Miguel1

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Posts posted by Miguel1

  1. Posted

    17 minutes ago, Terell Kirby said:

    I had to reframe my extroversion as something that makes me unique. It’s not endless nonsensical chatter that excites me the most- it’s the ability as a natural extrovert to express myself most powerfully through words and exchange with other minds.

    I choose socialization as my primary medium for this- but doesn’t always have to be the case. Just so happens that socializing is often hijacked for nefarious and unconscious purposes- but there is such a thing as a rich exchange of emotional expression through verbalizing. 

    That is beautifully reframed, thank you.

    I will contemplate it.

  2. Posted

    2 minutes ago, UnbornTao said:

    God, you're doing the same shit. Okay.

    And what are you doing?

    Honestly, I am considering just straight up putting you into the mute list, if that is allowed.

    If it’s okay for you, please let this go. You already said what you needed to say, me too.

  4. Posted

    12 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

    Have you ever actually tried being completely authentic? Doesn't sound like it.

    Authentic here? Or authentic socializing?

    Here I am being 100% authentic.

    100% authentic with normies is a social suicide, as leo made a blogpost about recently.

    I try to be as authentic as possible but there is no way I can be 100% authentic. Perhaps 75-85% max.

  6. Posted

    @UnbornTao Again, I am not sure what is the problem.

    The idea of this forum is to live, learn and share experiences and lessons, and to discuss them.

    This is what I am struggling with at the moment and I am being vulnerable here with you guys, just for you to come play smartass with me.

    It’s alright, we do not need to continue our discussion. Thanks for your input.

  8. Posted · Edited by Miguel1

    This week I bumped into a new word: ”intellectual intimacy”.

    For me, that’s what I have always longed for in relationships. It’s extremely hard for me to be happy in a relationship, if we only explore physical and emotional intimacy, but not intellectual / mind intimacy, where two minds meet and explore together.

    It feels lacking, shallow and fairly lonely, if there is not the last layer.

    And we don’t need to agree on everything. Simply the openmindedness, the ability to think nuances and big picture, the ability to be in touch with Spirituality and discuss it.

    The more I mature, the more it feels like a prerequisite.

  10. Posted

    23 minutes ago, UnbornTao said:

    No.

    I don’t remember you being this hard to talk with, just about a year ago. I wonder what shifted in you.

    Anyway, I don’t think I ever expressed that I am somehow holier than socializing. On the other than, I have said multiple times that I need socializing and intimacy.

  11. Posted

    34 minutes ago, Human Mint said:

    I am planning my next social phase contrary to you. My biggest spiritual pursuit was after being socially depleted. Now I've run out of gas. I need those social shenanigans.

    Also I am currently working a lot in my career, so I've had to put aside a lot of the social aspect.

    It seems go to in phases. I worked a lot in the winter, got tired and had to take a break. Started socializing a ton and now I am getting tired of all the social shenanigans.

    Perhaps I will take some time to do spiritual work, before getting back to work.

  12. Posted

    4 minutes ago, Valach said:

    So that is kind of the PUA (and to large degree the mainstream stage orange society) paradigm. There is nothing wrong with that. But that is why I was pointing out that it is limited. By any means go through the journey and exhaust it. I have just found it quite limiting and not fullfilling at all. 

    I appreciate that in you.

    And yes, sounds like Ulax needs to do that and exhaust it out of his system. I remember at my peak, doing it so much that it turned repetitive, boring and mechnical to the point I wasn’t even feeling her sexually anymore, as it was just ”work” for me.

  13. Posted · Edited by Miguel1

    7 minutes ago, Ulax said:

    I get you will have based that answer on experience. So i value what you say.

    But I would struggle with how actionable that sequence is.

    Yes, at the same time, as you said, you have Todd’s program but not my suggested style’s program. So perhap’s that’s why.

    But perhaps it’s simply because people are wired differently. I would be lying if I said that one approach works best for everyone.

    As a way to measure how efficient your approach is, how much are you going out / approaching girls, and what are your results in terms of getting dates and sex?

  14. Posted

    20 minutes ago, WonderSeeker said:

    I follow you on IG and you seem to have a solid social life. You look happy.

    Is the happiness short-lived or fake, and that's why you want to align with something more true to you? Just curious 

    Honestly I am very aligned as far as career goes. Moved halfway around the world and am enjoying the slow process of soaking up new cultures.

    Of course, there are some areas I'd like to work on. For one, getting back to home-cooked meals and eating whole foods. Also working out and taking care of other health things.

    But otherwise the path I'm on is better than I expected 3 years ago. There's a lot of potential. Going to make a bigger post about it at some point 

    Great to hear, thanks for sharing!

  15. Posted · Edited by Miguel1

    20 minutes ago, WonderSeeker said:

    I follow you on IG and you seem to have a solid social life. You look happy.

    Is the happiness short-lived or fake, and that's why you want to align with something more true to you? Just curious 

    I have a bunch of friends, lots of them girls, they give me a ton of social proof.

    But to manage all of that requires a lot of manuevering and mind games.

    I am not deep down happy because it goes against my highest values, which is honesty, truth, integrity.

    So yes, the happiness is short-lived. It’s fun for a while but not deeply fulfilling. Also, I can’t see it being sustainable, so it feels like a whole lotta waste of time. I will lose / let go of this social circle that I have built sooner or later. And sooner than later, as my focus is on way higher things than playing social games.

  16. Posted

    20 minutes ago, Wilhelm44 said:

    The point was simply this: The closer one gets to being completely okay with it happening or not happening, the easier it becomes for life/love to bring as that so called unicorn moment. 

    I agree. But at the same time it is not easy to be completely okay with something that is like a basic need.

    It’s almost like saying: ”as long as you are okay with not having any money, then money will come!”

  17. Posted

    16 minutes ago, Ulax said:

    However,  I would point out that you have seemingly had a lot of positive results with pickup and women. And essentially you are the high-value guy that game tries to get girls to perceive newbies as. So you naturally convey high-value. Therefore, you don't need to rely on consciously setting high-value frames and can therefore afford not to focus on technicals to set frames. Whereas for a newbie or game-struggler they are, at least in game terms, a low-value guy and therefore convey low-value to girls. So, they need to consciously focus on setting high-value frames. This also applies to intermediates who struggle with various categories of women or struggle to get the quality of interaction they want.

    I deeply appreciate how respectful and mature your approach to the conversations here is.

    My counter-argument to what you said however is, that there is a way better way to do all that: be social with people, let loose and have fun, generate social proof, get in state, escalate, lead and close.

    These I believe are way more fundamental than focusing on lines and techniques, especially as a beginner.

  18. Posted · Edited by Miguel1

    32 minutes ago, Ulax said:

    I respect your experience and results with pick up, so i will respect it is very possible there is something I am missing.

    But I watched a Todd V video which said that it doesn't work to communicate interest via those ways. So, it seems you two are in disagreement.

    Todd is a head first person.

    Watch some of the more natural styles like Owen. He can show full intent with words, while his presence communicates non-attachment.

    That being said, I don’t want to bash Todd. I’ve gotten a lot of value from him. But I would say his style works very well for people who are already naturally charming. Some great lines and techniques will just heavily highlight their charm and attractiveness.

    But most people getting into game, does so because they are not charming to begin with. Lines and techniques will get them stuck in their heads like no other. I know a few Todd students, and their game is awful.

  20. Posted

    2 minutes ago, Wilhelm44 said:

    I could be wrong, but I think if there was a recipe for this whole thing, it seems like the closer we can get that number to a 10, and just lose ourselves in life for a while without even thinking about any of this, the more fertile the ground becomes for love to surprise us, seemingly out of nowhere.

    And as I said earlier, this is based on purely wishful thinking. Lots of people live like this and find no one.

    As a naturally ambitious and extroverted person, I like to be proactive and take actions towards what I want.

  22. Posted

    2 minutes ago, Valach said:

    What you do not realise that this type of thinking is exactly coming from a place where you are putting her above her and thus you think you need to control your behaviour in some ways.

    Yes, good point.

    Todd V has some great technical stuff, but it often sacrifices your inner game, as you become too try-hard internally, even when you don’t show it outwards. And the fact that you have to also manage not showing it externally, fucks your inner game even more.

    The more I mature, the more I like to just go direct, while my body communicates ”interested but you gotta have way more than just looks”.

  25. Posted · Edited by Miguel1

    29 minutes ago, Ulax said:

    BUT showing interest alone (assuming this is what you are saying) gives SO MUCH power away as a dude. She is fully validated by you, and it sets the frame that you are the one chasing her and that she is the person of higher value in the interaction. I much prefer Todd V's interested but not sold frame. She won the job interview but now she needs to meet your standards. Gives less power away, more natural leads into evaluation, communicates better social proof, gives her a better experience (you were sold on her looks AND personality, not just her looks)

    Ideally this is done with your presence, eye contact, tone of voice and body language.

    Playing these word games can get yourself too heavily in your head.