Dark_White

// Meta-Content // I'm mainly creating this journal to study various nuances and going meta on subjects that i found within myself and the world cause both are really one apparently now. And also if anyone is going through any of this spiral as me, could benefit from this or might gain some perspective here and there. // My objectives for this Journal // History - Time to leave relativistic stage and integrating those lessons Mainly I've been in the relativistic domain for too long and now i can see myself suffering through this endless meaningless-ness. Lately, my mind see through with heart even this concept of me trying to accept meaningless is meaningless - cause this is so meaningless. Anystep am taking to combat meaningless is meaningless before i understood intellectually but now i've understood to the level of the authentic heart perse. What made the breakthrough from green to see the yellow? Personally i believe what was happened, i had stage blue approach to green mentality. I was clinging to the dogma, if everything is meaningless, i should not even try and also if everything is meaningless what's the point in even trying. I became or kinda having these thoughts like where do it even coming from, and i realize how i construct meaning for meaningless-ness in a way. And i don't want to construct negative meaning on meaningless-ness in a sense. I was painfully aware that am making shit out of my life, if i hold onto to this thought and inherently the truth of the meaningless and the real meaningless ness differs a lot. Which again understood while in the self inquiry. Where i compared myself when i was in the no-mind consciousness and whenever i clinged to the belief of nothingness which provided me a breakthrough i guess. Also in my current state of mind, i can tell there's nothing important to do other than being authentic - Pursing the truth with you being the authentic driver - Yes sometimes you can go through the spirals of doubting yourself and wanting to be something else - but nothing is gonna be as important as you being authentic admitting your true intentions and allowing to be consumed by your shadow self to understand and know better of yourself ever more deeply. What else gonna be important to do. I don't know, even pursing god seems okay, but pushing myself for god can be done. But now i can understand that is not what i really want. And i thought, i have to go for god all the time and now it's seems okay to be myself and to just be. // Learning Stage Yellow & Impacts // I've just watched maybe 7 hours of content of stage yellow, trying to understand and within even an hour or two of content for a day. To be honest it made my life easier, yes obviously from my point of view. I been mostly neurotic about things especially understanding truths and god realization, so clingy i feared losing this one way ticket and the only ticket for all those sufferings i thought to myself. For me i want to escape myself cause there were some unwanted fears within myself which i was recognized and which is so much harder to face, i shuve it each time it comes and it's more worse each time as it comes. Which one of it was meaningless ness and my actions which are going to have no impact whatsoever not in a fame oriented manner but more like pragamtic thinking what's the point? but i pushed myself into thinking in more relativistic fashion as it's relative or whatever. I ackonwledge those parts within myself and i realized a deep truth within them and i could see their need. I could finally learn to learn integrate them as some of the parts i could strike balance within myself. These non-balancing life brought the balance and i came to now understood why an yellow mind can hold a paradox very well. Yes i heard this statement previously but now i understand more than the previous time, why it's possible to have a contradictive and paradoxical thoughts. It's so integrated and also it has no need for a dogma, cause dogma keep the mind stuck.

Hey leo, I'm having so much gratitude to your work. You just transformed my life completely and also i was stuck in an nihilism spiral time to time. But your video on how to love your life, entirely or like planted this seed on me to appreciate my life even more and become aware. I know you might get lot of these gratitudes but, not saying how much you have helped me grow could be really gulting for me. I express my gratitude to you, leo! Even tho I'm you!? Thanks for the suggestion, leo!

Hey guys, hope you're all doing great. I consider myself as in pluralist stage right at the moment and no matter what i try to do i authentically don't know anything for sure. And I'm stuck in the existential nest not knowing which matters the most. Before hand i was okay with me being ignorant and all in this nest but i kinda feel suffering in this stage a lot and i don't know which is right and wrong genuinely. And i want to move on to next stage yellow or strategist phase, but deep down i have an attitude of what's the point, sorta thing. Also previously I'm more of an extroverted thinker as am an INTJ personality. It's hard for me to think subjectively time to time. Any advice or resources would be a great help from you guys. Thank you!

Daimons or daemons are said to be a guiding force which lies in everybody that guide us in our life. Carl Jung, Socrates and like those many giveaway the credits to daimons that they were guided by them. Have you guys ever worked with your inner daimons? Your inner guide, which has a clear vision and guides intuitively upon situation. Does anyone knows how to tap into it? Also other fascinating thing about daimons are that you're daimon is mostly aligned with your favorite movie characters and you might have close values with them... which i find fascinating as tyler durden is my favorite character & i can see connecting the dots.

https://www.ndtv.com/india-news/will-read-gita-to-know-about-past-life-engineers-bizarre-leave-request-2570958#publisher=newsstand When alam watts said in india people would laugh when you gonna say you're god. He was partially right...

@samijiben He has other channel called awakening with russell and there he posts Spiritual video. If that's what you're looking for..

What's it to be authentic? Why authenticity is the key for reaching god and doing spiritual work? Being neurotic vs being authentic, in the path of spirituality. How to be more and more authentic and how to get in touch with your authentic self. If you were covered up in the neurosis on life.

Oh, that's great. Is it western or vedic reading? I can do vedic astrology reading to some extent. In india most of the people visit astrologer atleast once a year. I remembered once my parents gave my natal chart to astrologer and he predicted some of the life events that occurred exactly. I was stunned as i was much into science back in my childhood, i thought they somehow manipulated or tricked to found this. Then after several years i visited other astrologer and he predicted some events too, than this time i started researching online and learnt astrology myself, which i found it more fun cause they're too abstract and fun to play with.

You can either think of it that way or else it actually helped me in my contemplation today. I'm always worried about the uncertainty in everything atmost everything. As I'm mostly philosophically minded, this caused me a serious problem in my day to day life as i have an infinite outcomes for a single moment all the given time. And as leo explained that golf analogy as having the best models as their practice increases the odd to succeed. It give me a aha-moment! I just ended up with a definitive answers as though every finite entity has only finite sets of data to hold with. It's impossible to predict almost every single thing and i ended up recontextualizing this by having this analogy of infinite problems leave it to the infinite mind or finite problems solve with finite mind. I know it's seems so simple right now but the idea of uncertainty at that time was super overwhelming for me. So sword is neither good or bad, it's upto the master who serves!

@Nahm hmm, yea i do it at times!

@Parththakkar12 okay, thank you!?

@DIDego thank you! Yea, I'll stick up to it!?

Intj here with Ni-Dom. I basically love to talk about deep things philosophically and love to share different ideas and perspectives on things. Even tho, i express what i love and like to talk about what i love. I always come across to people as a person, who is kinda cold, secretive and hard to open up. Always they ask me to open up more. Even, when i crack some jokes. Can you believe that!? What am i supposed to do? what's even opening up mean? Also how could i share things about me, when they don't even bother to ask? And I'm afraid of oversharing too. Any advice, please!?

@Michal__ oh, okay it could be the reason too. Thanks for the recommendation!?

@Swarnim got into the same pattern, you know what helped. This video! Check it out. Also try to slow down. You're like making the water more and more mud, try to be still. Give up all your tricks, that would be the greatest trick to discover it.