Miguel1

I wonder if he would have ever wisen up, had he not been cancelled. But then again, he was bound to be cancelled.

Damn. I guess because of my naive youth, I'm now doomed But now I have been in a relationship for almost 4 years! Can I be forgiven for my past sins?

Side note: did you skip sleep last night @Leo Gura or is it Alien A.I Leo writing all these answers?

If you go see his Instagram stories now, he is literally talking about how he was struggling with blood pressure that could have killed him (185), a month ago due to overworking. And that he has been been trying everything to normalize his blood pressure.

I see. So you contribute all that mostly to your looks? Based on this post, your charisma is probably not the best?

What are the ways you’ve gotten lots of sex, if not through pickup?

Yes, of course. That’s why I mentioned that these are more advanced stuff. The goal was just to show him that he doesn’t need to overthink. Just a simple ”heyooo, what’s up guys” or ”Heyy, you look very lovely!” - both with a smile works fine

This is something you gotta develop on your own. We all have our own styles that fits our personality. But the key is to get their attention in a positive manner. As a dancer, I sometimes go up to them and twerk my ass and shake my tits to them and give them the look. Sometimes I might even pull out my nipple to show them, if I have a shirt with an open neck. The look is the key. Sometimes I growl at them without saying anything and give them the look. Sometimes I meow at them. Sometimes I'm just ''OOOOOOOOOOOOOH MY GODD!!!'' with my whole body language as well. And they're ''WHat?!'' and I'm: ''Nothing. What's up?'' with a straight face. Sometimes I might sing happy birthday..................... TO ME.................... in 3 months. Sometimes I yell at them ''BALLS!'' Sometimes I tell them that I love them and want to get married to them Sometimes I tell them that they look like dragons A girl I approached a while ago was clearly a gym-girl. I opened her with saying ''you look like you would beat the shit out of me and throw me around in bed to the walls, and fuck me in the ass with a strap-on''. She was dying of laughter from that. It doesn't really matter. As long as you are having fun with them. But I am very congruent in doing these. And the key is that I am self-amusing myself while doing this. I do it cuz I find it hilarious more so than that I want them to open. But tbh, these are all more advanced shit. I am saying these just to show you that it's not that serious. ---- For you, you can start practicing with just '''heey, whats up guys?'' with a smile. Since it is kinda boring open, you gotta carry the conversation with follow-up comments / statements / observations / questions until they are more invested. Another one is ''heeey, you guys look very lovely!'' When it comes to follow-up questions, a good rule of thumb is: question-answer-tease. Ideally you don't ask 2 questions in a row. NEVER 3. Tease them about their answer. This way it doesn't turn interviewy. Some simple follow-ups: ''Have you guys had a fun night?'' ''Where are you from'' / ''you look Chinese / x'' ''You seem like x'' Use your common sense and come up with some stuff to say. Have fun with it. This is not tedious work. --- Ultimately, what you need to do is just get used to approaching people in general. All of these shit won't be in your conscious memory when you are actually there conversing with people. Get used to doing bunch of brief, short approaches first and then we can work on other next-step stuff. On a final note, as a beginner, you don't really have to be in a club for more than 1-2 hours per night. If you are there for 4+ hours, it can become very overwhelming which can discourage you a lot. Start slow and slowly build it up.

I have been out solo probably 300 nights at least. There's nothing weird about it. If someone asks, own it. ''Who are you here with?'' ''Im here alone. I love meeting new people and my friends didn't wanna come out tonight. So I thought I'd rather come out to socialize than cry myself to sleep '' Other than that, start just chatting people, small-talk with people, you don't have to keep the conversations very long. You can keep them brief. Then wish them a fun night and you'll see them around. And move on to the next people. As you gain more social momentum and feel more comfortable in the venue, you can do more bold stuff like flirting and approaching hotter girls. Key is not judging who you approach. At least not in the beginning of the night when you are getting yourself into the mood of the night.

@Buck Edwards But I agree with the points you made. I knew from very early on in my life that I will be a leader of some sort and a big influencer to the world. I realized in the previous years of my life that it's probably due to the fact that I got that personality type lol (ENFJ). I got into spirituality when I was 17. I was deeply inspired by Osho. He was my first spiritual teacher. Wanted to become a leader like him in a physical community at my peak. If it wasn't for Leo's teachings grounding me in reality the previous few years, I would have probably fallen deep into that fantasy - completely ignoring the whole notion of spiritual by-passing. One of the strengths and weaknesses of ENFJ is deep empathy. I want to help people so much that I can easily fall into fantasies of how I'm gonna help the world and then convince myself of how much easier and simpler it is vs actuality (ignoring spiritual by-passing & the importance of burning through karma). But as of now at 29, the fantasy of leading a physical spiritual community doesn't seem compelling at all anymore. And your post put into words very well why. --- I'm taking this opportunity to write some side thoughts about me to clarify my own thoughts for myself (ENFJ coming active, bear with me - skip if you don't care): I think my path is going to be Owen Cook type of work (healthy human-level self-development work) when I am still young but I will probably eventually Actually grow into Leo's type of more advanced trans-human work, sooner or later - rather than stay stuck like Owen. At least I like to think that I won't fall and get stuck into the trap Owen has fallen into but who knows. I haven't done any psychedelics yet in my life. Will start experimenting with them once I am financially free or at least almost free. I am also relatively a very good freestyle dancer with my own very unique dance style so I want to incorporate that art somehow into my work. Content creation is really the only idea I have atm (example: https://www.instagram.com/miguetran/reel/CygMx_etst5/ ). Maybe I can research about dance therapy and see if it is worth pursuing and teaching. But yeah, as of right now, leading a physical spiritual community doesn't sound compelling at all. Actually, sounds like a terrible idea.

Sorry I am just focusing on this part - but I gotta inquire: Am I just imagining or do we have a lot of autistic people here on the forum? I think I see people mentioning that they are autistic fairly often here. @Buck Edwards Are you autistic anymore?

Analyze this thread for starters. There's a lot of valuable insight from multiple angles. Not only is it a LIVE action experience from the perspective of a person who had it rough at the beginning of the night but was able to turn it around to a fun, good night - but also me and others gave practical advice there:

Very good. People are lots of fun. If you know how to have fun yourself and inspire that fun out of others. Also, don't worry too much about the 10s for now. That is putting the cart before the horse. And finally, girls tend to become more attractive as you get to know them and get attracted to their feminine energy and personalities. You can judge a girl all you want with ''she's ugly etc.'' But once she makes you feel good, positive, manly, and grounded, you'll see her differently. And your state matters probably the most. If you are in fear, you see fear and negativity everywhere. If you are in fun, you see fun and positivity everywhere. So if you are in fear, your mind will judge and find excuses why x girl is not approachable (not attractive enough etc.) as a defense mechanism. On the contrary, if you are in a fun and positive state, your mind will focus on all the positive qualities in girls and so, you will see them as more attractive. Ultimately it goes full circle like this: in a positive, uplifting fun state, less good-looking girls become more good-looking and the really hot girls become less hot and intimidating. Everything will start feeling like a play. A playful, fun, non-judgemental group flirt. One big incest family, called the nightclub. ---- Anyway, keep going. Take the small wins. TAKE THEM. And be patient and don't set STUPID unrealistic expectations. You are not going to be a master at this now just because you had a one good night. And keep the macro momentum going. Long breaks will fuck you up again.

My comment was a sarcastic remark directed towards the comment you responded to: ”Some women say they want a man who is willing to be vulnerable with them. But when such a guy does this, they leave him and go to a masculine man who will abuse the shit out of them.” I used an iPhone emoji indicating sarcasm at the end of that sentence, so maybe that didn’t show up.

Lol. I’ve been in 4 long-term relationships. I didnt know I abused the shit out of them 🤷🏼‍♀️ —- @r0ckyreed Your OP is full of excuses and defense mechanisms to avoid growing yourself as a man. Ironic when all this crap comes from that profile picture. Seems to be just a compensation. ”I know what I want. I want an assertive woman who knows what she wants and who doesn’t conform to the BS social norms and tradition of men always having to make the first move.” No, you’re just too scared to be a man and approach the damn feminine girl. Go out there and approach a 1000 girls. Then most of this bitching will be gone. And you’ll actually learn to enjoy the game.

Amazing job. Keep going. Take all the small wins to get into action taking momentum. Try not to discriminate who to talk to. It can be guy, girl, old, young, ugly, good looking - doesnt matter. Just get yourself into a momentum of socializing with people in general. Be a fun, social guy. Not a creepy hawk. As you get more into that social and fun mood, then you can be more picky as to who to approach. But be careful that you fall back into judgmental mode of who to approach and fall back into excuse making momentum again. Especially as a newbie. —- Here’s a technique for you to ease off your fear of approaching and fear in the club in general: Count from 15 to 0 and by the time you hit 0, approach someone. Doesnt matter who. —- Finally, Oh god dammit this real time reporting reminds me of my early days over 10 years ago. Getting that world war 2 flashbacks lol. I guarantee if you stick to this and keep going out and learn the skill with patience, you’ll learn to have a ton of fun going out and you’ll learn to be very charismatic. My nights out nowadays are almost like straight from movies. It’s a whole trip. And oh yeah, girls dont give a fuck if you are ten years older than them. As long as you dont make it weird.

Leo’s ”lower” vibe reminds me of when I start detaching myself from a situation / project / x. When I no longer try. Or at least try that hard. When I no longer am invested. Or at least that invested anymore. In his case, it seems like he has come to more acceptance about people’s changing behavior. I mean he no longer tries nearly as hard to get people to understand something. And to change. He is no longer nearly as invested. He doesn’t care nearly as much anymore. Much more acceptance about people’s nature. You could perhaps say this healthier version of Yellow. Or deeply integrated yellow. This results in much less HOT / CHILI PEPPER passion in vibe but much more maturity in behavior. I recognize this shift because I’ve had to do it a lot in my own passions and life as well. Being an extroverted ENFJ, I deal with people a lot, have too much empathy and love to help people way too much. But have had to come to painful acceptances.

Alright. Personally, I find his clothing style in his videos mostly as playful & a little bit of color to the landscape, rather than over-dressing. But maybe I am biased, since he has, as you have too, deeply changed my life too many times. I don't myself dress like him. I dress more classy with street mixed. Classy Streetwear is properly the right term. But yeah, I wouldn't look at Owen weird in his clothes. Perhaps I am just too used to his clothing style from the countless hours I've watched him lol. Sometimes he uses bomber jackets but I don't think they are over-dressing either. At least not the one he uses. But I grew up in the hip-hop dance community, so these street clothes were the shit for me and I will always have a sweet spot for them, even if I have now kinda grown out of them.

I see. Nice viewpoint / angle to look at his style / game. Ironic because he is all about being playful, letting go, letting loose, fooling around and not supplicating & qualifying himself. But at the same time, if you truly don't care, why not sometimes or even more regularly dress however the hell you want, for fun, for your own amusement, as you do too Leo. But I don't hang out with Owen. I don't know his dressing style really, how often he over-dresss etc.

From what I understand, he is deliberately trying to put himself into a category of one by niching himself down as much as possible. So it will look weird for a bunch of people but a percentage will love it. Because he knows he cannot compete on looks. He cannot compete with the ''normies'' who optimize looks & dressing according to the beauty standards. He has no chance of competing with the Apple Watch, so he markets himself as the ''Rolex''. Bonus: when he doesn't come across as this normie well-dressed ''high-value man'', girls don't react to him in a typical manner either. In this way, he immediately disqualifies himself as boyfriend material and sets himself as the fun-lover frame, which is ideal for both getting quick sex, and also developing a relationship afterwards.

Second this. Anyways it develops your character the most. And having the skills to make friends with complete strangers anywhere you go is a very valuable skills to have.

I understand how you feel. I used to be very similar. I tried very hard. I tried 3 months of purely meditation and limited human contact. But eventually I had to come back. I then just came to accept it as necessity part of the adventure of human life, which includes the need for food, sleep etc. as well. I’m sure there are a rare few who can actually skip or limit socialization very much. But I would also argue that some people who supposedly ”dont need socialization at all / need just a bit”, are just very unskilled at it and it’s easier to accept it than go through the pain of learning the skill. And the same case was with me. I had periods where I was very against socialization but looking back, mostly it was simply because I didn’t know how to have fun, be charismatic and make friends. And so, perhaps if you also had a ton of fun (it’s a skill to let go of our seriousness, and tap into the fooling around part of ourselves - especially since we are so serious and logical on actualized), while socializing - maybe you would also enjoy it much more 😊

Sure, of course. Feel free to talk with me privately if talking here feels too public.

You need to take the pressure off of you by approaching everyone in general. Don't be so judgemental as to who you are approaching. Approach the guys and the girls you don't find sexually attractive as well. Just be social and nice to them. This will build good social flow and momentum with which it is much easier to then go approach the girls you find attractive and want to have a more sexual interaction with.

It's a matter of balance and finding the sweet spot. Being spoiled also stunts development.