WelcometoReality
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Everything posted by WelcometoReality
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I'm just watching that.
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Everything arises and falls in awareness! Everything in no-thingness.
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The body can't sleep. It closes it's eyes. I do not. Everything seems new.
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Nothing outside awareness. Inside is not emptiness, not Nothingness. Hard to describe it. A No-thingness, a spaciousness. Something that's not a thing.
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@Ayla awareness. It's all happening in awareness.
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It's clear now. What happened a year ago was an experience that the "I" grasped and started to identify with. The awakened "me". I am the truth it thought. It just had a taste and it never got to see the truth. It was never awake 'cause it cannot.
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no just experiencing itself
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experiencing is more fitting
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experience
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no worries left. I AM is all.
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@Pinocchio you're right.
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"I am" are the only true words i can say.
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There is no "I" walking and yet I am. It's all empty, is this oneness? No love felt.
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right now I just feel empty.
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A lot is happening now. I just talked to my daughter at the kitchen table, it didn't feel like "my" voice. Walking feels strange, like im walking for the first time. Energy pulses from my torso. gratefulness, joy and sadness all at once.
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@Pinocchio Your insights has really helped see the truth. It won't ever fool me again.
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And crying comes to this body as well when reading this. Love it. Thank you!
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@Pinocchio I'm so used to cutting off feelings. Thanks for pointing it out to me.
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@Pinocchio Thank you! will watch it tonight.
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Thank you Ayla. First reaction, anger: I already know this, I'm already awake. Seeing through the illusion of self. Second reaction, sadness: of not knowing what you are talking about. A lot of emotion has start to come up. Progress. The realization will come by itself, there is no I to force things. All that can be done is seeing through the illusion. When I had the awakening experience I started to listen to Adyashanti. Especially this one list: So much of "me" has dissappeared during this year. Friends falling away, hobbies, fears and beliefs. Also listened to this one to get an understanding of the different levels of awakening. Mind and gut are where the surrendering has taken place. Not much of heart which I'm aware of, but it has begun now.
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WelcometoReality replied to a topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Maybe you can. Be careful about using enlightenment to transcend your life though. In my experience it is when you develop spiritually in parallell with your life you see the best progress, both in life and in spirit. Eventually you have to integrate your enlghtenment work in your life, so why not start directly? I also had social anxiety. Living in my apartment playing games to avoid life. Meeting my fears I think was the greatest reason of my awakening. -
I did hold on to that experience in the beginning. Was able to see through it. Thought that it was all finished because it all felt so complete compared to duality. I have realized that it always feel complete the more it deepens the more complete it feels but there is always more. Been able to surrender the control of the openess. Never given myself credit. I'll sit with that. Thank you!
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WelcometoReality replied to WelcometoReality's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I just did the sitting. Managed to finish the whole thing. a quick recap, im guessing the time since I didnt see the clock. first try stopped after 2 minutes decided to change from my tight jeans to something more comfortable. second try 1st hour pain in my back lots of thought about what I should write when I was done fear of people not believing i did the sit. repositioned my hands to be on top of my knees. thinking this wasn't so hard 2nd hour still pain in the back a numbing of the pain thoughts about what i should write clearity and focus pain gone 3rd hour immense pain in the buttocks doubts arising about not finishing pain in the left ankle more doubts about finishing pain gone jaw starts shaking bite down to stop the shaking body starts shaking am I that stupid that i continue body stops shaking left arm and left lower leg starts shaking more doubts. thoughts about setting the alarm? should i check. right arm starts shaking. the whole body starts shaking. no more doubts, clearity and silence again, shaking continues. alarm goes off. Exhausted, slowly lays down on back. -
WelcometoReality replied to Karmen's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Karmen In one of Adyashantis talk he talks about a woman the teached that cried in every meditation for 2 years straight and then it suddenly stopped. I think it's just a natural healing process that takes place. I hope start crying soon. Haven't cried for years. -
WelcometoReality replied to 99th_monkey's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Great then you have three small enlightenment teachers. I don't know 'bout yours but my daughter tries to push my buttons all the time. I also had a colleague at work that really liked pushing my buttons. I found it great for some inquiry work, questions like why is this triggering me, what belief of mine makes me feel this way? Also mindfulness is something you always can practice, even better when things are hectic.