Miguel1

I did not say that. I have to go to sleep now but I’ll get back more in-depth tomorrow.

Pick up is fucking hard to get good at if you are not a natural at it. Try focusing on one thing to improve at, at a time, before moving to the next. For you, focus on becoming good at opening sets. It’s the most awkward phase of the interaction. Once you get good at that, the rest will be easy. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, as that will make you rigid and nervous.

Definitely not best from the standpoint of maximizing their stage orange desires (or even green for that matter), and definitely not for their desire to run away from themselves. Quite the opposite actually. And yes, you are correct. There is a word for it: it is called spiritual by-passing. I am very well aware of it, and this is not the issue for me here. Think: why does Leo not date (based on last public information)? Why doesn’t the most developed beings date?

Advanced, academic-sounding language.

We talked on the phone about this a while back. Back then I was going at this problem more from the Spiral Dynamics angle. Yes, a stage green girl with a little bit of yellow is ideal -- but as important, if not more important (which we didn't really discuss), is: have they faced themselves? Have they healed their traumas? Have they integrated their shadows and repressions? Are they in touch with themselves? Do they value honesty, truth, self-reflection and personal growth? Are they capable of being vulnerable? The Teal's work to the Leo's work. The Yin to the Yan. Both are needed to a great degree. No need to be perfect as such a thing doesn't exist. But a great level needs to be achieved.

People date for years, sometimes even 10+ years and still don't know each other, and what's even more crazy: oftentimes they are STILL not sure about each other as the partner they want for life! Naftali's philosophy is this: You cannot afford to date 5 years and not know if they are your partner for life. In a few months you should know! And it's possibly only via truthful, honest and vulnerable conversations. Most people are afraid of people who have done the deep inner work, shadow work, inner facing work, because the more integrated a person is, the more of a mirror they will become. And! Only a person who values personal growth, will 1. do the work, and 2. be able to actually APPRECAITE and be attracted (rather than scared and repulsed by) to people who have done the work. And! Only these people are Actually able to sit down on the first date, and be completely open, vulnerable and honest. I believe this is what @Emerald pushes here, and we get in conflict with her because we are still thinking in the domain of PUA.

Guys, think of it like this: If me and you are going to build a sustainable and healthy relationship for the rest of our lives. What do we need to know about each other? And more importantly, what do we need to know about OURSELVES? And how are we supposed to find those out, if we don't deep dive into each other's minds? - - - - - Life is truly mysterious. I have been struggling with this ever since I broke up from my 5 year relatioship, almost a year ago. I took a long break for me to heal myself, but went on a few dates here and there during this healing process, and now in the past few months of the late spring and the whole of summer, I went on dates more actively. And, I was struggling with this issue all along. I couldn't properly put things into word. I tried to find answers here on the forum, but got a lot of shit thrown at me for me "being holier than thou". And then! Naftali appears! And now i don't feel like I am going fucking mad by myself anymore. There are others struggling with this! My God! I can't believe it. I believe Leo struggles with this too, he is just not as interested in it as I am, for we have almost opposite personality types.

I took it down a while back as I started to feel too misaligned with what I was coaching people on. It was too orange and short-term results orientated. Right now I am in a transitioning phase. I need my work to become much more integrous, integrated and aligned -- yet somehow in a way that still reaches people, as I need it to generate money as well. I believe I am going to transition into some sort of a mix of Naftali Moses' work, dance therapy, basic social skills and little bit of Teal Swan + Actualized.org. But it has to remain practical, so it will remain within the human relationship niche.

I have been studying Naftali Moses’ work the past few months here and there so I haven’t come into full conclusion about his work. But it seems very good. One of the reasons I share his work here is also to see if there’s blindspots I have missed. I will most likely share his work more here coming up. The guy was like 24-25 years old in this podcast and currently like 26-27, and the maturity, vulnerability and honesty he expresses is at least of someone 10 years older than him. He is by no means perfect though, so don’t get the wrong impression. Just very impressive for his age. He had exceptional parents (not sure how conscuous), and pulled him out of Jewish school at the age of 8, because they knew it was wrong and solely conformity and group-think. He was home schooled and allowed to study whatever his heart wanted to, and it lead to psychology from a very early age. Funnily enough, he does also have a background in PUA when he was younger. But he quickly saw through it and moved on to higher level dating. Currently, he works as a coach to help his clients face their inner demons, shadows and weakneses, so they can built something based on strenght, honesty and realness. https://youtube.com/@naftalimoses

This right here is how a mature, sustainable relationship that is healthy and based on honesty is built. How many of you are capapble of such level dating of dating? How many of you can actually be this honest and vulnerable? How many of you are actually aware of the level of manipulation and projection you do when dating? I can tell from my experience of dating like this for the past 6 months: painful as fuck. Not a single girl is willing to be Nearly this open, honest and vulnerable. And I go on many dates. All the PUA dating advices we talk here come nowhere close to what real dating is. PUA is children’s game, albeit a practical one as men are so lonely it is better to get short term intimacy (that often leads to hurting the girl), than nothing. But this right here is the real adult, mature dating. If Leo were to make a guide on dating based on truth, it would probably resemble this a lot. And so, I would like to hear all the adults of the community commenting on this. @Emerald @Leo Gura @Natasha Tori Maru and others. I wonder how far away we are from this kind of dating? Probably 50 years at least. My dating ”results” is basically 0 because I try to practice this level of honesty and vulnerability as much as possible. Sometimes I get frustrated, put on my dark game, and pull a girl almost instantly. It is shockening and heartbreaking to know how unconscious humanity is. I am writing this in a hurry, will check errors and typos later.

Of course comfort and safety is important, just not as important as attraction and strenght. And comfort and safety most of the time destroys attraction.

1-3 close ones including my significant other, then a few not too close. I have like 50 friends I go only to play football with but I don’t count them as friends.

Why are you making fun of my past

False. Confidence and entitlement itself will get your foot in the door, if you know what you are doing.

Confidence, entitlement, ability to create tension and hold it, emotional conversational skills, ability to make her chase you are more important. But you are right, it is way easier to behave cocky, entitled and better than her, when you are good looking.