WelcometoReality

@Peace and Love I recommend you writing a letter to your dad where you write about everything in your childhood and your feelings about it. Grieving the loss of someone with that complex history that you seem to have can be hard. You need to unravel all those emotions somehow, a letter may help you do that.

I'm saying I don't know if there is more. ☺ Is this true for you in experience or is it mind figuring things out? I'm not saying it's not that way, I just don't know. To me there seems like everything is happening spontaneously without anyone directing it. That is all I can say for now.

I can only speak for myself and there was an urge to know the truth. There was no reason why, it was just there. People are the way there are because that's the way they are. Everything else would just be a belief, an explanation, but if that's what you are seeking look into "Integral Spirituality" by Ken Wilber.

This is the other end of the spectrum of being attached/caring. It's not being detached.

I see, it can be quite tricky to explain these things ☺. Then forget about what I said and remember this. The mind is confused, it desperately tries to come up with answers but it will never get any. You are not the mind, you are only seeing it. Embrace the confusion, let mind do it's thing. It will try to get back the control with fear and anxiety. Let yourself fall into the unknown.

Well.. No. There is no questions because there are no answers. The questions come from the mind and minds are compulsive answer seekers. Pure perceiving is not knowing, it is embracing the unknown. So when you don't look for answer with mind pure perceiving can happen without any identification to mind. Yes you are already that. There is only a realization of that but after that realization there is a pendulum swinging between ego and the awake state. This can take time before settles in the awake state permanently.

One is only stuck if one thinks there is somewhere to go.

@Wendelin You are looking for answers, but when you are in the deep state of pure perceiving are there any questions then?

@Pauline Bureau You don't need to believe that enlightenment exist. That belief needs to be seen through anyway. What is needed is the urge to know truth Beliefs are just beliefs not in any way true. If you want to know what truth is look in you own experience, what is true?

Can you ever know what's going to happen? Maybe you will distance yourself or maybe you will come closer to your family. You simply cannot know. Picking up a glass of water for the intent of drinking the water you cannot be certain that you will. Maybe you can ease you mind a little by the fact that I have come closer to my family. Because there is no neediness anymore. No attempt to change who they are to fit my needs. Just acceptance of them. Unconditional love.

This is the key question for you to answer. If you are just a solitary individual why go through alot of work trying to "fix it". If that's the way you are embrace it. Nothing wrong with being introverted but in western society it is quite tabu. If you are shutting out people you need to dive into what beliefs are causing this behavior.

Could it be because there is one consciousness, so it makes sense that the most of the illusion is shared. The rest which is not shared is because consciousness is filtered through human vessels and those differentiate from each other?

Yes you could describe it that way. That ego is "doing" acceptance and THAT is a construct. That is what I meant by "true acceptance cannot be practiced". True acceptance is just there at the core of every experience it is not done as a practice. Ego is in essence unacceptance and it will always "do" to still that unacceptance. It can therefore not experience true acceptance but practicing acceptance can still be a way to lessen the ego. I've shared this before but you've might have missed it.

Acceptance is allowing everything to be as it is. So can you allow yourself to be unaccepting if unacceptance arises? Just overriding unacceptance with acceptance will only be adding a layer of belief.

@Infinitesimal True acceptance cannot be practiced. It is there after experiencing death, at the core of every moment. It is still a worthwhile practice to make as long as it is done in a conscious way.

@Whatev3r Ego really claimed ownage of the awakening experience here and it took about a year before that illusion was seen through.

Yeah it can be tricky to know if something comes from truth or from illusion. It gets easier though. Best is to just keep quiet if you are uncertain.

@Whatev3r Be in that space, let yourself fall from the cliff into nothingness, embrace whatever comes up be that fear anxiety love. There is no next step, that is just the mind trying to figure things out.

@Azrael When I read the first sentences I sensed you had a significant breakthrough. It does feel phony to write about it because it wasn't Azrael that had the experience was it?

@Wendelin You talk about your ego and your awareness so what are you?

@Mulky You are holding on to the state of openess but when awakening there is a pendulum between open and closed. You are asking how to hold onto one of these states but that cannot be done. Instead surrender to whichever state your in. Let go of that which wants to be in a certain state. When that wish to stay open and trying to control the openess is gone it will tend to stay open.

@Joshaps I too have only had resources on the internet. No spiritual club IRL. It was never really needed because I always preferred to figure things out for myself.

@Parki It is ,as @Leo Gura said, the final step. Think of the enlightenment path like a hike. You start by a lake and to get over it you need a boat. So you use the boat to cross the lake. After that you have to climb a mountain, so in order to continue the hike you need to leave the boat behind you, it has served it's purpose and it will be impossible to climb the mountain with a boat on your back. The enlightenment path is the same. Certain tools are used on different parts of the path.

@Joshaps Explore the wonders of non-duality. The answers will come in time and they will be realized by yourself. No one else can answer them.

@Wendelin Thank you for sharing your story. After the initial seeing there is a pendulum between the personal and the non-personal. When in the personal state there might be a wish to get back to this non-personal state, try not to cling onto that story.