Dark_White

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  1. Am just gonna cherry pick this up. 😂 Well i do struggle a lot in meeting people where they at. But perhaps i have to lot of inner work or psycho therapy in order to like make sense of this.
  2. @Elliott@Elliott well i find that to be a difficult part to accept, I somehow want to believe that people around me are like more greater than I'm or perhaps like me. Because growing up in my childhood my family was pretty decent and above the most people in our communities, i always received support from them even before i fall. Now it feels like all burden is in my hands now somehow. 😅 The coping part for me or what I'm craving is people may care or like work for other people's well-being too. It's difficult for me to realize people usually don't care about this atleast in my surroundings and mostly they're too focused upon their own life. If i supposedly just focus on improving myself has this inner contradiction. Am not posing this as an excuse, but as dilemma that is i face. I simply cannot like go with the tide and also i cannot ruffle the boat so much. 😅 Btw yess i do dedicate myself to improve myself, so i can like reduce suffering too. How to rise above this?
  3. I am already quite an introvert. But people who are like minded will genuinely help me progress for living a healthy life. But yeaahh thank you, I'll try to find and accumulate such people thank you!
  4. I interact with my colleagues on regular basis, so i can see mildly and subtle levels of the social games (authority obeying) and survival going on, which i consider to be unproductive although am trying not to judge too many of it. I see it as a path towards mediocrity, certainly i don't wanna be one of people. I wanna be more than that. Even if i like want to change those people i kinda feel guilty to going in their own way to make something for myself.
  5. How does one copes with the feelings of insanity or the feeling of not being misunderstood by normal people by doing things upon you such as consciousness work or spiritual work or even personal development? Especially in a 3rd world country - where people relatively uses trickery as a life style to a degree. Although you can see and recognize lot of things which are done by regular people which are being harmful or like deluded in some point of view (Not projecting ofcourse!) How y'all embrace this journey or tackle this specific issues? Especially when you feel emotional piss off at people who not only do stupid things but also try to bring you down for doing such things. Am looking for identifying crucial ways to Armour myself to get more deep in the process of authenticity rather than caught up with this low class trickery for the most part. How to push through this. Be critical on me, no issues! Cheers!
  6. // Meta-Content // I'm mainly creating this journal to study various nuances and going meta on subjects that i found within myself and the world cause both are really one apparently now. And also if anyone is going through any of this spiral as me, could benefit from this or might gain some perspective here and there. // My objectives for this Journal // History - Time to leave relativistic stage and integrating those lessons Mainly I've been in the relativistic domain for too long and now i can see myself suffering through this endless meaningless-ness. Lately, my mind see through with heart even this concept of me trying to accept meaningless is meaningless - cause this is so meaningless. Anystep am taking to combat meaningless is meaningless before i understood intellectually but now i've understood to the level of the authentic heart perse. What made the breakthrough from green to see the yellow? Personally i believe what was happened, i had stage blue approach to green mentality. I was clinging to the dogma, if everything is meaningless, i should not even try and also if everything is meaningless what's the point in even trying. I became or kinda having these thoughts like where do it even coming from, and i realize how i construct meaning for meaningless-ness in a way. And i don't want to construct negative meaning on meaningless-ness in a sense. I was painfully aware that am making shit out of my life, if i hold onto to this thought and inherently the truth of the meaningless and the real meaningless ness differs a lot. Which again understood while in the self inquiry. Where i compared myself when i was in the no-mind consciousness and whenever i clinged to the belief of nothingness which provided me a breakthrough i guess. Also in my current state of mind, i can tell there's nothing important to do other than being authentic - Pursing the truth with you being the authentic driver - Yes sometimes you can go through the spirals of doubting yourself and wanting to be something else - but nothing is gonna be as important as you being authentic admitting your true intentions and allowing to be consumed by your shadow self to understand and know better of yourself ever more deeply. What else gonna be important to do. I don't know, even pursing god seems okay, but pushing myself for god can be done. But now i can understand that is not what i really want. And i thought, i have to go for god all the time and now it's seems okay to be myself and to just be. // Learning Stage Yellow & Impacts // I've just watched maybe 7 hours of content of stage yellow, trying to understand and within even an hour or two of content for a day. To be honest it made my life easier, yes obviously from my point of view. I been mostly neurotic about things especially understanding truths and god realization, so clingy i feared losing this one way ticket and the only ticket for all those sufferings i thought to myself. For me i want to escape myself cause there were some unwanted fears within myself which i was recognized and which is so much harder to face, i shuve it each time it comes and it's more worse each time as it comes. Which one of it was meaningless ness and my actions which are going to have no impact whatsoever not in a fame oriented manner but more like pragamtic thinking what's the point? but i pushed myself into thinking in more relativistic fashion as it's relative or whatever. I ackonwledge those parts within myself and i realized a deep truth within them and i could see their need. I could finally learn to learn integrate them as some of the parts i could strike balance within myself. These non-balancing life brought the balance and i came to now understood why an yellow mind can hold a paradox very well. Yes i heard this statement previously but now i understand more than the previous time, why it's possible to have a contradictive and paradoxical thoughts. It's so integrated and also it has no need for a dogma, cause dogma keep the mind stuck.
  7. Hey leo, I'm having so much gratitude to your work. You just transformed my life completely and also i was stuck in an nihilism spiral time to time. But your video on how to love your life, entirely or like planted this seed on me to appreciate my life even more and become aware. I know you might get lot of these gratitudes but, not saying how much you have helped me grow could be really gulting for me. I express my gratitude to you, leo! Even tho I'm you!? Thanks for the suggestion, leo!
  8. Hey guys, hope you're all doing great. I consider myself as in pluralist stage right at the moment and no matter what i try to do i authentically don't know anything for sure. And I'm stuck in the existential nest not knowing which matters the most. Before hand i was okay with me being ignorant and all in this nest but i kinda feel suffering in this stage a lot and i don't know which is right and wrong genuinely. And i want to move on to next stage yellow or strategist phase, but deep down i have an attitude of what's the point, sorta thing. Also previously I'm more of an extroverted thinker as am an INTJ personality. It's hard for me to think subjectively time to time. Any advice or resources would be a great help from you guys. Thank you!
  9. Daimons or daemons are said to be a guiding force which lies in everybody that guide us in our life. Carl Jung, Socrates and like those many giveaway the credits to daimons that they were guided by them. Have you guys ever worked with your inner daimons? Your inner guide, which has a clear vision and guides intuitively upon situation. Does anyone knows how to tap into it? Also other fascinating thing about daimons are that you're daimon is mostly aligned with your favorite movie characters and you might have close values with them... which i find fascinating as tyler durden is my favorite character & i can see connecting the dots.
  10. https://www.ndtv.com/india-news/will-read-gita-to-know-about-past-life-engineers-bizarre-leave-request-2570958#publisher=newsstand When alam watts said in india people would laugh when you gonna say you're god. He was partially right...
  11. @samijiben He has other channel called awakening with russell and there he posts Spiritual video. If that's what you're looking for..
  12. What's it to be authentic? Why authenticity is the key for reaching god and doing spiritual work? Being neurotic vs being authentic, in the path of spirituality. How to be more and more authentic and how to get in touch with your authentic self. If you were covered up in the neurosis on life.
  13. Oh, that's great. Is it western or vedic reading? I can do vedic astrology reading to some extent. In india most of the people visit astrologer atleast once a year. I remembered once my parents gave my natal chart to astrologer and he predicted some of the life events that occurred exactly. I was stunned as i was much into science back in my childhood, i thought they somehow manipulated or tricked to found this. Then after several years i visited other astrologer and he predicted some events too, than this time i started researching online and learnt astrology myself, which i found it more fun cause they're too abstract and fun to play with.