Miguel1

But yeah, it’s clear to me that pick up has not much of a place in my life anymore. And also, needless to say but I’m handling my latest break up in a 10x more healthier way than the break up before this one, even tho this one was 10x deeper and more intense. I’m proud of myself for that much growth to be able to handle it with so much more maturity. —- The heavy pickup phase also helped me to truly learn to value the pros of a serious, loving monogamous relationship.

Definitely.

Yes, as human beings, we need to master being humans first before transcending higher. But the level I took chasing sex was toxic and dysfunctional. No need for that extreme. It was fueled with lots of unresolved pain, selfishness, ego and ambirion. I hurt so many people in that process and would never cause others such pain ever again. And thank you! Feel free to reach out and ask anything related to socializing and dating.

I am not sure if it affected me negatively per se, but my standards rose maybe a bit too much to the unrealistic level. I know I can get almost any girl (looks wise) so I expecte my partner to be really good looking and cant be satisfied with normal looking girls. The issue with very good looking girls is that most of them are more often than not spoiled, and haven't had to do the in-depth inner and psychological work, which is even more important to me in my partner than her looks. Other than that, not really. I stand shitty behavior way less, which can be a bad thing in a serious relationship, as there are low moments, inevitably. ----- If I didn't go through that phase, I dont think I would have been able to develop deeper relationships because 1. I would be in scarcity and 2. there would be parts of me yearning for that phase. But I am wired differently, I am naturally very ambitious and won't settle for less. I would say it was necessary step, but it didn't have to be in such excess. 1/3 of that would have been plenty, had I just faced myself earlier. I am not sure what else could have taught me that lesson. I also dont know if I would change anything, as clearly I needed it all to be where I am right now. I would have told myself to face myself and my inner demons, and the pain of the breakup way earlier than I did -- but it is a different story if the me back then would have listened to that. That being said, practically speaking if I could summon myself back in time and meet my younger self physically, I would give him a big fucking hug, filled with so much warmth and love. That kid really just needed love and safety. He was and have always been full of love and all he wanted to do was spread that love to others, but that side of him was always taken advantage of due to his naivety and youth, that he got so broken, and had to develop extremely thick coping and defense mechanisms. I would give him deep unconditional love and make him feel extremely valued and safe.

Good Job on handling the situation. After studying human bullshit and unconsciousness, and also my own, seriously, for years -- I am not surprised at all at this behavior. In fact, it is to be expected. Most people truly are just animals. Unconscious survival automatons.

The youngsters are more spoiled than any generation before. There lies the biggest root issue.

Way to hijack a thread. Sorrey OP!

Correct. Butterfly in stomach feeling is actually your body responding in fight or flight mode. Passion based on real alignment in values and compatibility is where real beauty lies. Unfortunately, most people are too immature to value that, and chase novelty, excitement and fast passion.

I only got into MBTI like 3-4 years ago. And I have not studied ESFJs to the point where I could even identify them. But I've gotten mogged by some of these extroverted types, yes. For me, I am mostly detached from people as well. But if it is a serious, monogamous relationship, it better be fucking deep. Otherwise what is the point? I can have 10 fuckbuddies, friends with benefits whatever. They dont satisfy me, and they waste my time. I am not satisfied by shallow relationships, where we watch movies 2 evenings a week. What a waste of time! I rather spend that time building something deep via my life purpose.

Good question. I started my pick up journey as a blue pilled guy, like virtually all of us. I just wanted to find the one, but quickly got my heart destroyed, then got into game and female psychology. The desire for true love was always there but 1. it came from deep lack, immaturity and scarcity and 2. I got heavily into pick up to protect my heart from ever breaking so badly again. That's when I truly entered my devil phase. After my first 2 relationships, before entering my 3rd I was already quite the devil. I was with my 3rd gf for 3 years. After breaking up from that, instead of facing the pain, I completely drowned myself in girls. I was 23-24 at this point. Man, in 1 year, I had sex with easily over 100 girls. I lost count along the way but it was almost a full-time job. I was working evening shifts so I could hit the club 3-4 times a week. My game basically got so good at this point, that I was easily having sex with 2-3 new girls a week. It was just extremely time-consuming. After 8 months or so of doing that, I got so sick of it, and then covid hit, which actually was a complete blessing for me, as it forced me to finally face myself and my heartbreak from my 3rd relationship. After covid, I came out a new man, I had learned to finally be with myself, and to enjoy my own company without having to run away from myself chasing pussy. I went to a cruise where there wasn't many people around. I met one of the only beautiful girls there and turns out she had a boyfriend so I was like well, what to do, lets drop game and lets just befriend her. We connected and shared our lives for 3 hours, a smaller form of what I described in another comment yesterday. After few hours of that, she drops the bomb: "so we are having a phase with my boyfriend where I am allowed to explore my sexuality ((with girls))". Anyway, one thing lead to another and I had the best sex out of that 100 girls, BY FAR. I made love to this girl like I truly fucking cared, and it was a holy experience, rather than previously using the girls just to run away from myself and to feed my ego. That was the moment that got me to finally accept: "holy shit, pick up won't do it for me anymore, and I need serious connection with a special girl". So I went full circle back to looking for that special girl, but this time with 1. abundance and 2. not afraid to have my heart broken. But. I was still immature as I was very young. Met my last girlfriend and was with her for 5 years. It was a beautiful relationship, with lots of unconsciousness and hardships. But I was more truthful and honest than I had ever been with anyone, by far. I had always seen honesty and openness as key things in relationships, but during that relationship, I really learned the importance of it. We parted ways 6 months ago due to finally accepting that we are very different people and not compatible. I matured in that 5 years 10 times more than I matured in the previous 25 years. It was also 5 years of heavily studying Leo, whereas before that I had not started studying Leo. Leo directly affected that break up, for sure. I am grateful as it would have otherwise taken 10 years. It should have been 3 years max, but I was still too naive and immature. I've learned so much from that relationship, and I am ready for a more mature version of that.

Leading is another thing I enjoy highly. And not only sexully but leading people in general. Men here in Finland are typically such wimps, that in the pua community they say that Helsinki is full of beautiful blondes and no men. The culture here is very biased towards listening to authority, which has its own beauty because Finland is probably the least corrupted country politically, in the whole world. But that means that in social settings, it usually has to be me to step up and lead, which I enjoy a lot.

@Ulax is correct here. Serious game is very niche. Extremely hardcore. It’s only for the few. Honestly I don’t know if I could have handled game if I didn’t have all the unfair advantages you can pretty much have in socializing, including natural high ambition.

That’s the only way you have real intimacy. Later on it isn’t about wild hormones going crazy, but rather real love and partnership towards each other, based on full trust, loyalty, friendship + romance. The exciting, hormonal stuff is not sustainable, nor real intimacy. It is what immature and unconscious people chase.

Pickup was my food back when I was a complete devil. You have no idea what an extremely selfish version of a good-looking (exotic as well, as I am in an extremely white-skinned country, where they look at tan like a God-given gift, no kidding, and I have it naturally) manipulative, highly charismatic ENFJ is capable of, when it comes to attracting girls. And did I mention being the top street/hip hop dancer in the country? Back then it was also all about 18-22 year old girls, who believed any bullshit you told them, as long as they were attracted to you. But now it is exhausting. My results suffers a ton as I go almost immediately into screening the girl for her quality and depth, and "game" her on the premise that she can and see the value of a consciously behaving man. My "results" have almost dropped to zero. But I see absolutely no point chasing pussy for the sake of pussy at this point. I rather spend my time finding that rare gem. It's a matter of opportunity cost, as time is scarce for me right now. If we have no potential for a healthy, long-term relationship based on truth and honesty, what is the point to waste even a minute further on it?

I was talking about normal social settings, which is basically every social setting. I have yet to find a social place where I can be more my deeper self. Perhaps there are these more spiritual places and events, but gosh the ones I've been to, they can get hella annoying as people there are mostly delusional in Lala-spiritual land. I was annoyed by this when I was last in spiritual events which was 5 years ago (and these were not mainstream spiritual events). I couldn't have a fucking normal conversation with these people. Now, as my development is like 5X higher than then, I will not be able to stand them one inch. And yeah, if this forum was just one of another social place, I wouldn't be here. Why socialize online when I can do it in real life. This is the only place where I can pretty much show 95% of myself and my thoughts, purely as they are (which I deeply crave in real life, and this will never be the same as real life, but will do for now ((read my above post why this is so important for me, I totally need to be an open-book. That is core to my personality. I absolutely hate pretending, hiding, dumbing down, lying, manipulating, misleading etc. things that socializing with most people requires)). Especially as people in my real life should not be able to find me here, unless they are into this work -- in which case, there are no problems. That last paragraph was hard to write, bear with me. I gotta rush to sleep, it's late and I need to wake up early. Thanks guys for giving me this opportunity to share my thoughts and feelings. Means a lot to me, if that hasn't become clear yet, haha. Good night ❤️