Miguel1

This is obvious. I guess I live in a bubble. I don't really know any PUAs in real life other than myself. I don't even like to call myself PUA. Just a cool social guy who likes to connect and have fun with people and girls - and treat them with love. All the wingmen I've had who were toxic, I dropped. I haven't ever followed the PUA community much. I was never on the RSD forum (was too young and busy approaching girls lol - I was 19 in 2015). Now that I think about it, I've heard multiple times that it was toxic as hell. But to be fair, a lot of guys are like the way you define, even if they are not into pick up. Especially the guys who actually do get girls. And even for the guys who don't get girls, probably a good amount of them would behave as such if they actually did get girls. So PUA or not, lots of toxic, unconscious people out there. And I've had very strong boundaries in blocking these people from my life so I guess I'm blind.

My point is that we gotta be careful of this idea of sitting in solitude in a cave doing nothing all day because we are so ''high conscious''. If you want to be so high conscious, perhaps death is the answer for you. Paraphrasing Leo: ''We don't know what Infinite Consciousness is because we have called it death'' As far as being on Earth to live human lives... Then live it.

Being a human being and alive is one big survival.

Yes, I understand. As I've grown to understand myself and my personality (ENFJ) better, I am an extremely empathetic and feeling type of person. Side note: I used to think that me being very feeling-type was a bad thing due to spiritual brainwashing. Thanks Leo for waking me up from that and too many other bullshit lol. --- Don't get me wrong. I am not criticizing your thoughts. Quite the contrary: I am trying to be open-minded to my own possible devilry and bullshit (that I'm not seeing) in regards to dating. My own blindspots in other words. As far as some girls catching feelings to me and being hurt (even tho I was open and honest about my intentions from the beginning), I would perhaps argue that this is something that just comes with it? Kinda like playing sports. You will likely eventually get injured. Or am I being a devil here? I am trying my best to make my dating as conscious and healthy as possible. My life purpose is to be a healthy role model for people. Right now, especially in the more practical realm / stage orange / self-development / dating / money making etc. Later in spirituality as well. Anyway, I would really appreciate if you and others give me pointers to think about possible ways I'm being unhealthy in regards to dating.

Talking about personal experience here: I understanding that some lying happens. I would maybe call it white-lies. I understand that some manipulation / techniques happens, as in marketing and business too. But cheating? hurting others? What do you mean by hurting? As in leading the girl to believe that you want something more serious, even tho you never intended to do so - just to get in her pants? I've never had to use such strategy. Perhaps a little bit in my first year of learning game, when I was still desperate. I have also never cheated on anyone I've dated seriously. In fact, I have been very clear on my intentions with the girls I have been seeing, and often speak openly about my feelings, vulnerabilities, and passions about philosophy and spirituality - while knowing full well that all of these acts can dramatically increase the chance of the girl getting the ick and stop seeing me. Thanks to the abundance I've gotten from learning game, I don't mind the girls leaving me for me being honest, nearly as much as I would if I was in scarcity. What I'm saying is that I can be much more honest, vulnerable and authentic with my intentions with the girls - precisely because of the abundance I've gotten from the skillset of game.

You too 🤍

https://www.actualized.org/insights/jack-black So, I love everything you said in this blogpost. Spot on. My game nowadays is very much like Jack Black as in being fully free in expressiveness and authenticity that aligns with my core personality and to who I am as a person. I have the looks but I rarely depend on it / use it. Oftentimes I look like a homeless man just because I'm too lazy to put my A-game looks on or really to do anything about it. But the thing is, I contribute a lot of my Jack Black style to Owen & Julien. That's where I mostly learned this natural, Jack Black style from. You've got a bunch of ''negative'' stuff to say about Owen tho, including: - ''He is not really the best in game. He is a much better at teaching game than at game itself.'' Of course he isn't literally the #1 best in game, but the way you come across makes him sound like he doesn't have an elite-level game. - ''He dresses too try-hard'' - ''He doesn't get laid that much (relative to how much he approaches)'' ---- So I'm just trying to connect the dots. What am I missing? From my understanding, Owen teaches everything you said in the blogpost. That's his whole foundation. His whole schtick. Are you saying that Jack Black doesn't get laid much? Or he wouldn't if he didn't have the status? The cool thing here is that Owen and Jack Black are quite alike both in looks but also in game. And it seems like you tend to overall give Owen more shit compared to how much you are praising Jack Black here. Curious to know why. Thanks for taking your time to answer.

Yes. I have phases and moods and also, calibrate to the venue, where I can be more chill, laid-back & sophisticated or very social, energetic & wild - or in-between. But the key I've found is to be free and authentic to both your mood and calibration of the environment. Thanks for the comment.

I finally had time to read this with deep thoughts. I hate reading something deeper in a rush, and respond unconsciously, reactively. Thank you for your clarifications. Makes sense now.

I wonder if he would have ever wisen up, had he not been cancelled. But then again, he was bound to be cancelled.

Damn. I guess because of my naive youth, I'm now doomed But now I have been in a relationship for almost 4 years! Can I be forgiven for my past sins?

Side note: did you skip sleep last night @Leo Gura or is it Alien A.I Leo writing all these answers?

If you go see his Instagram stories now, he is literally talking about how he was struggling with blood pressure that could have killed him (185), a month ago due to overworking. And that he has been been trying everything to normalize his blood pressure.

I see. So you contribute all that mostly to your looks? Based on this post, your charisma is probably not the best?

What are the ways you’ve gotten lots of sex, if not through pickup?

Yes, of course. That’s why I mentioned that these are more advanced stuff. The goal was just to show him that he doesn’t need to overthink. Just a simple ”heyooo, what’s up guys” or ”Heyy, you look very lovely!” - both with a smile works fine

This is something you gotta develop on your own. We all have our own styles that fits our personality. But the key is to get their attention in a positive manner. As a dancer, I sometimes go up to them and twerk my ass and shake my tits to them and give them the look. Sometimes I might even pull out my nipple to show them, if I have a shirt with an open neck. The look is the key. Sometimes I growl at them without saying anything and give them the look. Sometimes I meow at them. Sometimes I'm just ''OOOOOOOOOOOOOH MY GODD!!!'' with my whole body language as well. And they're ''WHat?!'' and I'm: ''Nothing. What's up?'' with a straight face. Sometimes I might sing happy birthday..................... TO ME.................... in 3 months. Sometimes I yell at them ''BALLS!'' Sometimes I tell them that I love them and want to get married to them Sometimes I tell them that they look like dragons A girl I approached a while ago was clearly a gym-girl. I opened her with saying ''you look like you would beat the shit out of me and throw me around in bed to the walls, and fuck me in the ass with a strap-on''. She was dying of laughter from that. It doesn't really matter. As long as you are having fun with them. But I am very congruent in doing these. And the key is that I am self-amusing myself while doing this. I do it cuz I find it hilarious more so than that I want them to open. But tbh, these are all more advanced shit. I am saying these just to show you that it's not that serious. ---- For you, you can start practicing with just '''heey, whats up guys?'' with a smile. Since it is kinda boring open, you gotta carry the conversation with follow-up comments / statements / observations / questions until they are more invested. Another one is ''heeey, you guys look very lovely!'' When it comes to follow-up questions, a good rule of thumb is: question-answer-tease. Ideally you don't ask 2 questions in a row. NEVER 3. Tease them about their answer. This way it doesn't turn interviewy. Some simple follow-ups: ''Have you guys had a fun night?'' ''Where are you from'' / ''you look Chinese / x'' ''You seem like x'' Use your common sense and come up with some stuff to say. Have fun with it. This is not tedious work. --- Ultimately, what you need to do is just get used to approaching people in general. All of these shit won't be in your conscious memory when you are actually there conversing with people. Get used to doing bunch of brief, short approaches first and then we can work on other next-step stuff. On a final note, as a beginner, you don't really have to be in a club for more than 1-2 hours per night. If you are there for 4+ hours, it can become very overwhelming which can discourage you a lot. Start slow and slowly build it up.

I have been out solo probably 300 nights at least. There's nothing weird about it. If someone asks, own it. ''Who are you here with?'' ''Im here alone. I love meeting new people and my friends didn't wanna come out tonight. So I thought I'd rather come out to socialize than cry myself to sleep '' Other than that, start just chatting people, small-talk with people, you don't have to keep the conversations very long. You can keep them brief. Then wish them a fun night and you'll see them around. And move on to the next people. As you gain more social momentum and feel more comfortable in the venue, you can do more bold stuff like flirting and approaching hotter girls. Key is not judging who you approach. At least not in the beginning of the night when you are getting yourself into the mood of the night.

@Buck Edwards But I agree with the points you made. I knew from very early on in my life that I will be a leader of some sort and a big influencer to the world. I realized in the previous years of my life that it's probably due to the fact that I got that personality type lol (ENFJ). I got into spirituality when I was 17. I was deeply inspired by Osho. He was my first spiritual teacher. Wanted to become a leader like him in a physical community at my peak. If it wasn't for Leo's teachings grounding me in reality the previous few years, I would have probably fallen deep into that fantasy - completely ignoring the whole notion of spiritual by-passing. One of the strengths and weaknesses of ENFJ is deep empathy. I want to help people so much that I can easily fall into fantasies of how I'm gonna help the world and then convince myself of how much easier and simpler it is vs actuality (ignoring spiritual by-passing & the importance of burning through karma). But as of now at 29, the fantasy of leading a physical spiritual community doesn't seem compelling at all anymore. And your post put into words very well why. --- I'm taking this opportunity to write some side thoughts about me to clarify my own thoughts for myself (ENFJ coming active, bear with me - skip if you don't care): I think my path is going to be Owen Cook type of work (healthy human-level self-development work) when I am still young but I will probably eventually Actually grow into Leo's type of more advanced trans-human work, sooner or later - rather than stay stuck like Owen. At least I like to think that I won't fall and get stuck into the trap Owen has fallen into but who knows. I haven't done any psychedelics yet in my life. Will start experimenting with them once I am financially free or at least almost free. I am also relatively a very good freestyle dancer with my own very unique dance style so I want to incorporate that art somehow into my work. Content creation is really the only idea I have atm (example: https://www.instagram.com/miguetran/reel/CygMx_etst5/ ). Maybe I can research about dance therapy and see if it is worth pursuing and teaching. But yeah, as of right now, leading a physical spiritual community doesn't sound compelling at all. Actually, sounds like a terrible idea.

Sorry I am just focusing on this part - but I gotta inquire: Am I just imagining or do we have a lot of autistic people here on the forum? I think I see people mentioning that they are autistic fairly often here. @Buck Edwards Are you autistic anymore?

Analyze this thread for starters. There's a lot of valuable insight from multiple angles. Not only is it a LIVE action experience from the perspective of a person who had it rough at the beginning of the night but was able to turn it around to a fun, good night - but also me and others gave practical advice there:

Very good. People are lots of fun. If you know how to have fun yourself and inspire that fun out of others. Also, don't worry too much about the 10s for now. That is putting the cart before the horse. And finally, girls tend to become more attractive as you get to know them and get attracted to their feminine energy and personalities. You can judge a girl all you want with ''she's ugly etc.'' But once she makes you feel good, positive, manly, and grounded, you'll see her differently. And your state matters probably the most. If you are in fear, you see fear and negativity everywhere. If you are in fun, you see fun and positivity everywhere. So if you are in fear, your mind will judge and find excuses why x girl is not approachable (not attractive enough etc.) as a defense mechanism. On the contrary, if you are in a fun and positive state, your mind will focus on all the positive qualities in girls and so, you will see them as more attractive. Ultimately it goes full circle like this: in a positive, uplifting fun state, less good-looking girls become more good-looking and the really hot girls become less hot and intimidating. Everything will start feeling like a play. A playful, fun, non-judgemental group flirt. One big incest family, called the nightclub. ---- Anyway, keep going. Take the small wins. TAKE THEM. And be patient and don't set STUPID unrealistic expectations. You are not going to be a master at this now just because you had a one good night. And keep the macro momentum going. Long breaks will fuck you up again.

This. Very good post.

My comment was a sarcastic remark directed towards the comment you responded to: ”Some women say they want a man who is willing to be vulnerable with them. But when such a guy does this, they leave him and go to a masculine man who will abuse the shit out of them.” I used an iPhone emoji indicating sarcasm at the end of that sentence, so maybe that didn’t show up.

Lol. I’ve been in 4 long-term relationships. I didnt know I abused the shit out of them 🤷🏼‍♀️ —- @r0ckyreed Your OP is full of excuses and defense mechanisms to avoid growing yourself as a man. Ironic when all this crap comes from that profile picture. Seems to be just a compensation. ”I know what I want. I want an assertive woman who knows what she wants and who doesn’t conform to the BS social norms and tradition of men always having to make the first move.” No, you’re just too scared to be a man and approach the damn feminine girl. Go out there and approach a 1000 girls. Then most of this bitching will be gone. And you’ll actually learn to enjoy the game.