Clarity808

@max duewel I totally second that! I am too and I feel like an alien struggling in a world that I'm not designed for haha.

WOW. What is love. What is truth What is reality. What is suffering. What is thought. What is meaning. What is a contraction/trigger. I realized all of this actually. Suffering: when you resist reality Love: when you experience reality as it is…when you are reality directly…direct being… Thoughts: constructs of reality but not absolute reality so therefore never absolutely true Meaning: constructs of reality we create to make sense of reality, but not absolute reality and so therefore not absolutely true or existent…only reality exists. (side note…thoughts and meaning exist but are partial and separate and far removed from the actuality…they are like maps of it and pretty soon you have a map of a map of a map of the grand canyon but it’s not the grand canyon. Maps are nice to have…but try to get them as close as possible to the grand canyon and don’t confuse the map with the rock itself. ) Why we create meaning: to have fun. To organize. To make an experience of our preference to know ourself in a certain way that is fun and new. God wants to experience itself in all possible ways in full. Forms of suffering: Thoughts that are far removed from truth of reality. (thoughts that don’t match up to actuality very well, thoughts that resist and push away actuality) Contraction/Feeling Bad Trigger: Signal that you are out of alignment with truth of reality. Concepts and pretending to love is different than actuality of love. Actual pure true love is the direct passionate acceptant experience of being of reality as it is…is allowing reality as it is to move as it wants to authentically and truthfully…and being in support of that...complete openess and thoughts/emotions aligning with truth. Love is the natural authentic movement and being of reality as it is…and the faster reality moves..the higher the density of itself..more consciousness basically..which is more passion..more excitement…more acceptance of itself..more experience of itself…more knowing and being of itself in a small cubic time frame…that to experience more reality is to experience more love… love=truth=being=god=harmony=oneness=passion=acceptance=no resistance=reality That I saw the contraction/trigger as a signal I am resisting/misperceiving reality. That I came to acceptance/love/understanding of reality as it is. That the contraction/trigger then dissolved and energy started flowing and my consciousness was free to focus however I liked. And what I was resisting finally passed through my consciousness. That all the “hitches” “obstructions” “disappointments” I’ve ever experienced were all just me resisting/misperceiving reality. And the fear I have of something obstructing me, ironically made it so. Because resisting it kept it there. But if I accepted and experienced it then it would naturally pass through and nothing ever sticks if you don’t resist it. Love it. Be it. Understand it. It passes through. So therefore I see that I did not mess up I understand that I did my best. I see that he doesn’t care/is irrelvant. It does not affect me and there is nothing for me to feel bad about whatsoever. AND WOW…WHEN YOU ARE IN ALIGNMENT WITH REALITY…THERE ARE NO OBSTRUCTIONS OR CONTRACTIONS AND ENERGY FLOWS. Obstructions only exist when you resist reality. Pure Self = natural energy flow without the definitions of the mind blocking that energy flow with it’s resistant and untrue thinking/meaning. More reality= more love = more natural flow. Blocks only exist if you resist reality. But nothing can obstruct reality actually speaking....that obstruction is just an illusion. Reality is unobstructed because that is all that there is it is impossible to block something that is only itself there is nothing other than it. The more you are in alignment with truth/reality= the more you are unobstructed and free. THEREFORE use every contraction and form of suffering as a catalyst into deeper realization of Truth. Every hitch and contraction = I need to see how I’m resisting/mispercieving reality. Understand, love, ask the 4 questions is it true is it really true how would I feel if it wasn't true speak the opposite and five examples why that is true, the trigger signal of feeling bad is neutralized because I did what it is asking, which is to align with truth, and the experience passes through. Pure Self = Unobstructed. Rest more in... Practice recognition of Truth. Self. Being. And untruths will harm you less and less. Like a snowflake dissolving on a stove... Misperceptions integrate into the light of counsiousness. Continually purify the I am. Recognize the sense that you exist.

I am seeking outside perspective on a dating a guy that checks off all the boxes on so many amazing levels of what i crave in relationship except the sexual attraction is weak. Since the beginning I’ve never had an attraction to him very much physically. Good things: -deep spiritual connection, study enlightenment material and resonate together at subtle levels of truth -higher conscious conversations, intellectual connection -openminded and intelligent more toward post-conventional stages of development -relates and resonates with my mission and values -kind, patient, loving -hands on and eager to be of service -be productive together, helps with home -his presence puts my being at ease and is better to have him at my place then to be alone -he is very thoughtful and has bought me a bike, dance shoes, researched things for my career, has left me money to buy groceries, has helped me redesign my home to be more uplifted -we can meditate and read and study together -he is eager to innovate lifestyle and helps me as I am making next career moves -ambitious: we both desire to develop and self actualize to highest potential -I do enjoy when he caresses and holds me and kisses me -He is what I asked for on so many levels, someone to grow with to the deepest level of my soul, to learn with, to dive deep into the most important practices of being and cognitive development and the application of career dance and embodiment and to share in higher conscious values and development. To be more conscious and loving. -That he follows my lead well and me to his. -humorous and playful -is a dancer and the dance connection is good and creative Red Flags? -often I have to close my eyes during sex and imagine someone else (getting a little better but still feel resistant to seeing him) -I am not attracted to him very much sexually, do not crave him like I do others -feel embarrassed to be with him in public and am actually resistant to him holding hands with me -experience thoughts of resistance to him and desire to date other people/fantasies of past lovers -that he walks by and I am turned off as I see him -his nervous laugh and shyness is especially a turn off -A friend has told me that looks-wise I am a 9, and I have a feeling he is more like a 4 -I do not feel happy about just having sex with him as he is not giving me the kind of sexual experience I desire most -i am used to high levels of sexual chemistry that I don't feel with him. -he gets jealous when I dance with other people and has requested that I be monogamous with him sexually (it is more aligned with me to dance with many people, that I don’t want to be with just him and I crave other types of sexual experiences he is not giving me) -he has stated that I am the one for him and its decided and his desire to have me as his life partner, that he is “falling deep” -he thinks about me all the time and goes out of his way to do things for me, buy things for me, all my food, do whatever I ask, offered to help pay for rent HOWEVER: My friend has pointed out that in the past when I’ve been with lovers that I am highly attracted to, I can get obsessed. Can be an emotional ride of ups and downs and the sex can get excessive. And that maybe in a relationship with a partner that I am not overly sexually attracted to could be a good thing? QUESTIONS/CONTEMPLATIONS: -Can I ignore my thoughts of resistance and frustration and instead work toward improving my attraction with him? Can attraction be improved? -I wonder if he is too much of a match in so many areas that are important to me that it would be silly to drop him completely? -Or maybe he can be a partner with me and would be open to me seeing other people as well? -Might it be healthier to have a partner I’m not explosively attracted to? -Or should I consider going back to the drawing board and finding an even better fit before we get too entangled? He has used me to be his monogamous girlfriend and I said yes out of not knowing how to stand up for what I really want and need. Not clear in myself completely and also how I would approach the conversation. Would like to readdress with him once I get more clear. What my heart desires most in a relationship as was shared with me by Origins: My theoretical thoughts on the real meaning of deeper relationships outside the context of simplistic evolutionary lenses and the purpose, effects and causes of those corresponding implementations. To know the other so deeply and they you that you can do nothing else other than to merge your whole consciousness with them; other now melts into oneness in the simultaneity. To serve one another's potential in consciousness so much that both of you generate a symbiotic informational growth loop with one another's minds; existence becomes a mission not only not fought alone but with shared interconnected meaning on said meaning as it connects to one another's understanding of life, a mirror of absolute companionate strength. To this, you serve the destiny of the universe, to be in ever-changing flux but that fluidity of corresponding change and development experienced individually bridged by the simultaneity of your dual collective connective experience of growth and feedback for and with one another's expression of the universe's nobler climaxes. To this end, you light one another's flame further for life than it otherwise would have been, autocorrecting existential malaises that would otherwise stall one another while alone and emphasising the loop holes and keyholes in one another's experience of awareness through the subtlest understanding you've developed of each another to better potentialise experience; former shadows now forced by luminescence to redefine and remarry into the next even more subtler chapter of companionship. The more mirrors developed and the more accurately they reflect, the deeper you're forced to go into one another's dual created Inception; dreams collide and new worlds are created that only you both have access to and comprehend. To the outside a natural cryptographic language has emerged that only you both can intuitively understand and solve about one another and in your combination; the subtlest look, the core meaning behind a partners dream without them needing to explain, the path you both decide to take without needing much if any discussion at all, you're carried by one another's intimate knowledge of each other that has been developed from years and years of meaningful study. Complex mazes become simple roads, dangerous mountains become gentle river streams, the growth and development of one another's consciousness from what started out initially as a competitive game now a collective embrace of meaning and understanding. “ And see my post here for my desire for next level relationships:

@Miguel1 Thank you for sharing! Yes very similar thread. My favorite answers from yours were to attend workshops seminars type places but also to plug into your life purpose and make an impact as that is a likely attractor. and @Logan lives close! haha

@Chew211 Wow amazing I am so grateful for your perspective thank you! It is so true I realize, these relationships could very well already exist for me with my current circle. It's a matter of me presenting what i wish to explore and discuss and many of these people may actually meet me here. And it was here along. Interesting distinction between making them and finding them. Bringing them to life within the configuration that is already here. How I had this experience just the other day. Where I wanted to have a more meaningful conversation with a friend and relate from a different perspective. And when I requested this and proposed the topic, he actually was able to meet me here. And tada here is the relationship experience I was asking for. To be a leader and stand up for request what I desire. Thank you for pointing out.

My intention writing this was to clarify my desire for myself and share in case anyone can relate or resonate and give insight or maybe even is interested in talking more and meeting. Do you relate to outgrowing relationships and desiring new next-level relations more in alignment with your new perspectives intentions state of being and direction for growth? And where I can begin to find and meet such people and network? I am in Southern California. Below is a description of my desired relationships and I am contemplating now how I will begin to meet and learn with such people. I have such a desire to meet and relate with people that can understand and speak the actualization/realization language of Leo. That are oriented towards what is most important in life: for me right now is realizing and exploring the nature of consciousness/reality, and then actualizing myself more clearly and efficiently to my fullest potential. People that may meet my level of ambition, passion, commitment, excitement for life. That already have an understanding/ investigation of the nature of reality/consciousness directly, that are moving up in the stages of ego development, that are committed to reaching and innovating their fullest potential and have much drive and hard work and ambition like myself. That resonate with the principles of raising consciousness, capacity to love, to take in the beauty and profundity of life, and to feel alive every day to innovate new ways to expand and grow. That I could expand upon Leo’s teachings and beyond with. To go back and forth about our own actualization and realization process.To learn and grow and practice with. A next-level network of higher-developed humans not lost in much of the sheepdom and conformity and close-mindedness I am moving away from. I know generally it is a lonely path of self-actualization, but I see the relevance for growing in relation with other beings that can speak and relate with me at higher levels. To have mutually reciprocal connections. I am starting to feel that I am outgrowing my current paradigms of relationships. I feel pulled into their worlds of being a person in a world fixated on drama that no longer is relevant real or true to me. So much of how these people see the world and themselves no longer resonates and I do not relate. I want to study this material of Leo and other teachers that resonate and apply it live it actualize it and accelerate growth...to understand the nature of reality.. The universe. Consciousness... And apply that to craft reality more consciously and evolve. Everything else is all distraction. I want to know myself as the universe in full haha. I am studying the stages of ego development and see myself working on moving up continuously, and many of my friends are very much closed minded and in lower stages of development and cannot grasp much of what I wish to discuss. I wish to build a support and network of next level relationships that are aim for higher stages of development that I can begin to growth along side. Relate to. Learn with. Grow with. I have a beautiful capacity to communicate, understand, listen and learn, and desire to have higher conscious discussions and with people that can meet me at this level of clarity of communication and aligning intentions. A lot of my growth has been through relationship. Through mentors and friendships, and I am finding I am needing to raise my standards once again. To seek out new mentors, new friendships or even intimate relationships if the connection and potential for growth is there. I want to deepen my heart more. I want to learn and grow vertically as epically a I can in this life. I want to meditate and contemplate the intelligence of the universe and the practice recognizing the depth of my being and awareness and absolute infinity and then come more clearly and freely and empowered into form and apply the insights and realizations to be of more service and evolve even higher. To increase my skill and my mastery. Currently I am building my own production company and improving my editing, filming, business acumen, to build a production company that crafts meaningful stories for business marketing. I am also a huge dancer: salsa, bachata, swing, fusion, west-coast, and pole. This article below especially describes my growth and paradigm shifting very clearly and speaks of my desire to want to experience new relationships. That I am becoming very clear who I am and how I want to live and focus and the energetic quality I wish to embody. And I am accelerating my learning and expansion and opening up to higher levels of consciousness intuition and lessons. That I am growing into a new paradigm of mastering my craft building this company and seeing higher focusing higher and embodying more expanded states of being and awareness and actualization and perspective and understanding. That my heart is deepening and I feel more connected to the universe than ever and less like a separate person in a world. I also resonate deeply with Benthino Massaro’s teachings and this is from him: The thing is, you will start to attract more and more people into your life who are also very excited about their excitement, very passionate about their passion, very engaged in their spiritual awakening, very committed to their continuous growth and accelerated learning and living. The more you change in this way, the more you will attract people, friends, relationships, and communities that will form, in a way, your “vibrational family,” which might feel more like your actual family than your physical family feels. You will find so much more interest in the relationships you will gather around you by the Law of Attraction. This will happen naturally, by simply becoming an accelerated-learning being. In my own experience, the more I use catalysts, the more I use my experience—the experiential realm that seems to be outside of me—the more I am able to interpret experience from higher levels of Consciousness, using greater wisdom, intuition and clarity. I am able to see a bigger-picture perspective. I learn and appreciate because of this reflective attitude within myself. I am now learning so fast that I am almost exclusively using the level of imagination to learn things before they even have to manifest. But of course, I also learn from manifest challenges, from flow and not-flow, from the people around me, and so on. Now that you are starting to accelerate your learning, increasing the amount of benefit and learning you extract from the experiences that you and your Higher Mind are attracting into your life (for the purpose of learning and greater expansion and better fine-tuning of your thematic energy), one thing you will notice is that many people (perhaps even you) are challenged by relationships that don’t quite work anymore; relationships that seem to represent the “old paradigm.”

@aurum @Abdelghafar Very helpful perspectives thank you. I am seeing more clearly that yes I don't do well living alone either. The network is critical you are right. Thank you so much.

Dear Leo actualizers, I write this because I have a burning contemplation haunting me for months that I’m wondering if I am missing a blindspot. And this contemplation is so vitally important to the evolution of human potential. Mine and others. And of the universe. I have tried working and living alone for almost a year now and it has been this big claustrophobic/sometimes debilitating fear and low vibe feeling that has hindered my ability to work. I have so much desire to leave my house and not be there. So I have been traveling around working in my car and working at other people’s homes. Currently my solution has been to stay with this guy I’m seeing and work in his place and for whatever reason that has provided me great relief and allowed me to make serious progress with my work. I am building my own production company crafting marketing videos for businesses. I have so many questions around this phenomena of my feeling safe and psychologically, energetically optimized so that I can put in consistent work. Is it the circumstance? Is it in my head? Is it just biology and the natural flow of life or am I just not being tough enough? Maybe the answer a little mix of everything. But I’ve been struggling with this for almost a year now and I have such a great desire and need to actualize better that it needs to be innovated and improved. Because I am so connected to Leo and his orientation with life, because he can see from so many different perspectives and can pierce through so much bullshit, I directed my contemplations to this forum. Is it possible to live and work alone and reach the peaks of progress I am aiming for? Or is this something that I’ve been trying to force that just isn’t right for me? I honestly have been trying to figure this out for the last year and it is still not clear to me why its not fully working and if I’m missing something. I still wake up so many days with such a sense of dread and aloneness and have a hard time seeing all the possible realities I wish to actualize. Is it possible to work alone in a place consistently to where these little fears and sensations are not an obstacle to what you really want to do? I’ve experienced working in another person’s home where I work so effortlessly without a second thought about it. And there have been times in between my traveling that I can work in my home with total focus. But day after day? No way…haven't had a two-three day period whatsoever working in my home. Something is not right in the architecture of my work and life. I have this sense that the highest growth will be me building my own company developing my own skill. Crafting my own work. And that is really the only way to develop my skill in the highest. And that If I worked under anyone else my time would be restricted to develop and I would be doing their work instead of crafting my own, and would affect the kind of lifestyle I desire of making my own time and schedule as much as possible. Developing my own edge. Because you really can’t confine creative genius. And I worked for a production company where I had to be there at a certain time and wander around talking to people and I wasn’t anywhere near as productive innovative or growthful as I am now, even with the home situation. But my experience as described kicks up doubts as to whether or not this is actually something I can do. I listen to Leo videos about building and working hard. And I have that in me. But have not been able to do it consistently because of this fearful, dark cloud, aloneness, claustrophobia, feeling of stagnation that overcomes me in that home alone (and trust me I do all the practices to pump myself up) that I have been working with and through for nearly a year, so I promise as much as I try to mentally break through it it always comes back. QUESTIONS EXPLORING THE STRUGGLE: Is it the home? The feeling of it? But is is clean and super cute but feels just sort of dark and empty. Could it be the neighborhood? It’s a nice neighborhood in Anaheim but sometimes feels empty and depressing like lack of energy. Is it just a depressive pattern that needs to be broken? Well I have with force broken through it some days and was like wow that was in my head. But it keeps coming back with a vengeance and some days I just don’t have the mental power to ninja it away, and sometimes I think there is legitimacy to getting out and going to be with people. Because the urge to leave is just so strong I just find the only relief I get is when I leave. Is it because I am alone and just biologically my system thrives better in the presence of another person, one especially that I feel close to and supported by especially in the work intentions? Why this guy that for now that connects with me intellectually, spiritually, romantically, and supportive of my career intentions, feels so good to work in his home? How I work so effortlessly in his home sometimes without a second thought…what the heck is that about??? And yet I fear that such a relationship is not something to depend on long-term for my own progress. Is it because working alone is not for me and I should re-engage my business partner that fell away? Or find a better one? That maybe that could provide me some more structure and sense of camaraderie? Or that maybe I should have more shoots more or more filmmakers of the next level to be working with? Or maybe working for another production company altogether? Or is it just a natural human need to need to be in new places and see new peon and not want to live and work alone? Should I honor that and find a pace to live with someone nice to see if I can uplift that sense of confinement and fear? I also really enjoy looking and cleaning for and with someone. Something about it feels better. Or should I just go do a bunch of activities and travel and see people and fill myself up socially and then I can work alone? Something about that doesn’t feel completely true, how often I feel more depressed doing activities when I know what I really want is progress. Because I’ve done some experimentation, and I’ve actually ben living in this guy’s home for a few days at a time. And there is no question of fear. No questions of feeling bad for the most part. I just get straight to work and get so much done and feel so all possible. What the heck? Could it be because I like the feeling of his home better? Or maybe just the sense of his presence and not being alone that puts me at ease? Maybe he provides me a sense of containment and human form and connection that otherwise I feel too disembodied alone woking on a computer in my home. That I really do prefer and enjoy cooking and cleaning for and with someone and feeling supported in their space? Am I asking the right questions? Am I focused in the right and relevant way that will get me to more of that which I want: more consistent work progress and actualization? Am I overthinking it? I want solutions to figure out how to best optimize my life structure so I can plug into developing more of my highest potential and the visions I wish to bring to life with my company and my work. POTENTIAL SOLUTIONS: For now my solution is to keep experimenting and living with this guy and see how my work flows. So far is better. And then after that maybe see about moving in? Could come with more issues. Or finding a different roommate situation that’s supportive of my intentions? Or find an apartment by myself somewhere else that feels more uplifted in a better area? Or bring on another work partner? Or just get. Job working for another company? Or just keep trying to focus past my mental fears? Or just keep more in motion and see more people do more activities maybe that will fill me up so I can be alone in that home? So many potential questions and answers I feel quite unclear what is truly happening that is preventing me form getting in as much progress as I desire and how I can better optimize and architect my life to get this. I need an outside perspective at this point. This struggle and desire for better long-term solutions is literally burning inside me because I know how much potential is here and will do anything to better focus and actualize it. Thank you so much for all your work as it truly has helped me to even get to this point. Because I am so committed to my highest potential actualization and realization, could never tolerate mediocrity ever again, and have experienced the levels of intelligence and embodiment and breakthrough that could truly benefit more of human evolution, beyond mind-blowing to say the least. I am so incredibly excited to bring more of that next level reality more and more into my experience. How undeniably exciting it feels to be a high-level creator choosing deciding creating crafting my own life and my own skill and my own service to others and at the same time explore the nature of reality and consciousness and alter my experience, of myself and develop myself into higher stages of evolution, shifting my reality experience and re-programming my operating system. How I’ve had mind blowing weeks and days that have been out of this world different from anything I could ever imagine as far as selflessness and all-accomplishing action and creativity and experiencing myself as the universe and having different experiences of embodiment and consciousness and so much heart-wrenching love and passion and connection that feel highly authentic pure direct no thought expansive and incredibly productive and powerful versus my usual and past paradigms of being a person in a world trying to think and figure it out and bump around in the physical material surviving kind of experience. The visions, the insights, the talent, the teachings, the contemplations and meditations and then actualizations, it’s accumulating to a point of no return. Breakthroughs of creative progress. Of workflow progress. Of tremendous insights into what I want to do and how I’m going to do it and I have accomplished 8 videos in the last 4 months that have refined my storytelling and shown me what is possible for me. I want to develop my unique talent to craft an impactful story that will bring you to tears, with beautiful cinematic rhythmic footage and editing, providing companies with great missions an impactful piece of marketing. I want to work with high-end ceos making a difference in the world and tell they story with my unique style and craft. I want to also develop my art in dance videos and create powerful pieces that capture dancers authentic energy and skill. I have a high-level production company CEO mentoring me weekly that is completely in alignment with my vision of also scaling the corporate video niche and wanting to make a million dollar production company and he is giving me more shoots and I have connections to business across the nation though my main client that does leadership coaching for businesses and so the potential, the possibilities the path is all here. But now I am running up against some issues that are hindering my ability to walk that path more consistently, more deeply, more progressively that would really take the evolution of the universe to the next level. Much infinite love, Claire

I am building my own production company as a form of my self actualization. Some of my biggest challenges right now is my ability to work consistently and focus deeply. Especially focus. I find myself working under blankets or in corners because sometimes it is very difficult for me to get into higher levels of productive flow and keep it. How many random thoughts and dreams can take me off the track of my work! My work especially requires high degree of focus and creativity with my editing and storytelling and planning my videos. Practicing and refining and brainstorming constantly how I can improve my focus and accelerate my skill and results. How I can get into flow without an observer and renounce stray thoughts? I observe myself too much and have a pattern of entertaining lots of random thoughts in everyday life and it takes me off the course of getting into a productive creative flow. More meditation practice is one thing I could definitely use. Going to post to track my progress and voice my struggles and various insights on my path to self actualization and realization. I want to keep myself accountable but I like the idea of community as well. I'm committed to finishing up my latest client's videos in the next couple days as well as the edit of my own commercial by the end of the weekend so I can work on landing the next big projects, then also be able to bring on additional skilled filmmakers that I could also learn from to more develop my skill and efficiency.