Podie45

I know that SJW (Saint John's Wort) is an herbal SSRI. You may try it if you feel it would help.

@DIDego I get you. Sometimes, you don't know what could trigger someone. That is mostly how I feel when I try to help depressive&suicidal people on Omegle/Discord groups. @Leo Gura To be honest, I think I might take a break from everything soon and go in nature on a personal solo retreat: Not as a way to find an answer for PSSD, of course, but I need a break from my 9-5 / society to finally take a breath of fresh air. I haven't given up, I've been doing Ketamine which is a NMDA antagonist. It made things worse, which is a good thing. If an antagonist makes things worse, then it means upregulation / agonists may be what I need to focus on to finally find relief.

I can definitely relate, I grew up with sociopaths & narcissists. I have one friend. That's why I recently moved out, it was a tough decision but it's the first step towards the path of healing. I was lucky enough to find a job where I don't sabotage myself. I believe you can too! I'd say this could be helpful after moving out: PS: I'm not underestimating how serious the issue is. This is just what I've been doing to help myself & could potentially help you too.

@Preety_India I feel the same way. Mainly because I was overprotected, isolated and verbally abused my whole life (I guess). Whatever our race, gender, status etc. there will always be people that don't like who you are. We need to learn how not to give a fuck. I'm still in the process of learning this, and it is easier said than done. However, it can be done. Sending love

@ethanb121 Love you too @Crane Bahnsteik That's part of the mr.happy stack right? @Espaim Respects. It truly is a shitstorm!

@DIDego Had to take some time off to reflect on the whole situation. Feeling numb today I'd say.

@GreenLight I've been experiencing the same frustration, even with actual doctors. This case is just too complex for them. Which is quite annoying, especially when they tell you ''I'd rather have cancer than be you right now, honestly".

@DIDego It's my best friend, we're sharing an appartment. I'm not angry at him but I'd rather watch Leo's content than listen to a story about someone from Tinder. Buddy has like 9 of them over every week.

@GreenLight I got PSSD after 3 doses of Effexor. It just never left. 4 years free. I took it for like 2 weeks max. Yeah, they do shit like that. They trigger all kinds of shit. Of course, for some people it's a life saver. For me, I still get occasional loss of consciousness because of it. It was one of the side effects and it's still there. I never got earworms from a pill per say, but from experience I should tell you that some nurses are clueless about anything that's different. I was told Depersonalization is Brain cancer by a nurse. Trust your own experience, or an actual professional (even though ''professionals'' are simply animals that still make mistakes & they rely on studies that might be proven untrue in a few years)

@DIDego You think maybe, cold showers, reading, nofap, avoiding sugar & boring things would help to resensitize dopamine too? Yeah I'll probably be coming on this forum more often from now on and focus on this work, I've got nothing to lose. It's not like I'm growing by listening to my roommate talk about his tinder dates and such for hours.

@flowboy This guy, Adam from Psychedsubstance, also has a condition similar to PSSD. That's how he lost his hair; ''Post-Accutane Syndrome''. I've talked to him before. Cool guy. And yeah, it's hard to not feel suicidal while fighting this shit. I just recently lost even more sensitivity and that's far from being lifefuel. I did want to make a niche-type youtube channel where I explain how I cured Depression and such & experiment with substances in order to cure other syndromes (like HPPD & PSSD) but life got in the way. I'm still working on it though. I pretty much have to start all over again because I got too many viruses & wiped everything, but I still got my recordings. It's just the re-editing that's going to be a pain in the ass. This is the only picture I have of what I was doing:

@flowboy Nothing happens when I work out, there isn't this ''endorphin'' type feeling I used to get from it. It did cure the erectile dysfunction though, most likely because of increased bloodflow. Increasing testosterone has shown itself useless. I've heard of one case where the guy took MDMA+Psilocybin and improved by 80%, but this hasn't been worked for anyone else with the conditon. Psilocybin has been helpful mentally, but it does not help with PSSD. Maybe if I were to microdose it Or ingest it on a regular basis? I've been making a documentary on this syndrome, I initally wanted funding & have it aired on some kind of network but nobody has replied. I probably need connections in the industry. I've still been working on it with my own money, a 4K camera & a studio mic. At this point, I plan on recording my experience at an ibogaine retreat.

@Leo Gura I'm still working on this, neuropharmacist has been talking about a link with NMDA(Receptors), MOR, KOR and 5HT1A. Mostly, fellow sufferers tell you to end your life and there's no reason to stay alive. However, this is lifefuel: There's also the hypothyroidism that I have to fix, which I believe you are experiencing too from what I've seen on the blog. I'm not too sure if I should focus on that too, but it's hard enough to keep going. We're all in this together, stay strong.

@The0Self It's been about 4 years. Testosterone is low, put on TRT, this has shown no change except more beard growth. Hopefully there is way, though.

@Enlightenment I went to see endocrinologists. Put on TRT. Increasing testosterone, despite my low T profile, has been useless. Not even an improvement in libido. I must have tried thousands of pills, I was just recently prescribed Buspar. So far nothing has happened but we'll see. Amphetamines mainly just shoot up dopamine temporarily (not enough to produce an emotional signal), then induce a crash where I feel worse. Definitely more of a short-term solution, but when I'll be done with life enough I may pick up a methamphetamine habbit.

@GreenLight I wouldn't recommend you go back on those meds, but I have heard of people fasting for a week or two and having their visual symptoms improve. I wish I could explain how, but I'm having a hard time understanding the PSSD itself. I think the visual symptoms have something to do with 5HT2A / GABA / Glutamate?

@DIDego Yes, work is keeping me busy most of the time. Just recently moved out, but whenever I have free time Leo's content is, I feel, the best use of my time.

@Preety_India I did understand what you mean, I'll take this into consideration. Thank you for taking the time to write that.

@Preety_India I wish it were ok. I wanted a family. I wanted to make life worth it. I can't feel love, happiness, anger, sadness or any of these things. I can't enjoy my 20s sexually either. I see everyone having fun drinking alcohol and such. I can't feel much from that substance, especially not euphoria. I feel cursed. I try to keep a ''smile'' on my face, but I ruined my body, I can't even properly see this screen right now. There's too many things going on with this HPPD vision. I look at my hands typing this, they're dissociated. How did I handle this for so long. Where's the end of the tunnel?

My partners and I thought of an idea, after brainstorming for hours, which we thought would be life-changing and we thought there wasn't any competition at all. On top of that, it did align with our interests/passion & we wouldn't have been unhappy creating that business at all. We spent days thinking of the perfect name, designing the perfect minimalist/professional logo, making a professional HD song for the company (I even bought a Synth) & talking with someone who works in marketing about strategies (he even told us our idea was innovative). We had even planned an advertising budget & found the perfect places to advertise. And today, I was talking about it with someone and it turns out it has been done thousands of times and we didn't know. I guess we did make some progress and learned things that will be helpful in the future, but I can't help but feel like we can't go through with it and it's a fail.

I have been what one would call a Psychonaut for around 7 years now. It all started when I started getting interested in lucid dreaming & astral projection. It was crazy to me that these things were possible. This path killed my major depressive disorder & suicidal tendencies because it made me realize there is more to life than I thought. However, I had no idea there was such a thing as ''Enlightenment'' until about a year ago. Sure, I had experimented with psychedelics before but they had never induced a Mystical experience or ego death. This might be some sort of ''newbie'' question: Recently, I had around 2 grams of magic mushrooms and at some point, I felt like everything was about to disappear. Not only my ego, but also everything I could see, hear, touch... I mean the material/physical world itself. I was about to vanish into 'nothingness'. Obviously, this scared me and a fight or flight response kicked in. It felt like I was about to die, it felt like a physical threat. I fought for hours and didn't let it happen. Is that what people refer to as ego death? How does one learn to let go in these kind of situations?