Miguel1

You will learn that on this forum, never ever hit submit before you have copied your writing

Correct. What society shows us about relationship is absolutely terrible. Most of us model after and unconsciously pick up patterns from our parents’ relationship as well, and I cant say too many relationship are doing good.

@Oppositionless You are correct that a ton of relationships are built in workplace. But that is still different to a meditation or healing center where people are being vulnerable. I am not gonna go to one of these places just to find a partner. And I would not be going to these places for their exclusive purposes, as those I can do at home. Surely there are attractive people who are mature but they are virtually non-existant. That’s how rare they are. Finally, keep in mind its relative. What you consider attractive might not be for me, as I am used to top tier girls from my years in game. Maturity is also relative.

@aurum Again, I am not looking for a philosopher-partner. But just a partner to have some meaningful conversations with here and there. I would not date a stage blue girl, no matter how much polarity there is and how feminine she is — simply because there isn’t much interesting to discuss with. We don’t see eye to eye when it comes to values either. I think it is key that at least some of the core values align. You mentioned Spiral Dynamics Green when you talked about your potential partner. That is values.

Wow, what a read! Even tho I have not directly experienced these states, it is still a powerful and beautiful expression for me, as it gets me looking forward to it and to imagine how beautiful it will be. Cheers!

@aurum Like I said, she doesn’t have to be a Tier 2 sage. My mind is very active and I need to engage it relatively often. Spending time being present with your intimate partner? Sure, of course. But it also gets boring after a while. And a life partner is one that you spend a decent amount of time with. I am not wired to sit still and be present all the time. I need to be proactively working on a bigger vision. And to daydream and think big. People are wired differently, and that’s okay. Finally, I don’t think you answered the part of our question where we asked: what values are you looking for in a partner?

This is a very key topic in our work. I am surprised Leo hasn’t made a video about it yet.

Back in the days I absolutely loved Ronaldinho and Kaká. But for the past 15 years it has been Messi. Man this brings back so much nostalgia thinking back 15-20 years. What about yours?

@Oppositionless Meditation and healing centers are not the places to intentionally go and do dating in. We gotta respect the environment.

@aurum For someone to be a solid green, surely they have to care about self-improvement. At least to a degree. You are not born into green, as the gravitational pull of humanity is much lower. You gotta do a lot of self-reflection and introspection to get there. Seems like we have a different definition of self-improvement. To me, psychological and moral growth belongs in it too, most definitely. I agree that the girl doesnt have to be Tier 2 sage, but a stage blue or orange is too low in self-developmental level for me. I will not be able to have any meaningful conversations whatsoever at all, which is important for me to be able to be had with my partner. And they will most likely be holding back my growth — as we will be discussing our days and lives, and I will have to be too covert with what to tell them, which in itself already is too sneaky and hinders growth of practicing more honesty and truth. I am also not looking for a mother of my kids. I am looking for a feminine intimate partner, yes.

@Cred Yes, that is good. There is a difference between being authentic and just being straight up an ass, who doesn’t consider anyone’s feelings, perspectives and respective journeys and the stages they are at. As the old wisdom goes: meet people where they are at. The nuance is to do this authentically. And finally, that is a very good insight: don’t say things here and in the way you say, if you wouldn’t do it in real life, especially to people you respect.

I dance mostly by myself, and even if I did go to dance classes with others, they would be normies just like anywhere else. There is a reason most people don’t do this work. It is lonely and you will lose touch with most people.

Of course there are other important roles a woman plays in your relationship, like being feminine and bringing playfulness, beauty, love, support and companionship. But I also value meaningful and interesting conversations with my partner and my best friend, and self-improvement is a big topic there. Also on just practical level, I would keep pushing myself to improve and it can be hard to let it slide if your partner just doesn’t care at all. But as @Valach asked for, what are you looking for?

@Cred What I am saying is the mutual conclusion we have of you in our private moderator discussion. We do not encourage arguments / attacks here. And especially not obnoxiousness. We are here to discuss in a civil and respectful way. Our standards here are much higher than in a typical streamers mind / community, when it comes to communication and in the way we treat each other. Please respect this.

@Cred I appreciate the insights you try to bring to the community. It is the way you bring them. In an obnoxious way. Show some humbleness, and we are much more likely to receive you.