So for the past month, I have been socializing more, as spring got me more into a social mood.
But gosh, all the social and human games are truly tiring. If you value honesty and truth, this is a nightmare.
To be good socially, you almost have to let go of all your higher cognitive and spiritual development and turn primtive. The more primitive, the better (without breaking any laws).
For example, never ever have any meaningful, logical conversations. Not with girls nor guys. This will not end in anything good.
Always focus on bumping emotional state of people. This is key. The only issue is that, in order to bump the emotional state of others, you have to get more in touch of that part of your brain, yourself. Which is fun for a while, but tiring long-term as it is the less developed part of our brain.
Don’t treat people with full-on love and empathy. Seduce them, make them chase for your validation, be somewhat mean and distant etc. This has become dramatically more harder for me as my empathy has increased. I just want to treat people like they are a part of me.
People are so unconscious, that they are very gullible. As long as you seem confident and authoritative, they will trust you, and follow your lead to hell. Most people lack critical thinking, which is completely backwards and against everything we value here. And my whole being screams to encourage them to think for themselves, to stand up for yourself! But if I ever did that, all the social results I would have built up to that point with the person, would disappear into thin air. Being a mindless zombie is an addiction.
And did I mention the exhaustion from sleep being destroyed?
Socializing is almost like a 9-5 job that you do out of necessity. You have to confine yourself into a much smaller version of who you really are.
That being said, the other side of socializing is that you can also expand yourself:
Especially in nightlife, you oftentimes can really just go wild and say and scream almost anything, as long as it comes across congruent, confident and in a playful manner. Such is the nature of bumping states.
I guess I just wanted to share some of my thoughts from socializing the past month. It’s been lots of fun, but also very tiring as I have to go against a lot of the things that I value. Relationships with people in these scenes are not built on truth and honesty, but short-term bumped up states, seduction and lies.
How sustainable can that be? And more importantly, how tiring is it to keep on maintaining the falsehood, as someone who values truth?
I feel like for an ENF(J), it is harder than for an ENF(P), as I am very structured and future-orientated. Especially as I mature more.
Being good socially requires you to be chaotic and short-term focused.
My mind requires and looks for meaning to almost anything I do. If there is no long-term potential, then my mind naturally asks:
What is the point?
But don’t get me wrong, there is value to having fun in the moment. My mind is just not wired for it as much as other minds are.
My more mature ENFJ mind also seeks social harmony. I would just love to make everyone feel good and at peace, and shower everyone with warmth, compassion, empathy and love — but all these would be immediately punished. It’s awful.
It’s truly a wild jungle out there. Instead of men physically fighting over girls, we fight emotionally. We are not much different to animals.
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