can show full intent with words, while his presence communicates non-attachment. That being said, I don’t want to bash Todd. I’ve gotten a lot of value from him. But I would say his style works very well for people who are already naturally charming. Some great lines and techniques will just heavily highlight their charm and attractiveness. But most people getting into game, does so because they are not charming to begin with. Lines and techniques will get them stuck in their heads like no other. I know a few Todd students, and their game is awful.

No problems, you have not done anything wrong yet. I appreciate you trying to help me.

And as I said earlier, this is based on purely wishful thinking. Lots of people live like this and find no one. As a naturally ambitious and extroverted person, I like to be proactive and take actions towards what I want.

This thread is not just about me and my dating problems. How is everyone doing? If this remains just as my topic, then we will move it to the dating sub-forum.

Yes, good point. Todd V has some great technical stuff, but it often sacrifices your inner game, as you become too try-hard internally, even when you don’t show it outwards. And the fact that you have to also manage not showing it externally, fucks your inner game even more. The more I mature, the more I like to just go direct, while my body communicates ”interested but you gotta have way more than just looks”.

Probably 7-8/10. Where are you leading this?

@Wilhelm44 If my dream woman appeared in front of my door, I would receive her with open arms and love. I have dated so many people, during my whole adult life, that I would know how to fully appreciate a truly beautiful soul.

Ideally this is done with your presence, eye contact, tone of voice and body language. Playing these word games can get yourself too heavily in your head.

Don’t you think you are basing such strong statement simply in blief? You have no real proof that it actually is inevitable for most people. In theory it does make sense. For example, if I keep on focusing on building my conscious business and art, I am WAY more likely to find what I am looking for, than in the general socializing spaces of the mainstream culture.

I think this is too reductionist. Plenty of being wait their whole lives, and nothing happens. On the other hand, my natural extrovertness makes it very hard for me to just be passive and wait patiently.

Can you make this simpler to understand? What are you trying to say?

There are plenty of mature and older women out there that I meet and want to pursue dating with me. I can’t find them attractive, no matter how much I try (not assuming your wife is older).

Yes of course. This is just not supposed to be a fix-it-all thread. Just a place to be a bit more vulnerable and open, than usual.

For me, dating is extremely hard because I am used to the best looking girls. And for the past 5 years that I was in a relationship (and did hardcore actualized work), I grew my emotional and psychological age like 10-20 years at least. Now that I am single, you could say that my emotional and psychological age is of an 40-50 years old’s. Yet, I don’t get attracted to older people, nor younger ones that are not that physically attractive (I am used to the best). So, not only my emtional age is way higher than the girls’ I am attracted to, but also the girls that I am attracted most likely haven’t had to develop themselves psychologically too much (due to being spoiled). Despite all this, my brain is wired for deep intimacy and human connections. And like Natasha said the other day (paraphasing): she needs someone with whom she can have meaningful conversations with. For me to have a proper connection and intimacy with a girl, I need to be attracted to her physically, but also intellectually (to a certain degree). So as a 31 years old, I am looking to find someone who is 24-28 (ideally 24-26), is emotionally relatively mature, doesn’t have much baggage and traumas at all, has secure attachment style, is overall a good human being with a good heart, is capable of relaxing into her feminine with me, and also is wise and intelligent enough to have some meaningful conversations with me here and there — and oh yeah, is also physically quite attractive. If I find a girl who has all these qualities and is ”8/10” attractive, it would be a dream. But it feels like trying to find a unicorn. What makes it harder is how do you attract such a girl? Do you apply your best game to her? Or do you lower your game as much as possible to screen for this girl, because a girl like this would appreciate mature, conscious behaviour, right? At this point in my spiritual and psychological development, applying hard game is exhausting as hell because it is purely dishonesty. My brain chemistry is so wired for honesty and being truthful that going against it feels like pushing a huge rock forward. - - - - - Sorry this turned out to be my release thread. But please, this is not just about me. Feel free to share how is it going with you all? Are you aligned in life? Get in touch with your heart and me know.

Human games. You have been on this forum for over 5 years, you should know. There is a reason, attracting girls is called ”game”. Because you are playing mind games, rather than being truthful and honest. There is a reason why the wisest and most conscious sages are alone. They are not interested in playing human games.

And assumptions ”You seem like you are a squirrel”

@LordFall The problem is that life is too hard to maintain frame all the time. If you date a superficial girl, you cannot offer her perfect life and perfect frame 24/7. A mature girl understands this, and she will appreciate the human in you. Immature ones will only like you for your surface.

Well said. I am happy to see the maturity you express. Dating a woman that is stuck in hypergamy is exhausting and a short-term game. What happens when a ”higher value” than you comes along? And there will be plenty of them. Wasted energy and time.

Hahaha what in the world am I reading. You talk like it’s your first week on actualized.org.

This. Turning girls in finance/crypto spaces into serious consciousness work? We can do better than that with our understanding of human mind.

As Jith pointed out, I am talking purely looks, not personality. I couldn’t even appreciate real beauty by girls, before I matured, and got more abundant with girls.

They are more rare than unicorns. But my God if I had a genius conscious hottie as my girlfriend, escape to live in the middle of nowhere, raise a family and practice spirituality together. Tantra at night. Now this is happiness.

MY GOD, someone fucking said it! Whenever I bring up the topic of me needing my partner to be able to discuss some depth, guys here be like: aS lOnG As sHe iS femIninE, WhT doEs iT mAtTer!!!!!