twoosees

From time to time, especially when I try break away from media stimulation and the chores of the day I get this thought of death washes over me, to the point it feels as if it's quite scary because I think of it as no sense of anything forever. It cripples me.. It reoccurs from time to time each year, more so because I've been in quite numerous near death experiences going to the hospital catching covid and seeing a therapist for unresolved trauma How do you deal with the totality or however you make meaning of death

Good day to all on the boards Got an opportunity presented by my cousin to appply to work at an insurance company as renewal advisor for insurance policies Eg) hastings Back story is I've been out of college for 1 year and this is going on 2. After much fuss I even got presented with an interview and the company wants to do background checks on monday. Have questions on what I'm contributing towards letting others renew their policies.. Are insurance companies a well intented cause in society.. So some articles speaking on some of its impacts to climate change.. It's a catch 22 situation.. I do somewhat have a life purpose being an average artist, doing illustrations and graphic design. also started a YouTube quite recently but nowhere near 1000 subscribers mark.. Id like to give this oppurtunity it the benefit of the doubt but dunno how much longer I can go unemployed. It's also a survival thing as I am 23 now still staying with parents Plus the unemployment in my country now is higher than 50% Lol quite bleak hey Let me know your thoughts and TIA

I think I'm going to have to have to call it quits with the OneNote system and revert back to handwriting Reasoning: - I get strained by having to spend so much time on a computer(even with blue light), and the are numerous tasks outside journaling that I have to do since I upload content on the internet from time to time -ive restarted so many times with new sections and new notebooks. I often get deluded on what is I need to focus on. I could counter-argue that I should develop a better workflow. it would not be so much of an issue with physical books as you just need to carry on in that same book, forcing you to go back to entries. although there is a potential for environmental harm. (Lol the spiral dynamics green stage self speaking) - It's too easy to get sucked into other distractions as everything else is a click away from entering a rabbit hole of things tangent to what you were doing. discipline has been shot overtime - I had an intuition that I should revert back to physical notation but I was unaware of my own preference and what works for me, and pushed it so much so that it took this long to notice I'm going nowhere slowly - I was already not too organised with the physical notes(in the case where its not in a book and single exam pad pages) taking that to the digital notation the system just had a difficult time navigating and concentrating. - I tend to notice retaining information is easier for me when it's tangible/physical with a recent issue for my learner's licence for driving. Studying from the physical copy did justice in getting to acquire - the benefit of not losing material over time will be done through a system of digitising the notes and putting them on cloud storage. Anyone find digital journaling more draining or actually opt for it the whole way. lol, am I being too much of a conservative to technology?

I was on Twitter and got to know about the Indian vaccine outbreak. Still baffles me how it's own government put them in the gutter with this one. Granted though India is a pretty densely populated and not as outstretched as China It seems that it's entangled with its vaccine rollout to other countries instead and it's efficacy actually didn't do that much to the community. Anywho.. It seems it's not at all being talked about amongst my peers and family alike. And I understand it's devastating for people in India (or to better phrase it it I sympathize with them since I went through being hospitalized for Covid) Definitely not as bad in SA in terms of the hospitals being overcrowded. Generally we just had to get more beds outside the facility and cover it through using large tents if it got full inside. Not this hardcore situation where people are sharing beds. Rich countries are hesitant to get involved with aiding them. Inquiring my own attachment to this reality in India, I came to wonder why people can be so ignorant to suffering and the level we can go to just survive. I feel like people will even say India has got its own to blame for the pandemic.. Lmao I guess one of the realizations is that you can become such an activist and martyr for the wellbeing of other people that you are willing to affect your mental and emotional well-being like I am by ranting here, rather than focusing on survival tactics in my own country, life purpose and making a living

Simple question to discuss because I'm a spiral dynamics green minded type of person. My family on the other hand and pick up community I sometimes involve myself with advocate for probability systems such as the financial markets. Does it have any full circle effects to things such as the income gap between poor and rich? Suggestions and opinions are appreciated. I'm in my 20s BTW looking to earn substantial income this year. I'm open to it but I don't if it sacrifices my ideals/integrity. I've been open to making it integral into my life if it's a concious mechanism/vehicle/medium to elevate my concioisness

Hectic Stage Red and Orange dynamics in my country, SA. This job of dealing with transporting cash definitely one of the riskiest in this country.Kudos to the driver and Passenger

@Parththakkar12 Solid advice. Thank you @LfcCharlie4 yeah id have to research quite extensively, to not get caught in corrupt industries

@BipolarGrowth "FU money is defined as any amount of money allowing the infinite perpetuation of wealth necessary to maintain a desired lifestyle without needing employment or assistance from anyone." I can't grasp this yet, my work results still have not reached their exponential peak, lol actually quite sad but I have to persist. @Tanz I was thinking along those lines but then the desperation to get my life in order is quite alarming now. I'm 23, and there is a time limit to my stay here at home(I also expected to not stay so long so it's quite overdue). other aspects of my life are also taking a toll(dating) and being social. yes, there is a sacrifice to having a life purpose and I have to balance my attention to each of the aspects. Integrity might be compromised but its not wise to be a perfectionist about it.

Is part of gaining more consciousness and awareness derived from where you get your pleasure from? I've been getting into the scope of Semen retention teachings and came across this video. I have went through some Taoist literature, and research on it and seems a lot more than Sexuality. Yes you can get to the tantric levels and experience big states of consciousness (apparently, yet to experience) More so about transmutation

I have identified some health listed companies. They are not at all perfect and have a long way to go. I hope I'm not naive enough to understand that by having investment in these health related companies I can influence how they operate and elevate the way they do business..

@The0Self ? shout out man for even giving me resources into this space. I'll hopefully make time to get on them as soon as improve my work ethic and get the consistency going in my art

Spot on. I shouldn't be crying foul if others are benefiting from it if I'm resistant to it. Not a lot of people are considerate as me about what I involve me in and the risks I take, which can make me shoot myself in the foot.

@Leo Gura Lol, my artistic career is up and down due to some inconsistencies with my work ethic. Been doing illustrations, Graphic design, and practicing music. Still at it though but thought that I should not shut myself, or be too resistant down to that area of the financial markets.

I do not mind doing the research, thanks for pointing out that there are ways to align with your brand(identity) rather than be too much of oppurtunist. I did not understand part of the last sentence, is there a typo?

@Zeitgeist So I've got to see if my motivations and approach are coming from a conscious place. ..? I have been reading up on Personal Financial Management and it seems markets are an aspect of finances you shouldn't neglect, as they become more complex as years go by. I appreciate your point. Thank you.

@Parththakkar12 there's a section for this to post video ideas on the Home Page, but probably admin/moderators will move it there.

Hi there I'm having a slight difficulty within myself. There is a tug of war going on inside of my mind with regards to me wanting to help my brother out. He flunked his first term and it's a somewhat important year to get his act together. I've introspect on the matter and it seems part of it is a projection of wanting control a narrative that should go right for him.. As I wasted my opportunity years ago only towards the end of the year because I was not handling trauma and emotional turmoil well enough in my teens He is sucked into the pop culture sensationalism like Tik Tok Twitter and Ytube. Sometimes I express my disdain but feel bad since I was time on social networks myself sometimes. We do laugh about what they show on these social media apps because I'm trying to be where his at in life. I notice parental tendancies coming out too. Part me wants to deny helping so he can help himself .. While the other part so wishes to advise him.. And not for it to come of as controlling... Fuck..

Hey there. So I felt agitated for the past day about what is happening in my country. We are having another one of the protests on free education because of the historical debt students have accumulated from the covid epidemic. but it is really not something knew that we have been fighting for some time now. I have been somewhat affected by it as I could not get myself to pay the thousands of our currency to go back and get my academic record. it is now my 2nd year out of varsity. I had felt somewhat guilty for the cost of schooling and how much time I wasted on the opportunity in some instances. I was enrolled for commerce then got into fine arts.. My agitation is with the school system be a saving grace, the way we see it in our country now is like such a scarce resource, especially for the research universities. I fell into the trap of wanting to go to these uni's , having been against it for sometime in my teens. I lost some of independent thinking and joined the herd. (didn't now better at the time) Questions in my mind arose as i thought about free education and its impact on how lecturers would get paid? is it alright to be reliable on the government to secure everything is it even right to be entitled to a free education regardless of your circumstance in life? we are in somewhat of a system that is quite orange, blue and green on the spiral dynamics level, being heavily influenced by western culture. historically and currently still the pyramid scheme-like system of higher education is such that a minority of the minority that got accepted into that system survive? To me on the surface level that seems futile... But then again. I guess you need the cream of the crop to prevail How is possible that other countries are able to make it work if it's been done before? what has been the impact of it? I would imagine it being somewhat economical but have to research further. I like to get to read the experiences and viewpoints on the matter from forum members

Just finishing of the video on How Ideology works.. Man, the mind, my mind our mind is quite the constructionist. I could say that I intuitively shared some discussion points on how being locked into what society programs you is destructive, but on the other end that could also be an ideology, you can make out of life. reflecting on some points I found out that our minds always try to ground us in intuitive notions of reality. more especially for the curious type who can not accept the bare facts of their culture. Knowing how dense the topics on actualized are, in some instances, it's difficult for me to see if I am making an ideology out of reality or rather if I'm being actual about the experience. eg) notion of the mind operating outside the physical notion of Self and body when I walk or experience the current reality at the moment, I feel that I am taking concepts and inserting them into reality( like that of nonduality, the shapeshifting phenomenon of God being in a 'limited' form but is infinite in reality). I also had the thought to leave the consumption of teachings as it gets too addictive to get into a rabbit hole of dense content. I did some years ago, then got back into it. Lol, love-hate relationship with this platform. Like it's like you want to make a cult out of your beliefs, to cement an experience, whether with good intentions or not... at this point this post might be mental masturbation but wanted to put it out to get a different perspective rather than 'ideology' lol

@Raphael Glad to know that haha. its a little bit different on the bottom end of the world. Fortunate that we get to tap into forums nowadays. wouldnt have been possible some 30 years ago

@Rilles "I feel like one with the moon but that is some other shit!" lol glad to know weve got similair music taste in this forum.

a song idolizing marijuana as open relationship. a commited long term one at that Dom is a legend though haha. I miss getting stoned sometimes

@Jacob Morres Noted. Thank you for the breakdown of your points. I tend to express myself far too much now, but that is only because it is advised by some resources, but that is because it makes me more authentic. I used to think I'm selling my soul to frame myself in a grunt worker as I adopted this approach. However, I see the benefits of a solid portfolio. I really do not have anything to disagree on, except for paying for a referral.. is that not corrupt? . if it is rather I see sacrifice and willingness to do whatever it takes to get the job, but not sure if my concious is okay with that

Hi to the board members I have an issue in which I am struggling to land a job for some time now since December I have not been called back. I am currently out of college. I do some freelancing design work like graphic design and illustrations, which has had a bit of a slow start this year. (Context: Living in South Africa, not attending college anymore) open to some aspects working in our economy since we are fairly globalized. I update my cv from time to time and planning to do so this week. TIA

@Hello from Russia WOW. THANK YOU !