Miguel1

This is probably my third or fourth time I have said this in this thread but of course small talk, fun, and a good vibe is part of it. Just how much in the beginning when you are actually trying to get to know the other person deeply. I am getting tired of repeating my answers.

@KosmicGeng General advices like ”less is more” is that, general advice. Works on general situations. But what I am looking for is quite niched, quite an exception.

@Natasha Tori Maru I send you a voice memo on whatsapp, lets discuss this through there

Yes, you could be very correct here. You did have the ”hate men” on quotation marks, so it can be much softer than what hating men really is. As for her message to you, it sounds good. I would just becareful it is not just to keep things professional, but truthfully deep down she is repressing.

I would also prefer the older girls as they are more mature, IF they have done the work and have integrated. But goddammit most of them just doesnt cut it for me physical attractiveness wise. And lots of them haven’t done the work either, the shit has just compounded if anything. Now, if I grew older with her and her looks faded, then I am sure it wouldnt matter.

This is the issue. It is not a matter of ”if”. It is a matter of conscious intention.

Of course small talk is part of it. But should it last for the majority of the date? Or just the initial moments? I am not trying to put you down, the fact that you even think so is a problem. I am just genuinely confused. Notice, feelings are part of your truth. Not the whole truth.

PUA is toxic? Shocking.

If you think I haven’t spend years of my damn life going through my deepest and inner demons, fears, selfishness, self-deceptions and biases, I don’t know what the hell have you been reading, as I have been extremely vulnerable sharing my journey on this forum. But of course, if you are committed to seeing me as the problem, you will not see anything else, especially yourself as the problem. I admit I am not happy with my dating and I am trying to fix it, sharing my lessons here, asking for thoughts and open conversation, and overall being vulnerable, yet respectful — but I am faced with accusations of ego and having holier than thou mindset. What in the world. Becareful you guys are not living in your mutually created bubble, where Miguel is too egoistical to admit his short-comings. I have also talked to Aurum on phone recently. In there we seemed to agree, but here he seems to be against me. Hopefully not because it is just popular. There are people who support me on this, but they are more quiet and do so more via pms. Just becareful guys that when publicly you guys love to gather and go against me together, that it isn’t just bias and a self-defense mechanism to actually look deeper within yourself, and to actually be open to what I have to say. - - - - - At the end of the day, I am simply trying to have more honest, truthful, authentic, and vulnerable conversations and connections with people I meet. I am not claiming that I am Alien God.

I reject that first dates should be about hobbies, news and mainstream pop. Random talks that leads nowhere. I am surprised this is even rised. Perhaps that’s why we have so much misunderstanding. I expect us to have a certain mutual understanding of what depth, maturity, self-awareness, and integration means — for we are in such a forum, dedicsted deeply to said topics. Why are you even bringing up feelings? Since when have I implied I am looking for feelings? If anything, I am pushing for raw truth more so than feelings.

Oh you mean the things I am pushing right now, since I am trying to deconstruct the PUA paradigm?

Of course you can nitpick things. In a conversation like this where 10 different people are posting at once, you respond whenever you have time (and might have forgotten some details), might be in different emotional state etc etc. A lot of my answers are in the middle of my work days. A lot of times I thought I had more time to answer, but end up having to rush things. And the less obvious ones: when lots of people criticize you (whether they are legit or poor criticism / lack of respect), they will affect your mood. And that will affect my own delivery. It is bound to lead to lots of misunderstanding. That’s why I wanted to have a 1 on 1 call with you, and you agreed to it but never showed up, nor got back to me for re-scheduling. To use your signature as an inspiration: it is easier to blame others, than to look at yourself in the mirror. A proper call would solve most of the misunderstanding, if not all. - - - - - As for your trust question: again, it is such a vague question I don’t know how to answer other than there are certain things I trust in myself, and certain things I don’t — and anyone who claims otherwise is full of shit.

When you are the bigger person, the more mature, you have more responsibility. If you fancy yourself as such, that is.

The PUA paradigm teaches you to date 5-10 girls at once for months and months, before you drop everyone and just focus on one, when she has proved her worth to you. They call this abundance. I call it insecurity, and a huge waste of time and energy. I used to do it a lot so I know exactly how much time was wasted, and how I truly felt deep down. This is what I am mostly speaking against.

Too much split in her psyche. Notice how hard she fell for OP, so fast. This is way too unhinged and unsustainable. She does not have a stable mind. With that information, I actually think Zenterus is in deeper shit than what I originally thought. She will triple and quadriple down on hating men after this, and the hatred will be pointed towards him.