Miguel1

@Jirh You are going at it with backwards mindset. It’s not that they owe you anything. It’s that you WANT them to align deeply with you.

Real authenticity cannot be performative, by definition. You can perform authenticity, but that’s fake.

@Jirh Friends you can have multiple. A life partner you can have one, and the goal is to have them with you until death.

Taking things slow

@Natasha Tori Maru I am not talking about commitment yet, hence the thread title. Simply the getting to know each other phase. Do you want to get to know 5 people at once? Or just one?

You can def go WAY deeper than what is the norm. And especially than what is pushed in PUA. Last evening I had a first date with a girl for 5 hours. I got quite a strong sense of what she is about. But she is way more self-aware than a typical person, otherwise it would not have been possible. Otherwise I would not have gone on a date with her. This whole notion of having to take things very slow, and keep it light and playful in the beginning is a total conformity. And a total waste of time.

Because you are playing around and taking it too lightly. Find out about her soul in the first few dates and it won’t have to take so long.

Instead of Frame Controlling, you should have a Strong Frame. It’s very different. The former is try-hard, the latter is strenght.

The other way of saying this is: Play to win, not to not lose.

I’m sick of hearing this social circle strategy as being the solution to all dating problems. It is not. Nor do many people have interest in wasting so much time and energy on it. Also, for introverts it ill be much trickier.

Yet, you need to spend enormous amount of time on social circle to find such a simple thing. Just take the girl on a date, you will find out immediately. You also talk like social circle doesn’t have limits. It’s not like you can date through everyone in the circle. 1 girl in a circle at once, max.

No. You don’t need to waste endless time on social circle, if you know what you are doing. You can find all that out and more in 1-2 dates, if you don’t fuck around playing pua social circle games.

Everything you did today was very good for starters. But remember there are further steps you need to master like making her chase for your validation, going on insta dates, leading and closing — otherwise these convos will go nowhere and the numbers will remain very weak.

Agree. This is very important. If you can pull this off in a non-needy way, most of ur work is done after the initial approach and hooking.

I think if I spend 3 dates with a girl, it’s time to drop everyone else and just focus on her. Otherwise you are doing something seriously wrong.