Miguel1

@Natasha Tori Maru It’s not that I think you are not coming in good faith. The issue is that since we don’t align in the fundamentals when it comes to this matter, asking such vague question like ”do you trust yourself?” just makes things more confusing. Do I come across as someone who has zero trust in himself?

Owen hasn’t been outside the US in decades. He cannot leave for legal reasons.

Yes, when you are young, then it’s alright and even recommended to fuck around and find out. But as you age and mature, you are no longer interested in that, and want to get straight to the point as soon as possible.

Where do you want to lead with this question? Of course I trust myself to a degree and in certain things. Nobody trusts themselves 100% of the time in everything.

Owen outside of US? That’s a first.

MATCHA. Help.

@Lyubov Lots of narcissists and people with more serious mental issues, that are good at hiding them and may not even know themselves, unless you know what you are doing.

Of course there is no guarantees in life but if you marry a psychopath, then you are just dumb. Likewise, if you marry a lier, an unconscious immature person, someone who hasn’t faced themselves and cannot be vulnerable, then you cannot expect too much.

@Natasha Tori Maru Yes, there is a clear disagreement between us. Either it is misunderstanding or real, but we definitely don’t see eye to eye right now. Relationships at my age is no children’s game. I could fuck around and find out in my 20s but right now it needs to be pretty strong from the get go for it to be worth investing in it.

@Lyubov Of course all of those are done. That’s a given. What it leads to is this thread. We are talking in circles.

The issue is I care about wasting time with the wrong person. Whenever I am in a relationship, I care deeply about the person, and so naturally I invest a ton of time and energy into it. If the person then ends up cheating or breaking up for some silly reason, because they ”fell out of fantasy / love”, it is a huge waste. I have become very strongly allergic to wasting my time in relationships, as I’ve done it so many times. I’ve learned many lessons don’t get me wrong (and very appreciative) but this is definitely one of the big ones. Besides, if you want babies, you do have a time limit. Even for men — and the worst part is that you cannot really afford to have kids with the wrong person, as it will ruin your and the baby’s life.

The dating space lacks integrity, honesty and vulnerability so badly that I am considering going back to my peak PUA phase and just spinning 10 girls for my own needs, treating them all as such: good for little bit of fun and intimacy but that’s it. Especially now as I feel like I have properly moved on from my ex partner, and no longer have that same longing for a partner. Ideally I would find one girl to build a healthy and sustainable relationship with for the rest of my life here on Earth. But how the fuck?

@Natasha Tori Maru Are you looking to date seriously? If yes, how do you go about it, making sure it actually is healthy and sustainable, and based on truth and honesty as early as possible? How do you make sure you don’t waste a ton of time with the wrong person?

Hip hop dance and dance battles

@MarkKol You miss the point completely. The point is that 99%+ people havent done the work, and are stuck in their survival ego, thus are not capable of real intimacy, vulnerability and love — but just uses the other for their own unconscious survival agendas, whether it is something gross like financial or someting sublte like trauma.