ThePoint

@Ulax Do you know about developmental psychology models like Spiral Dynamics and/or the stages of Ego Development? Do you think that there’s an intersection between developmental psychology and IFS? And out of all models, what model helped you the most? Was it IFS? Not 100% clear. I think it will involve helping others overcome my current struggles; depression, anxiety/paranoia, fatigue, etc. I don’t know if it will be the main focus though. I was a very productive person before I had health problems out of nowhere a year ago. If I resolve my depression and become reconnected to my “self” and “personality” my life purpose will be a lot clearer to me.

@Nate How old are you? @Artsu Can you elaborate on this? What exactly do you mean?

Are you planning on becoming an IFS Therapist?

“Emotional Isolation is the #1 Cause of All Addictions on this Planet. Sobriety is not the opposite of addiction, human connection is.” Heard this from this video by Teal Swan: Would you agree with this? Why or why not?

I have tried many well known self-help techniques, have tried CBT on myself, have studied philosophies like Stoicism, have tried journaling, and many more. Nothing is helping. I think there is something wrong with my psyche, and the reason why I think that's the case is because, if I used these techniques 2 years ago, they would work fine. In fact I knew about a lot of these techniques & methods before my paranoia even started. It made perfect logical sense, that if something is out of your control, it is completely pointless and a waste of time and energy to be fixated on it. I was naturally able to think this way 2 years ago. But ever since my paranoia started, it has felt like I lost my free will. Most of the time, I can't even pinpoint what I am paranoid and anxious about. It can be on the smallest things, where I ask myself "What is the worst that could happen?" and my mind won't be able to come up with an answer (because of how trivial the thing I am paranoid about is) and I will still feel like something extremely bad is about to happen. Like I am talking the anxiety you feel when you are running away from an animal that is about to kill you. I feel that on a constant basis, 24/7, for seemingly no reason. I can't pinpoint the reason why I feel so anxious all the time. Are there any books I can read or information I can learn? Or what professional help can I get?

@Ulax How long did it take for you to start seeing results?

Dude @Michael569 you’re a legend. Thank you for your detailed reply man. The things I’m paranoid about have never happened actually happened to me, so I’m not sure why I’m so irrationally paranoid. My paranoia only started a year ago, out of nowhere. Maybe it has something to do with my gut problems. What are your thoughts on addiction? I’ve been addicted to food and masturbation to escape this constant negative feeling. I’ve been trying to beat my food and masturbation addiction for so long but I keep relapsing. For my food addiction I overeat healthy foods too, it’s like I’m never satiated. I still get cravings for masturbation even though I don’t actually enjoy it anymore. Haven’t enjoyed it for a year.

@Ulax Why? Not disagreeing. I think it would, but I wouldn't be able to articulate why.

@Michael569 What are your thoughts on paranoia? @Ulax Thank you! Have you tried them?

@Ulax Wow! So much value here man. Thank you so much for making such a detailed post! Thank you so so much for showing me this! This looks amazing.

@Ulax In what way?

Thank you. By the way, I did ask you in one of my other posts under this thread

@Mesopotamian I know about the Vagus Nerve. I am currently reading a book about it by Wendy Hayden. I have yet to get any results from it.

My body and mind have levels of anxiety which are disproportionate to the thing that it's being anxious about. There is definitely something wrong. I feel a lot of fear and anxiety coursing through my body over very small and trivial things. Why do I get so anxious over small things?

Man I don't get it. How do you just "release" tension? I've felt chronic tension for the past couple of year and it never goes away.

@Judy2 One of my values is freedom. So perhaps I fear not having my freedom? No. A friend of a friend however, yes, for something that they did not commit. Definitely the former, being robbed of my freedom. So what I'm getting at here is that I should be more accepting of it and treat it like I am caring for a baby? That is the hunch I got from reading what you wrote and it seems to be getting somewhere. By calling it a beast, I am separating it from myself. But I thought that was a good thing. Can it be a bad thing too? Yes, you are correct. I don't know how to cultivate this trust again. No, or at least I can't think of any situation where this actually happened to me. What do you mean by the "purely logical side" of the situation? The issue is that my mind wants certainty, which is neurotic. "Highly unlikely" doesn't seem to change it, because there is still that 1% chance, and it just fixates on that. I can't seem to "let go" of this need for certainty. I want to let go, I've tried the Sedona method, but it just doesn't work. It makes sense to go from "What if this happens?" to "If this does indeed happen, I will do X, Y, Z to solve it". But for some of the things I am anxious about, they are not really 'problems' to begin with, so they don't have solutions, and so my mind just panics and doesn't know what to do. What do I do about the things I'm anxious about where there can't be anything done about the situation right now?

@Judy2 Yes, the common theme is that they all have to do with the law and going to prison. That's what it all boils down to. It somehow rationalizes and spins a story that something that may be completely legal - something that you wouldn't even question the legality due to how innocent it is, could be illegal. Just like the first example I gave above. It feels like a lack of control and being unsafe. It feels like hypervigilance. @RickyFitts How do I relax into these feelings? I don't understand. I haven't felt relaxed for like 2 years.

Yes. Brace yourself though, these are going to sound irrational and delusional, but to me they feel very real. I recently emailed a supplements store asking if they accepted PayPal as a payment method since I could only see them accepting credit card through Stripe. Now the beast inside my mind (my paranoia/anxiety) is making me question and doubt whether it is legal to even ask the question I asked. Now it's paranoid about my email getting subpoenaed and them uncovering the one sentence long email I sent asking if a supplements store accepted PayPal as a payment method. Another example is me constantly being paranoid about people screenshotting all of the conversations we have with each other on direct messages and then showing it to other or manipulating them in a way that would tarnish my reputation. Another example is that people could always accuse you of doing something that you did not do, e.g. false rape accusations. I have seen this happen to someone I knew, and he is serving his 6th year in prison and will likely spend the rest of his life there. I have seen stories of this happening to people online, and I'm sure a lot of people have seen them too. Another example is that a couple of years ago an online book store gave me a refund for a book that was taking too long to arrive (2 months) and they said that it was probably lost in transit, a few weeks after the email I end up receiving the book. So it had taken 3 months longer than expected. I never ended up contacting them back that I received the book because I was too busy at the time and I'm still paranoid on whether I committed a crime. The book was just $20 by the way. The amount of energy and time my beast dwells on this little matter is completely disproportional, it was just a $20 book. This beast inside my mind is always looking for something to worry about. If it doesn't have anything to worry about, it will make me feel anxious for not having anything to worry about. It is stuck in fight or flight mode.

Are you sure this is safe? I thought that edging is dangerous and can be bad for your penis?

Man I kind of felt a little wave of sadness while reading this. I keep having negative thoughts but it feels uncontrollable. It's like there is a beast in my mind that constantly wants to be fed with anxiety. When there is nothing to be anxious about, it will be anxious about not having anything to be anxious about. Sounds crazy and irrational right? I know... but it feels so uncontrollable. I want it to leave me alone and just let me live my life. @Gesundheit2 How do you stop having negative thoughts?

Wtf. I never knew they gave these medications to pets too???

@Danioover9000 What is "PR nightmare"?

@Razard86 Using your analogy as an example, it's like my assistant (ego) is constantly saying, "alert! alert! danger! danger! caution! caution!" ALL THE TIME. It's looking out for potential dangers and is either trying to scheme how to manipulate its way out of it, or if the scenario its fearing is out of its control, it just panics.

@Razard86 Why did you need to go the hospital? But how do you know they weren't true? Sure, they might not be true at the moment you're having them, but they can be true in the future. Like I am paranoid about bad things that could happen to me in the future. They might not be true right now, but they could be true in the future. Sorry you had to experience that. What medication were you on? Why was your reality unstable? I am really interested in learning more about your story, especially since you are a massive value provider in this forum from what I've seen (yes, I've seen some of your value-packed posts while I might not replied to them). I am interested in seeing how you got from your unstable reality to where you are now, assuming your reality is stable now. How can I tell if I am attaching/engaging with my thoughts? I like your analogy. But what I am seeing is that my ego is so focused on protecting me that it's neurotic. I don't think it's normal to constantly feel anxious and fearful all day, 24/7. My ego should realize that it's only making me feel worse to always feel negative emotions all the time. It would be normal to have bouts of anxiety, e.g. before a job interview or an exam. But 24/7? Surely that isn't right.

@Carl-Richard Chicken Vegetables Brown rice or no rice Water Sometimes some fruits like bananas and dates I'm still open to any suggestions when it comes to diet, but odds are that I've likely exhausted them. I've tried all types of diets over the past couple of years. I felt the best on carnivore, but that's not a diet to be done long-term. @Bojan V Where do you find such therapists? Do you just google it?